ITT we all work at a shitty startup in San Francisco

*boots Linux Mint onto a Dell Precision*

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Time for a Bucks run bros, send me your orders and I'll go get them. Don't get any lame shit like black coffee either.

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Funfact, Soylent doesn't actually contain any Soy at all

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>see office full of soyboys with beards
>turn 360 degrees
>walk away

ugh where did i put my dilator again
i can't take this
heading out for a triple maple-mocha frappucino, anyone want one?

Where is the free coffee and fruit

We will change the way you communicate!

*Ukulele music playing*

People who pretend to like black coffee get the rope.

So you walk in the door, spin in a circle, then proceed as normal?

I'm glad I managed to inverted an k-aary tree in Haskell so I could get this job porting our webpage to HTML5!

You obviously never had good coffee before then, not every coffee tastes like literal shit

Pajeets at work 1$/H

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>Open office working
Bose QC noise-blocking earphones.
You need these.
You could play music, but I recommend feeding white noise into your ears.

Americano is the best I can do and 99% of restaurants are just fucking terrible at it. No black coffee is good.

>"hheheheh i guess you've just never had slow french pressed half roasted three quarters gold coffee straight from sumatra before then hhehehehe"

Again, cream & sugar or you'll be swinging from a tree.

Are you guys looking for a graphic designer?

Contrary to what this thread offers, most startups that aren't blatantly destined to fail are packed with straight white men and gooks because they're the only demographic that actually gives a fuck about meaningful work and trying to do something new.

What's this picture from? Where can I get more?

This is your last warning

Nice job LARPing as a mod, those are two different posters you autist

>doesn’t get the joke

Autistic.
Not sure user it's just some generic "2 deep for u" bullshit probably from reddit.

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That pic is so sad. (It speaks to me.)

yeah i work in a giant open office filled with rows of cubicles. they clearly did it so they could just give every employee a laptop and they can literally sit anywhere and dock in. you don't actually have a space as you don't really matter. even if you work there 10 years you sit in the same endless rows. some people even have to 'hot bunk' if they have split shift hours, and some people don't have spaces at all, they sit where it's empty for the day

to me it indicates an expectation of high turnover and little regard for any individual. think of how long it would take for you to clear an office out when you inevitably leave or get shit canned! with the open office, you can hand a temp a freshly imaged laptop and get them going after the last warm body vacates.

Nigga you'd fuckin walk right in

Startups are a great source of security consultant work. The fun thing is that they can just scrunch up the issues and throw them into their inflatable basketball hoop without dealing with them

What's wrong with this? You think your job needs to make you comfy and care about you?

>we all work at a shitty startup in San Francisco
I assume that we live out in Oakland and commute for over an hour each way to and from work. If we're lucky, we live near a metro station and don't need to take a bus first.

Bonus: Lots of tough looking black people in the neighborhood. Going home at night is dangerous. Leaving for work early in the morning is equally dangerous.

From Oakland to SF isn't an hour, it's about half an hour. I used to do the commute from Dublin for work to the financial district. Since we're working in a startup, we'll probably live near Rockridge station. We'll move there for its "quirkiness" but soon all secretly come to hate blacks and latinos.

>8AM
>walk into job
>no front door because CEO didn't buy one yet
>walk past the topless hippie female employees not daring to look at them lest I be accused of rape
>get some coffee from the coffee machine
>for men it's $1, only 75 cents for women
>hour long meeting where only the women talk, men aren't allowed to speak
>it's another "male privilege in the workplace, sexual harassment, and why SCRUM is sexist" meeting, lasts 2 hours
>finally sit down to do some work
>fuck, forgot my seat dildo lube
>open up Atom and start coding in whatever flavor of the month JavaScript abomination framework the CTO decides to switch to this week
>next week do it again but in docker
>hourly male privilege alarm goes off, stop working for the next 15 minutes so the women can get paid an equal amount
>Atom crashes for the 3rd time this hour
>Chrome crashes for the 15th time this hour, but not sure if it's our website or chrome
>website takes nearly an entire gig to load but it's okay we'll optimize it before putting it live
>spoiler: never happens
>10PM
>leave and thank the entire team for graciously letting me be part of their vision of the future and verbally remind myself I am useless
>go home and cry heating up instant noodles for the 15th time this week, can't afford anything better since the company stock I was paid in still hasn't risen like the CEO said it would
>Midnight
>fap until I'm crying, sound of tears helps me fall asleep
>repeat

There is a difference between a job and a career.I will agree that if you are a disposable code monkey then you are not a necessary asset to the company. But if you are a valued employee that produces high turnover for the company, they will want to keep you working there instead of moving to a competing firm that may offer more in terms of salary, comfort, work life or both.

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Lets go to pic related with our macs!

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Headphones are a must no matter what in an office. Open office comes w/ both visual and auditory distractions. You cant fix the visual distractions nor fix the lack of privacy which is why cubicles were invented. As per usual, liberal try to reinvent everything w/o understanding first why it existed... So, open offices are still shit tier where no significant amount of work gets done. Senior devs who do challenging work that requires focus/etc do so in closed off offices... open offices are just for nigger tier cost reductions.
Well, I thankfully have the freedom to choose where I work and I have marked a number of places off for work conditions such as these. It indeed was a decision to reduce costs and with relative disregard for workers. So, I take this as a sign when interviewing/considering a company. I am interviewing them and them me. If I don't like the conditions or the way they treat their workers, its a dead deal. Open offices are a dead deal. However, I thankfully work on lower level CE/CS thus never ran into employers w/ such stupid meme conditions. This crap is typically found at startups working on framework bullshit, cloud nonsense, and social media. Real engineering firms dont have these meme conditions.

Did you mean 180 degrees? because you are still facing those soyboys

>Claim I'm part of some oppressed group
>Get promoted

Found the newfag

Look he got another one! The absolute legend

So glad I got the fuck out of the bay area years ago and never fell for the city meme. I always considered SF/downtown/cities to be places I go for nightlife or to do things. I never fancied LIVING IN IT AND PAYING A PREMIUM to do so. When I'm home, I want peace, quiet, and safety. I don't want homeless people pissing/shitting around me or trying to rob me. So, suburbs was always > city. Hilariously, I could get to many parts of the city from the suburbs faster than my friends who lived in SF. So, I spent more time in the city and knew of more things to do than my friends who lived hunkered in some overpriced flat. Had an amazing time but the costs/idiocy became too overwhelming

>Hey guys, instead of React, let's use Vue or Angular!

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>software """engineers""" who do front-end web work only
yeah guys typing

var react = require('react');

>>> npm install

and having 50,000 lines of code written for you is totally engineering haha nice

TOP KEK...
I have zero respect for the shit tier socially manipultive and destructive nonsense that framework kiddies pump out in open space code monkey farms

the ultimate newfag test

:(

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Found the real newfags

I'm still living here, got a great deal on an apartment in San Jose but I work somewhere up the peninsula. I don't know what I want to do any more, even after years of experience I can barely afford living here. I'm sort of this weird jack-of-all-trades sysadmin and I'm not sure if I could find a job somewhere else. I really should study one area in particular and make myself desirable, but I don't know what. Maybe Docker or something.

I'm having a quarter life crisis, and I can't really talk about it with anyone except you guys, who might know what I'm going through. All I know is, one day I want a place I can call my own, and there's no chance of me doing that in California.

>implying
If you want to write code without having shit done for you, I highly recommend writing binary to trigger opcodes on your CPU.

Was this supposed to be funny?

Except that's exactly what actual engineers do. The only actual engineers in the space of computers are CompE and EEs doing hardware design/HDL synthesis. People writing programs are [spoiler]programmers[/spoiler], and nothing more.

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>no duct work
>no air conditioning
>just a couple ceiling mounted fans
ignoring the open workspace, that is an exceptionally shitty workspace.

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guys i got kicked out of my 5'x6'x6' apartment in the suburbs for not being able to payt my $5000/mo rent. is it cool if i sleep on the air mattress in the bathroom?

Surprise, the rent for your studio apartment was just raised to 10000/month. You now have barely enough to buy food.

I don't disagree.

It works because the ADHD codemonkeys won't be able to slack at work watching memes.

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more like now you can finally afford a 3 bedroom apartment in san francisco in a shady neighbourhood.

That's pretty fuckin' gay.

give a shekel for the AI goy

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GLUG GLUG GLUG
oh yea, thats right I have things to work on
GLUG GLUG GLUG
>hey user do you want to work on some of that stuff?
yea, sec
GLUG GLUG GLUG
>walks out of company
>becomes woman

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hot

Is there actually any proof that drinking Soy feminizes you or is that just more of Jow Forumss flavor insult of the month?

I am sure that you can answer that yourself, it is not just a meme

it is real

The actual test is replying to people who question the 360 degrees ironically. Congrats, faggot.

holy fuck thats hot

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thanks

>be a girl
>get sexually assaulted by my dudebro autistic boss.
>get fired for turning him down

the actual newfag test is replying to the post that replies to the 360degree post repliers. I'm sorry user, you might be pretty new.

It's just some stupid meme. There is nothing wrong with soy beans or soy products.

There are actually new high-rise apartments that aren't too bad. Like 4 to 5k for a 2 bed, one bath fully furnished and modern. It's sort of like asian metros. While true that you could rent a large house for that much anywhere else it's not as bad as it used to be when it was like 3k for a single room.

well you can transition into a woman if you consume only soy. A lot of soy, but still, you can.

>if you are not doing major contributors to a company's success you deserve to be treated like a sheep in a flock

fucking anime cuck kill yourself

>Oakland to SF isn't an hour, it's about half an hour
You are right. It only feels like an hour.

>suburbs always > city.
For SF, I'm in agreement. There are way too many feral homeless crazies allowed out in public.
But cities are a beautiful thing, when done right. SF isn't that. Not by a long shot.

>I want a place I can call my own, and there's no chance of me doing that in California.
Sys Admins are considered janitors in SF and Bay Area. Go somewhere where you'll be appreciated.

Deshon! Go with Rasheesh to Ikea and pick up some more desks for our bullpen, we are expecting 4 new interns from overseas and you'll be teaching them off the clock because we have deadlines to meet. At the end of the quarter I'll give you a bonus for your troubles (if we still have funds lol). I'll keep in touch about your progress on Slack!

>your chromosomes can change if you consume enough soy
marvelous user, marvelous

Many studies have been done on xenoestrogens. There are a legitimate concerns for pregnant women and newborns. Healthy men should produce enough testosterone to nullify the effects of regular soy intake, but we're talking about already low-T men who are substituting large portions of their diet with soy. It's very plausible.

Cities are overrated because it usually takes 30-40min to drive into one from outside the city..
Also ensures you have a purpose for going to the city as opposed to just farting around and bragging about it. Like I said, I found I did more things in the city than my friends who lived in it. Mon-Friday, you're not doing shit of note in the city besides paying for overpriced dinner/drinks. Weekend means I can get out and about in the city just like any other cityfag as I often do. Living in a city is a trophy for young people to convey to others that they're cool by association. I'm not gonna knock it too hard because I after-all need someone to serve as a base camp for when I drive up.

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Soy is actually high in phytoestrogens which are metabolically active in humans and do have an effect. If you're replacing your entire diet with it, and already have a hormone deficiency, there's reason for concern.

>san fran start-up
>only two pageets
>no womyn
>no interracial mangled midget gay lovers
>white man
This company needs more diversity

>Soylent vending machine arrived
>if we plug it in our Green Energy Only 25A system will be overloaded and the circuit breaker will turn it off

wat do

Better hire a five man HR/marketing team called "community and internal outreach"

can't we just like... a coffee maker?

>the only valid transition into a woman is through chromosome-changing.
While on a biological level that's correct, you know that's not how trans-women transition.

Can I get uhhhhh a vanilla macchiato with 3 pumps of caramel and soy milk

top kek

underrated

>meaningful work
>something new
Yeah bro tinder but for gays and tinder but for trannies and Twitter but for gays and Facebook but for trannies is so new and innovative!!!

>65446913▶
I was thinking moreso robotics or autonomous systems but I guess you wouldn't know, because you've never actually worked in industry, like 95% of this board.