Normie stories

>have normie friends
>constantly complain about fans roaring on their little fagbooks
>tell them that it's probably just dust building up and to disassemble it and blow the dust out
>say no user, I might break it and taking apart it is illegal
"Oh yeah I used to own several macbooks, it's actually not illegal to take them apart, because the warranty-void sticker is hidden beneath this thing and you can avoid removing it. Say, I could clean it for you for $40 if you want, I'll also clean your charging port and usb drives. I've got all the special tools at home."

But instead you were a faggot about it and bitched about it on Jow Forums. Natural selection is bound to end this user's bloodline.

Fpbp owo

Say no enough times and they will stop

Or say no nigger once

>it's illegal to take apart your own electronics
I want to say you're lying, but I know people that are that stupid

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>please install signal buddy
>no

What warranty sticker you fake fuck I actually did work on MacBooks and there weren't any fucking stickers. They just made everything literally the strength of a potato chip and have different torx screws for each thing so if you got it wrong you just broke someone's logic board.

Clean a magsafe port that's metal and magnetic and charge them 40 for a paper towel wipe, fuck you

Jesus chris

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SO MAD XD XD XD XP

>Leave laptop on
>Laptop updating via terminal
>Updating Matrix style
>Dad walks in and sees it
>Has panic attack because I might be hacking
>Tells me I have to get my own separate internet because I'm a hackerman
>I slowly explain to him I'm just updating my laptop

Linux, not even once

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He's saying you can just say that so you can fix their laptop for a fee. Doesn't matter if it's true

>ill pay you
>i threw in a spare sdd i had and some ram
>never pays

Everytime.
I say no now. I pretend i know nothing about their computers or phone and its different.

Ended up scoring a $200 gps though once off my dad
'was broken'. Literally just had to many maps on it to boot properly. Factory reset. Works fine. Built on dash cam.

>cloud
Most people have no fucking use for a cloud.

i doubt she was thinking about having sex with you in the first place.

>At work
>Recently migrated to O365 for mail and shit.
>Business supervisor complains about Focused Inbox in OWA.
>Connect to Exchange Online via PowerShell and launch a cmdlet to disable Focused Inboxes for all 300+ employees.
>Nigga flips the fuck out.
>"Is this the Matrix?"
>Immediately get a raise.

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>hanging out with normie friends
>one telling me about his new windows computer
>it's amazing, does everything, a gift from the heavans, can even cook egg
>"do you even have a windows computer user?"
>I have a computer but not windows
>"then what is it?"
>panic.jpeg
>about to say linux
>freind cuts in "-must be apple, right?"
>answer y-yes
>relief.holycow

ARE YA WINNIN' SON

No that's a stupid idea why would anyone fake being gay just to get fucked? Jesus the fucking state of this place.

Always had college friends who would say "its illegal" when it was just against the rules of the college. People overuse this word.

>dad walks in
>"son, why don't ya do some fuckin' and play some sports"
>older brother drives through my second story window with his heavily modified R33 Skyline, loudly blasting Post Malone's 'Congratulations'
>jumps out of the sunroof with two solid 7.5s in each arm
>somehow all whilst browsing instagram on his phone and eating a McChicken
>"Allow me dad" he says, whilst slapping everybodies ass in the room and Snapchatting the boys
>Walks up to my and looks towards my emacs screen
>"pfft, 'using namespace std'? That's a dick move bro"
>everybody starts laughing furiously at me
>discarded pocky containers fall from my pockets
>A WHOOOOLE UNIVERSE...

This.
Every. FUCKING. TIME.

this is the only way to deal with normies.

Tonight, on things that never happened...

I've literally called it "nerd OS" and had a giggle with my normie friends. Then again I'm known as the tech guy and get away with a lot, they have me delete their smiley packs they downloaded

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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This literally just happened to me user, I feel your pains

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Fix laptop don't even get a 6 pack of beer never speak to them again

>not ublock origin

>using namespace std
you deserved it

I can't imagine being such a neckbeard

Just say the name of the distro instead of "linux". They'll respond "Oh, I never heard of that one" and the conversation will quickly change subject.

>giving them back their tech without payment
???

>adblock
Pretty sure you're the normie here

>don't do any research into apple ecosystem
>wonder why people use it

it's all linked

Airpods are linked to all devices, including your mac and switches around

You can click the wifi icon on your mac and your iphone is there, if you click it will turn hotspot on your iphone and connect to it with 1 click

Your phone can unlock your watch and your watch can unlock your macs

Take a photo on 1 device, it's synced to all of them

Airdrop to send files between all devices

Carry over on your phone or ipad or mac. iphone apps appear in your dock and you can continue reading/typing on your mac

then you get calls on your mac and imessage, facetime etc

It's not really game changers all round but when people have been doing it this way for 5+ years, when they switch and can't do shit without multiple apps, some needing a sub and losing functionality, android seems shit to them

>apple products cost an arm and leg
>buy iphone and mac laptop
>don't have arms or legs anymore
was it worth it?

Did the MacBook belong to the college? Why would you not be allowed to take apart your own electronics?

>everyone is poor
>implying macs are expensive vs their competitors
>like cost of phone matters when i'm getting it on a contract

i don't date girls because they don't want to face the hassle to install Telegram

>KDE connect implement all non-retarded things on that list
feels good to be using free software

they pay me 40€ for fixing their shit. joke on them, i like fixing their shit i would do it for free

Why do people act like Google is somehow better than Apple?

They're both shit but on android you can escape most of the poo.

How so?

On android you can gain superuser rights, a thing apple prevents very strictly. I refuse to use a device that won't obey what I tell it to do

But you're still giving your data to Google unless you install an alternative OS.

My general rule, which I'm always upfront about, is:
>I'll take a look, and give recommendations, for free
>But I will charge for any actual work
That way, if they're too tight to pay me, they have enough info to either fix it themselves, or will take it to someone else who will charge far more than I will.
Thankfully, my small circle of friends are tech savvy enough to rarely need help, and all of extended family are interstate.

?

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So you're not actually defending Android/Google here?

I'm defending the android platform for being more open than ios and more functional than sailfish. I would never, ever, in any case, defend the current google.

What about the backdoors the Chinese are known for putting in their phones?

Holy shit now i can get pussy

The backdoor and botnet is in the stock rom, which I replaced with lineage. I'm not really worried about the chinese hunting me down and accessing whatever is on my phone with a local backdoor, if something like that exists. Besides, it's not like there is any phone that isn't backdoored in some way. I usually hat people that argue this way, but with phones there just isn't a better option

What about the Librem 5 when it arrives?

...

that's just another user saying that people he knew did that at his college, its not connected to the laptop thing. Just about the use of the word illegal.

As you said, it hasn't arrived yet

It's not like a smart phone is a necessity. If there are no good options, don't take one.

>doing nerd shit
>some fag starts talking about shit he doesn't understand
>say "yes, I agree" and continue with what I was doing
1 normalfag dealt with in 3 words with no annoying followups
Also scientifically proven to work:
>"I don't care"
>ignoring them outright

>what do you do user?
>I write software for, like, aerospace companies and railways and shit
>oh, you're an IT guy! can you take a look at my phone? it's been a bit slow lately

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>be software engineer
>use gnu+linux exclusively for the last 6 years
>family wants advice with their computers
>mom doesn't even know basics
>is confused when I multitask between 3 directories
>doesn't want me to disable their avs "save browsing" because it backdoors ssl and is essentially less secure
>she gets mad after 15 minutes because I don't "explain what I'm doing"
>I explained every single step
>get never asked for help again
>feels good man

this

precise reason I am still a virgin

>"yeah, I charge $50 an hour"
Come on user.

just say linux you sperg
theyll say ok and change the subject

My dad would tell me, that I'd better find a gf, rather than compiling a kernel.

>not AdNauseam
It's like you want to destroy the web

Now instead of coming off as a sweaty nerd, he comes off as an annoying applefag.
There's this one Applelfag I know...
>annoying as hell because he only brags about how good his devices are
>always claims that his devices are better even when they're objectively not
>literally won't accept facts about his shitty devices
Not even fucking RMS is this annoying.

>Normie stories
was once oppn the phone and my secretary entered the room. Immediately I began to think - she must be what, 25, or 26, jeez I wish i knew her when she was 12

>Not having sex with a girl because she doesn't like your choice of phone
Trust me, I doubt she ever had a thought of sex with you, so maybe it's best that you stopped.

>be me
>18, first job
>small insurance company in my town
>slowing i start to replace old ass computers
>one temp had like 19 yo and was always complaining about how slow was her computer (old Pentium 4)
>assemble a nice mini itx board inside a discrete case
>take her old computer at 12 am (lunch time) and plan to finish backup and set up everything at 12:30 so i did no had to talk with her
>done
>decide to format her computer to have a spare machine
>1:35
>girl calls me
>where is my fucking trash bin?
>lol, i must have moved it
>get to her room and point to the trash bin exactly in the same spot where it used to be
>not that trash, my computer trash
>minimize 10 internet explorer windows and point to the desktop
>girl take the mouse of my hands and triple click the trash icon
>empty
>where are my files?
>walk away
>get in my room
>walk out of my room and go to the closest employ
>laughing my ass off i try to explain what just happen
>old coworkers don't give a single fuck
>180º
>girl had followed me and was looking at me while i shit talk her.
>quit weeks later.

That bitch deleted all her files and keep in the trash so she had not to navigate between documents and download files...

>Implying you ever pay the Mac tax more than once
Apple products hold value for fucking ever. When you're ready to "upgrade" you sell your old stuff for almost 80% of what you paid for it, all your data is on your iCloud and time machine backups, and within an hour of replacing all of your stuff with the newest version, all of your data is on your new devices like nothing ever changed.

Macfags aren't any more wealthy than anyone else, they just play their ecosystem to its strengths. That's also a big reason why some people are diehard Apple, aside from having to learn a whole new way of doing even the most basic tasks, they know that switching away means having a phone and laptop that lose 90% of their value in the first damn year.

The funny thing about this retardation is it only works when everyone else does it too. If people just started selling their iPhones for what they're actually worth after the 2 years with their battery degraded to shit, they would get the same as everyone else, but because they think their devices are special...
Also,
>implying gahnoo plus linucks doesn't let me keep the same machine for 10 years

>Things that never happened
Even normalfags won't store their file in the trash bin.

You see, a lot of people don't know about computers. But being completely inable to do completely trivial tasks on your computer WHILE coming up with completely retarded and convoluted ways to make up for that is something entirely owned by the female gender.

My dad is 60. He didn't know about Linux. You know what he did when I installed Fedora? He asked questions and learned. Meanwhile my mom on Ubuntu has these absurd rituals, like keeping windows on her laptop screen, barely readable, while ignoring the 25" screen I attached to it right in front of her.

Boy, i hope you never work as a support. You have no idea of the thousands different ways that users can ruin perfect things.

My first ever call was a guy who pressed F11 and could not close his browser... (i don't blame him)

>while ignoring the 25" screen I attached to it right in front of her.
Classic

>gave speech to class on how important encryption and privacy are in today's world
>they all looked like they understood what I was talking about and asked some legitimate questions

I'm sure I'll run into idiots eventually, guess I just got lucky.

I would never work as tech support, I'd be hanging myself within a week.

I like this solution.

My fiancee only uses iphones, has only ever used iphones, and will only ever use iphones for no reason other that because iphones are what girls use and are expected to use and all her friends use one and she will never change.

I was 18 and needed money.

I live in a third world, total experience counts way more than a "top tier" university over here.
It was not a glamorous work, but open many doors to me which allowed me to get my graduation debt free.

Sorry you had to go through that shit user, I don't know why, but people just not getting stuff you explain over and over is the worst/most frustrating feeling.

kek

Stop trying to reason with unreasonable people.

Here's how it goes every time.

>i hurd you care good wif pooter
>fix the computer
>something unrelated to what you fixed "breaks" (pebkac 95% of the time)
>you brok it

this is why i don't fix peoples computers unless they pay me up front, and only do set up of infrastructure and never support.

disgusting...

kek

what is this supposed to mean

You're completely at fault here. Why did you give it back without payment?