i got drunk last night and ordered 10 hedges on amazon
i tried cancelling them this morning but it didn't work and now im getting 10 hedges in the mail
what the fuck do i do, i can't just drop off 10 giant fucking hedges at UPS, i don't own a fuckin truck
Call UPS.
i don't think they will do antyhing
Who the fuck orders a bunch of hedges while drunk? What the fuck user?
>what the fuck do i do
set up a nice hedge maze
you're gonna have a great maze
>i got like le so drunk and high and did so le randum things xDDDd i can't believe myself reddit
>man i'm soooo wasted
>who wants to get shitfaced tonight? WOOOOO
truly ebin, OP, upboated
So...
how
this but unironically
>what the fuck do i do
Stop drinking
>lel reddit look at le crazy thing i ordered while drunk what am i to do
funny post, have some reddit gold XD
Call up Amazon and demand those tards to take it back. They don't care about vendors, and they don't want to lose your business.
This thread made my day. Holy shit.
hello Jow Forums4chan
You clearly can't drink responsibly and make poor decisions when intoxicated. The solution is to stop drinking before you do something worse that ruins your life.
Might as well have some fun with it. Rent a truck and bring them all to a fairly busy area, then plop the hedges down. If anyone asks, tell them you are a great ape and you are reclaiming great ape territory from the sapiens. Film it. Start a patreon. Call it "Premium Primate."
He didn't ask for reasons to goto AA, faggots. You don't know if OP is a regular drinker or not.
I wish I did shit like that when intoxicated instead of become combative and ruin relationships as a result. God I'm so depressed. Worst thing is the girl I've been depressed over for 2 years I just spoke to and she said she would have seen me if I hit her up but now we are both balls deep in other relationships.
I called them and they said I have to wait until it is delivered.
I CAN'T PACK 10 HEDGES IN MY CAR
>regular drinker
Irrelevant
Can you change the delivery to require a signature? If so just don't answer the door or sign. After about two or three failed delivery attempts they'd be shipped back anyway.
Refuse delivery. Be like "I dunno who the fuck ordered these hedges but no (anons name here) lives here and if you don't get this shit off my property I'll be filing a complaint and a civil suit, now fuck off"
OP just take them a few at a time if you have to. Not all at once.
wouldn't they make you pay for storage for those kinds of things?
No because it's not your problem. UPS can't prove you ordered them. Worst case scenario is that amazon charges you for the return shipping.
>kid having fun and living his life get drunks once
>OMG STOP RUINING YOUR LIFE BEFORE YOU BECOME LOST!!!!
That's you.
Kek and add that your credit card was used fraudulently
Why not just plant the hedges. Get drunk and plant them and be like I got drunk and ordered hedges and got Drunk again and planted them
Set them up and sculpt your hedges.
This, OP.
>kid having fun and living his life get drunks once
>kid orders hundreds of dollars worth of something he neither has room for, doesn't want, and potentially cannot afford and almost ended up footing the bill anyway
He's lucky it was some shitty hedges and not something that would land him in serious debt or damage his credit. My mother used to do this shit and applied for credit cards while under the influence, damaged it badly. It's fun until you start doing things that can negatively impact your life.
topkek
>they charge OP 550 for "shipping"
>gets cucked out of refund and hedges
>leaving gigantic box with hedges in it next to post office in shitland ghetto area
surely its not a bomb
IT WON'T LET ME
guys....
each hedge is 40 pounds...
This. What kind of deviant's drunk mind turns to hedges?
this could be the beginning of a great hobby OP
Dude, no one cares you had a sloppy drunk of a mother. Save your preaching for homeless people. No one wants to hear your unhelpful bullshit. Your mom probably would have drank less if you weren't so whiney.
She'd have drank less if you stopped selling the food stamps for anime figurines DAD.
LOL. It's a bit fucked up they'll just unload 10 40 pound boxes of hedges on your lawn unsigned.
Call Fedex and have them intercept and return the shipment, otherwise you're fucked and will have to deal with them when they arrive. Also, what possessed you to buy 10 hedges? What plan did your drunk mind have for these?
Or call the fedex office in concord, nc and report that 10 large box contained bombs.
>Your mom probably would have drank less if you weren't so whiney.
topkek
I don't remember why I ordered a bunch of shrubbery.
But shorty's running wild smokin' sess drinkin' beer
And ain't trying to hear what I'm kickin' in his ear
Neglected, for now, but yo, it gots to be accepted
That what? That life is hectic
Just have it held at a location, a UPS store I presume? Go there and tell them to send it back presenting them the amazon barcode that got sent to you.
Maybe if you go to your local lawn and garden store or department you can buy ten more hedges to set up in your yard to prevent these from being delivered?
Check your browsing history for some context. Visuals me best to remember.
>Saving browsing history
>being an unreasonably paranoid autist
might as well post them on craigslist now and try to have a buyer lined up, your only hope is to hedge your bets
Hey now, I'm not unreasonable.
He's gonna be bushed moving all of those 40lb boxes.
schedule delivery for one of your neighbours
Avoid heavy drinking, you might end up barking up the wrong tree.
don't worry user you're not alone
Careful OP wont be able to brush these jokes off so easily.
Start digging
Happy Earth Day OP!
He can't, these jokes are well rooted.
Leaf him alone guys
Stop beating around the bush guys, OP has a drinking problem.
Bingo
I'm sure he can shrub it off.
You cheeki cunt
I'm pretty sure it was related to earth day being tomorrow
Dealing with all these must leave you feeling bushwhacked, huh OP?
Plant them in someone else's yard in the night
I didn't even know you could order that from amazon/online. An ENTIRE hedge? lol
This, and then report to Amazon that you never got the package. Get a refund, and possibly get your neighbour in trouble.
upvoted
Why hedges?
earth day
Pretty good response time though.
Give them to the homeless.
Were you watching the holy grail?
Just sell them to someone in your neighborhood using whatever the american version of gumtree is.
Set it to pick up only.
So is this just reddit/g/ now? If I wanted to read long strings of bad puns I could do it over there.
It's called having some fun. If you weren't a bitter faggot, you'd have a chuckle.
It's threads like these that make me so happy I don't drink. Too bad I got hooked on deliriants instead so I have the memory of a goldfish and mental stability of a crack whore.
Barbara bush died, and now you want to kill 10 more bushes.
Shame.
>Thanks god I don't drink
>I'm just 100000% worse, but at least I don't drink!
Refuse delivery. UPS will return them to the sender and you will probably be able to get at least a partial refund back.
Exactly, a silver lining.
UPS is able to redirect your delivery. Either the business should be able to do it, or you can make an amount on the ups website with your address and you should be able to have it sent back or redirect it.
Alternatively, refuse delivery. Don't sign for it and tell them you're refusing delivery. Possible that they won't send it back, but idk. You might still be able to get a refund.
It's not the drinking, it's the fact that OP is a retard.
>tfw you buy 400 pounds of shrubbery
Drinking exacerbates stupidity.
I drink sometimes but never to the point of blackout and I have never ordered hedges drunk.
One time I got gradually drunk and started messing around with an old 486 I have. By the time I stopped drinking and went to bed, I had a 400 GB HDD and a DVD drive in a machine whose BIOS goes up to 525 MB HDD and doesn't know what a CD is, all detected and working under Win98 and Damn Small Linux.
>deliriants
Like inhalants? The hypoxia will turn your brain into swiss cheese. Difluoroethane could give a heart attack on the spot.
lmao someone save this thread
Just don't try to use a shoe to do it.
>what is archiving
put me in the screen cap
Do it for me?
No those are more tame desu. Deliriants like diphenhydramine, benzy, and datura can make you go "lock me away forever" insane. I got like 10% there me thinks.
Terrible.
Especially terrible.
All right.
you win
Checked.
just lie and say they never delivered, or got stolen off your porch
all ten hedges
that you purchased in a drunken stupor
you sick fuck
I like you user. Let's hang out.