Why are so many tech jobs like this?

omg the way in which you ordered these made me think you work at the same company as me because this is ranked in order of annoyance for me. Fucking nerf guns are so annoying, grow up you fucking children.

kek

Dulls the brain and I don't want to hear loud obnoxious drunk people at work.

>Monthly dress-up days
What did he mean by this?

>See glimpse of Rajeet with a gun
> But wasn't he hindu?
the punchline

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You're a faggot.

>creating the environment where only "shallow work" is possible
>the best productivity

Shit company. NGMI.

Read the research.

Just fired? keko

The last three points are unobtrusive to work and the first doesnt happen in the large majority of places.

Fuck off, retard.

>read the research that alcohol dulls the brain
I dobt have to you dumb cunt its obvious it does, thats not the reason you're a faggot.

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idk but a job like that sounds annoying as shit

i just wanna go to work
fuck around BY MYSELF
maybe talk some shit with some broworkers (;D)
get my check
go the fuck home

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man that actually looks pretty nice

Enjoy your dementia and shortened lifespan because you enjoy ingesting literal poison (they do call it alcohol poisoning)

Imagine all the skin flakes and body oils that accumulate in that pit. It's a bacterial nightmare unless they disinfect the balls every day.

No u

I will. Enjoy being an insufferable faggot

hahaha this guy is too scared to drink some alcohol so he has to justify his fear with """logic""" hahahahahahahaha what a fucking VIRGIN

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Living in a city/using computers/working in an office also shorten your lifespan what it your point?

>disinfect the balls every day

Yeah, why not smoke and shoot heroin also?
Heroin is less harmful than alcohol by the way.

All of those are super cheap benefits. It keeps people who want expensive benefits from even applying for a job there. They can discriminate based on age and family status without actually doing anything illegal.

When did Jow Forums get invaded by normies?

>Being an actual straight-edge fag
You must be fun at parties.

No way, while alcohol does generate physical dependence it the long run it's not even close to opiates.
The main reason alcohol is more "harmful" is due to drunk driving.

>only normies drink
fuck off you hipster vegan cunt

are u implying that a only a normie would drink alcohol

THIS MAN HAS NEVER TASTED WHISKEY IN HIS LIFE

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>heroin is less harmful than alcohol
Imagine being this dumb. You could have picked nearly any other drug for that sentance and been right.

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>best productivity
>best talent
Why doesn't 2sigma, or any fintech shop really, have these policies despite attracting the best talent?
Whiteboards and closed offices with 3-5 people are best for productivity and attracting talent, since that's the environment the talent spent their time during PhD.

The only reason alcohol scores higher there is because it has more consumers. Compare only the drug-induced damage and mortality columns and you have a completely different picture. Also I'm sure that study is from before hearing about the opiate epidemic became commonplpace.

>Look how cool we are drinking alcohol xD

>using all those as definitions of 'harm'
Fuck off with your technicality

Blurring the line between work and home slowly conditions you to accept spending more time at work. And it's cheaper to give bullshit benefits than to raise pay, I know I'd rather have a $1/h raise than casual fucking fridays or goddamn yoga classes or pinball or whatever the fuck else they are offering.

>because it has more consumers
That's per capita, not absolute numbers.
Even the opioid epidemic has caused far less harm than alcohol.

How does that post imply that at all you stupid cunt

>look how cool and superior i am for not drinking alcohol XD

Numbing your central nervous system with a neurotoxin is manly, bro

Drop a roomba in the pit. I hope it still works when submerged in balls.

But the increased per capita consumption influences the metrics. Because it is socially acceptable to drink alcohol we get plenty drunk driving incidents, which I'm sure account for most of the injury category. Alcohol also has a higher lifetime economic cost because it simply takes way longer, and needs a way bigger frequency to completely destroy your life. This longer process also allows for more family adversities and wife beatings to happen in the process.

That sounds silly, but honestly I would like the benefits to be pals with people that are working with me. I can't stand a place where I have to see other people's mugs and not talk to them much.

However forced "fun" events, nah. Fuck those. Sometimes I'm not going to participate in your stupid "dress like a unicorn" day. I'm not in kindergarten and your idea of fun is just fucking silly.

no dum dum alchole bad

*salutes with the finest craft beer*

>drinking craft beer
Fuck you're a faggot

Being a dumb sperg with literal brain damage makes you superior bro

>if you don't poison yourself with socially demanded drugs, you're a hipster vegan
Veganism and hipsterism don't actually have anything against alcohol. Most hipsters love DUDE MICROBREW LMAO. It's only the NEETs who don't drink, because they know they're susceptible to alcoholism because of their depressive state. It's also just a normie thing to drink socially and normies should die. Rethinking that, let them drink their poison.

>he thinks hes going to make it in his career being this autistic.
I hope you're a genius bro. Anything less and your fucked

My career doesn't demand I drink alcohol. No one knows I don't. No one cares.

>Being a dumb sperg with literal brain damage makes you superior bro
Not drinking ethanol doesn't cause brain damage.

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new management handbooks now say that 'employees prefer non-monetary compensation' without factoring in how many employees are women now, who only wanted social approval in the first place, and so 'employees' want non-monetary compensation is excuse #500 to pay employees less and now they simulate having family and friends while you slave away for the same real wages they earned in 1975

>work
>not just doing nerf fights while getting paid

>Friday afternoon beers while you work
Only one worth caring about, desu senpai.

>Friday afternoon beers while you work

you're right that's retarded. i'll only work somewhere if i'm allowed to drink 24/7 madmen style

>implying you wouldn't get sued, by everyone for emotional dame, and get charged with three counts of involentary man slaughter, unless they can provide a case where people knew you hated them and that they could show beyond a reasonable doubt to the jury that is was precipitated.

because it's literally goylent culture

It's to distract you from their lack of paid vacation days, 401k matching, insurance, or education subsidizing programs

The research says ballmer peak

This but unironically

>Nerf
Anyone seen the prices on these 50 grams of plastic 'nerf guns'? Insane. That's what makes me hate nerf guns and people that actually buy them.

itt antisocial retards

You have autism. Sorry.

xtreme penetrator rounds for the fat one?

>>Friday afternoon beers while you work
Sign me up

Get noice cancelling headphones. Easy

>Monthly dress-up days
that's a fairly effective deterrent

we used to have free beer on fridays
then one of the owners nudged his deadbeat son into an "internship" (aka $20/hr to fuck around on reddit and make shit up at standup to impress his father)
he's 19 so alcohol was banned from the office, even though we used to let the real interns (who were usually

Enjoy your shitty American adjunct lagers. I hate the term "craft beer," but craft beer is so affordable now that you'd have to be mentally retarded not to drink it. Anyone who still drinks Bud is a moron.

>be me
>Work in a trailer on construction sites
>Also live in trailer for 2/3 of the year
>100°F inside
>110°F outside
>Go outside every 20 minutes to take measurements
>For 12 hours every day
>Automated most of the clerical shot
>tfw no nerf fights
>tfw can't even watch anime for fear of co-worker's judgement

Fuck you

This is right. Modern tech is just filled with manchildren.

lol PNW in America has the widest selection of beer and ale in the world.

You are probably one of those eurotrash that think beer that was made 700 years ago and looks like swamp water and tastes like bile is great only at approximately 23c and if it tasted bad it was too cold or too warm. :)

>>Friday afternoon beers while you work

Drinking while you work rules.

>friday afternoon
>he's still at work
>b-but Mr. Shekelstein lets me drink one light beer it's so great guise!
Disgusting

>be me
>work at small electronics repair shop
>boss and me smoke pot while doing board level repair in the backroom
>cops walk in

I'm down for some fun at work, it helps quiet the voice in the back of my head that's telling me I'm stuck here for the rest of my life and there's nothing I can do about it.

Germans drink beer like it's water. I think I drank more there in a week than I had in the last year. American microbrew stuff is also like a rare delicacy to them lol

>everybody walk the dinosaur

We had a visiting German client claim that our beer is "too strong". Germany is turning out to just be a big disappointment.

I don't see how anyone competent would tolerate that garbage at work

if the roomba is anything like your mother, then it will thrive

grampy, Mom says its time you should change your diaper

you have to go back

I’ll have beers 2-3 times a week and you shoot up heroin 2-3 times a week. let’s see how well you doing are in 6 months... heroin/crack/meth are very to handle you fucking mongoloid, most people can get drunk on a regular basis without turning into 24/7 drunkards. most people turn into human garbage when they take the hard drugs road

Sounds onions as fuck

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Because ALL companies perfer paying cheap kid shit over real benifis

There's a Adam ruins everything on it

>Unannounced Nerf fights in the office
if you don't like it just buy a nerf nuke

Spec ops: the unemployment line user edition

Dammit
no clip on YouTube

Ah whatever, you're a tech guy, you know how to torrent

It was worth it
Fuck terry, that pajeet motherfucker
You shot him and no cop can ever take that away from you

Good actually
If heroine was legal (witch it is medically) it would be more acceptable to go too rehab

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