"Hey user, can I use your computer real quick?"

>"Hey user, can I use your computer real quick?"
>"Why do you always leave your computer locked, are you hiding something?"
What do you say?

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Work requires security policies followed. I use this computer for work. I can't let you use it.

better to have it locked and not need it than not locked and need it

>"Why do you always leave your computer locked, are you hiding something?"
yeah, I'm logged into my email and the lot
if it wasn't locked, anyone could just walk by and get in and reset my Amazon password, my bank password, post shit under my name, etc

even if it's not true for you, that's the easiest response to give

I hate this shit. People act like having any barrier to entry is suspicious. Meanwhile they lock up their phones.
Yes bitch, I am hiding something: the personal data on the machine that could be used for nefarious purposes. I’m also keeping you out because you go in and break shit. Last thing I want is a 1243 situation where some hoe decides to wipe out my hard drive and install winblows so she can use MS word.

imagine being so poor that the only machine you have was given to you by your work

This is kind of embarrassing to admit, but to be perfectly honest with you Christina, I have it locked because I have 200 or so candid pictures of you on it. I have been in love with you for years now, but I was too shy to ever admit it.

TERRRRRABYTES OF CHILD PORN.

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No and no busybody roastie.

I don't want my mom to see my milf porn

Maybe she's into young boys.

All my normalfag friends have higher security standards than me
They think if someone steals their shit they won't be able to pull every data from storage because they added a password or pin

this is why you install Linux and rice the fuck out of it. It lets you say "sure, here you go", and then they can't figure out how to use your computer.

>Why do you always leave your shirt on, are you hiding something?
Also, what the fuck are you doing in my room?

Why, yes, I trade child porn

No.

>What do you mean "locked"? My computer isn't locked though o.O And if you have to, then use Chromium in a private window.

Work requires we lock our computer when we walk away, just force of habit.

Then unlock the computer and let her use it since I'm not some kinda pedo autist.

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>madthad.jpg

>user claimed this post was just a joke

SHIT. This actually sounds like a reasonable scenario.

Then they break everything.

>letting someone else use your computer
Fuck no, bitch.

>i3wm
>disabled clicking on workspace buttons
>physical keyboard layout differs from software one
>trackpad deactivated, clit mouse only
I just say sure, switch to a different workspace and watch them not having any clue how to do anything. Then open a browser, watch them struggle to type or use the mouth until they give up because normies don't have patience.

Was in this exact situation with my gf. She wanted to use my laptop while i was at work to transfer some files to her.
I said no, i won't give you the password, i'll transfer the photos when i get home from work. Immediately she becomes angry and suspicious.
I had to explain calmly that i'm not hiding anything, but i simply don't want her using my PC.
Multiple times have i come home to find her watching movies on my laptop, all comfy in bed, the PC on the blanket so hot you could fry an egg on the keyboard, and the fans spinning so fast i was afraid it will fly away.
Her own PC has at least 11 programs that automatically start when you boot up windows, none of which she knows the purpose of. "They were always just there".
She turns the thing off by pressing the physical power button.
She thought it was a good idea to input her instagram username and password to a third party website so she can get "fake likes" or whatever the fuck, i don't use instagram.
The torrent website she uses(yes, i taught her how to download torrents, but the concept of how it works escapes her) has told her the location based off her IP, and to download some random ass software so "she can download safely". She almost did exactly that.
I love her, i really do. But i'm not letting her near my PC.

imagine having a job

Cringe

You would suck her asshole if she asked you, you virgin neckbeard mouthbreathing incel.

vocaroo.com/i/s10es7lpG2JV

Not everyone's as thirsty as you are.

>So retarded she leaves a laptop on a blanket
>Decided that teaching her how to torrent was a good idea
You deserve each other, you're both stupid

In my defense, i figured it was better than me downloading every god damn movie she wanted to watch. At least she is reasonably competent in stealing movies now, so she doesn't have to bother me with it

Need to lock my computer at work for security, force of habit.

>"sure, lemme just log into the guest account"
>"yep, my passwords"

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Huh. I never really noticed it but I guess I do lock it out of habit. It's not like anyone would use it or like I have anything to hide but it's like my car to an extent, I lock it when I'm not around even if there's nothing to steal from the insides.

Speaking of locking your computer - what absolute fucking dickhead at Microsoft thought it was a great idea to put "sign out and close everything without saving it at the click of button" right under "lock"? I've hit it too many times to count, it infuriates me.

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...

i would say "who the fuck are you"

>oh you have steam
>my son loves that game too

Just use Windoшs+L

Only if she lick my hairy asshole.

I keep it locked so my mommy won't find my gay furry porn

why the ever fuck did I fap to this I'm not even into that shit
this was my most confused fap

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This actually made me more uncomfortable than I thought it would.
Maybe I'm not so degenerate

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"Eh just force of habit, roommates used to fuck with my shit in college back in the day."

"Why do lock your phone?"

>No sex

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It also made me extremely uncomfortable, but I uncomfortably masturbated to it, still do t understand why

>things that never happen irl
its common sense that when you leave your pc in public you use a password, you dont want coworkers or students pranking you or removing your shit

Imagine being so dumb you haul two computers everywhere you go.
I have some contracts there, so I can sign you in on the guest account

Your comeback sucked. I'm kind of sad. You're a retard.

I've got a GF similar to that, but fuck, half of this is your fault.

>GF comes up to me
>'honey, my PC is slow'
>take a look
>10 programs on autostart
>win10
>2011 laptop
>ask her about each one
>for "dunno", turn them off if I know them or impact is "high"
>for the ones she knows, turn them off and tell her she doesn't lose anything and she can start them anyway.
>still don't let her near my PC since i3wm, qutebrowser and clitmouse are the only things on my X200

Once, she even typed an e-mail out in Vim, she did breddy well apart from the fact I had to watch for her leaving Insert mode.

Sure, I'll just give you a hand, I have my shit pretty autistically set up. As for the password, I have kids in my house, so I'd prefer them not fucking up my shit.

Happened.

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Meet you there looser.

Doesn't matter, had sex.

Biatch, I fucking look at the most depraved, hard-core porn on that thing. Why wouldn't I lock that shit down?

Just say its your porn. And make it sound like your joking. Unironically this has worked for me. They think im joking. But i have porn.

Just say it's your porn, but actually mean it, without making it look like a joke

Kek sure why not. I have accepted my social skills are pretty shit so i dont care much if someone thinks me an asshole or weirdo. Im not fat and i dont have beard on my 2nd fat-composed-neck so my self esteems pretty neutral. It would just be funny in retrospect

based

If you ever had roommates that you were friends with, you'd instinctively have lock and key on anything that your logins saved. God forbid someone changes my interests from female to male on nosebook.

>Can I use your computer?

use your phone faggot

>calling a girl a faggot

>200

Sure, just use the HTPC computer, because I have a policy regarding my personal computer, where only I can use it due to security concerns.

Thank you miss :)

this, use a guest account

Calm down Okarin

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based

>She turns the thing off by pressing the physical power button.

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loli porn
back off, cunt
mom, gimme tendies

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Windows?

Yes, I'm a hitman

i don't want people i don't allow accessing my personal account, you are correct.

No

>ask her to show me her messenger or whatsapp
>she will refuse
>say "are you hiding something?"
>after 5 seconds she will realize I just played her at her own game
>say "this is why"

Worked atleast 3 times, normie brains are so easy to get confused.

>"Why do you always leave your computer locked, are you hiding something?"

That`s Windows feature that automatically locked itself after certain interval.

They are kinda right at least if they are encrypting their shit.

>>"Hey user, can I use your computer real quick?"
no
>>"Why do you always leave your computer locked, are you hiding something?"
can I browse all the texts and photos on your phone? no? oh okay

the windows logo button between ctrl and alt + L

>What do you say?
Who is this bitch and why does she want my laptop? I never lock my laptop and noone ever touches it because they are decent people that respect privacy if someone tried to pull shit like in OP they'd be out of my life before you say bitch.

I am hiding plenty of things. What are you, a snoop?

>he has to make excuses for his behavior because a girl asked him
virgin spotted

Here sweetheart, use my tablet/laptop.

>All my naughty stuff is on the desktop anyway.

GDPR

kek'd and cried a little since I live in Germany und article 13 is going to happen...

fml

>wait... What!?
>How long you've been standing behind me!?
>I don't know you!
>who the fuck are you!
>you think you can approach random stranger, invade his personal space, watch him doing personal stuff on his personal laptop
>and ASK OF YOU CAN USE HIS COMPUTER!?
>ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME!?
Unless I have key logger installed:
>of course you can
>here, I'll open you private session on browser so no data will be saved *sekret keykombo starts key logger in background*

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>vocaroo.com/i/s10es7lpG2JV
any video?

Not letting anyone spread their finger grease over my clean keyboard.

>Hey thot, can I come into your house at night real quick?
>Why do you always leave your house doors locked, are you hiding something?
What does she say?

I'm not hiding anything, I just want to prevent people from shitting up my work whenever I go to the bathroon to take a shit myself.

you should always have a guest account setup
,

>starts using the browser
>no matter what letter she starts typing some kind of degenerate pornsite will be the first recommendation

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put dick pics on desktop and let her use it

>Why do you always leave your computer locked, are you hiding something?
Yes. My password. I didn't give you permission to touch my shit.

I mean, sure, but what does that have to do with someone using the computer?

No you can't and you won't, you've got your own.

I'm assuming you uploaded this and didn't record in real-time.

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"Do you keep your legs open all day?"
>not having a backup chrome install for normies to use if you get into this sort of situation
baka

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