To all the desktop computer owners out there, that have their computer chained to a desk

I have an oculus rift and a nui plush lovedoll. Download Honeyselect VR with all mods preloaded and fuck literally any girl you want

>You lay down
Why

There was a image illustrating the correct way to masturbate at your desk but I don't have it any more. Basically you recline in your chair.

>fapping on the toilet with the phone in one hand
>not just stripping down to your boxers, edging like crazy to whatever it is you want to fap to, and heading toward the bathroom sink once you're ready to bust

Attached: allsmiles.png (295x216, 73K)

>being such a low test faggot that your cum lands anywhere within a foot of you
good luck having children, fairy

Attached: 07c.jpg (362x470, 61K)

>Not holding your cum with your foreskin and then casually walking to the toilet or shower

get a tablet with tent-mode, faggot

>not just drinking your cum

I hear it has a lot of protein

you only do this when you still live at your parenthood

In high school during the summer I used to lock my door and start fapping to cam sluts at around 9 or 10pm when everyone went to sleep. Would edge for an hour or two. Lay down on my bed and just have it on and watch it till I fell asleep, then I would wake up multiple times and edge for 30 minutes or so until i finally had one last session where I would cum into my garbage can because it would literally shoot out extremely fast for over 30 seconds. There was so much fucking cum holy shit.

>fapping

Attached: 1512536716365.gif (500x625, 1.78M)

I almost only fap to doujinshi at this point, which I can just read from my phone.

>Denying the only sexual pleasure you'll have for a meme

Well I just but my bad dragon dildo on a chair and bounce on it when I use desktop. Of course laptop+bed is more comfy tho.

*put not but

>he doesn't realize how ridiculously easy it is to get laid in 2018
women are just as horny as men and they watch the same depraved shit online, you don't even have to look great to get laid.

>3DPD

this is the dumbest, most delusional and bait-worthy post i heard all year, gj

>being brainwashed to the point that you can't even enjoy following the absolute most basic instinct humans have

women are primarily attracted to confidence, not looks.

sluts are not women, user
not everyone wants herpes here

>every woman that wants to have sex is a slut
so how about your mom

your world view is straight out of the 40's
have fun never getting to fuck

I re-soldered the motor from a Remington massager and stuck it inside a PVC pipe; so it basically vibrates. I sticky tape it to my dick and adjust the vibration as needed; incredible orgasms. When i was 17 I engineered the motor from a rotating fan to give me blow jobs'; broke is because the torque was too much. From sticking hair conditioner inside latex gloves to saline-ing my balls; I've done it all.

>I was looking into mounting a monitor above my bed and use a controller that acts as a mouse, but it’s surprising hard to do. You’d think they would have this down by now. So I’m not really sure what to do.

The steam link is off 95% right now (less than 3€). Steam controller on 33% off.

37.61€ for both and you get a controller with two touchpads that acts as a mouse, and the link has an HDMI output to your mounted monitor.

Of course you'd be remotely streaming your PC, so you might want to turn off its screen and speakers while you wank.

mom my only had me because her parents wanted a grandchild and for her not to be lonely

also i did have sex, it was ok. but she was a prostitute and i felt really sorry for her afterward. its really not worth it if you dont love the person (faking it is cringe too)

>all of these people who fap at their computer chairs and get jizz all over them
Yeah, no, not going to spend $1,200 on a Steelcase Gesture and then get jizz all over the fabric seat.

This is why desktop + laptop combo is the best, laptop for when you travel or want to browse the web while in bed, desktop for primary PC use.

Attached: steelcase-gesture.jpg (500x473, 20K)

You cum in your hand and then wash your hand dumbass.

Or if you're smarter, buy a fucking onahole. They're cheap and re-usable.

You spent 1200 dollars on a fabric fucking chair? Holy shit lol

Get a longer monitor arm then you can sit in any recliner while you are at your desktop. If typing with the keyboard on your lap is uncomfortable then swing it over to sit in a regular office chair

>2018
>Not knowing about shit jugs

Got a 20% discount. 12 year warranty, proper ergonomics, well built. Much better than a $300 chair you throw out after a year or two or getting Sciatica.

>Put long towel on chair and let it go to floor
>Watch porn and sit in chair
>Jerk it as desired, use towel to catch mess and clean up
>Wash towel in laundry, repeat

It's not brain surgery.

Who here just cums on toilet paper and then just throw it away?

Damn dude, yesterday, i made a tech related thread and was deleted in 15 mins.
Now we are talking about how and where to fap and everyone is contributing to the conversation.
Took me years to realize how stupid this place is. I deserve it.

I've had the same girlfriend for 15 years.
If I ever feel the need to fap, I just do a quicky on the computer in my chair and cum into a napkin.

it's worth it if you just wanna have sex with a nice body without love though

>not fapping into own mouth
>not fapping into bowl and injecting cum into self via syringe
>not having a syrian/south east asian orphan girl clean up your cum with a Mister Clean™ Magic Eraser sponge
>not letting your dog lick it up

Attached: polar bear walking.gif (200x200, 91K)

>tfw steam link isn't available in canuckistan

I don't need to fap wtf are you talking about

>magic eraser your dick
this is how you get chemical burns

Congratulations.

Nice technology thread, faggots.

> not removing your genitals surgically so this shit never bothers you

B-but there's computer use involved

> not simply standing naked in rush hour traffic jerking it into a rain culvet or footpath guttering.

>not restoring foreskin

h-how ? is that possible ?

It is. I used to be cut so tight that erections were sometimes painful, and my skin would tear if I tried to masturbate without lube. I restored my foreskin, and after about two years I had full flaccid coverage. Now my glans is covered when I'm flaccid, and my foreskin can be pulled over my head when I'm erect.

This is a good resource if you're interested: reddit.com/r/foreskin_restoration

>laptop on my chest

does it not burn?

>still spent 1k
>"warranty" on a chair
I'll bet my no-name hand-me-down random office chair is going to last longer and get better use than your muh premium ergonomics one

I use a folded in half printer paper so when I shoot it hits the paper and I can see the amount clearly