Jow Forums's Time Machine

You're given the power to change and create events in the past. What do you do to make sure Jow Forums things are better in the present we live in?

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Kill Bill

I like Tarantino movies too

Go back in time, find the fish that Steve Jobs descended from & kill it.

Make sure Zuckerberg never gets into Harvard.

kill alexander the """"great"""

Kill Odacker and help Romulus Augustulus reforming the Roman Empire

pleb

Smother Pottering in his crib.

u

Force Trolltech to LGPLv2 Qt from day one and GPL the dev tools. That allows the *nix world to standardize on a single toolkit and desktop in the mid 90s instead of bikeshedding for 20 years.

Kill everyone involved in the creation of crypto

Kill muhammad

All Jews and Christians in the Roman Empire die off into a fringe religion, while paganism in the Empire rules supreme

This. Yes.

Even better. We'd be exploring the galaxy by now.

Do nothing. Because anything that is done would have unintended consequences.

>Kill someone who died 1400 years ago

I'd send me a message to start mining bitcoins back in 2010.

>You're given the power to change and create events in the past.
I'd change my conception.

Go back
A long time ago
Take part in russian revolution
Establish Russian anarcho-communism. Or maybe make a chain of events that will make paris commune exist longer.
Western europeans, and soon the world follows the switch to spookless society

Therefore, there will be no need for stalledman to make a bloated version of unix, no need for jews to invent crypto, no need for bill to extend proprietarianism to software as it was killed before. After that, maybe push for plan 9 to replace unix and show most people the light of minimalist software. Only then Jow Forums would be free from spooks and bloat (software manifestation of spooks)

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Serial Experiments Lain

you're silly to believe that Romulus could reform Rome. Rome was lost to Christianity, without the old gods Rome had nothing to stand on.

To make Jow Forums better I would say removal of Bill Gates would make Jow Forums a better place. Everyone running UNIX? Sign me up.

anarcho communism is a spook

kys

Help Brendan Eich embed Scheme in the Netscape Navigator before Java had a chance to take off, effectively preventing JavaScript from ever being created and making Lisp relevant for the years to come.

>thinking he's going to unspook anything whilst he's spooked himself
never gonna make it, my property

Prevent TA lawrence (of Arabia) from dying. No WW2. Empires stay intact, thus all poo remains contained.
Europe sails its own course instead of being led by USA culture and tech wise.
USA looks at Europe and decides to fix itself. Retroactively implement 1795 naturalization act and starts remigration program for every non-white.
Since jews aren't white, we don't get facebook, google, Porn, Tinder, sjw culture and diversity shitting up our entire society.

Teach the Ancient Greeks enough science to start an industrial revolution.

>we don't get ... sjw culture
You'd need to keep the Protestants out for that. Oh wait.