How do I get a job at the NSA, or really any government job? The pay and benefits seems pretty good...

I never said there would be explosions and of course if you were in the pentagon you'd be significantly safer than those in the field, but come on, it's still the pentagon; heavily guarded or not, still a target. You can be an army doctor or chef and you'd still be a primary target when compared to a civilian.

>somebody else fucks up
>as a result acess info youre not supposed to
pfft nothin personnel kiddo
>spend rest of life as a traitor in prison

Do you not see how what you're saying makes literally no sense? What do you think, every single person that works in the NSA has access to the highest classified infomation, directly from the POTUS himself, and gets follows everywhere by chinese ninjas when they leave work? Come on now
When has this happened ever? Anyone that's ever gone to prison for anything like that leaked on purpose

I'm talking guilty by association, moron, do you not understand what that is? "Literally no sense". Top ranking honcho or floor scrubber at that high of a level of organization aka the top, bar to nearly none, everyone involved has a level of responsibility pushed onto them. Even the janitor knows the fucking layout of the institution, and that alone would be enough for the instruction to kill yourself if somehow abducted.

Study CS or Math and apply, they have in house development programs or something. I was going to be interviewed for Cryptanalysis job but didn't end up doing it.
Doesn't seem worth bothering these days desu.

Well I'm sure there's the expectation of "hey don't be a retard and talk about what you do at work with the local bar whore haha", but you're claiming that people have this target on their backs when it's likely whatever they do know isn't even that interesting to begin with. You're acting like every NSA employee is a highly trained assassin or some special ops spy or something. And really, the fucking janitor? What's the name of the screenplay you're writing?

do you really want to work for these fucks

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Why would they want your fucking transcripts if you already got the job?
>Hey you got the job pal
>Oh wait nvm you're a dumbass lol

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That's nothing but your own claims, don't put words in my mouth. I said "life in constant danger", not "life in imminent death". A factory worker can get flayed alive if not careful around a lathe but they're still used regularly, he too is in constant danger. And yes, the janitor. Implausible and unlikely, but you cannot deny by merely working there he knows far more than someone like you. I never ever said that joining was an instant deathwish, so stop thinking that was my intention when you're clearly jumping to hyperbole.

Got an offer from a three-letter place after college. Turned it down for 20k+ more in private sector
Pay/benefits are terrible

why would you wanna work there? you'll be under constant suspicion and you'll be suspicious yourself of everyone, and if you fuck up bad, you'll be vilified, fired and won't work again.

if you wanna hack, get 7 proxies.

What could the janitior possibly know that would be of any use to anyone? Have you seen what the average janitior looks like? Half of them barely speak fucking english for god sake. All I'm saying is this seems like a gross exaggeration here

Everyone IIT talking out their ass without experience working in a government job let alone working at the NSA.

It's not that I "want" to work there, just seems like an interesting career and I'm curious what it would actually take and what it'd be like
What's your experience?

Sigh, it was an example to convey that such an extraordinary group (name an organization that supercedes the fbi nsa whatever) every single role is considered and screened. My original claim is that by joining them, there will always be the innate danger through virtue of what a position entails, as evidenced by the other posters positing being suspicious of even your coworkers.
>Have you seen what the average janitior looks like?
I'm not so unreasonable as to see where you're coming from as to think I'm exaggerating, but again, ridiculous level of authority this group has. 'Average' does not exist in that realm. An 'average' janitor would not be there.
I wasn't even warning op explicitly that he's sticking his neck out, I was just offering the perspective that once you know the secret handshake, you are now a possible source for others to glean the knowledge of said handshake, forcibly or not.
And to be clear, that too is just meant to prove a point and may not actually be real.

mhm, bastion of authority on the matter over here. Neither am I, but I'm just as qualified as you are to say you're just as full of bullshit.

It's the janitor, THE FUCKING JANITOR, we're talking about here. Do you think they have a covert navy seal sniper in camouflage wiping down the toilets? Again, your "average" janitior barely speaks fucking english, most likely dropped out of high school, and barely has a pot to piss in, let alone knows anything worth jack fucking shit. What would the janitior possibly know that would be of value? "Yeah the head director's secretary's secretary takes a shit like seven times a day" WOW ground breaking stuff there

Are you even actually reading these exchanges? You're painting all these colorful images and detailed backstories, sure you're not writing the script? Let me tell ya kid, it's a pretty tasteless and low quality one, stick to working on your Janitor Juan fanfics you apparently have a fascination with. Stay mad faggot, your triggering can only stay so fresh, lel.

>I was just pretending to be an idiot XD
It's probably pass your bedtime anyway kiddo

FUCK OFF NSA

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I worked for the NSA though college in the Stokes program, it was legit. I can't tell you anything about my job but if you are considering that program it's amazing. Basically free college if you want to work for them for 6 years after.

lol this fed got touchy.

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>It's not that I "want" to work there, just seems like an interesting career and I'm curious what it would actually take and what it'd be like
shit pay, polygraphs, constantly under surveillance, constantly have to file reports, constantly have to tell your superior about your personal life...

are you retarded? only idiots would wanna work in a place like that.

So the same as private sector I see

Worked in Federal gov in contractor and GS for 3 letter agencies. 10 years experience, 6 figure income, 37.5 hr work weeks, great insurance and pension, all holidays and 4 weeks of vacation every year plus I have about 2 months of sick leave accrued.. My work life balance is great, I've had offers for 15-25k more a year in pay but considering I'd have to spend an extra 8+ hours a week at an office or 400hrs a year extra? No thanks.

who's your favorite pony

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No, less hostile. By a lot.

depends, what are your butthole measurements? You've started dilating already right?

I'm into squidgirls instead

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There's a joke that nobody ever really leaves their agency. In the private sector you can walk away. There's a huge fucking difference.

I'd like to know what that means in practice for somebody who was in engineer type position. Its definitely true for ones with higher ranks as they make appearances on tv, shilling for the agency.

plus you can retire at 40 after 20 years of service. Or is that just the military and GS has to put in a few more years?

you're retarded. Anyone who works in a secure facility has a clearance, even the janitor. Otherwise how do you know north rus-chinea didn't send them in to gather intel?

And if you have a clearance you may have access to secret/top secret info. Look up the definition of top secret info. You think that doesn't make you a massive target compared to your average citizen? Because it does. Granted, this will likely never affect your life as no one knows you have said clearance and even if they did, too much effort to get you when they can't be sure you have anything useful to them, but you absolutely are a target and if you get a clearance you're told to lie about your job to those who don't know you and not broadcast your job on social media for this very reason.

fuck you think this is? James Bond? What do you think they do? "I'm sorry analyst Johnson but we cannot allow you to leave. *cocks gun*"

lmao get real. No one leaves because of bennies and the promise of a pension.

How can a Polish student immigrate and work for the NSA after university?
We are NATO allies, at the very least.

You don't

Why not

They don't hire foreign nationals unless it's for janitor or dishwasher. Are you applying to be the janitor or dishwasher?

>He genuinely thinks life is a Tom Cruise movie

You really think getting an above top secret clearance and eyes on the highest levels of government intelligence and subvertive defensive systems means you will ever get to retire and live out your days in solitude? Nope, the reality is yearly polygraph tests to make sure you aren’t losing it, feds with access to your (mandatory) extensive physicals to make sure you aren’t going to get dementia or Alzheimer’s and accidentally give your kids or your carer info on this-shit-will-get-you-capped Intel or projects, vans and sedans and tapped phones and your entire life, siphoned into a computer database to make sure that the knowledge inside your head dies with you. And if you break the vow, if you betray their code of secrecy, if no one wants to go and actually take you out, you go into a black site cell in the middle of a country no one has ever heard well within razor wire fences where no one will ever ever find you, until you die. Or kill yourself.

If you think this isn’t true, I guarantee you the reality is even worse.

Actually janitors for the federal government have to have a clearance and take training too

Hmm, no.

Did Tom Cruise try out for your movie yet?

The nsa was at my unis career fair and it was spooky af. The people were weird grossly self righteous. You have to have the "I'm fighting bad guys every day!" mentality to survive and feel good about what you're doing in that job.

I’m still waiting for him to return my call

>I've read about this from my mom's basement. It must be true11!!!11

don't call them, they'll call you

So its like every other job then

Go to their website, look for the "careers" section and send an application with a resume and cover letter.

lmfao not even remotely true. I know plenty of people with ts/sci+poly who let that shit run out because they went private sector and didn't need it anymore.

"oh geez I know info that could cause serious harm to the govt" yeah you and like literally a million other people big fuckin whoop just don't talk about it

Do you hate America? Are you brown, Jewish, or transgendered?

Congrats, you’re hired.

>find Hillary’s pizza stash
>report it to your boss
>get killed
That’s how.

If you can get a security clearance you’re 90% there.

Nah you're going to end up getting tortured 1000ft under ground everyday for the rest of your life if you ever leave a government job user, didn't you see 007?

Do you think we're still fighting WW2 or something? This is the absolute most ridiculous level of paranoia I have ever seen. I can see getting yearly physical, which is completely understandable because what kind of employer of any kind would want unfit/crazy people working for them, but tapping phones and personal PCs? And who's monitoring all of these hundreds of thousands, if not millions of people? And then who's monitoring those people doing the monitoring? Do you see now how what you're saying is retarded as fuck?