>close the blinds
>put on my guy fawkes mask and fingerless gloves
>open my Monster Energy
>boot up my LIBREBOOT KALI LINUX ENCRYPTED SEVEN PROXY HACKER MACHINE
>hear hellish noise as my cooler fan blades cut through the layers of dust thicker than the smegma crust under my foreskin
>after 15 minutes and two hard reboots I finally see my loli porn splash screen on my dual 480i CRTs
>system start sound replaced with full No Love Deep Web x 1hr Lucky Star Opening loop mashup
>all three of my vintage 1980s Model M keyboards ready
>yeah baby, it's time to hack
>start typing code as fast as I can
>can't see shit on my old as fuck flickering screens
>Matrix symbols screen filter doesn't help
>nevermind, I don't need to see, I remember everything I type
>jet sounds coming from my PC intensify as my processor tried to keep up with the pace at which I produce deadly hacker code
>all programmed in zeros and ones for the maximum optimization
>sweat runs down my face as I finish coding my own TOR darknet browser
>I do it every time I use the Internet to prevent CIA from locating me
>it's done
>I can finally duckduckgo "how to hack the government" tutorial on youtube
>the screams of thousands tormented souls coming from my l33t 1990s beige case covered in Richard Stallman and Kevin Mitnick stickers stop
>I look around in confusion
>*beep*
>*beep bob boob beep*
>oh no
>so the hardware backdoor is real
Close the blinds
>I jump back to grab my magnets but it's too late
>the backdoor is open
>three flurescent CIA niggers and Bill Gat*s jump out my floppy drive bay
>not too fast
>I open one of my piss bottles and spray it all over my extension cord
>all of my electronics and electric heater are plugged to this baby
>just as the very first drop touches the uninsulated part it explodes
>two niggers down but the third one managed to jump behind my katana rack in time
>Bill G*tes walks out of the ball of fire like it's nothing
>I jump out of the window
>I'll rather die than let you get me
>it's first floor
>both of my legs are broken but I manage to crawl to my mum's Opel Corsa
>MUUUUUUM, we need to run
>MUUUUUUUUUUM
>it's too late, the fire I started already has already blocked the entrance to my house
>I guess it's a goodbye mum
>I take a bus to my nearest hacker hideout
>till the next time, Bill
>till the next time
>hear hellish noise as my cooler fan blades cut through the layers of dust thicker than the smegma crust under my foreskin
A thread died for this
it was a shit thread anyway
i see your mistake bro you are supposed to use hooktube its what my hacker friends say they use
Like pottery
So you want to be a hacker? It ain't no easy task kiddo. You should just stop now. Don't even try.
The most you can probably ever do is click buttons on LOIC and buy crypter packs on Nulled. Even
Cain is going to fly over your brain. Do you know how fucking hard hacking is? Pentesting is not for
the light-hearted. Are you willing to learn and understand a bunch of programming langauges? Python, Ruby,
and Javascript can probably be learned in days. Maybe a few months for Java. But C++? Haskell? C? Assembly?
And those probably are not even enough. On top of that, are you willing to get comfortable in a Linux system?
It's quite different from the clicky pictures you have on your RGB covered Windows gaming system. Are you
willing to learn sofftware engineering, OS development, networking, reverse-engineering, malware analysis,
exploit-writing, fuzzing, data structures, and all the other topics required to become a proficient pentester? Are you
smart enough to know how to perform a social engineering attack? Are you willing to learn Mestasploit, Aircrack,
Hashcat, Ettercap, and all the other tools a pentester needs to know? Or are you just going to download and run
wifiHAX_n0t_V1RuS.exe? Are you willing to understand computers to the hardware level? Are you willing to spend
years mastering and perfecting your skills? Are you willing to spend time everyday to stay updated with current
pentesting news? Just stay in your little gaming world, kiddo. Go show off to your friends and DDOS some minecraft
servers or click on open IPs in Shodan. You don't have the drive to become a real hacker. You never will.
Stop watching "MR. Robot" and other shows/movies that glamorize so-called hacking.
You'll probably never be a real hacker anyways, just a poser who's following something that's become trendy.