Resume/CV thread

fucking terrible it looks incredibly cluttered

>1 day if my life
what the fuck nigger

also shit.

Hahaha this cant be fucking real. The bars over to the right hahahah fuck im dead

At least there's less competition for the rest of us

>"Night life"
*SNAP*

im not hiring him because he didnt maximize his creativity slider

exactly. that's what employers want, someone who can get comfortable with code that isn't their own

I had bad grades. Make a stellar Github. If push comes to shove volunteer bitch work for some random startup on Angel List. Just brace for spamming a lot of resumes and getting very few call backs. Once you get a first job no one cares about grades anymore anyway

Threads like these make me sad because I laugh at some of the cringey shit people pad out their resume with and then I remember I don't really have any substantial projects on mine because I'm a lazy faggot who just played video games in college instead of coming up with interesting shit to do so I'm literally worse off.

Just gonna go make a commit to the linux kernel because its easy and I know what Im doing

can someone post a latex template for resumes im too autistic to set one up

You're not ready for a job.

Post urs then.

it reminds me that my inevitable suicide is nearer than i thought

>im too autistic to set one up
I'm pretty sure you're not as it takes autism to use latex. Plus real unix men use troff.

When you do Pajeet-level stuff but think you are David Copperfield

Is it normal to put your photo and physical address on your resume? I typically only put my email and maybe my phone number, nothing else.

i am very very drunk fuck u nigger

Attached: nigger.png (3400x4400, 1.09M)

should I put my jabberid next to my email?
I host my own so it's the same address.
nevermind, I think I will keep it.

>latex on your resume.

How about this, eh?

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It really depends on the country.
In certain places it's a major no-no, in other places it can help.
The photo is irrelevant unless you're a hot chick, as it will make your resume stand out (but won't guarantee you a job obviously).
Address can be useful to know if you're from the area or live across the country, but no need for street address, etc. maybe just the city (and "willing to relocate" if you are).

>not latexing your resume
fuck uo

Not being a Fulbright Research Fellow kinda fucked up my life plan.

Why don't I get calls from the jobs I apply to?

Attached: SecretResume.png (3400x2200, 645K)

do you have a license to be redistributing a derivative of his or her work

a cv or resume obviously made using latex gets a pass from me, it often indicates someone who wouldn't cope well in a job outside academia

how do i know this was a poo poo

because your resume is too fucking long nigger
cut that shit down to onw page in length unless you;re applying to academic positions where they actually wcare about your full CV

This is from a third-world Asian country, right? Something like Sri Lanka.

>i'm a roleplaying faggot online because i don't have any actual authority or power in real life
yeah, we know, faggot

Malaysia. Which is sad, because they focus on teaching English here, so this is very bad by local standards.

I hire people.
When I see shit like "Executive Director" for something like the local soup kitchen, I cringe.

Do you hang out on econjobrumors.com? I used to troll them many years ago.

t. sheltered academic who couldn't cut it in the real world

>econjobrumors.com
Is that anything like wallstreetoasis? now that was a strange website

>Why don't I get calls from the jobs I apply to?
What kind of job are you applying for?
Your experience is all over the place with some resume-padding crap, teaching, programming, etc.
Focus on what's important for the job you want. Do you want to do policy stuff for a think tank? Programming/big data crap? This would lead to different resumes.

>t. sour grapes who is jealous of people doing something he could never envision himself doing

wallstreetoasis is full of Chinese undergrads who want to be Gordon Gekkos.
econjobrumors.com is more like Jow Forums for economists. It's an user board where PhD econ student go vent about stuff.
I was not a PhD econ student but there was good trolling over there.

I am pretty jealous of this resume. You're everything I ever wanted to be.
Can you taste my jealousy

Like sitting in some office, slaving away for years writing papers and painfully proofreading and formatting them before they go rot in some journal, getting 2 or 3 citations in their lifetime if you are lucky?

Most academics have an unreasonably high opinion of what they are doing.

I'm in college. What can I be doing right now to not look like a bitch to future potential employers?

Nothing just lie later

>I am pretty jealous of this resume. You're everything I ever wanted to be.
It's the CV of someone who will end up working in a bank sitting next to Pajeets and Changs doing the same job for the same money despite graduating from terrible schools

NEET here, what words can I use to bullshit extra hard on a CV?, within reason obviously.

No education & self taught so my only things I'll list are my github projects & what I know.

I'm terrible at playing myself up, I've always been a "let my work talk for itself" kind of person but I realise nobody will give a shit to look through 20 github repos, I doubt they'll even look through 1 or even spend 30 seconds on 1 of 1000 resumes anyway.

Idk how people write this shit, "I made a website that does x y z, using x language" turns into "I crafted a modern and sleek customized website, using bespoke modern technologies and the functional programming paradigm and latest technological advances to empower my website and push it to it's maximum potential!" even though it's literally just a todo app that they copy/pasted from youtube.

I just don't get how people manage it, it's so degrading to lie and act so pathetic, and bullshitting feels the worst.

It depends on the industry.
In tech forget about the resume, and train to do whiteboard exercises because that's the reality of how people get hired.

>UGA

Oh right, that is my ~full~ resume that I cut from when I apply for different jobs. Definitely a good note though, since I have been being lazy and just including fucking all of it lately. Thanks!

Should I not include my leadership experiences in college? I always thought it showed I didn't just jerk off and eat ramen in bed lol

You're definitely right. I can stratify my resume into three different ones based on the types of jobs I am applying for.

Honestly, a problem I run into is that I want all of those sort of jobs, so I end up specializing toward none of them. This was an excellent critique and I appreciate it.

most academics live a conmfy life and don't give a shit that you look down on them

If your objective is as you claim, you're better off including a portfolio not just a resume.

>No education & self taught so my only things I'll list are my github projects & what I know.
lel i'm the opposite, graduated from uni with good grades but no project portfolio because i have no hobbies at all

>Thanks!
no problem; good luck fellow user

just signed you up for chili's rewards

If you've been a NEET for a long time, I would suggest you focus on getting employment first at any job, rather that focus on getting a particular job. Employers are wary of hiring people who haven't been "vetted" because it's risky. That's why they prefer people who have employment history.

you may find necessary asceticism comfy, I wouldn't

I've hired people, so let me explain a bit how it works.
First, keep in mind that your CV will go through various people, technical or not.
In many cases you will go through recruiters who are completely fucking oblivious to anything technical, but want to see the right keywords.

So if you've started some web project in 2012 and updated it in 2018, just do:

ProjectBlabla.com, 2012 - 2018
I used

Because the clueless recruiter will look for stuff like git, Spring, etc.

You might think it does not matter, but here how it works. The recruiter will typically ask the developers at the company what technologies they use. Devs don't really care too much and they'll answer whatever they use, not wondering why the recruiter asks the question in the first place. So to them, git or bash is going to be as important as Java or C++. They don't know the difference.

So that's the first stage you have to clear.
But then your CV will also be read by tech people. In which case you want to focus on showing that you have a CLUE. So write a sentence or two to explain why you did things properly. No one cares that you did a pottery website or a donkey simulation, what matters is how you did it. Did you use a database? Which one and why? Why did you pick that language? Don't write a fucking novel, but show that you have a clue about stuff.

That's not all you need to know, but should get you started.

Lesson learned to not apply only to three universities, user.

Oh shoot, does this mean I can graduate from terrible schools and make fucking bank as a quant?

>UGA
BUGA

My resume shall be "I used Java and a shitty in-house framework because my manager wouldn't let me use anything better" ad infinitum, then

>So write a sentence or two to explain why you did things properly.

I should probably do this, although I use the same things quite a lot maybe that's a sign I should change things up once in a while just to learn new things.

Doxx yourself: the thread

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Pretty much. They even have non-academic, ten-week style courses to train quants nowadays.
You're not going to "make fucking bank", you'll have a decent white collar salary for doing typical white collar job like doing data cleaning in Python (the reality for 99.9% of "quants"). The ones making banks are bankers.

Or you can graduate from elite PhD programs to make about 25% more in compensation than those grunts. Up to you to "do the math" and see if it's worthwhile. From my observation, the ones who did that (PhD/physics PhD) did it not because they wanted to be "quants" earning 25% more than people with bachelors in CS, but because they loved those disciplines, and were happy to find that they could actually get a job outside of academia.

I'm not even sure about the 25% premium to be honest.

That qualifies you for most development jobs then.

Here's my phonepost, I'm going to update it with more academic info like doing research and GPA. Or change the format to make better use of that side space

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NOOOO!
If you use a set of technology and they work, you want to keep using them. That would be a good answer. Gratuitously changing stuff for the sake of it will get you nowhere.

Although it depends on where you want to work. Most businesses are conservative. They're maintaining a big old stack of software and don't want kids to rewrite parts in Scala, Kotlin or whatever the fuck kids use (30+ old boomer here) every other week.

On the other hand, if you do web consulting type of stuff, you will want to play with many different technologies, because this shit keep changing.

That's a nice resume user
Maybe flip your education in the right order though

>full stack / devops
so sick of these fucking meme descriptors

>phd in maths

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fucking boring

wow ty~

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i always do research on my interviewer and the higher-ups at the company beforehand so no matter how shitty my resume is, as long as it's attached to a large container of food they like (like a box of gourmet doughnuts, a case of local beer, etc.) i always end up getting hired.

>self-motivated
>ability to adapt...
>experience with...
>able to...

These keywords/descriptions are overused. You should try differentiating yourself from other people.

Are those legit? I should look into those since I feel pretty impotent in my goal of getting a PhD RN

>weaknesses
>perfectionist

Typically you need an elite PhD to even get an interview if you are applying with no relevant experience.

The bootcamp courses are great if you are someone who has come through the system and got a break. I know of a guy who got into a bank as a developer and ended up a quant this way.

But, I completely concur with your statement about people in these PhD programs. For these people, the academic system just works for them. It doesn't mean that they will go from strength to strength if they take some high pressure, high difficulty real world job like quant stuff. So, anyone with a shit CV doesn't need to be discouraged here.

I recently got a well paying job that I enjoy so I can stop giving a shit about my resume for a good long while.

Thanks for suffering through the job hunt with me Jow Forums. Best of luck to you all.

I have friends who did a PhD. It's fucking grueling. Do it if you love the discipline so much that you would do research on your own anyway, because you absolutely love math.
I know guys like that, even after their PhD they do fun math puzzles and write blog posts about them.

But if you're doing a PhD for a job it's the worst possible thing you can do. The reward/effort ratio is completely abysmal. It's sad because I see many people who go this route, convinced they'll become a banker making millions, while they will end up as code grunts sitting next to guys having a bachelor (or a fucking associate degree in my case).

If you want to be a scientist, get a PhD. If you want to make money, become a banker. Bankers are not quant genuises, they need to know how to align margins in Excel and talk like a man and not like a dweeb in front of a client.

i should be a banker. I'm fucking great with excel.

If you are so great to the point that you are a nerd you cannot be a banker unfortunately.

God damn it.

It's fine. Senior manager for the 3 years now.

How boned am I, lads?
Fields strategically omitted, of course.

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What is this arrow thing?

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A typo that snuck its way in there. I noticed it right after I submitted the image too

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protobufs aren't datastructures they're a serialization format.

Call it web development not internet programming

Honestly, as someone that hires people for a living, a resume is second to a Linkedin or employee referral in today's market. I'd say 80% of the people that come through my office are from one of those two. The continued breakdown is probably another 10% from recent grads(cheap labor), and the remaining 10% is through traditional application means. I can tell you that i have looked at zero GutHub pages and could care less about personal projects. If anything, I have seen people's GitHubs rule them out of a position more than get them a position.

>UChi
Fug
I got a chance to go there on a sponsor for economics. Professor wanted to recommend me but I said no cuz I wanted to do math. Also obligatory
>Math Ph.D
Fucking nice

I graduated from Georgia Tech's CS program about half a year ago with a 3.8 GPA and have had no success getting even interviews.

I personally feel that my problem is that I have no experience or projects on my resume aside from the ones I did in class. I refused to do any internships during my college summers.

But even so, I thought that a graduate of Georgia Tech with a high GPA would at least get some attention notwithstanding lack of experience.

Attached: my-resume.png (1390x1306, 348K)

>If anything, I have seen people's GitHubs rule them out of a position more than get them a position.
How?

As someone very involved in the hiring process at my company and as someone who frequently converses with a friend who hires at a different company, I can say that your experience is nowhere near universal and likely isn't all that common. All software companies I'm aware of absolutely look at Githubs (mine is how I got my current job) and prioritize traditional applications over LinkedIns (though not necessarily over referrals)

You're either an odd (and in my opinion bad) hiring manager, or flat out lying.