Jow Forums builds a laptop

20kW-h Hotswappable battery with built in usb-c 2-way charging port.

>tiered multiprocessors, one low power like arm64, one normal, and one workstation processor. All of them with RISC-V instruction set, even the arm64.
>A scheduler that can handle this.
>Gentoo.

>CRT screen
>ethernet port that only accepts SC fiber connectors or manually punched down twisted pairs
>backup battery that requires its own charging source
>PS2 port

Gento/Puppy Linux/ TailsOS switch
audiophile dac/amp
serial ports
ps/2 ports
mechanical keyboard with slide out tray for shortcut keys

>everything good
>long battery life
>ultrabook weight

i'll make the logo

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punch card reader for legacy hardware support

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dual hotswap 10kW-h batteries. Chassis opens up and allows user to slot in a desktop grade graphics card.

8-track player

An "ultrabook"-style laptop like many of the others, but with some alterations:
>RISC-V architecture
>More than just USB-C. Make it just thick enough for Gigabit ethernet, some real USB ports, and HDMI.
>Hardware killswitch for mic. Camera can just use some sticky thing, who cares, but tape can't actually block a mic fully. Only muffle.
>At least 1440p display. Maybe even fall for the 16:10 or 4:3 memes, but it has to be fairly high-res.
>No soldered-in parts. Let users replace RAM, CPU, storage, and battery freely.

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it opens up to a terminal that requires you to type in commands to load the OS

Solar panels

uses ide
not (((sata))) or ((((((nvme))))))

>Ultrabook weight -> Small Battery
>Small Battery + Long life = Low Power Usage
>Low Power Usage -> Low Processing Power

Everything Good =/= Low Processing Power

Would make a useful terminal tho

>running desktop hardware in a laptop
kys gamerfag

mechanical keyboard

floppy
vga
cd player
swappable hard drive and battery
3 ethernet ports
compact flash port
mechanical keyboard with numpad
removable ide drive bay
40 cell removable battery
desktop graphics and heatsinks
built in chip that installs free anime when you install gentoo

Thinkpad X220 with a great IPS 1080p (or higher) panel, AMD Ryzen + Vega APU, plastic body switched to some tough metal body (not aluminum, more like steel or magnesium or something), very high quality battery that can be replaced as easily as in X220 and provides a full day of charge. Such a small device will be comfortably light even with all these modifications, at least if you're not a manlet or something. I would buy this.

Now someone go make it.

I'll just represent what everyone who is a true Jow Forumsentooman wants

Hardware
>4:3 High Res IPS display with 100% of both the sRGB and Adoble RGB
>IBM thinkpad keyboard
>Removable i7 quad core 8th gen with Intel ME disabled
>Removable NIVDIA GTX 1060 Max Q GPU
>Removable 9 cell battery
>Removable 32gb DDR4 RAM
>2TB NVME SSD with a 5TB Hard drive

Software
>Libreboot automatically installed straight out of the box
>Gentoo Pre Installed or your choosing of a non system D GNU/Linux Distro
>No bloatware
>Only open soruce software is allowed to be installed

Ports
>4x USB 3.1 Type A
>2x USB 3.1 Type C with Thunderbolt 3
>1x Ethernet
>1x HDMI
>1x Displayport
>1x SD Card
>1x MagSafe 2
>Physical Switch for Wifi and Blluetooth

Material
>Soft Touch Plastic
>Magnesium Chassis

Graphics card attaches to heatsinks inside chassis. No fans inside chassis. Small sterling engine exchanges heat with surface of table for energy generation.

10lbs min

Laptop has an linux ARM computer that can boot independently of the x86 computer and "genlocks" itself over the main video chip, so you can work with both computers seamlessly.
This way you can almost instantly use the computer to some extent without using too much battery, and even doing shit while you wait the main computer to turn on.
Also you can use the ARM linux to fix the main computer if it fucks itself.

cup holders

Penis authenticator.

Modular CD drive bay. Hotswappable legacy drives, cd drive doubles as a cupholder. Additional cd drive bay modules are optional. One is a bagel toaster & hotplate.

no hdmi
no sd slot (an mmc slot that works with sd is accetable)
absolutely no nvidia
wifi can only be atheros
bios either coreboot or libreboot
cpu preferably opensparc or risc-v

audio cassette player.

>suggesting a company that does not cooperate with the foss community
leave

oled would be better

>single usb-c port
Btfo (((((Tim Cook)))))

everything you said is good except for hdmi. displayport and/or dvi is what it should use. hdmi is a non-free proprietary closed-source patent encumbered botnet

60% keyboard, layout like the Pok3r

Separate lids for easy HDD / RAM replacement, and fan cleaning.

>freetard
>nvidia
wut

>Webcam
>at all
fuck I hate summer fags like you

>Only open soruce software is allowed to be installed
absolutely disgusting

...

Japanese folding audio casette player.

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I was thinking about that, why not design a laptop that uses a slim mini-itx board?

this but peltier elements for solid state active cooling and energy generation

>long-ass ribbon cable for connecting external gpu
>1200/75 acoustic coupler modem
>front panel switches
>teletype input and output

made out of solar panels
bullet proof chassis
battery large enough i can charge a car with it

thats a fine idea, but i would like to see the smaller sizes take off, nano-itx etc.

why even use desktop hw if your going to use intel

>15.6"
>under 6 lbs
>512GB SSD, 4TB 7200 rpm hybrid drive
>fans that pull in air from the rear and vent out sides, removable mesh screens for dust
>different plastic covers for removing components and shit
>fuel cell for 5 days battery life
>two pci connectors that pop out for external shit (graphics cards for gaymurfags)
>4ghz CPU with 100c tjunction, cheap ass Nvidia mobile GPU for day to day stuff
>comes with anime waifu

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Whatever the board is, it will have two m2 sata slots and not support management engine

includes a bathroom, toilet paper, a lighter and can grow weed

fleshlight port

>open source software instead of free software

me too, shame that everything smaller than mini-itx has an soc

I considered you might mean that, but gambled anyway. Oh well. I promise I support, use, and say free software, but I'm not gonna reprimand someone for saying open source most of the time. It makes me uncomfortable, like when someone spells a word wrong or screws up in some other way, but correcting them is often even more uncomfortable.

Convertible mechanism like the vaio flip laptops.

Advantages
>compact
>sturdy
>sleek
>don't have to pick up your laptop to change modes
>no exposed keyboard
>no disconnecting the screen

Disadvantages
>N/A

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>Completely free (as in speech) hardware
>Runs GNU/Linux without blobs
>1 kW-h removable battery, that will be able to power it for 100 hours
>CPU and Graphics that outperforms Intel, nVidia and AMD.
>Weight under 6 kg (quite possible with current Li-ion technology)
>15 inch 4:3 TN panel with privacy filter.
>Long-travel rubber dome keyboard (or mechanical as option)
>Trackpoint
>Crash-resistant, spill-resistant
>3 USB 3.1 full-sized ports
>3 USB C with Thunderbolt compatible interface
>1 Ethernet (10 Gbit/s)
>Composit video output
>VGA
>HDMI
>110-240V input IEC plug for charging
>Beige plastic or thinkpad-black
>128 GPIO's 64 ADCs.

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best Laptop would be about 5' 9, japanese, weighs < 8 stone, nice b cup.

Fuck, I've messed up trackpoint location. Lol.

3in trackball
a radio

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>Not using videochat for work confrences
>Not having a webcam to chat with roasties
>Not having camera for face recognition biometric security
>No light sensor for automatic screen dimming
>No microphone?
>No camera for future augmented reality programs, allowing you to try on various fedoras

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templeos always as bootable firmware

This is why you have an external webcam.

>>CPU and Graphics that outperforms Intel, nVidia and AMD.
I'd rather use something more free like RISC-V, and not focus too much on performance for the sake of realism, cost, and freedom
>>Long-travel rubber dome keyboard (or mechanical as option)
I'd rather mechanical, and I imagine needing to design the computer around its keyboard, so having two choices could be messy.
>>HDMI
Shitty consumer port, I think DisplayPort would be more fitting (that's what's on ThinkPads, even)
-240V input IEC plug for charging
I think USB C charging would be better

If the pic is related, I'd prefer a 60% keyboard to be more space efficient. Laptop keyboards are often pretty bad because they try to cram too much in a small space, and this leads to compromises like non-standard layouts and key sizes. We've seen from the mechanical keyboard community than 60% keyboards can be extremely good. Let's just put one into a laptop.

I was nitpicking the bad parts of what you said, though, I actually liked most of what you said.

you have a 6300 6 core.

no but I have an a6300 24mp sony camra with a 50mm f0.95 lens UwU

>I'd rather use something more free like RISC-V, and not focus too much on performance for the sake of realism, cost, and freedom
Still, having performance isn't a bad thing.
>I'd rather mechanical, and I imagine needing to design the computer around its keyboard, so having two choices could be messy.
It is possible if layout is the same. Thickness of membrane and mechanical keyboards is the same, so no problems here.
>I'd rather mechanical, and I imagine needing to design the computer around its keyboard, so having two choices could be messy.
Maybe. But HDMI is good to have.
>I think USB C charging would be better
USB C will not be able to carry 500-800W to charge a 100 cell battery in reasonable amount of time.
>If the pic is related, I'd prefer a 60% keyboard to be more space efficient. Laptop keyboards are often pretty bad because they try to cram too much in a small space, and this leads to compromises like non-standard layouts and key sizes. We've seen from the mechanical keyboard community than 60% keyboards can be extremely good. Let's just put one into a laptop.
May be, I'm not into a keyboards, but I don't like laptop ones, because they've too short travel.

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>USB C will not be able to carry 500-800W to charge a 100 cell battery in reasonable amount of time
Well, I didn't thought how fat the battery will be.
(40x300x195, 2cells height, 15 in length, and 3 in width)

This idea always goes into stupid joke territory. I'd love something like the X/T/W ThinkPad line separation to try and come up with a few theoretical laptops to please all the Jow Forums users.

why not both?
ofcourse behind a physical switch

whatever happened to cameras having shutters, that shit went from being near universal to unfindable, lots of corporate tier laptops also had wifi hardware switches until recently

>no 5 1/4 floppy
>no U-Matic support
>no 56k modem
>no midi card
Think I will pass.

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those things are only like >30% efficient. it can either be shit at cooling or shit at energy generation

>whatever happened to cameras having shutters,
Most cheap cameras have a electronic shutter, along with the newer and expensive Mirrorless cameras. The only cameras that still use moving shutters would be film cameras, certain point and shoot digital cameras, along with just about all DSLRs.

Why do you bring it up?

>no record player
Thinkpads were good once.

>NO SERIAL
Droped

>webcam
No webcam. NO microphone while we're at it
>I am too lazy to use an external device when I need it which is probably

If this were an Apple product they would just remove the port it once the device gets too slim for the port.

They are on the back

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why pull air from the rear?

(1/2) To the people complaining about webcams:
there's a third option. Make it a detachable device!
This solves three issues:
1. Privacy - they can't spy on you if you don't have the hardware that would let them.
2. If you don't need it, don't take it. Have the standardized port (USB C or whatever) have a shutter against dust.
3. Allows for a better webcam and mic. 99% of those webcams are shitty 720p crap with almost zero dynamic range and all the other stuff /p/ cares about. Add a stereo microphone to boot.

battery pack can be disassembled for individual 18650 cell replacement by the user, and the electronics can adjust to a range of cells to make it somewhat future-proof

screen bezels provide mounting points for paper clips, hoods, etc. VESA standard mounting holes on the bottom. full 180 degree hinge.

the laptop itself is thick enough to allow for swappable RAM and storage, and full-sized ports galore

SATA hot-swappable drive/optical bay

>hdmi is a non-free proprietary closed-source patent encumbered botnet

hdmi is also the one that's useful, dingus. unless you wanna carry a >dongle around for connecting to TVs and projectors hdmi is just one thing you have to compromise on

>No jp layout with aesthetic size spacebar
>No iridium modem
>Not waterproof
>No resistive touchscreen

Is this a joke?

>jp layout
Not the standard ISO layout
>touchscreen

Is this a joke?

(2/2)
Sourcing the components would be fairly simple, due to the massive supply chain already created for smartphones.
The type C connector would be reversible so you can also record other people (say an interview or something).

As for internal components of the Jow Forums laptop, make it similar to the dell xps 15, but have two different thickness options with different cooling solutions. One is the typical meme slimbook, and the other one would just come with a deeper base plate which would allow thicker batteries and larger heatsinks/fans. Configurable TDP in the bios/os level.

Component wise: dgpu would be nice with HBM to save space/power. However I HATE optimus/enduro. MUXless graphics are cancer. It's super finnicky with less popular titles - they run like dog shit when they run off the intel gpu.

Screen: small bezels, the detachable webcam fits into the philosophy. Laptop size should take into account supply chain availability - notice how there are much fewer 14'' displays.

They are on the secondary unit. You didn't think this slim little thing was the whole device, did you? When you put it all together you don't need a desk to keep it elevated. Now that's ergonomic.

Dual socket Threadripper 2 2990x. Disable overclocking in bios for battery life.

>14"
>16:10 or 3:2 display, anti-glare
>Ryzen 7 Pro 2700U
>16GB 3200MHz
>500GB SSD
>at least 4 USB 3.1 ports
>ethernet port
>2 DP outs
>trackpoint
>hardware mic disable, physical slider thing for covering the webcam
>thinklight + backlit keyboard
>GPIO ports with configurable UART, SPI, I2C, Analog, Input capture and PWM peripherals
>everything modular and replaceable with just a couple screws
Nothing on this list is outright impossible, but sadly it's probably never gonna happen.

kek

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Has AMD opened sourced the Security Processor?
>There's the door.

radioisotope thermoelectric generator

>>GPIO ports with configurable UART, SPI, I2C, Analog, Input capture and PWM peripherals
This would be fucking badass and I would legit buy it in a heartbeat

Why use a photoshop when the real thing exists?

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Let's get an RS-232 serial port on this bitch too.

How else are you going to get accurate lightpen emulation?