Rate my cover letter

Yer.
Tone it down or either bullshit a bit more op

If I was the hiring manager, I'd skim through it and look for keywords (i.e. words like OOP, RESTFul, SOAP, et cetera). After finding no words other than Office, I'd throw your application out.

Are you for fucking real dude? If you have skills everyone has, then you're either not qualified or applying for a shit job at McDonalds.

I have to work with one of these types of people.. jesus christ our daily standups are such a pain when this faggot talks 10 minutes about how solved the most mundane issue.

>oh wow look at this autists letter
>binned
Like I'm just been blunt mate employer's have so many choices for workers atm it's fucked.
Also this it is a really hard industry to get into and even if you get in your job security is shit due to outsourcing and bubble boom that's gonna pop

>I'm trying to write a letter ppl will remember.
You really seems to be stuck in some kind of anime.

Must be a late gen y they never snapped out of the Japan phase.

Seriously though op it's a good start maybe underwrite it a bit and brush u on your skills more.
I hated working in it so it's not for everyone and even the most basic bitch support roles like I did require Jack of all trades

Even with the outsourcing, tech still pays really well. As long as you're competent and staying in touch with modern tech (i.e. I'm learning Android Jetpack features right now because I know features like the Navigation Architecture Component are going to take over Android development). You will always be valuable as long as you are WHITE and you speaky the English bretty good.

I'd normally say to cut the crap and focus on achievements, what you can offer, and what you want. But it sounds like you don't have too much of the first two. If this is a real entry-level thing and it's not a very competitive job, I guess some people might think the approach here is cute.

It's better than the two sentence cover essays with "I am real good hard worker" and shit that were most of the applications that I had to work with, but then again those were really easy positions I was screening for

You're good as long as you're competent*

In all sincerity the 'battle against the odds' is a bit childish and your resume seems a tad boastful. You have to sell yourself but don't be weird or douchey about it.

Don't tell me about your 'toolbelt' and or how you're note gonna be going toe to toe with senior engineers (no shit). Just be more frank about

>I am a strong self learner and can quickly become productive with different tools and languages. At my last internship (or whatever the fuck it was) blah blah blah

Also mention the problems you were solving imo. I don't care so much that you were able to adapt to working with excel from matlab (congrats on not wanting to blow your brains out) but the real meat of your value is in the problems you were solving.

You want to get across that you are a goodproblem solver and that you can solve problems using a variety of languages and tools as the need arises because you are a strong self learner

Also mention you are good at communicating and softskills etc if you feel its appropriate to add. People value strong communication and presentation skills. Convey you are able to work with people from many different backgrounds and experience levels.

>he has even seen
0/10 kill yourself OP

I hate the culture around tech I hate snobby nerds I hate their false I'm better than you bullshit.
Can't stand it.
That and the rampant sjw group think in all the big fortune corps

This guy's right. It's not a terrible letter at all but the "So there I was..." imagery is too much

Excellent advise anons
Also might I seriously add that you should research each company and judge whether the fact if you should mention the fact that you're white and have privileges it might help alot in certain lefties (yes I'm serious) mentioning stuff like your idk aware and sensitive to co-workers bullshit bla bla bla good team player bla bla bla
If yiu wunna stand out use a thesaurus not a anime prologue monologue

I won't forgive you for:
A) shitting on Linear Algebra
B) using word and not LaTeX

You also stare no where why you are writing this letter and it makes you look like an autistic person since any normal person reading this will think you are an incredibly unlikable person who is making excuses for getting fired from his last job because he was too dumb to use Excel and got a pat on the head because his Boss didn't want to be mean.
This thing is supposed to make you look good in the eyes of the person you want to be employed by.

All in all this looks more like someone coping with his own insecurities, then someone trying to present himself to a company, especially "the odds are against me" part, that just seems pathetic.

Yes? I don't get how it relates to my comment.

Excel is nonfree software. Also, there's no way this isn't a parody.

>WHITE
>speaky the english,

Kek brutal user

>In all sincerity the 'battle against the odds' is a bit childish and your resume seems a tad boastful
It also doesn't even follow from, "As an engineering student." An engineering student just learns engineering. How does that "teach you when the odds are against you"? Did his school have multiple engineering teachers and only one of them was any good, so the odds were against him getting the decent one?
And is he even a current engineering student? He's trying to get a job, so wouldn't that be, "As a former engineering student"? It looks like he's trying to use "engineering student" as some kind of badge that puts him above everyone else. That's a big red flag that he's a clueless right-wing snowflake.

If you're white and speak English fluently, you will be more likely to secure a position. That's a good thing.

How many companies honestly ask for a cover letter?

And here's why

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Lmao you don't get a Silicon Valley (or Wall Street) job by applying. You join a frat in college and get your bros to put in a good word for you.

Few ask for one.

Some people really want to work for a specific company, so they'll go the extra mile.

Sometimes it helps, other times it's just a bunch of text that HR glosses over, other times they take offense that you didn't present them something in bullet list form.

No one will read it. Seriously they just get a computer to skim through all the applications and pick the ones with things they need.

First paragraph evokes strange imagery. Avoid the firehose bit, seriously.
>Lesson one
I get that this is a lesson you’ve learned but it comes off as you teaching the reader a lesson, and it’s a negative.
>talking about your past job in the cover letter.
Don’t do it. Would talk about your ex to a love interest? CL should be an unironic quick rundown about you and what you bring to the targeted firm. Focus more on who they are and why you belong there.
Your paragraph under Lesson One Corollary reads like a Jow Forums post and it all needs to go.
Shorten the whole thing in general too. No one has time to read this shit and will bin it if they get an essay. Quick. Rundown. Remember those words.

>i began to like the formulas
>even vlookup
you point that out like vlookup is some difficult to understand shit
it's like if a programmer said "I began to like programming. Even the for loop."

This is good advice.

Honestly, you're saying what everyone else says. "I don't know, but I can learn." It doesn't do much in the case of uniqueness but perhaps you'll catch someone in a sentimental mood and get an interview.

this is seriously the gayest piece of shit i've ever read

cringe
cuck

1. There's way too much imagery. I know a cover letter should be somewhat personal but it should also be formal.

2. It's good to include examples of things you've done but the details are too specific. You want to be broad and leave something to discuss at interview.

3.
>Please contact my email at...
should be
>Please contact me by email at...

4. It might sound counter-intuitive but don't try so hard. Just be yourself. They won't be impressed by flowery language and your ability to use a thesaurus. They want to know why they should give you an interview, it's the interview where they want to know why they should hire you.

Unprofessional as fuck, kid.

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lol

Jesus Christ, user
If I was a hiring manager I'd keep your name in my "never hire, not even if I had to get a dozen pajeets instead" list

This would not encourage me to want to spend time face to face with the author.

It's borderline Zodiac-tier.

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Lol it's not THAT bad. Also I'm white and sociable. I think that alone gives me more chances in the Valley.

You are overthinking it. Just copy some shit from their website like their mission statement and reword it. Your cover letter and resume is going to be scanned by a computer and it'll be looking for keywords. Thats all that matters. Only then will HR skim read your cover letter but they usually dont care. The interview is what really matters.

ive worked in silicon valley and i didn't even use a cover letter. you're pathetic.

Bro, I LITERALLY just threw out your application after seeing you post on Jow Forums.

Can I put all the key words in white font along the margins and keep this letter (I think it's pretty kick-ass). That way I get a cool letter plus I pass the computer filter.

considering your extensive knowledge of the microsoft office suite, you probably could do that

OP time for a reality check, you're not in school - in the real world all adults care about is can you do the job or not.

No employer gives half a flying fuck about your determination or will to succeed or any of that motivational bullshit, what employers ultimately care about is can you get the job done or not - its literally that simple.

Only include relevant skills/knowledge that the employer is looking for, otherwise you're wasting their time.

It's pretty bad.

1.) You literally tell them that you can't compete with their current employees. Honesty in this case won't get you anywhere, you really do have to sell yourself.

2.) Why do you list your lessons as if there's going to be more than one? I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with it, but it does look weird

3.) You don't mention why you want the job. You don't really exude passion for whatever it is you're applying for.

4.) At no point do you mention any reason any skills that are relevant for the job.

5.) The "against all odds" attitude that you're attempting to get a cross, while a good attitude to have, isn't going to help you. You need to show that you can add value to their company by employing you. "I work hard" is literally the most basic thing any firm will expect from you.

There's probably some more improvements to make, but they're the ones that immediately jump out at me.

Honestly I reckon OP should chuck it in the garbage and stop watching anime

> cover letter
People still write those??

It filters for betacucks and corporate lapdogs

The time it takes you to write a good cover letter you can apply for 5 other positions.

cover letters? In my day you'd just walk in and give the man a firm handshake

I didn't read it but
>be jobless
>teaching lessons
Do you really think normies like autism?

In eurolands they are required

how do you know he's jobless?

jesus man

you go through a **LIST** of *ONE FUCKING ACCOMPLISHMENT* AND ITS

M A S T E R I N G

F U C K I N G

M S O U T L O O K

Like, shit man.

The only way you could make that worse is "I accomplished one thing on internship: mastering candy crush"

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I've given up on writing long cover letters. They never got me any interviews and the voice never felt like my own. I switched to using the cover letter portion to set up an informational interview with one of the engineers, and then work my way into the job circuit that way. Making it email length and mentioning the skills you want to apply has gotten me a lot more interviews and sounds a lot more genuine. Given the responses it also feels more like the hiring whoever actually read the letter, since something this long will definitely not be read. That's been working for me so that's the advice I would give. Cover letters suck and schools do an awful job of updating how they are taught.

Just read his lessons. He does not have anything to show.

or maybe cv's are just half assed bullshit like OP's? doesn't really say anything about anyone honestly.

>not calling the company and asking who you should address the letter to
you fucking failed bro, just give up now

I didn't even read the rest, but saw you had headings and platitudes

0/10

I'd throw that letter in the trash.

Is that a god damn fucking cover letter? It's fucking 2018. Stop being such a fucking brainlet and make a resume website you faggot.

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wtf i thought it was a pajeet

"dear sir, derka derka cliche

derka list of tech

derka derka this reads like a powerpoint

plz giv money

sincerely,
rathnamanasan guptagudrudara"

>What you think happens:
The hiring manager takes the time to leisurely read and take in your letter and appreciates the time taken to write a story
>What actually happens:
The first phase of shortlisting is 15 seconds of me scanning for keywords and seeing if you have enough points to make it through to the next phase, and I forget about your letter by the time I've picked up the next in a pile of 100

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>If I was the hiring manager, I'd skim through it and look for keywords

Thank you for inviting me. I totally didn't copy paste your job search ad into my resume.

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FUCKING WHITE MALES REEEEEEEE

Not concise enough. He doesn't value other people's time. If his cv lists the needed skillset than he will have an oppertunity to show off in an interview. He probably only has written to lessons to show off that he had math once in his life.

Not him but picking out what they're asking for in the ad and directly mentioning it in your application is precisely how to make it through the first phase of application screening.

Thats all that phase is, and the easier you make it for me to see you've got what we're looking for and how you got it, the more likely I am to put you through. Thats all big companies that don't use inverted binary tree memery use for recruitment in the early stages before you actually talk to anyone.

you sounds like a hipster faggot, into the trash it goes

KYS

If I was a hiring manager I would NOT hire you, you sound like an enormous faggot and would be insufferable to work with

>(don't tell anyone)
you're not funny or clever, fuck off

gay

no one actually reads cover letters unless its super cringe, like this one is

>He doesn't value other people's time.
as he shouldn't. other people's time is irrelevant. getting hired and leeching as much as you can is all that matters.

Then what's the point of a cover letter in the first place?

If your job application is TL;DR then it will get thrown out.

This comes down to communication skills, effective communicators are concise and if you can't compress your accomplishments into quick bullet points even a moronic HR screener can understand then you can't hang in the corporate world.

the "cover letter" is a 2-3 paragraph email with resume attached

no need for a separate one unless you're truly unqualified as OP is

"lesson one": no lesson two

>Skills:
>Writing computer programs to scan resumes to find ones with things you need.
>Pls hire, kthx
Thoughts?

>It's more than just overwritten, it's written by someone who's waaaaay too impressed with himself.

You've not worked with business have you? You have to do all this bullshit, _especially_ when dealing with non-technical management types (the kinds who read your covering letter and yes/no you to the technical interview stage).
There's a guy like this at my work. Everyone tech thinks he's a fucking idiot, he uses buzzwords and talks about shit he doesn't understand. He makes figuring out the most basic python shit sound like he slaved away and cracked some secret code. Management is very impressed with him, especially his confidence. Meanwhile tech lead and his coworkers try and pass him off onto someone else's project because he'll fuck everything up.

>Then what's the point of a cover letter in the first place?

To screen out morons who can't string 2 sentences together

>mastering MS office and outlook
....

not really? maybe if you only have like less than 5 yrs experience I guess.

really stop talking. nothing you are saying is remotely universal all anyhow.

What jobs are you applying for that get the white glove treatment? Senior management? Or are you a code kiddie who thinks they are special?

lol

what I do is have 2 lines of keywords at the bottom of my resume. a list of technologies, not hidden, but not prominent

more like "if you really must list MS Office, shove it at the bottom as an afterthought"

look tough guy. you're wrong. just accept it. nothing you can say about a CV/Resume will ever universally apply. I've gotten interviews for both some really shitty resumes and not so shitty ones. Almost everyone has a critique on everyone's shit and rarely do they matter in practice.

>Almost everyone has a critique on everyone's shit and rarely do they matter in practice.
Why don't we just shut the thread down then and let the OP just cringe his way into a job just like you have?

that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying you're being an aggressive faggot who has no valuable input to add like most of the fucktards in this thread. The only reason I came into this thread is to shit on your faggy larping smug ass thinking you're some cool kiddo because you can insult people for what is mostly a mediocre CV.

in honesty, op's CV is not really a CV. it's probably be better to just wiki the corp and throw some buzzwords in there. someone has already stated this though and glad that they have.

>i came into this thread to troll you
You got me good dude, great job

>in honesty, op's CV is not really a CV
Correct, it's a covering letter.

Looks great user. Remember to just be yourself :)

This cover letter is highschool tier. Mentioning Excel is boomer tier. Rewrite the cover letter and only mention relevant skills. Write it in a professional, non-reddit tone. Make it sound like you're above the age of 16.

kid, if I put 500$ on the table you would start sucking my dick without hesitation. It's easy as that. You're probably OP and a fucking NEET creature who luckily landed an internship somehow.

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