Post your CVs Jow Forums

1- Entry level jobs require no experience
2- You can gain some experience by doing personal projects

A small language of mine. It won't be very useful but I'm learning a lot.
Decided to start working on it again after getting a job or internship.

good luck!

How do I get a job as a final year CS student?

Both baldfaced lies. Try actually applying without experience sometime you little shit.

>Vancacy
>Respective Person
>I have learned my learning package at college is about
>Writing lists as paragraphs
>Starting sentences with And
>Starting new sentences without finishing the last
>who would be conducting take a time to review my resume
>telling them your previous salary
>shoes thinking skills

>good written and verbal communication skills
>good

Please tell me this is a meme

love this one

What's your proof that you're 'good' at programming. This needs to be valid, impressive, and the centerpoint of your CV.

If you have a degree it's actually quite easy. And experience comes in more shapes and sizes than just having worked somewhere.

>Posting the censored version when you find the real with a simple "Joseph pony resume" google search.
pjreddie.com/static/Redmon Resume.pdf

Have you done your internship yet? If not, focus on getting an internship somewhere.

Everyone starts from zero. If companies only accepted those with experience, then those without experience will never get jobs. Since many people have jobs, your logic is flawed.

I have a degree. It is the exact opposite of easy. Why do fuckers like you keep lying about this?

I literally graduated 3 weeks ago, got a job offer last week, and start next week. So yeah, fuck you.

Indeed those without experience will never get jobs. Which is why we are seeing a simultaneous shortage (of experienced devs) and glut (of no exp devs). Again, try actually applying without experience sometime you little shit.

Does lying on the internet help you sleep at night or something?

I have up to #89 of Project Euler solved in Python. I can sum the primes under 2 million in a jiffy. How do you get past HR without a degree?

:^)

Attached: Screenshot_20180724-094559__01.jpg (1080x1269, 129K)

>creating a fake email to back up his lie
That's some impressive dedication to bullshit.

Yeah, I sent that email to myself three weeks ago in prep for this shit thread. Accept it mang, you're at fault, not the system.

>get degree with decent GPA
>create personal projects and website to publish them
>seek out and follow advice for writing a good resume
>apply for hundreds of grad and junior dev positions
>so many applications it becomes obvious how a lot of the jobs don't even exist
>get nowhere
>"face it mang, the problem is you not the system"
I want to beat you to death with my bare hands right now. Top bait, faggot.

Well sorry buddy, what can I say, here I am with a 2-2, no projects on github, and a $36k starting salary. Some people are just lucky I guess.

Some people deserve to die. Like all of HR. And now you.

:D

>Y-Yeah nice photoshop f-faggot!

Attached: crying_wojak.jpg (300x300, 23K)

>not being able to understand that posting the censored version adds to the authenticity

>programming is about clicking keyboard buttons and knowing stuff by heart
The fuck?

Well obviously. That guy's so well accomplished he doesn't even need a CV. He probably did this for shits and giggles.

>get job
>first week in
>manager takes a bunch of CVs, stands up and starts reading them aloud
>no names
>turns it into a guessing game
>mocking the dead robot monotone and "formal" language used to write the piece of crap
I just know they laughed at mine before I joined. From now on, I put some actual life into my words and try to keep it close to as informal as possible. Just remember, an actual living breathing faggot is going to be reading your resume and are going to be laughing at it. Don't bore them.

>$36k
>bragging
My first offer was $65k in a small town

Good for you, and I'm not trying to brag, I'm just pointing out how the 10 thousand '>2 million years experience for a graduate position' threads we get daily are all started by retarded, incompetent, lazy, or just down right deluded people.

My experience is too far specialized to post without doxxing myself and it would be a moot point since you don't have experience.

You will never make it if you're a wagecuck.

...

>do you know haskell? do you know lisp? have you ever written a program in assmbly?
I've only done the last one ;_;

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Bump

>no mention of the programming languages he know
?

You can find them on github or under my experience.

>t
you sound very qualified.

In google you could earn more than $400k

yes, yes and yes. I wrote a simple os in asm last year, I use emacs so lisp is a necessity and haskell is popular rn so i learned it.

>popular must mean it's good
what a tool

I don't have the proper qualifications or experience for working at Google though.

the fuck you mean?

99% of google jobs are web or AI related, not system stuff.

Wrong.

but keep thinking that.

less people to compete with

Im graduating in a month, and I got a full time job I've been in for 2 weeks now. The reality is most people are too brainlet to get into programming

What tool did you use to write your CV in?

no popular means it gets you employed dingus. Whether its good is irrelevant

I wrote it in Latex.

If you're too dumb to learn proper GD and Latex grab a template online, stick it in overleaf and just fill in the blanks. Google anything that breaks compilation. It's about as easy as HTML.

What is a GD?

Graphic Design

I see, thanks.

Post salary so we can laugh at you.

kek

It's paid in equity

>two column layout
into the trash it goes

réddit

>Post salary so that NEETs can pretend to laugh at you while they're punching their pillow in a fit of impotent rage
FTFY

so salty holy shit

kek

?

Not salty, it's just a reality check. I'm not the guy who posted the email btw.

Actually sharing his CV, madman

I posted it here: Oh cool, I have an imposter.

Nvm, I'm retarded, I don't have an imposter.

Attached: resume1pg.png (1653x2339, 710K)

>rating your own creativity
Jesus Christ, that's the most pretentious thing I've ever heard of, fucking hell. I don't care if that's a fake resume, you HAVE to be huffing your own farts to even think that's remotely acceptable in real life.

>reality check
why do you need to justify your own wagecuckery so bad
>inb4 neet
literally posting from work

>working on commission
>wagecuckery
Nah.

Nice try, pedo

Good thread

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thats still wagecuckery though pajeet

>get to pick my clients
>make six figures
>wagecuckery
Hardly.

Having retarded bars or charts is a one way ticket to the shredder.

Sounds like having a normal job, which is pretty much the same as wagecuckery.
Just cause you're making more dosh doesn't mean you're not getting cucked, although it helps.

the tripfag is a shitskin

After paying for my 401k-equivalent, health insurance, fully paid leave and sick leave, expenses/gear, taxes, and after taking the risk of having to pay me a salary even if I have no client, they get like 15% sliver of my billables. I get 50% of my billables and I have a guaranteed salary.

If you call that cucked, I don't know what to tell you.

there's nothing wrong on being a wagecuck senpai, no need to try to justify your wagecuckery so hard to anonymous posters

As I said, I don't know what to tell you.

I graduated without a degree in CS but got a CS job. Had an internship but it was for nothing CS related. Got a job 3 months before I graduated.

Fellow Manc. Grad positions in Manchester rob people on salary.

My salary's decent so far as I can tell, it was a good chunk higher than my other offers, and those my peers have received, aside from those that went to work at banks in London.

IHS Markit really stick it to people on salaries.
My grad was £38k in town.

I started making $100k last November after I dropped out of college at 19. They started me at level 3, which is basically mid-level. I met a grad who has a masters, and has been working at the company for two years, who is at the same level as me.

The reason I got hired? Side projects, freelancing, and specialization. That's all that matters in CS- whether or not you can get the job done.

>I started making $100k last November after I dropped out of college at 19
And how old are you now? 30?

Personal projects don't mean shit to them

Wait, was that an educated guess or...

20

anyone have the "paid shill" resume

Do I add statement of accomplishment from online courses to my CV?
Do I add whatever I know well enough only or everything that I have worked on even if its shit? So like I did a web dev course and I know minimal stuff but I'm not good at it. Do I still add that?

More like resume of patient 0, amirite?