You've found a suitcase full of $750k in cash in $100 dollar bills, in the brush next to a highway...

did you mean to post in Jow Forums?
we're just a bunch of NEET computer nerds here

Buy a big washing machine and launder the money

>replying to a reddit thread
reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/9799el/youve_found_a_suitecase_full_of_750k_in_cash_in/

>knowing the thread is from reddit
you have to go back

invest in the local infrastructure
thank you redditor for confirming this with us 4chedditors

I wouldn't know since I never go there

Attached: 1528554889161.gif (600x600, 89K)

>Going to reddit

>knowing it's a reddit thread

claim a nigerian prince gave it to me after loaning him a couple thousand

Just claim it as found money on your taxes

no red flags guaranteed

Considering I live in south america I will probably get my entire family mudered because of finding this shit either by the police themselves or by drug lords.

>I live in south america
i'm sorry user.

1. consult lawyer 2. follow instructions 3. let chips fall where they may

i lel'd

Pay cash for ammo, groceries, and gas for the next 70 years.

Attached: 1531261651679.jpg (1500x938, 707K)

Give the money back, Jamal

depends if the money looks like its been taken from a bank then figure out a way to launder it. Wouldn't put it in my bank account cause the numerical ID of the bills has probably been flagged.

The Feds will be raiding yr trailer. Soon.

Attached: thank-you-for-your-tip-httpsultips-tigovthank-you-for-your-tip-report-4019144.png (500x312, 32K)

kek

I'd install Gentoo

I return it to the nearest 交番 since I'm not a degenerate gaijin.

Donate to research for engineering catgirls.

gold

Buy someone's sportscar or house in cash, sell sportscar/house and report it as income.

yeah buying and selling a car or a house surely doesn't leave any traces
/snicker/

bump

This. Holy shit guys this is more complicated than fucking rocket science. Seems like the only way to win is not to play.

Attached: 1461027252607.jpg (572x303, 144K)

>"If you find money, especially a significant amount, you should check your local laws or contact an attorney or the police. If a law requires that you turn over money you have found to the police and you do not do so, you could be charged with larceny or theft. Even though you did not steal the money by taking it directly from its owner, you are holding the money and not trying to return it. Holding or possessing property that you know does not belong to you also constitutestheft or larcenyunder moststate laws."

criminaldefenselawyer.com/resources/criminal-defense/felony-offense/i-found-a-bunch-cash-can-i-keep-it

Well that's fucking gay.

Attached: 1530393482730.png (320x320, 165K)

ask theyre knowledgeable about tax havens and money laudering

just use the cash as cash stupid, buy food and everything in cash. Dont go often to buy shit wait every 3-7 days to go shopping at a store if your gonna do that.

I know it sucks but I'm already used to paying 900 dollars for a 1080.
You guys just adopted the crazy prices from jew stores, I was born on it, molded by it.

setup a fake business and launder the money into my real bank account

You just need to launder it.
The laziest scheme I can think of is to use localbitcoins.com/ and do something like
Cash > bitcoin > monero > USD > "I was a miner back when it was super easy and hodled my coins"

>hey user has all that stuff, I wonder if he found a suitcase of money
Tax man still cometh retard.

this is fucking stupid.
You could earn $30k a year on interest alone from $750k.

or you can be retarded like (You) and waste it on perishable foods.

Heads or Tails, Sir?

Attached: file.png (700x382, 436K)

>Not starting your informal business where you pay everyone in cash
>Not laundering money with car sales
>Not hiring bodyguards and then escaping to another country when shit goes down under
Are you even South American?

take it to the police or report it as income to the IRS.

kek

>report it as income to the IRS
>so user, I see at your job you make 50k yearly.
>but this year you made 800k
>we'd like to to contact your employer about this sudden increase

you know, you could buy other stuff besides food in cash, you just gotta be smart at finding stuff.

how, a grocery store is gonna tell the government what you have or your spending habits in cash? Is this britian? Need a warrant for that and a good reason why.

the point is that you do not ever spend large sums of money like that. you put it all in a bond and gain interest, then spend the money made off that interest only.

in this case, that's 30k a year extra for spending

Buy a few semi trucks, start a small fleet. Hello giant tax write-offs and residual income.

live like i always have, just use it to pad your expenses, when i need a new car dont buy a brand new one, buy one that is an old classic and fix it up with new interior, new engine & transmission and rear differential and new u-joints, new front suspension, new brakes, dont do a new paint job, keep it sort of ugly on the outside but you know its awesome on the inside and under the hood,

i bet you would be broke in a year, 750K is a lot of money, but not that much money, you might be able to buy 2 or 3 trucks with that.

Put all of it in my mattress spend it by a couple hundred at a time till I retire at 65, then blow the fucking shit outta it because fuck it if I get caught at that age I'll just burn it all and kill myself

Thread has absolutely nothing to do with technology
alive for at least
>3 hours
with
>56 replies
by
>41 different IPs

I guess the mods are essentially dead.