Bidets are technology

Probably also heats up the water before blasting your arse with it.

For the heated seat and warm water and blowdry

rofl
damn that's some fancy shit
I like cold water though, wakes me up and keeps my butt cool

>his butthole overheats so much that he needs to spray it down with ice cold water
See a doctor.

Thinking about getting into bidets. What are you using?

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have fun with ass cancer

I wish bidets were the standard in the US.

actually it's non-electrical, just plug and spray

i've been using a cup for the last 4 or 5 years instead of paper, so this is an upgrade for me

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just got back from euro holiday and fuck, the hotels with the bidet were the fuckin best. hot water available, and right next to the toilet.

though when i'm in china i love how they give you the little hose

>i've been using a cup for the last 4 or 5 years instead of paper
I'm sorry, what?

Literally pajeet tier

a cup of warm water, just splash it on, and rub it off. then wash hands like a doctor

That's disgusting. You're disgusting.

in my opinion, having left over shit on your ass from only using paper is disgusting. i can mix soap into the water too. it's actually just an old sports bottle, so its like a fifth to a quart of water that i use

if you had shit in your armpit would you wipe it off with toilet paper or take a shower?

Thanks, user. Now I have the image of some sweaty neckbeard spraying his ass with water from a sports bottle, then mushing it around with his bare hands, stuck firmly in my brain. End your existence.

my gf does it too, and that's why her ass is always fresh

Do you wipe first at least? I can't imagine just splashing water will do anything. Bidets are pressurized at least

i don't need to wipe. i'm cleaning my ass by using some water and mechanical action from my left hand. imagine cleaning some mashed potatoes off of a plate. thats how much force you need. then i dry off with a small towel i keep by the toilet for such a purpose. i wash the towel every time i do laundry, which is every day or two

there is nothing quite like waking up, taking a big morning dump after some coffee, and then heading to work with a fresh feeling without the trouble of taking a shower

>i keep by the toilet for such a purpose

>when they find the pooper pleaser
>the shit scooper
>the turd tidier

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no thx, I got a hot ass, jealous?

sure it's got some shit particles on it, just like your ass would if you had only used paper

Please stop posting.

it's totally fine to lick a bare vulva full of piss and period blood but suddenly you clean up your ass properly with water and wash your hands properly and you're a fucking monster
real epic bud

You don't shower before work?

What the fuck?

Who eats a girl out on her period? Nobody.

not anymore, because his toilet washes his asshole

Smearing wet shit around like mashed potatoes and wiping yourself off with a shit cloth isn't really the same thing as licking a pussy that was probably showered that day...

>tfw eurofag
>tfw been using bidets my entire life, never really had the need to use toilet paper
>go on vacation, no bidet available
>my ass hurts as fuck after a couple of shits because toilet paper is too rough for my fragile asshole that has had no conditioning from years of using paper like most other people probably have
>ass never feels really clean
Why would you ever not have/use a bidet. This is the worst part of any vacation; having to wipe my ass with paper. How do you even live like this?

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PAJEET
SHIT IN STREET
POO IN LOO
PATEL GO TO HELL

so why is it that everyone who's tried washing instead of wiping only has positive things to say about it? and everyone who hasn't tried it can only react with "but that's gross because you're touching shit"

better to touch shit for a few seconds than to have it festering on your body until the next time you have a chance to shower. i'm also more comfortable during the entire day because i don't need to hold shit in since i get it done in the morning, and am clean all day.

my routine is comfy and i'm not going to change it. i shower every night after work. i shit in the morning and just wash my ass with the system i have

A lot of people shower the night before, sleep and sweat and get all gross again, then go about their day like they actually cleaned themselves instead of wasting water (which is what they did) because they're retarded.

>oh my god you said shit????? what the fuck is wrong with you???
Would you please shut the fuck up about how impressed are you by some random faggot on the Internet not being clean? Go the fuck back to lereddit or whatever easily impressible shithole you came out of.

Sanjeet just go to bed, you have your job at the call center in a few hours.

I can't imagine spraying water against my asshole

Maybe if I was a faggot

get in the shower if it bothers you so much

>. How do you even live like this?
I ask the same thing anytime I go to anywhere that doesnt have a sauna
t.finn

Don't worry, op. I used to do that too. Been using a bidet for years now, though.

if i were a pajeet i'd have the cleanest ass crack of them all. my gf could rim me at a moments notice (and just between us here, she does)

>Americ*ns
Out of all the Americans I've known, specifically men, about 3/4 of them have proudly told me that they don't wash their ass AT ALL (not even during a shower), because even touching it is "faggy". Imagine what America must smell like.

>(and just between us here, she does)

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Jow Forumsihavesex

I have one of these Hibbent ones I got off Amazon for like $89.
I had one of those $40 Luxe ones that just mounts under the seat and it worked fine but it started leaking eventually and it was hard to clean so I got this and it's great.
I don't want to have to hook up electricity and or hot water to it so this is as fancy as I am going to get.

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So you don't even clean your ass when you take a shower? Disgusting.

ask me how i know you're gonna die of prostate cancer

Nope why would I? Thats what cologone is for.

was it kind of like this one?
the reviews on the one in my pic say they had it for a year with no leaks

I can't even tell if you're memeing because I've known people who honestly thought this.

I clean my butt, but never go near the actual hole. That shit is gay as fuck. It gets cleaned when I go swimming and its covered up by colgone anyway if it did smell.

Spray water against ur butt is only fine if ur gay

>attracting women with a potpourri of Versace and Doritos Loco Taco Supreme shits
this guy fucks, i bet he gets rim jobs like a mofo

>It gets cleaned when I go swimming

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>i clean my but, but only 50% of it. the other 50% i like to leave on to fortify my musk, and besides i just disperse it into the public pool

I go swimming often, its not as gross as you'd think.

Imagine being a 40 year old man, and using a bidet on your 11 year old daughter.

Thats like a sex crime.

imagine just letting her mother teach her how to use it

So you never showered with a parent to learn how the shower worked? ...what?

>An 11 year old child can not clean itself
In any case, how is this different from wiping your baby's/child's ass with paper? It just one of those things that parents do, or do you just take your child swimming so that you and the other people in the pool can ingest your days old shit particles that get dissolved in the water?

So single fathers in europe dont use bidets if they have children?

You're a sick fuck.

that's why he has a personality disorder now

You are no different than pajeet streetshitters.

You're telling me that you were too stupid of a child to figure out how a shower works?

Got dam

Got a $30 bidet from Amazon, it's a life changer

then if your children are so smart, why do you have to use a bidet on them?

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I dont own a bidet

I just have one them standalone bidets right next to the toilet. Works, does the job, can't complain. I never tried one of these built-in or add-on ones.

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Patrician

>if you had shit in your armpit would you wipe it off with toilet paper or take a shower?
I'm not him, but I always use clippers back there for hygiene. I always wet the toilet paper before I use it as well. A bidet sounds nice, but you still wipe when you're done, right? I wouldn't feel clean otherwise.

>hehe babe i used your bidet now sniff my brapper!

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when you use water, (and especially water + a little soap) everything comes off

You don't need a bidet to wash your ass after taking a shit. The shower is often right there.

>bidetless running around smelly
>me fresh and libre GNU/ass

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I was referring to the wetness. Does it blow air? I'd need something to wipe the wetness away.

Personally I use the bidet, then a bit of TP (E X T R A T H I C C). I go through maybe a tenth of the TP I did before I had a bidet, and my butt is always super clean.

Using a bidet is fine if you're a faggot

straight me won't use this shit

Why are women so obsessed with blonde hair? It almost never looks good when it's not natural. Her looks like hay thanks to the bleach.

It's no secret that gay men are more fashionable, smarter, and smell better than straight guys, and none of the things they do to achieve this are inherently "gay". Why don't you want to be more than a caveman, Jamal?

Spraying water into your asshole is gay

I wont even discuss it.

Enjoy reeking of shit all day and having a painful, crusty butthole, user.

Have Crohn's. Works wonders for me when I'm flaring. A lot less toilet paper.

Its called I only shit once a day like most people.

I wake up, coffee, shit, then shower.

You're all faggots.

Do you clean your butt when you shower? Congrats, you're as gay as the people that use bidets.

You don't? Congrats, you reek of shit, you fat sack of garbage.

I do clean my butt, but I keep the water away from my asshole. The water trickles down my back and runs through my crack.

You faggot literally spray water into your assholes.

Dont compare me to you

More than a fucking kilowatt to spray some water up your asshole - what the fuck kind of toilet botnet is this

>The water trickles down my back and runs through my crack
I can't imagine how you smell. Oh wait, you "use cologne", right? Protip: if YOU can smell it, it's too much, and it doesn't smell the way it should; you smell like a teenager who uses aerosol "deodorant" in place of a shower.

wait you shit? Straight guys cant shit, if you have anything, including poop, touching your butthole, that makes you gay. Faggot.

I get mine surgically removed from my stomach every month, like a real hetero man. Im very straight.

My thoughts exactly

Wouldn't be hard for the chinese to put a micro cam in there

All those gooks are addicted to asshole poop porn

It blow dries your asshole

You're both trolling...

Shut up and stop spraying so much water into your anus

>"I never wash my ass, not even in the shower, that's gaaaaay!"
>"Maybe wash your ass? You probably smell like ass."
>"ShUt Up YoU'rE TrOlLiNg!"
I don't know what I expected, talking with an Americ*n.

Have I mentioned how straight I am yet? I dont want to give anyone the wrong ideas here. Im straight, you see?