Ok Jow Forums, here's an idea

Gonna be posting updates both here and on my discrap server.
>discrap.gg/HKxJse9
Come on Anons, we have to do this again

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>nobody is that stupid
user, I..

3D user here again, with the first update
>it begins
I'm already smiling like an idiot

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I believe in you 3D user. Thank you for sharing your progress. I am thankful.

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Join my discrap, I'm posting updates frequently there, user.

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>Jow Forums can design an iPhone from scratch in under an hour
Autism is magic.

Why do you faggot /b/tards always use the quote function like that? What do you even think it means? Do you just like the funky green colour it gives your text. Seriously, kid, just head straight the fuck back to /b/. I beat you use Windows, too. You make me sick.

Instead of saying users will be rewarded with special emojis, you should put some BS about how it causes the electrons to align or something, slightly charging the battery. And the higher the drop, the more charge you get

Not your safe space.

Not your board.

Where is it?

>>discrap.gg/HKxJse9

>t. SEETHING itoddler

Incase any of you wanted to see what my autism powers can accomplish, here you go
youtube.com/watch?v=KrqlyZOHHHw

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or rather than that, say that slamming a dead iphone really hard into another iphone (as in screen to screen flush contact) will split the charge and charge the dead one's battery. That way you get some idiot to break 2 iphones and potentially ruin friendships because one of them broke the other's phone.

YES
Definitely including this

epic buzzwords now back to your containment board

that's bad come on no one is that stupid
this one sounds at least a bit legitimate

Holy shit...

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Maybe we can do something with wireless charging?

put on your stoves plate for heat charging
too similiar i guess

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In case thread goes rekt, join the discrap

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Slowly, it evolves

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>hey guys here's a great idea, how about we come up with a good idea?

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...Maybe not slowly, very fast actually.

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Some sort of kinetic charging
Tap it on your desk or shake it to charge
Maybe convince people that you can get extra battery be smacking it against something to force the battery juices towards the recover. Use some awful fuel tank, measurement analogy.

Something akin to rocket fuel being pushed towards the engine could be done well with some super faggy modern ad

>"In response to samsung's exploding batteries, Apple is pushing out a new way to keep your battery from overheating. We call it 'Manual Liquid cooling'. This method is done by placing a charging iphone inside liquid. The Thermal panels on the outside allow heat to transfer form the inside components into the water surrounding it. We hope to keep charging iphones from overheating with this new method"

this is good

poke holes into your battery to prevent it from overheating

>Manual Liquid Cooling
kek
Does Apple EVER reference PC? Would “Technology from high-end/enthusiast PCs comes to iPhone” sound too fishy? Especially given that you can’t even legally build your own mac.

didn't work the last time
getting there

i don't think this sounds real enough to work
apple doesn't acknowledge their competitor's failures
plus samsung batteries have exploded for a while now

Tell em to fill their lightning port with something for extra waterproofing, glue or something, or let them throw their phones in a tub of water and sand with the SIM slot open

just brainstorming here

>spinning engergy
[insert adversary text]
might scratch some users back, but won't kill phones.

>heat energy
[insert adversary text]
use a lighters flame for burn marks> bonus points for making it on the display (if it doesn't recover; kudos to jerryrigseverything)

There is now an sd card slot hidden in 'X' component. Get to it by prying it open with a screwdriver

new hidden feature: unbreakable screen [outdoor screen]
(refinemt needed, just a crude direction giving text following) Due to our behind the screen technology which adds a buffer before pressure to the screen is exposed, the screen is virtually indestructable. the mechanic allows the screen to "get pushed in". Additionally we use the new Hardened Retina™ Display to prevent the hardest of materials to create any dents.
try it by smashing a hammer on it!

Made it as a wallpaper, 1920x1080

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why would i use this as wallpaper?
good skills, but still a shitty ugly product.

Good job user, looks great

do you ever go out?

Sounds good. Maybe drop the Samsung part. Also, droo the 'we hope'. Apple never hopes, they're always convincing with their statements.

The kinetic charging thing sounds stupid enough to work, but needs proper embellishment. Spout some Genius Bar jargon about the latest update and call it "AppleCharge" or "FitMove" or something that strikes the proper balance between onions, the future, and corporate talk.

Then make the analogy to a self-winding watch to explain how it works and tell the normies that the phone charges itself perpetually as you move. Hype it up as a hidden feature. "But did you know that in an emergency you can even jump-start the battery? Slam it against a desk or hard object. This won't damage the shatterproof screen- but should supply you just enough juice to send a text or make an important phone call."

Use bubbly non-threatening emojis, some synth tune background music, and solid color display washes for the bg to explain the features. Shill it up as a BrightSide style youtube clickbait video that normies watch to feel smart.

Say they can stand on their phone and say "Hey siri, how much do I weigh?"

Following on with what thr other user said, some shit along the lines of

>Ever finding you're needing to send that special someone a cute photo on social media, but are low on battery? Posting that last Tweet? Browsing for that final piece of clothing for your glamorous outfit?
>With our innovative new technology, [some gay applel-tier shit name], you'll never find yourself in that situation.
>Be careful not to overuse this style of charging, however. We are always pioneering innovative technologies, yet with this ground-breaking style of charging, we are still working out all the kinks.

This could probably be more suited to the new iPad.
Some shit about god-tier build quality, and you could probably unironically fool somebody into standing on their shiny new tablet.

I like this. How about hitting you iphone's screen with another iphone's edge/corner?

'This way, the new kathode (whatever) battery discharges some electrons onto another battery. This technology is so simple, yet so powerful, because it allows people to, quite literally, share energy'

Making an Apple styled 1 minute long advert in a few days, everything I just listed will likely be in there.
This is my final post before I sleep, I hope to see you all soon, anons.
>it's happening.

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Regenerative glass. Trick them into making huge scratches.

Apple marketing is nothing like this and you didn't even say what the trick method is. Try again once you grow your mental capabilities beyond parroting things you read on the internet.

well they did buy an iPhone so...

Daily reminder that Jow Forums can't program

New Apple invincible and waterproof IP68 case gets the whole new feature of charging the battery by creating miniature microfusions.

How does it work:
(somebody should write some gibberish about semi-conductors)

Ok,

As the iPhone is being fully submerged into a water, our new patented semiconductor fabric surrounding the case gets to use the energy from the microwaves in the water and make it a usable energy that can power your battery..

4cham is muh skrit club

Think different, put your phone into a water.

"Siri, how do I join IS*S?" will trigger a new easter egg developed by Steve Jobs a fews day before he died.

Aren't all flagships waterproof now?

yeah, most are actually waterproof (including iphones)