Fuck the best programming language. What is the language that will impress people the most...

Fuck the best programming language. What is the language that will impress people the most? What language will get people's jaws dropping like your mother's panties when they realize a program's code is in that language?

Assembly, C, Java, Python, Go, C++, C#, Ruby are obviously out of consideration. Asm will make people think you're a weirdo, not a genius. C and C++ have the whole smart people thing going on but they are too popular and too many people know those languages to really make an impression.

So which one is it, Jow Forums?

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ada_(programming_language)
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Haskell.

Haskell is suitably alien in appearance to those who have only used C's syntactic derivatives like Python and Javascript, and it carries some amount of prestige in its name. Racket looks strange too, but it doesn't have the geek clout of Haskell. That said, Haskell is actually a really simple language, so much so that using it can feel very clumsy at times. I prefer OCaml and Rust btw

Redstone

this
it has a reputation of being a language by geniuses for geniuses
whether that's a fair description is left up to the reader but it's probably the one language that people associate the most with smart people

Julia

Haskell, just take a look at the libraries like Lens and see how much insanity/genius can be written in it.

Pure zsh

Your own.

Zsh only (it has modules for tcp etc) and llvm ir

The only right answer is COBOL. It looks strange, is a little verbose. But most importantly, lots of old banking software needs to be maintained, and only a handful of people in the world knows COBOL. You can earn some serious cash if you get a foot through the door.

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I want to MAKE YAOI LOVE with Link

Batch

You look at %%%a and tell me what the everloving fuck all of those %'s are doing there. Which devil/moron/madman designed batch?

You could consider Forth but it's so niche that people won't even know what's that. It's a cute stack-based language. It was popular with simple microprocessors because it fits stack machine well.

We all do.

remember, faggot, even though you're now going to look haskell up after reading this thread: you're still a brainlet

The really exotic languages will also make people think that you are a weirdo. I think C and C++ are actually the most impressive to the majority.

Are we talking public majority, or majority of programmers? If it's the former, just make the background black, the text soft green, and program something that outputs some 3D plot.

same dude
i wanna fucking kiss him

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ada_(programming_language)

You could also learn VHDL and program FPGA:s to do something cool. Nothing makes panties explode faster than a home made SNES-emulator running Zelda.

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Based on that pic it seems like something any programmer worth their salt could pick up in an afternoon

Do most people use VHDL? In uni I only used Verilog.

lazarus lol, only idiot would use it

As far as I am aware, Verilog is pretty much still industry standard, though slowly shifting towards VHDL.

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Well, if they really know how a computer works at a low level, then yes, maybe. Otherwise it will be hard to create anything useful with an FPGA.

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i want to fuck his armpit

Lisp and Prolog.

i wanna watch him get blacked while he's in chastity

get blacked by Ganon?

brainfuck.

close contenders.

i want to eat his smelly ass and let him shoot his cum down my throat so i choke

Asm

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>Prolog
That's mandatory in college here.
What a shit language.
It's easy, but it's really not useful...

dis nigga postin' beans

>Asm will make people think you're a weirdo, not a genius.
If you're trying to impress non-programmers, they will think you're a genius if you can ping google from the command line. Or possibly, open the command line. cd code optional. And they will think you're a weirdo regardless.

Programmers, either asm or Haskell.

You said not asm, but fuck you. Asm is definitely an impressive one, ESPECIALLY if its for a non-mainstream architecture.

Which version?

I've used mostly Ada83. It's the language that my Uni used to teach programming (80's to 90's). I've also used Ada95 a little.

FUCK YOU MOM

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Fortran77

Why is assembly out of consideration? What about Assembly using the most complex of all CISC architectures, VAX Assembly?

Idris. It's more intense than Haskell, and occasionally will require you to use an interactive theorem prover.

APL

malboge

Prolog

There is a video of that

Languages with an advance type system: Coq, Idris, Mercury, Haskell, etc.
Languages that look inscrutable: APL, K, J, etc.
Low-level languages if you actually master them: x86_64 assembly, C, Forth, GLSL.
Huge fucking languages: C++, Scala, Common Lisp.

SytemVerilog > VHDL > Verilog

Verilog is industry standard and common for ASICS. VHDL is more common in Europe and things contracted by the US Government, VHDL is also more common for FPGAs.. Verilog and VHDL usage has been falling in favor of SystemVerilog. Personally, VHDL is much nicer to use once you get used to the different syntax and static typing because there's some weird non-deterministic stuff that goes on with Verilog. SystemVerilog offers a lot more features than VHDL and Verilog and the synthesizable subset has most of the features of VHDL.

BASIC. No contenders.

...

Gay