"Oh you're a programmer? I have an idea for a million dollar app. If you make it...

>"Oh you're a programmer? I have an idea for a million dollar app. If you make it, I'll give you a 50% cut of all the profit."
OK, what's the app?
>"Well, it's like Facebook, but-"

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>it's like Uber but for... (fill the gap)

>I can handle the business side

I worked for a guy that wanted a Facebook for music and I swear that project was way too big. He wanted 2 programmers to do the work of 10-20.

facebook itself was thought up when microsoft myspace, google orkut, and others were already in high scale normie usage in many countries

>I'm the idea guy

damn Linux has a thick neck

anyone know his routine?

I thought there was a site for exactly that.

Mu tells me it's Bandcamp/Soundcloud

i'll do the logo then

I'm an MBA

I already did the logo sweetie

Linux is a kernel.

>"Oh you're a programmer? I have an idea for a million dollar app. If you make it, I'll give you a 50% cut of all the profit."
OK, what's the app?
>"Well, it's like Unix, but-"

Exponential growth right

The app is for get the mom of OP

Yeah he does look like he has served in the army

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Linux is an operating system

That's Mr. GNU/Linux to you, friendo.

Isn't that what modern day MySpace is?

Here's the design I want. Do you think you could spruce it up a bit?

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>Sure will split 50%, oh what's that? You didn't patented the idea nor trade marked it... It would have been so great if it wasn't for the fact that there no proof you came up with it

>I can handle the diddlylift side

Shitty

Actually happened to me.

Got contacted by an highschool classmate after 8 years since the last time we saw each other the last day of school.

"I have a great idea for an app, it's gonna be great, we're gonna get rich and you'll have a slice of the pie"
>"It's like pokemon go, but without the pokemon, but..."
I told him 500$ a day or GTFO and he kinda understood.

uniroinically had my uncle say this to me about a month ago
>its like google maps but for travellers

>it also injects you with heroin through a peripheral device.
Nah, I give up. How can you make something more evil than faceborg? Can't beat dem CIA niggers.

>its like google maps but for travellers
W-who does he think google maps if for...?

>that pic
Linux in a nutshell

You're too late. Holochain is in full development and progressed quite far already. Sorry fren.

>Holochain
lmao

he probably meant something thats like google maps but can also be used in places without service, kinda nice to replace tons of paper maps but then might aswell take em since most smartphone gps lean on cell towers to position you

there you go friend

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Just get a GPS at that point

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>"Look, it won't even take that much time. I even made the wireframe for you. $150 should be enough for 6 days work right?"

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>its like gps but...

>"Looking good so far- but... it also needs to book flights. That shouldn't be too hard, right? You just need to buy tickets for people, but make that into a program. There is probably a HTML library for that. Also, can you make it so that the app will email you your password to you if you forget it? It's super annoying that it makes a new password for you every time. This can be one of our big selling points."

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I'd rather use an OS that would tell me what's wrong when I ask for it rather than a pic related cesspool of retarded code

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reminds me of this

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ISLEY,ISLEY,ISLEY.
YOU NEVA LURN MAN.

Aren't you the perma-T rex from Jow Forums?

>we can always hire some overseas contractors to help speed things up.

t. Ranjesh

Holy shit demolish that vehicle before it starts screaming

last.fm?

Autofellatio

Its the linux bottleneck.

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>I'll manage all things community side

Pacman -Syu 10 times a day

what book did linus torvalds read to make linux?

But Google maps even offers that, you can download maps to be used in offline mode

>$5000 no lowballers no test drives. I know what I have

>"it's a webshop with hundreds of items and categories with mobile app in mind"
>"you can do it for $300 right?"
>no
>"well I have a friend who can do it for $300"
>...
>"so $350?"
I will never understand these people

>"Then hire your friend for 300$ and call me when he's done as I wanna see it too"

You can't parent "ideas". Everyone can come up with ideas.

These types of people are the absolute worst.

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Be fat 3xF

That's the point, the whole "I give the idea therefore we split profit 50-50" is retarded as the fact that the idea came from you is deniable.

>do my project for free
>whoa you just lose some business here kiddo
that's quality retardation

E X P O S U R E
X
P
O
S
U
R
E

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Classic boomer

>26m
>23m
Damn user how could you make him wait so long? His million dollar idea has no room for slowpokes like you.

sweaty*

>Do you think you could spruce it up a bit?
Here you go.

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Holy shit, literally this. Everytime i get this thing said to me I feel like a portion of my being dies.

>you can't patent ideas

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See yourself out

>beta test a site that was supposed to be facebook without the botnet, and tumblr without the cancer
>shuts down after a year because of lack of funds

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holy fuck

Just get storage and download the maps...

Prostitutes

that already exists

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Sorry, bro but most of them do it for free.

I'd be like "No, give me an hourly rate up front."

Because no app idea is ever as brilliant as the person who came up with it thinks it is. Anyone smart enough to come up with a million dollar app is probably also smart enough to write it themselves. If I take 50% profits, it's far more likely to be 50% of $0 rather than 50% of $1 million.

goole say it is woman

-blockchain.

this is how people get shit done faggots, you think Edison was a STEM fag?

Most non shit phones have really good gps sensors, mine is honestly a crutch when I'm backpacking thanks to apps like osmand

Turns out botnet and cancer is what makes money.

Anyone want an idea for mobile game?

Nobody ever says that. You just cut contact with them immediately then.

The worst is when they pull you along pretending to wanting to hire you for contracting and then it turns out it's just them doing a long winded shared profits deal.

That's why you have a rigid form for giving a quotation or you charge for it. Any minor sum is fine. I bet 10$ could scare these people away.

>tfw no one want my idea even for free

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Ok, I will leave the idea before I go to sleep in case someone decided to work on it.
I'ts a clicking game lie cookie clicker, but instead of making cookies you slap a face. You must choose your country and the country of the slapped face. the game will keep records of all the slapping around the world and every time you open the game it shows you which country slapped yours the most.

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>add polandball meme

heres a good one like that for delivery drivers. Plug in multiple stops that gives you routes with only right turns and sends you to the stops closest to one another first.

>neighbour has a moving business that uses this thing that scans rooms so he has a good idea of the amount of shit he needs to carry without having to individually measure everything
>it costs like $30 a use
>"Hi user, I have a job for you, I want you to make me this except it gets the dimensions from videos in real time. Neural network APIs are out there so you can do it, right?"

>"instead of it being for people's faces, it's for their assholes."
Great idea! I love anal.

You know, Brasil would be sore before the app even made it to the app store.

>I'm not paying for a website that's going to be free to visit
>that doesn't make sense

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Make it so you can only slap 10 faces every hour unless you pay 5 bucks for 100 extra slaps and you have yourself a profitable app.

Have super slaps that you need to pay $1 each for, they make the screen shake and make bright flashing lights.

no, make the phone vibrate, too.

Fake.

Smooci

Ingress??

Oh man this thread brought up an old memory.

>on craigslist looking for new place to live.
>mention how I like to do computer programming as a hobby.
>receive a email from a girl
>asian name
>oh this might be a qt3.14
>started having thoughts of coding sessions with her
>ok once I snapped out of fantasy land I read her email
>texted her
>5 minutes later she calls me
>we are talking on the phone
>she mentions how she has an idea for a app
>mfw pic related.
>we talk some more
>she tells me to send a selfie
>I said I rather not
>her response "eww, are you ugly?"
>hung up on her

>googled her name and found her profile
>she has more plastic than a honda
>dating a nigger

Wew lad glad I dodged that one.

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Underrated post.

Thank God. Let me never deal with the public

MINIX