Bidets are technology.
Do you have a bidet? Which one, and how is it? I recently upgraded to a BioBidet Slim One (pic related) from a generic $20 attachment, and the difference is unbelievable; mechanical nozzle, heated water and seat, the works.
Would definitely recommend a full seat to an attachment, it's well worth the extra money.
No, I shit in a hole in my backyard.
Get fucked windowstard, I won't install your botnet, my hole in the ground works just as fine, and it's free.
>splash water on your ass and balls
>have to dry it off with paper anyway
only slant-eyes would use it, because they are retarded as fuck
>walking around with wet ass
No, thanks
Real talk, squat toilets are a nightmare.
Why does it shine blue light on your shit
>he doesn't have shining blue shits
Fucking brownshitters.
>not sitting there on your phone while you wait for it to dry
Imagine spending a thousand dollars just to spray water on your ass after a shit.
Where is the toilet paper?
They work if they are reversed so water actually flushes the shit and the loo doesn't counterattack when you poo
The toilet attachment is like $30 faggot
Well this picture is not what I meant because you're supposed to face the handle but you got what I meant
What do you think the bucket's for, user? You fill it with water and clean your butthole that way. If you're lucky they'll have a hose.
Okay, that's not what OP has. This garbage costs a grand, just to tickle your pervy ass.
>bucket
The bin you mean.
That's also not what OP has, retard.
I think it's good for public bathrooms because you don't have to sit on it and get all the germs in your ass.
>what do you need a bidet for
>says primitive retard who cleans shit off his hands with paper towels
just buy one of these you fucking retards
I DON"T EVEN KNOW HOW TO DRIVE ONE FAGGOT!
I've had a Luxe and a Brondell attachment before. The Luxe was pretty good, lasted a few years no issues. The Brondell broke after a month and started leaking everywhere.
bought one of those 30 dollar luxe ones with the metal hose. best 30 bux i spent in my life probably. no more swamp ass . no more hemorrhoids or anal fissures, no infected tissue from wiping too much. its surreal when your ass is the cleanest part of your body.
love the "pressure" control which is just what level of shit rending ass sundering you want because even a millimeter of turned on is full throttle.
I wipe my ass with rubbing alcohol, and/or wet wipes, so I never had any of these problems.
>I wipe my ass with rubbing alcohol
>I wipe my ass with rubbing alcohol
That doesnt even clean you properly, use this instead.
wet wipes destroy my septic and cost a small fortune to actually use consistently. the bidet saves a fortune and is essentially the same but less shit wiping on your end.
>its surreal when my asshole is the cleaner than your dinner plate.
They can be nice, but because they're usually found in third world shitholes (heh), they have third world shithole aesthetics.
i wish i had a home or apartment so i could get one
I've thought about buying one of these but I don't know how to explain it to anybody in real life. Already get called a queer and a goatfucker due to the assblaster
Only if you're a whiteboi with weak heels who can't into squatting.
also forgot the worst part of being a bidet fag is having to cope with not having bidets.
it was bad enough shitting in public places but now that you know the feeling of a truly clean ass you also have the cognizance of an unclean ass.
>is essentially the same
It's not the same. Alcohol can clean thermal paste to ass turds, and it's able to kill bacteria while preventing infections to your anus hole.
I don't see how "buying" a bidet would save anyone any money since you could just hop in the tub, and sprinkle water on your bum without to get the same, or superior effect of a bidet without having to purchase a bidet.
Just do what I did: super nice bidet for at home, and a cheap attachment for the toilet at work. There's 90% of the places I'm likely to shit.
If I ever saw one of these instead of a normal fucking can I would shit right on the floor out of spite
Just carry a little bottle of rubbing alcohol with you, and wipe your booty clean after you wiping the shit from your ass.
>It's not the same. Alcohol can clean thermal paste to ass turds, and it's able to kill bacteria while preventing infections to your anus hole.
imagine thinking you evolved to rub alcohol on your asshole. you are intended to have bacteria back there and this will only leave to health problems and skin issues.
>I don't see how "buying" a bidet would save anyone any money since you could just hop in the tub, and sprinkle water on your bum without to get the same, or superior effect of a bidet without having to purchase a bidet.
Bidet seats/attachments save you time and money and remove the hassle of using your hand to clean shit off. Also you don't seem to understand how fucking hard these things spray water at your ass compared to a faucet. its literally a pressured blast of shit sundering aqua.
Don't be racist.
You could always just fold a bit of TP and drip a little water on it for a nice, clean USA wipe.
>a nice, clean USA wipe
>nice
>clean
>USA wipe
>clean
>USA wipe
>tp just tears and sticks to your asshole more than usual.
fucking neanderthal asswipers
>imagine thinking you evolved to rub alcohol on your asshole. you are intended to have bacteria back there and this will only leave to health problems and skin issues.
I don't have any issues with my tight butthole user, and you need bacteria inside your intestines not ON your asscheeks retard.
>its literally a pressured blast of shit sundering aqua.
My house came with a tub that I can wash my ass in with soap, and water if I need to do, so, and my asshole is lickably clean, because I uwipe it with rubbing alcohol, so buying a bidet just seems irresponsible to me.
>my asshole is lickably clean, because I uwipe it with rubbing alcohol
user, where are you getting "a little water" if you're in a generic USA toilet stall?
what kind of third world chucklefuck education did you get where bacteria don't exist on your exterior.
how exactly do you think skin infections are prevented.
maybe stop drinking petrol and wiping your ass with alcohol.
Good thing they don't sell whatever the fuck "petrol" is in the United States.
don't pretend to live in the land of the free you 71% asshole
The one at my job has a tiny hand wash station in the stall. So people can clean their shit-stained hands before they leave.
>sink in the stall
waht the fuck are you in some billionaire arab palace company
It's for handicapped people, so this checks out entirely.
>what kind of third world chucklefuck education did you get where bacteria don't exist on your exterior.
Getting this angry, because you got called out for being retarded.
1. Bacteria from from fecal matter causes you to smell you stink ridden fuck, and I have less bacteria on the exterior of my pooper, because I wipe with rubbing alcohol, and my ass is literally cleaner than yours.
>how exactly do you think skin infections are prevented.
Not by smearing wet feces all over it you fucking caveman.
>maybe stop drinking petrol and wiping your ass with alcohol.
Why are you so angry that my hygiene is better than yours?
>sperging out this hard over your autistic and borderline insane ass cleaning
what proof do you use pussy
anything less than 99 is pathetic
This man is correct. I park my butt in the handi-stall while the wheelchair guy fumes. I swear the shitter-cops are gonna give me a ticket one day.
>Jow Forums
>thread about cleaning your ass after taking a shit
I used to be afraid of this until I learned my anus actually extends out of my body like one of those alien miniature mouths when I take a shit.
I am convinced that this is a debilitating and crippling affliction that warrants using the cripplecrapper
Better than shaved man-legs in stockings.
just what the fuck is the difference between socks and stockings? is it the length?
true
I prefer hydrogen peroxide
We have the cleanest, and healthiest assholes in this thread.
Pic related is an *actual* bidet.
The one in the OP is some kind of nippon-american abomination.
I never understood Euro-style (standalone) bidets. Why would you waste all that space? All that extra plumbing? And to you it, do you walk over holding your cheeks apart to keep shit from smearing everywhere before you...squat down uncomfortably?
Europe really has the worst ideas.
>having a second toilet just for the purpose of washing your ass
that nippon abomination is the next evolutionary step in ass cleansing and is superior in every way.
>*actual*
yeah nah, regular nippon bidet is better than that.
>I would shit right on the floor out of spite
sasuga pajeet
>you could just hop in the tub, and sprinkle water on your bum
now imagine your leftover shit dirtying your tub instead of just the toilet bowl.
Let's get back on track. What's the best
Wipe your tub with rubbing alcohol, and your all set.
or you could just use bidet and don't have to worry about shit stained tub
see
>mfw it's only cost around $30 and some people still won't buy them
JUST
Or you could just learn how to wipe your ass properly, and then wipe it with rubbing alcohol for good measure.
Even if you use a bidet you should still wipe your ass with alcohol just for good measure.
> Why would you waste all that space?
It is not wasted space, it's space used for a purpose. I can't speak for all euros, but we Italians like our bathrooms large and comfortable, kinda like how americans make oversized kitchens for some reason.
>And to you it, do you walk over holding your cheeks apart to keep shit from smearing everywhere before you...squat down uncomfortably?
It's right next to the toilet, and has basically the same form-factor, not uncomfortable at all to use.
Also, remember that the bidet complements the toilet paper, it does not replace it. There's also a designated towel used to wipe your ass once you're done.
>that nippon abomination is the next evolutionary step in ass cleansing and is superior in every way.
We have a more frugal taste... there's no need for a bidet to kiss your ass, sing jingle bells and call you goshujin-sama while you're doing your business.
Also, the true european bidet doesn't need electricity to operate.
>you should still wipe your ass with alcohol just for good measure
Or maybe don't wipe your ass with alcohol at all?
just get the luxe or whatever the fuck they've got on amazon for 30-50 bucks. most of them are practically identical. make sure you get one with the metal tubing though. the plastic ones have a tendency to rot
Sounds like some homosexual fetishist nonsense
Are you legitimately retarded do you know what putting rubbing alcohol on your skin repeatedly like that does, especially near your anus?
>Or maybe don't wipe your ass with alcohol at all?
Then you'll have a dirty ass you dumb fucking mong. If your goal was to have a dirty ass in then why even bother wiping, or sprinkling water on it?
>Even if you use a bidet you should still wipe your ass with alcohol just for good measure.
This is definitely better than merely wiping your ass with alcohol wipes. I bet your average americans only use regular toilet paper to wipe their ass and be done with it.
you realize there are attachments that aren't 900 dollar heated seats that make safari noises to cover your thunderous anal eruptiobn right while projecting ultraviolet light on your poopoo.
the seat attachments make sense. there is no need for a seperate mini toilet to clean your ass fucking paki.
big fucking jap brains combining the functionality of the bidet with the already existing toilet seat. protip they don't REQUIRE electricity either. thats only for freaky shit like the 1000 dollar seats.
a single 30 dollar attachment provides all the utility of your vestigial toilet with none of the inconveniences of it.
Tsk tsk user, thats cultural appropriation
thats what everybody says until they realize they have lived like a backwards fucking savage gorilla nigger for their entire lives.
it also doubles half assed enema device if you ever have trouble shitting, it can make it so much easier.
That's not a real bidet. Water is supposed to come like this.
I saw one of those in Europe and how are you supposed to wipe your ass?
Explain to the thread the horrors of wiping your ass with rubbing alcohol to keep your cheeks feces AND pimple free.
This is definitely better than merely wiping your ass with alcohol wipes.
The bidet is the unecessary step here user.
This is the proper workflow:
>shit
>wipe ass clean with TP
>wipe ass again with alcohol on tp until squeaky clean
>spread cheeks in prone so other anons in public restrooms can admire the cleanest asshole in the fucking galaxy
Why do bidets have a stopper?
Europeans are short, so they usually don't use a tall, standalone sink like we might. The bidet is also a sink for the Euro.
>that fucking fairy brush tinkle of a spray
what the fucks even the point lmao, that isn't going to clean some of the fouler shits.
the attachments can shoot fucking water 20 feet.
are you one of those clowns that actually thought putting alcohol on their face prevented pimples instead of irritating the skin and causing even worse problems.
its like a number of companies got massive lawsuits for peddling that information 20 years ago while being fully aware of the harm it did.
I'd tell you to google it but you're clearly unhinged and or retarded so god bless ignorant alcoholic ass rubber.
there is no hope for anti-bidet people
When euro bois have to adjust their chastity cages small parts can sometimes fall off and this catches them
you'd think this is a joke but its so they can pool the water and use their hands to wipe... shit off their ass... by putting their hands in the shit water... to clean shit off their ass into the shit infested water thats been stoppered.
Are you one of those clowns that proudly walk around with a dirty ass, and for some reason look down on people with cleaner asses?
european version of bidet is honestly weird.
>wipe ass clean with TP
>wipe ass again with alcohol on tp until squeaky clean
>spread cheeks in prone so other anons in public restrooms can admire the cleanest asshole in the fucking galaxy
now THAT'S some homosexual fetishist nonsense
I thought they only used it to wash their feet or something. Water coming DOWN and having to use your hand to wipe your ass is retarded.
>>wipe ass clean with TP
>>wipe ass again with alcohol on tp until squeaky clean
Sometimes I do this without having to poop. It's just refreshing.
>now THAT'S some homosexual fetishist nonsense
Stop getting turned on by my clean tight freshly wiped asshole faggot.
This is the only right type of Bidet
Cheap - hose and nozzle
easy to install - literally attaches to your existing plumbing
no bullshit\
the Thinkpad of bidets
Idk, I never use that type of bidet.
literally every pro you listed is fulfilled by the attachment class of bidet.
the difference is you dont have to spray water all over the place and then have it spray on your hand while you hose down brown town