I don’t have anybody to vent to about my problems so I figured this is the next best thing. Hope I’m not much of a burden to you guys.
School started up again on sept. 4th and my mental health has slowly been declining ever since then.
My now deceased pet rat died on July 24th at 11:34 am. He was my whole world, my everything and I haven’t been happy ever since he died. I’ve been considering suicide pretty much ever since his death. About a month after he passed away I got two new pet rats but all they do is remind me of him, and I start crying uncontrollably whenever I walk into my room and see them in the same cage my beloved baby was kept in.
Ever since I stopped taking my antidepressants during the summer (because they were doing jack-shit) I haven’t felt hungry at all, so now I can go for days on end, forgetting to eat, and feel no hunger pains whatsoever. Eating feels like a chore to me now and I don’t see the point in eating anything anymore. And it’s not related to any body image issues, because I really do like the way I look.
Another not very important but thing that really bugs me and makes me feel extremely uncomfortable is when people mistake me for a guy, online and irl. I got my hair cut shorter last winter because during ski season it’s not very nice to have long hair in your mouth and eyes every 2-5 minutes when your going down a mountainside. My hair also doesn’t grow very fast so it’s pretty much as short as it was last year. During spring break my family and I went on a trip to the states. I wear loose clothes most of the time because they’re comfortable and paired with my short hair and slightly masculine face shape, people obviously mistook for a guy every single time we checked into a motel, restaurant or hotel. It made me incredibly uncomfortable especially when they do a double take and don’t know if I’m an dude or femanon.
Thanks for listening fellow anons, hope you’ve had a better year than I have.
Your antidepressants were working yo. They take about a month to ramp up and a couple months to wear off. Taking them is better than offing yourself. Get back on them. Trust me, they help, but ever so slightly.
As far as school goes I don't know what to tell you. Go see a school counselor maybe? I fucked uni up pretty good myself but went back about 4 years late and scraped by just because I was older and used to working shit jobs. Going to college at 19 is the pits. You need some real world experience.
Also flat tomboys are hot as fuck. I'd love to date a tomboy. Go find a BF and he'll love you to death.
Blake Price
>HAHA GUISE I'LL SAY IM A GIRL BUT INDIRECTLY AND MY RAT DIED PLS GIBE HUG IM GRILL >3 replies within a minute >>>/crystal.cafe/ Go back your fellow stacies are waiting
At the time I stopped taking them I was on them for about 6 or so months, didn’t see a change. But my mum doesn’t want me to go on any more because she had bad experiences when she was my age, so now she only lets me have homeopathic medication bs.
As for school I’m extremely socially anxious, to the point where I have anxiety attacks if I talk to anybody that isn’t already my friend or family. And because of that I’m pretty much completely socially inept at this point. So getting help from a counsellor is pretty much out of the question.
Jackson Carter
Look dude I’ve never had any female friends before and I don’t intend to. They’re too much work and all the grills at my school at normalfags
Camden Evans
>my now deceased pet rat died on July 24th at 11:34am
god damn this is dramatic, were you holding his hand while on his deathbed at the time too?
Well, at least you have sense enough not to post this on r9k I'll give you that
Isaac Ramirez
Can’t blame ya.
Him dying is part of why I want to off myself, but not not all of it. There’s more but I would just be called a drama whore for it.
Tyler Walker
>Implying people don't already call you that So. Might as well get it all out. If you ironically believe the "girls are too much to deal with".. well. You sound underaged.
Noah Morgan
This bitch sounds exactly like my sister and I hope her parents don't have a hard time dealing with her self entitled princess horseshit. Also my ex used to feel suicidal when her cat had to be put to sleep forever but growing close to a pet is a mistake in the first place. Humans can be asshole but they last sixty years more or so.
Gavin Perez
She is underage you fucking idiot, no female adult would come onto Jow Forums to express her insecurities and shit, they would be smart enough to go and see a therapist and actually make change in their life
condolences for your pet rat, i'm sure he is in a better place now but you need to learn that what its the past stays in the past, stop latching onto it for so long, youll only end up hurting yourself more. even if its a chores, you need to eat. i don't care how small or big of a meal, make sure you eat 3 times a day. just because you feel numb, doesn't mean the pain isn't there and when it does surface, you'll be rolling on the floor, screaming in pain. its kinda contradicting saying how you "like the way you look" but then you feel uncomfortable when others mistake you for a guy. stop giving a shit about how others perceive you, you are your own person and you can mold yourself to be whatever you want.
Owen Hughes
Just hop back on it. It's one of those medicines where you HAVE to take them every single day or you'll lose the effect. If they weren't working get a bigger dose or change the type.
The only way to work on social anxiety is to work through it steadily to gain confidence in yourself. As a female you're lucky enough to be able to approach someone and still seem innocent, but if that's too much for you then buy a mic and find online friends. I gained enough confidence to be able to approach people IRL through streaming vidya and having internet friends.
As for the rest I didn’t have any friends until gr.4 so that’s partially why I’m dogshit at human communication. Diagnosed with depression in gr.5 mostly because my teacher literally bullied me, but probably also genetic because of my mum.One of my friends showed me beastiality porn in gr.6 and it pretty much completely corrupted me. Former “friend” basically bullied me into almost killing myself back in gr.7 also started cutting because of that but stopped a year later. My brother has anger issues and is a lil bit retarded, so he got most of the attention from my parents; but that’s understandable.
I don’t blame you guys for thinking I’m a drama whore, but I just need to get this out for once in my life.
Dylan Morales
The absolute state of normoid girls in denial Enjoy your ban
Tyler Collins
>Your true about me being underaged. good job outting yourself like an idiot see ya in a month
Alexander Hall
Oh no no no sweetie, enjoy that ban of yours. Never should’ve come here, vent your problems on /reddit9k/
>implying another attention whoring thread would make it better
Jaxon Allen
It takes just as much effort to be sad as it does to be happy. No matter how bummed out you are, you need to try and get better even if you don't have the motivation to do so. Do whatever you think will help, try medicine again, change something in your life, find a way to truly be happy or else you'll be stuck in an infinite loop that you can't get out of.
Remember this for me, fuck everything, not in a bad way but show the world you don't care and just do whatever you want, even if that means turning out to be a bad person, do whatever you want because at the end of the day who gives a fuck,
I only leave my room to go to school, take dinner into my room, or my mom wants to talk about how I’m doing at school or for other events, like Christmas or thanksgiving. And I take my dishes out when they’re asleep to avoid communicating because social anxiety. My parents couldn’t afford to take care of a self entitled bitchy princess so I try not to be one
Owen Campbell
>implying you aren't one of them
Eli Garcia
>implying
Jeremiah Campbell
>when they're asleep to avoid communicating WITH FUCKING PARENTS Therapy.
You know the difference between you and I? You'd get showered with love and compliments as soon as you'd step out of your house while I'd get covered with shit and told to man the fuck up. But thanks for the attention whoring anyway
Thanks for your condolences, I’m still grieving but since I was so attached to him it’s probably going to take along time. It was like losing a close family member to me.
I just don’t like how people perceive me, now that’s the difference.
Asher Kelly
Just get a new pet. Horrryfuck.
>I just don't like how people perceive Sounds like a YOU problem to me.
See that’s the problem, since I’m underage I can’t get medication or a higher dosage without parental consent.
I try to find friends online but I always fuck it up by saying and/or sending offensive stuff, I try not to but it always ends up happening. Even if I join an alt-right group chat or something of that sort I always end up fucking it up
I will, I really should get off here and come back in a few years.
Evan King
Don't. We have enough attention whores ruining this website.
Liam Lee
It’s true, I wish it wasn’t that way but it is.
I know no one asked for this but for the record I go for unattractive/socially autistic guys not to potentially prevent a school shooting but because I really do find that they’re attractive. Theres not very many femanons that find 1, 2 or 3/10 dudes genuinely attractive. That’s probably why I never relate to Stacy’s saying how “hot chad is”
Maybe one day you’ll find someone that cares the same way you do about them, I really do hope the best for you. I’ll be on my way now
Noah Rivera
They’re literally like tiny cuter dogs
Jacob Cox
I did but she's too mentally deranged and passive. Unless you want to settle for a whiny bitch it's pretty much a wild goose chase and older girls know better.
Carson Price
I’m like 114 lbs. (43 kg.) or so but because I’m short it’s a healthy weight
Wyatt Peterson
Well I guess I’ll go be a dishwasher for the rest of my life then
Keep looking. There’s not just one or two types of grills, I would know, I am one
Brayden Flores
The other type is a cheating abusive whore I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole
Lincoln Hughes
There’s some hidden gems among the sea of roasties and normalfags. Keep looking and I think you’ll find a good one
Mason Russell
shit the fuck up retarded incel
Josiah Ward
Please refer to me as a dishwasher, I am not worthy of the incel title
Nicholas Clark
damn you girls(also i'm not believing this) are fucking wierd, just man up, pussy, lmao
Austin Murphy
I don’t blame you for thinking I’m a guy, as I said people think I’m a dude all the time
Landon Kelly
what are you actually anxious of when interracting with people?
Adrian Powell
You know how to ski and go regularly enough to change your look to make it more pleasant. You're doing better than me.
Dylan Gomez
I think it’s the fact that I fuck up almost every conversation I have w/ people and hating myself for it so I’ve subconsciously blocked myself from hating myself by getting anxious before I screw it up. But social anxiety is also partially genetic, and since my mom and little brother are also really anxious I assume it’s a mix of the two
Joshua James
Sad, but thanks. :)
I hope you can find a physical activity that you enjoy in the near future.
i was like this before do some fight club shit and create a chad version of you who's everything you want to be. pretend to be this chad, and boom you will become chad also realise that everybody is going to forget about you and every interaction you've had with them eventually so it's ok if you fuck it up it's probably better if you do fuck it up because then they'll remember you and you'll live on in their memory as the weirdo nobody cares about you as much as you care about yourself: think about last stranger you saw, how much can you remember about them? think of something and devote yourself to it. for me it's motorbikes, I decided one day "yes. I will like this now." just b ureself lol and most importantly: you are the marble and the sculptor; you can make yourself into chad if you try hard enough.
Thank you so much, it really does touch my heart that people can actually be nice. I still do have a lot to see and do before I off myself eventually. But for now I’m not going to.
Jace Lewis
people aren't nice give me more (you)s please i feed off the attention London
Justin Ortiz
No (you)s for you
Joshua Lewis
>literally getting suicidal for a dead rat kys
Brandon Gutierrez
Jesus Christ can help you! Not these people on right..
