How the FUCK do I get rid of Windows Update for good?

>using Botnet 10
>suddenly out of nowhere
>GOY UPDATE TIME
>no piss off you kikes, do it when i want to do it
>NO GOY YOU NEED THIS UPDATE
>fine i'll do it in a few days
>NO GOY YOU ONLY HAVE 1 HOUR
>for fucks sake
>1 hour later
>update time
>GOY TIME TO SHUT EVERYTHING OFF OY GEVALT
>manage to postpone it
>send PC to sleep because I've got to go do something
>turn it on
>about 5 seconds later it crashes
>restart
>OY VEY UPDATE TIME GOY
>spends 2 hours updating at 100%
This is the fucking fifth or sixth time this has happened.
>shills updates
>decline
>crashes computer
>forced update
Fuck this, I don't know why I still use it.
I'll probably install gentoo, only problem is that you have to write all the software for it yourself.

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Other urls found in this thread:

nakedsecurity.sophos.com/2018/08/06/windows-10-updates-under-fire-from-unhappy-security-admins/
zdnet.com/article/windows-10-buggy-updates-our-patching-is-simple-regular-consistent-says-microsoft/
youtube.com/watch?v=z5ZTGIrjBsU
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Stop the Windows update service?

My favorite experience is the updates that fail to install after putting you through everything you detailed in your post.

You can't actually disable it in Win 10 for good. It'll just re-enable itself when you're not paying attention. So no permanent solutions, at least none that I'm aware of in Windows 10. They removed the ability from the menu itself.

Enterprise doesn't have this issue

It's fucking terrible, and I'm afraid that each time (((THEY))) crash my computer it'll end up corrupting something because I'm almost constantly uploading/downloading or writing to my drives.

I swear, fuck Kikerosoft. Imagine if they did this for their server versions on something that constantly writes sensitive information or is a NAS, crashing it and writing garbled data to everything. Not to ignore the fact that sudden power offs can be bad too.

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It is time to switch to Linux.

I guess, but I did at one point, distro-hopped for a while and gave up due to the fact that software for it is 1/10th of what exists for Windows. Might go back to Win 7 or XP.
Is it much different from the consumer-grade versions?

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sudo kill -9 wupdate.exe

They do. But they being technology literate people with jobs, they don't leave their computers on 24/7 and never installing updates and clicking "later" for weeks at a time leaving critical exploits unpatched. W10 forced updates were specifically made for retards like you who can't take care of your own computer.

>t. someone that's set their updates to 3am on Monday and has never seen an update screen for years now

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>Is it much different from the consumer-grade versions?
Slightly less pushy with updates, but the updates themselves, are no less hit or miss in terms of successfully installing.

You can set telemetry to the lowest setting (Security). You don't have Cortana or Candy Crush memes and it comes with minimal Metro apps which can be removed. You get full control over updates and can opt in to LTSB(C) if you don't care about feature updates. You don't get the Media Feature pack by default but it can be added in with a update. Those are the first things to come to mind but there are more.

But you see user, it's not a matter of keeping your computer maintained. It's a matter of ownerhsip and rights over the things you bought. I don't WANT these updates, and I never asked for them. Furthermore, I install only updates that I need, not the latest bloatware package that'll install 30 versions of Candy Crush onto your machine and there's no way to choose specific updates to download, which if you're computer literate you would understand is a retarded rule.
"All or nuffin".
Leenux it is then.
I went so far as to remove telemetry completely and remove Intel ME, disable Win 10 tracking and statistics and still keep getting occasional bloat installations and cortana keeps bugging me.

>they don't leave their computers on 24/7
I'm a fairly advanced user and I rarely leave my computer on when not in use. Years of ham-fisted security issues with Windows have made me borderline paranoid. To me it feels like leaving a retard alone in a room full of paper and a box of matches.

Same. Every once and a while I check Windows update to see if it is even doing anything, but it still shows it's updating. The only updates I notice are the major annual updates (and those are more voluntary on my end).

If you are having issues with updates, your PC is either shit, or you are shit with computers.

>if you are having issues with updates either your gear is shit or you're shit
Apple-tier logic.
>if you don't want these updates to bloat and slow down your shit you're stupid hurr durr
Why the fuck do I want 30 creator updates a year with office overhauls on an almost weekly basis?
As to >don't leave your computer on 24/7
Constantly powering it on and off is also bad. Just send your system to sleep or at least a partial shutdown.

>I went so far as to remove telemetry completely and remove Intel ME, disable Win 10 tracking and statistics and still keep getting occasional bloat installations and cortana keeps bugging me.

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Fuck off Microdick shill!

Let me guess OP, you are a NEET who does nothing all day long and instead of updating windows and maybe go take a shower or cook dinner in the meantime you continue to postpone the inevitable going out of your way just to make things more difficult for your buggy OS which is just trying to not get you infected with years old exploits, right?

>If you are having issues with updates, your PC is either shit, or you are shit with computers.
I don't know, man, I seem to remember a lot of public outrage over Windows updates coming from Sys Admins.
nakedsecurity.sophos.com/2018/08/06/windows-10-updates-under-fire-from-unhappy-security-admins/
zdnet.com/article/windows-10-buggy-updates-our-patching-is-simple-regular-consistent-says-microsoft/
I see a lot of issues after updates in my workplace, and I work for a multinational corporation with expert admins.

Windows sucks man, recently my install crashed with infamous blue screen of death. No amount of troubleshooting could fix this shit. Had to reinstall the OS again. Fuck em, I'll be switching to Manjaro Linux in some time.

Oh, you mean the same retards the refused to install the W7/W8 WannaCry patch that Microsoft released A YEAR before it actually hit?

Gee I wonder why that only affected W7 and W8 but W10 was completely immune.

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>spends 2 hours updating at 100%
I know this is exaggering but I swear I've had updates take more than 30 minutes total when you count the initial install and reboot process.

You really have to wonder what is actually happening during that time. Can it really take that long to replace some files? Are the Pajeets at MS just that garbage at coding? These are security updates too so it's not like it's rebuilding the whole GUI.

>my OS is trying to not get me infected with years old exploits
Yes, Microsoft Office's newest update and Candy Crush will certainly stop the next WannaCry, botnets and RATs.
Nice ad hominems by the way.
>shower in the morning, daily
>cook my own food
>working freelance with flexible hours

>wanting control over your hardware makes you a NEET

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>It's a matter of ownerhsip and rights over the things you bought.

If you use Windows, you basically agreed to their terms that they set with their OS policies in exchange for using the most widely adopted platform, which frankly, they tried giving people options to do updates themselves, which led to brainlets like you refusing to ever update and complain how "lul, look how insecure winblowz is ROFL".

If you disagree with how they do updates, don't use Windows and the market will respond. Windows would then either need to revert their policy, make their OS updates less impactful, or fail. No developer is going to put extra work in developing software for a non existent user base.

I don't think you can comprehend what we're talking about user. The problem here isn't the fact that you're offered updates, it's that you have NO POWER OVER WHAT UPDATES TO INSTALL.
>they think you are too stupid to think for yourself so they think for you
Literal dystopia.

I get that they "force" these updates so boomers don't have to bother learning about computers and can just get a cookie-cutter experience, but there should AT LEAST be a setting where I can change it to "not tech illiterate" so it gives me actual control over a product I PAID FOR.

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>How the FUCK do I get rid of Windows Update for good?

By getting rid of Windows.

Install Linux Mint. It's feels like windows. But it's also Unix-y. That makes it unironically better than Windows by default.

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>I know this is exaggering
Not him, but, I've experienced the same thing a couple of times on two different machines. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to it's cause.

I didn't. I actually bought Windows 10 BEFORE they made it a service, so I never thought that they'd turn it into a constantly updated rentable piece of software.
Also
>brainlets like you to refuse to update
Are you genuinely retarded or just blind?
I said that I want an option to be able to just install specific updates.
>can't choose whether to install Security update or latest Candy Crush, have to install both to be safe
That kind of logic is why we can't have nice thing anymore.
Only tech illiterates would screech "INSTALL EVERYTHING BECUZ IT'S ALL GOOD FOR YOU1!!!". As a user I have the right to choose the products that I use. That's literally the definition of a free market.

And as to "don't use windows", I posted in OP that I'll be switching to Leenux.

>actual control over a product I PAID FOR
t. boomer

It's the smartphone age, gramps. You're lucky that they even let you install any software yourself instead of just locking you to their store like apple.
(Although I'm sure they will correct that problem in due time)

Is it easy to use?
I specialize way more in hardware and to be fair don't know much 'bout Leenux.
How hard is it to install?

>I hate Windows so much, I'm definitely going to switch to Linux soon

Everyone in this thread

Bunch of whiny millennials complaining for major corporations to change for them

Either switch and shut up, or live with it and shut up. Microsoft doesn't care about you, just your money.

But that should be illegal, as it is a basic consumer right and is always assumed that when you pay for a product you get complete ownership of it and can modify it in whichever way you see fit as long as it does not infringe on contract to which you agreed. And having checked the Microsoft Terms of Service, it doesn't say anything about "you have no right to not-install updates".

>a setting where I can change it to "not tech illiterate"
Except only tech illiterate morons turn off updates, so that's actually a "tech illiterate" setting.

Windows updates never force install unless you've been putting them off and clicking "later" like s drooling retard for an entire fucking month.

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Listen. If you are going to use Windows then do the world a favor keeping it updated. You think you're edgey and cool hating Windows 10 updates but really you're just an annoying little brainlet dipshit spreading cancer and aids across the internets.

If you don't want Windows update then switch to a Linux distro and stop complaining you dumb piece of shit. You aren't smart, you're less tech savvy than your parents and a 3rd grader knows more than you. You wont amount to anything in life. Consider suicide you dumb Windows babby.

>mfw didn't pay for it
>mfw still forced to update
I thought the whole idea of paying for software is the fact that if you didn't you DON'T get updates.
>bunch of whiny millennials
>making complaints means you're whiny
Better a millennial than an NPC zoomer.

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>Windows updates never force install
What part of "I DON'T WANT CANDY CRUSH I JUST WANT THE SECURITY UPDATES" do you not understand.
Holy fuck it's true that all animeposters are retarded.
>can't choose what update I want
>don't want to install any in that case
>HURR DURR YOU'RE TECH ILLITERATE
That is like going to a store, picking out a jacket and then at the register being told you have to buy 50 more jackets that aren't your size if you want to buy that one jacket that you actually need.

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>(Although I'm sure they will correct that problem in due time)
Was reading recently how ATT and/or Verizon are contemplating this scheme where your phone becomes your identification and password manager. Reading further into it, it reads more like them trying to get first dibs on your data so they can make a quick buck. Somebody needs to draw the line here soon.

Retards who complain about """forced""" updates are exactly the type of moron that needs updates forced on them. Meanwhile anyone that knows what they're doing has set them to manual years ago and hasn't had to worry about them since.

Prove me wrong. PROTIP: You can't.

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It's quite simple. And yes, it should do well with hardware. I installed it from my USB drive using RUFUS. It even supports windows applications, if you *really* insist on running windows applications, you can install a Windows compatibility layer called Wine.

I'm going to stop re-typing the exact same thing for retarded newfriends that enter the thread.
REFER TO (retarded animeposters also applies to you).

Thanks, I'll give it a try user. Is networking easy on it, especially for obscure wireless adapters?

I can't answer that since I'm not a networking guy. But I can say the kernel natively supported some drivers I needed to install for Windows. It is also relatively fast, as well. Give it a go on your USB and see if it works for you. I did and never looked back. The thing I like most, by far, though is the UNIX-ness of it.

No worries then. I'll make sure to give it a try then.

>t. exactly the type of moron that needs updates forced on them

>Didn't pay for it
>Still complains when literally has nothing lost from switching

It is fine to have complaints about anything. Complaints asking for someone to change something when you can literally help yourself and use something else is being a whiny bitch.

Microsoft has teams dedicated to metrics. If they see losing market share, they will react.

Nothing you or any other faggot on Jow Forums post will change how Microsoft does stuff unless everyone else starts switching to alternatives (which only makes alternatives more viable for everyone).

Do you have any reading comprehension whatsoever?
>don't want to install Candy Crush
>want to install security update
>no choice but to install both instead of having the right to choose just the security update
Stop baiting.
As I've said, changing to Leenux now.

see

just do it.
Linux can play gaymes, you have no reason to be using winblows

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>coming to linux and refusing to install any updates
>gets the rare once in a blue moon linux virus because you havent updated in 3 years
>OMG WTF LOONIX WHY DIDNT YOU FIX THIS
Fuck off you brain dead troglodyte, we don't want you.

I just replied to his post though you absolute moron.
>right to choose is bad because my it makes my brain hurt when i have to make a choice so I'd rather have corporations do my thinking for me
pic related, it's (You).

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>That is like going to a store, picking out a jacket and then at the register being told you have to buy 50 more jackets that aren't your size if you want to buy that one jacket that you actually need.

Then don't buy the jacket

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see

Are you fucking retarded, or are you just illiterate?
I said I want to be able to just install the fucking SECURITY UPDATES not every single piece of bloatware that comes along with it.
>you literally can't choose what you want for it
>implying I ever complained once in this thread about getting a virus
I've never gotten a virus on any of my systems throughout all the time that I've used a computer because I'm not retarded enough to click every single popup and advert that I see.

Not that user, but you can just boot into a live USB without having to commit to anything. Then just check if all your hardware works. Drivers mostly come built-in with linux so it's reasonably likely that everything will work out of the box. If it doesn't then at least you know

That's neat. Is there any particular way of partitioning/manual installation necessary or does it basically do all the work while you go through the install wizard?

>using Windows 10 (software-as-a-service)
>complaining about updates

You're like an abused person who keeps going back to their abuser (Microsoft).

Install Windows 7 and don't pay the sub fee

>t. illiterate fucking retard
Two dozen people in the thread already told you to set updates to manual or set a schedule so it updates when you sleep. If you're too fucking brain dead to figure out how to do that then

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Got it way before they turned it into a service and announced that it'll be the "last" Windows.

For fucks sake you CAN'T set updates to manual. Windows 10 literally does not let you do that OR choose what kind of update you want, AKA you can't differentiate between a Candy Crush force-installation or an actual important security update.

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Check this out: youtube.com/watch?v=z5ZTGIrjBsU

Linux Mint is a distro based off of Ubuntu so this should work with Mint, too.

>Playing League of Legends
Why do you do this to yourself user?

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if you want it all easy mode, it will do that
if you have specific needs it might take some work.
anyway many distros are idiot proof these days.
t. idiot

Another Microdick shill.
How much are they paying you, Sinjay?

go full on Walden and swim in an ocean or sea for the rest of your life.

I dont usually play games but my little brother just asked me to play a few games of league with him so

>CAN'T
Except you can. Not our fault you're a subhuman brainlet that's

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bing bong wahoo i like my magical colored bullets xD

Ah, I've tried Ubuntu before, shouldn't be a problem then.
That's good, I'm mostly looking for a middle ground between specific needs and easy mode, so it seems like a decent choice.

Burning image onto disk now.

>As I've said, changing to Leenux now.

Do it faggot

YOU LITERALLY CAN'T.
And that's "ADVANCED OPTIONS".
Fuck off animefag.

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you DONT
Install linux you fucking retard.

>mfw all the autistic retards that refused to install security updates are all pushed to linux
>windows platform is cleansed and becomes the patrician platform
>"freetard" becomes a real thing with idiots getting hacked left and right daily from 4 year old exploits that were patched a 5 years ago but never installed

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NO YOU CANT YOU HALFBREED CHILD OF INCEST. NO ONE CAN. THE MOST YOU CAN DO IS DELAY OR SCHEDULE THEM FOR OUTSIDE OF WORK HOURS ON A PRO VERSION

Oy gevalt I bet you Kikerosoft is having a stroke right now, all that sweet sweet data they can no longer mine.

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You're literally brain dead. I set mine to manual 3 years ago and they're still on manual. Keep seething.

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Pretty much. There's no cure for stupid, even linux cant protect niggers from themselves.

>refused to install security updates
You absolute fucking mongoloid, you CANNOT CHOOSE WHETHER TO INSTALL A SECURITY UPDATE OR ONE OF MICROSOFT'S FORCED BLOATWARE GAMES LIKE CANDY CRUSH OR FARMVILLE.
>CAN'T CHOOSE WHETHER TO INSTALL SECURITY OR 50GB OF BLOAT
>I'M THE RETARD

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see

Prove it faggot. You cant.

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Where is the option, Rajeesh?
>inb4 thinks I'm talking about Win 7.

>>I'M THE RETARD
The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. We've made a lot of progress today.

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You have to disable it in the group policy editor iirc.

There is no such thing as manual updates only on windows 10. The burden of proof otherwise is on you.

>disconnct ethernet from work computer every friday at end of hift
>every monday at beginning of shift plug ethernet in
>zomg were 2 days behind 2 days with no internet download everything cpu 100% fuck your work we downloading updates

Eat shit retard. I'm not even going to tell you how to get here. If you're too fucking retarded to figure it out, you're

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>he uses shutup10 and thinks he's got smarticles

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Unironically this. Microsoft did it this way specifically to protect morons like OP from themselves.

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absolutely epic posts fellow redditors!
we showed those pesky Jow Forums trolls what they deserve for not wanting to conform to draconian megacorporations !!!

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WINDOWS 10 SECURITY UPDATES DO NOT USE THE UPDATE SERVICE THAT NORMAL UPDATES USE, YOU CANNOT STOP THEM, PLEASE OFF YOURSELF IN A DITCH, MONGOLOIDS.

Windows 10 privacy seems to be doing a good job at blocking updates and other unnecessary shit. No updates since january. It also doesn't revert your settings all the time like O&O shitup 10.

They literally ruined my laptop and it keeps on crashing cause I refused to install their forced (((updates)))

>laptop
>windows ever
shiggy diggy doo

Stupid fucking thread where people desperately cling to shit operating system on shit hardware and deliberately try to expose themselves to malware. Nice.

Yes but use Ubuntu instead. Don't fall for Jow Forums memes.

>not using LTSB
you deserve it

>exposing yourself to malware
>being exposed to malware in the first place to the extent that you need a security system to block said malware
lmao ishygddt

imagine being so retarded that you actually need an antivirus/security features on your device

this, desu
if you have ublock origin installed and you manage to get a virus you might be a retard

Imagine being this retarded to think you can't get compromised through means other than click to run virus.exe