Fuck SQL

SQL sucks green donkey dicks.

So, for personal databases, why aren't you using git instead?

Attached: sql-fuck-you.jpg (400x400, 81K)

I Don't like SQL as a language either, but wtf?

>Whole foods is awful. Why aren't you doing all of your grocery shopping at Supercuts instead?
Non-sense, the post.

>the world is just the US of A
Your post isn't much better, chief.

yet you know what they are...

lol good luck with nosql like all the other dumbshit webdevs, brainlet

the hell is Supercuts? Sounds like a cartoon for boomers

Attached: 1int.png (303x311, 178K)

>Supercuts is a hair salon franchise

I have no idea what Supercuts is and your post still makes sense. OP it's a brainlet

I doubt you have a firm grasp on what either of those terms actually mean.

wat

Actually, it does make sense if you think about it.

OP said personal databases, not an airline reservation system backend.

No OP, you're retarded.

>paying strangers to cut your hair
The USA were a mistake

In USA, all stores are or will soon be grocery stores, just selling a few other items on the side.

So yes, you WILL be buying groceries at Supercuts, Gomer.

Elaborate, please.

i live alone and dont know anyone. please come cut my hair

Relevant.

You have a low intelligence. So low, that you're unaware of just how little you know.

>living around millions of people and yet not having any meaningful connection with any of them
The USA were probably the biggest mistake in the last few centuries

Dunning Kruger detected.

He's not a stranger if you stop being so socially crippled and talk to him.

OP is literally neck-deep in Dunning Kruger territory.

Elaborate, please.
Show your work.

The point is having a family that can cut your hair, FFS. Americans are creating stupid jobs like Social Media Ninjas, CoC Specialists, Hairdressers

i live in a town of 300 people and have to drive 20 minutes to get my hair cut

Attached: bad.png (500x462, 134K)

Using git as a nosql database is fucking retarded. That's not what it's for. It's like trying to drive nails by wacking them with a screw driver.

Elaborate, please.
Show your work.

>hairdressers
It's called a barber you faggot, and the job dates back thousands of years.

If only you knew one of the THREE HUNDRED PEOPLE that live right next to you, right? You can't though, because Americans have to live in some sort of fucking bubble for some reason.

Go back to eating crayons, this Jow Forums posting thing isn't working out for you.

Ok, let's start here
>OP said personal databases, not an airline reservation system backend.
This sentiment would make sense if OP were talking about something like H2 or Sqlite, since those handle the types of operations needed from a database, but are meant to be quick and easy to use tools not meant for a production environment. However, OP is talking about git, instead, which is a source control tool.

Now, let's get to the heart of the stupidity
>So, for personal databases, why aren't you using git instead?
Ok, so we want to use git as a database. 'Personal database' is pretty vague, but I'm going to assume we're talking about doing some weeb shit like keeping track of which anime episodes you've already watched and what rating you've given them. So, how would you store that in git? What's an insert going to look like? What's an update going to look like? If I want to query all of the anime episodes that I rated a 7/10 during 2016, what is that going to look like? What will I need to do to accomplish these tasks programmatically, inside of an application?

Can't think?
Fall back to childish insults.

Nice.

>git
>database
How high are you?

If git and SQL are equivalents, try using SQL for version control.

OP clearly doesn't know what the hell a database is actually for. He's probably trying to put files into it as blobs and getting frustrated. I wager he doesn't even what git is actually for, but he probably finds that it's easy to put files into so it's a closer fit to what he's ignorantly trying to do.

About 6 feet?

Not trying to do version control.

Yes.

>I don't like this ice cube, gonna use a basketball
>If they are equivalent, try making the ice cube bounce
>I'm not trying to play basketball, I'm trying to chill my drink

What are you trying to do with git, if not version control? Version control is what git is for.

I honestly can't even tell if this is a bait thread. I can't tell if OP is retarded or pretending to be retarded.

1) A software version control system?

2) Yes, but not frustrated at git, enraged and disgusted at SQL. Whoever came up with SQL was dropped on their head too many times.

SQL is just fine, you plainly don't understand what it's for.

If you disagree, then explain precisely what you're trying to accomplish and how you plan on using git to accomplish that.

Obvious bait you dumb fucks

Sometimes we get people who are legitimately this stupid on Jow Forums.

This little troll just hates sql because can't understand it or lose his database introduction class, is jus pathetic

That sounds more difficult. I rather pay someone to cut my hair than talk to anyone.

Based. I haven’t paid for a haircut in a decade.

And I assume you're not American? Based and redpilled, my dear friend.

He probably thinks that git is better than sql because git is one of the first things they teach you in those shitty "boot camp" courses. They thought him how to go through the motions with git but didn't actually teach him what it's for, and clearly failed to effectively teach him what SQL is for.

Imagine:

Simple, Personal database shit. Not version control. Not backend shit for a a financial services mega-corp.

Would be cool to have database with ACID or near ACID qualities.

But don't want to spend weeks/months doing E-R charts and database normalization. Then trying to use confusing SQL to manage/query it. Why should I have to figure out the deep mysteries of joins? You're the computer, you figure out how to wipe your own ass after you take a shit on my data.

Consider Basic vs. C. SQL is like C: cold, indifferent, obscure, opaque, and downright dangerous. No wonder Johnny can't compute - maybe he could if he could use Basic instead of C.

>Why should I have to figure out the deep mysteries of joins?
joins are indeed deep and mysterious, just like walking, feeding yourself, and breathing.

You still haven't described what you actually trying to accomplish. "Personal database shit" doesn't mean anything.

> Not backend shit
Use sqlite

>But don't want to spend weeks/months doing E-R charts and database normalization.
You don't have to.

>Then trying to use confusing SQL to manage/query it
SQL is very simple. It's a declarative language, the database does all the hard work for you.

> Why should I have to figure out the deep mysteries of joins?
How are you going to join your data using git? How does using git instead of a proper database simplify your life at all?

>
Consider Basic vs. C. SQL is like C: cold, indifferent, obscure, opaque, and downright dangerous
Totally nonsensical.

NoSql is for lazy people. It's more quick or whatever, but you will never have the same autistic organisation that you have in SQL databases. What will you do when your mongo database has a lot of data with different information? Enjoy your deserialization ;)

>git instead of SQL
You are either a genius far beyond my abilities to comprehend, or a complete moron.
How in the fuck is that even supposed to work?

Sounds like you're looking for an excel file, homie.

That was cruel.

He's being generous. Someone who can't figure out joins probably won't get very far in Excel either.

Attached: 1536603788323.jpg (720x720, 70K)

No it wasn't. If he's struggling with SQL and wants a single user "personal database" and doesn't care about being able to query the data, then an excel file is probably exactly what he wants. A great deal of small business owners all around the world organize their business using excel.

OP can't even articulate what problem he's trying to solve, so expecting him to know what he needs is unreasonable. He needs excel, and a brain.

3 x 5 index cards have the ACID properties you're looking for (unless made with acid-free paper).
But querying is a bitch.

Or maybe Access? I mean, the same shit but with... Sql!!!!

It's not even clear he needs a database in the first place. He'd probably be good to go with just a text file on his desktop.

Fellating M$?
No thanks.

I think he knows. He's just plain stupid, can't understand joins or even the most basic sql queries

You can't understand basic sql queries, your opinion doesn't counts.

I don't think he actually does know. He knows the word "join" but I doubt he actually knows what concept that word refers to, since he thinks "using git instead of sql" will be a solution to his lack of understanding.

SQL is great and one of the few technologies that managed to survive decades and evolve well

Fuck you OP. I bet you use Mongodb and wonder why your shit doesn't scale.

This.

Maybe both. Git is a DBMS, after all. Just because it is normally used as an RCS doesn't mean it couldn't be used for other things.

No. Sqlite.
And the use of "bleeding " as a medical practice survived centuries.

Yes, I do know what joins are. It' something the computer should be doing, not the user. Like manipulating bits in processor registers.
If I want to join tables, I'll go to a restaurant.

A SQL database does the join for you. Git will not do joins for you.

Describe them then, retard. Explain what a join is, what the different kinds are, and when you would use one.

> Thinks making a join is as hard as bits manipulation

Stop it troll

Well, you do have to tell an SQL database what to join, and how, when carefully crafting your query.

Oh wow, how much IQ do you need to do that kind of hard work?

>computers should do multiplication for you
>...uhhh...they do
>yeah but you have to tell it what numbers to multiply by
Does your carer know you're on the computer this late?

>>Well, you do have to tell an SQL database what to join,
Yes, SQL is a declarative language. You tell it what you want. It doesn't read your mind, computers can't do that.

>and how
No. The database engine examines it's internal data structures and your query and decides how best to fulfill what you asked for. A retard like OP plainly has no business second guessing the query planner.

Not getting paid enough for that. Besides, there are whole books devoted to the subject, as well as endless technical papers.

But of course you don't need to do the research, since you obviously already know everything there is to know about it.

Which is why you have plenty of free time to troll on Jow Forums. No date tonight, Sweetie? Or any other night . . .

what is this post?

btw if you dont like sql, use no-sql instead.

OP doesn't even know what SQL is for.

I sincerely doubt anybody pays you do to anything more complicated than flip burgers.

Your sister pays me a commission for arranging her "dates".

To bad you can't monetize your wit.

Indeed.

In closing, please refer to
#67777023.

>whole books devoted to the subject
Here, I made this fresh OC just for you.

Attached: books_about_joins.png (358x558, 71K)

JEJ

i used sql on a basic/intermediate level and found it ok, whats wrong with it?

>git
>not Sublime Text 3
ishygddt

Attached: 1479595460989.jpg (358x358, 14K)

Attached: 1536930464230.png (600x724, 420K)

As a brainlet who does the basics of data analysis in SQL I chuckled at this post
> deep mysteries of joins
>Months on normalization for a personal DB

If SQL is a step too much for you, good luck keeping your data in dozens or hundreds of branches and managing the relations between them with git pull, git rebase and vim.
Holy donkey balls, you're either a savant or are certifiable. This could actually work, if you're really adept at using git.

Why use a database when file cabinets exist? Checkmate, atheists.

But.. Sql is cool... Only chads work with dbs and sql, op-kun.

the thing about these nosql dbs is that they ended up reimplementing sql in *insert shitty imperative lang here* anyway. eventually they learn about lambdas and get something close to sql but not as good.

or just use /usr/bin/join

What I had in mind was OP storing all kinds of shit in branches, forks, and branches of forks, dozens of levels deep, and then when he needed grandma's recipe for blueberry muffins converted for high altitude he did a massive git pull and rebase to find out how many cups of all-purpose flour he needed when he's in Denver.

Datalog Educational System