Things you can say about your computer, but not your girlfriend

She has been loyal to me since I bought her.

She's always there for me when I need her the most

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I just love getting her fired up and watch some quality furry-vomit porn.

fpbp

worth the money

it's not in my freezer

Expansion slots aren't filled completely

You're my reason for living.

I have one.

She's a big gal

4u

lol

"I love you."

you can suck me any day

I can push the button whenever I feel like.

I just want one without any viruses.

I don't need to spend any money on her right now, she's perfect.

one gets turned on when i want

The port in the back is as good as the one on the front

Hmmmm, I love how quiet you are.

I don't let my friends touch it

I don't let it get dusty.

Doesn't have floppies.

kek but it's true for both

It's been dead for a year now it's sitting somewhere in my garage
I might disassemble it to sell the spare parts if I can get some time on my hands

nice

Top kek

It's 3 years old

Works as good today as the day I bought her.

Makes me happy

no feminine penis

it blows

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I have had more than zero computers

/thread

When I get angry at and start hitting it, it's mostly my fault.

The black one looks better.

The black one actually works

Kek

fpbp
Jow Forums btfo

3D

>your girlfriend

She's turning 7 next month. I need a new one.

>had only one user through its lifetime

she's hot and her brain is a mangled mess i can't understand

When I'm not using her, I rent her out to other people and make a bit of money.

She makes my life easier

I've managed to turn her on at least once this week

I can't stop pushing all of her buttons.

Stupid piece of fucking shit work you fucking retard

It doesn't have some other guy's dick in it.

My computer is still here and I don't have to spend the evenings mindlessly binging movies and shows and playing videogames without actually enjoying any of that to the point where I fall asleep at my desk because whenever I lie down in bed in the dark and quiet I just half-imagine it's still there lying next to me and it fucks me up because I haven't been able to connect to anyone like that ever before or ever since (three years and counting) and my brain will keep grinding over it for hours and I occasionally get nightmares about it.

... Oh, right, I meant: "I don't have to beat my computer to make it shut up, lol!"

even though i lost my job, she's there for me

I can turn her on.

Dayum.

>that guy in the background

you fucked up desu

accepts my 3.5" floppy

fpwp

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Yeah, I have one of those.

She (the anime wallpaper) is cute

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She (the computer) is real

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Based and redpilled

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Thread should have stopped here

I have the skills to make her do whatever I want

$make me_a_sandwich

keeps getting penetrated by russians

Doesn't take floppies in*
ftfy

Underrated

rack mounted

I didn't get married to it yesterday

test

Happens with both.

sensible chuckle

no bloat

I didn't break up with my computer on Sunday and want to die

Kek

Low maintenance

She lets me touch her insides without wearing latex.

It's not dead

I keep refreshing but Jow Forums is broken

jej

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this

Nailed it

is always turned on

It’s not in pieces in my closet

My computer is only used by one person.

Hit too close to home

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It's 5 year old and does the job pretty fine