I am a genie! Tell me your single wish and I shall grant it. But be wary...

I'll be a nice genie. To myself.

I wish that you have a nice day

But the wish is instantaneous, is it not? Just a snap, and all of the gays will die. That way, they can’t prepare for it.

From now on I'll live on a an asteroid where no light can reach. Therefore I cannot have a nice day.

I turned them first. I didn't tell you granting your wish would be my first action.

>Time to find a trap to jerk off to. Bye!
This is exactly what I wanted

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I jerked off to an actual bear trap and got my dick cut off. I'm now asexual.

Give me superhuman strength

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Your muscles exploded. You're dead.

I wish i knew how to read

sweet

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You already do. Your wish is unspent and you can try again.

I wish i knew how to write

suck my dong

you can't
nobody can

I wish that in this universe, set of reality and within the next 6 minutes that from then until the end of causality that you in your current form on this plane of reality during and after my wish for the rest of causality will no longer have the ability to grant wishes and that every wish you had granted until this point was as if it never happened at all forever until the end of causality with no deviation from the terms I've set within the text of this explanation of my wish.

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You already do. Your wish is unspent and you can try again.

I shall suck it with a vacuum cleaner.

During your wish I lost my ability to grant wishes. Therefore your wish was not granted. So everything reverted to the state it was before your wish but your trial for a wish is spent so you cannot ask for one again.

I wish i had a computer

Vacuum will still make me nut
Thanks genie

I wish for uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Here you go.

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yw

Genie is going to sleep. Thank you and good night!

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Goodnight genie

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i want smaller bener

NO, WAIT
I WANT SMALLER BENER

I wish for the next lottery ticket I buy to match every single winning number for the draw it corresponds to.

I want my crush to love me and for u to get married and live happily ever after with two normal (non-retarded) children in a nice house that is 100% safe from weather-related damage.

wait shit I meant US shit

Please make me painlessly wake up tomorrow without wisdom teeth
They hurt like a mf

I want a a warm tasty bowl of mac n cheese
AND GIVE ME A NICE REGULAR SPOON AS WELL

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I want Agatha Sullivan to love me Bryan Libni Reyes López, this is a picture of her, and i want to expand my drug cartel.

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I want to be a millennial!!!

>born in 98

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I wish to be immortal and be able to shape-shift into anything I want, whenever I want!

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i wish for a denver omlette today at work

I wish myself another genie which fulfills me more wishes without trying to find a loophole in my wording to trick me.

Henlo, please make all the retarded incels shut the fuck up.

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Why are you so silent now, retarded incel?

Shush. You’ll shut the fuck up for the rest of your life soon, retarded incel.

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I wish you would just do whatever the fuck you want

Greetinga my dear genie, i would like to know how can i become a master shitposter,because i am only the apprentice now and i want to advance in ranks. Thanks in advance my lord!

I'm waiting bitch
grant my wish

your wife sleeps around and your childeren dont respect you. you live in a 10x5x5 shack thats infested with cockroaches and spiders