>must have 10+ years of C++ and OpenGL experience >must have 15+ years of HTML, CSS, JavaScript, PHP, and kneepad experience >must be familiar with ALL frameworks ever created, including deprecated ones. >experience with dead languages like ADA is a plus >must have worked on software larger than or equal to Amazon and Google's main projects >firm understanding of internet protocols, artificial intelligence, search engine optimization, cybernetics, virtual reality, and assembly language
open a youtube channel where you say 90% truth and believe that you are the greatest.
Michael Smith
Look for entry-level jobs.
Sebastian Lee
>he wasnt fucking around with html when he was 12 what are you even doing here?
You have projects and shit that SHOW you know what you are doing, right?
Ian Ortiz
Go work for Applebees.
Christian Cox
Just wear a suit Carl
Matthew King
suck cock. big fat cocks. every cock you find suck it. live your life sucking. eventually all doors will open to you.
Kayden King
So how are those Pan-European politics going Carl?
Zachary Nguyen
I wish there were actual open gl jobs
Ayden Reyes
same
Luke Cox
Start your own company writing software for a niche, under-exposed field. Have only a handful of employees (they are actually contractors for me. not full-time. no benefits or social security because that system is fucked for anyone small) and bring in money hand over fist while working from your home.
I actually didn't start this because I couldn't find a job, but because I fucking hate cubicles, office politics, and factory hours.
Chase Lee
Half of these job openings are fake and intentionally foreboding. They have to pretend they tried but weren't able to hire domestically before they can go for the H-1Bs. That's why you will hear the politicians they have bought towing the line of "companies can't find American/whatever talent" for them which the politicians can then also turn and use to sell throwing more money at the six and seven figure earning people of the educational system and teacher's unions, who throw the money and support right back at them when elections come around.
Thomas Kelly
This. Its high level kikery and should be punishable by law.
Owen Gomez
I’m reminded of that guy that found a job requirement of 10 years working with Swift even though it came out in 2014
Carter Garcia
Shit like this exists because previous jobs are being consolidated into "super jobs" (look it up). It makes people absolutely miserable and puts them under enough stress to damn near kill them. Don't go into anything tech related. Don't get a tech related job. Let it be a fun a hobby on the side and don't let it consume your life. I worked for close to a decade as a software engineer and all that hard work got me fucking nothing. There was a change in management and I was asked to train a replacement Pajeet. I didn't. I said fuck you and left. I make less money now but I don't have the urge to kill myself anymore.
i don't have an option though, i'm not skilled enough for other high paying fields
Ryan Barnes
I'm telling you right now that you're better off going into a skilled trade that pays less. In the end you'll be happier and you'll make meaningful business connections. A high paying job is not worth your sanity and putting up with absolute cunts who exist only to gum shit up with bureaucratic nonsense and abuse any tiny silver of power they can wield against you. I make around $40k less a year but at least I'm respected by my coworkers.
Julian Bell
i don't live in the us, so the skilled trade sector is a big meme
Cooper Miller
Well have fun as tech support I guess. I'll call you whenever I need to remove a virus by sending you iTunes cards.
Lincoln Lopez
This 100x. They do that shit in Australia because the requirements to create more temporary work visas are practically the same.
Most of these job requirements are what they wish they could find. If they don't find someone with all the requirements, they will hire the next best thing, and that could be you. Good luck, OP.
Dylan Thompson
meme would be fun if iTunes cards were a thing none of your memes apply to me
Christopher Watson
I'm a Process Control tech (Electrician that knows programming) and I get to do cool little projects at the plant I'm working at with not much response because I'm not an engineer. Shits cash.
Ayden Taylor
Not op, even the entry level jobs in my area are requiring 5+ years of experience. I’m at a year looking for a job now and seem to be on a bad path to nowhere
Lincoln Peterson
>train the guy who's replacing you Jesus what level of cuckoldry is this? It's like watching your big-tittied blonde white wife get gangbanged by bbc and you're forced to watch.
Julian Murphy
Go into IT.
William Carter
Have big ego Have 20 year plan Read locke
Charles Fisher
I've been thinking of just pretending to be someone who doesn't exist and send out fake CVs claiming 20+ years of C++,C,Java,C#,JAavascript,python,haskell,rust,lisp,sql,mongodb... etc, preteending to have worked at microsoft, apple, gooogle, amazon, netflix and so on just to see the response rate. Rate the plan.
Kevin Ortiz
How hard is it to go into IT with a CS degree and only Net+? Will I have to be a help desk dummy being paid 10$/h ?
Dylan Wood
becom a cyberhermit scavenge hardware from dumps and plant wifi honeypots, gsm jammers, jerryrigged microwaves without doors all around your city while totally ignoring your huge debt to govt
Chase Jenkins
10/10
go for it post results
Bentley Torres
With a degree you should be able to learn any platform. Job market is tough but if you have a proven tack record it helps enormously. That could be internships or a major project on, say, Github/Gitlab.
David Watson
Check your countries law on that otherwise you could ens up with legal trouble if they find out.
Kevin Wright
>not "go for IT" one job user
Connor Hall
>Look for entry-level jobs. I think you mean move to a third world shithole and become a code monkey. There's no such thing as entry level anymore you moran.
William Phillips
Super jobs just mean super money.
Owen Walker
Generally its something youd do if getting promoted to a new position or retiring esp if youre getting promoted
Thomas Price
Just apply to whatever programming related jobs you want, even if they want someone with 20+ years experience for minimum wage it doesn't mean they're going to fucking get them. You might be the best person they get to apply
Thomas Lopez
just lie about it lool
Ryan Barnes
>he wasnt fucking around with html when he was 12 >what are you even doing here? HTML didn't exist when I was 12.
Liam Bailey
also if someone actually knew that amount of shit he wouldn't be looking for a job in the first place
Angel Harris
You apply to all relevant jobs, even if you don't know the specific frameworks or whatever. You can learn them. Like 20 a day. On the ones you're interested in you email them with a followup, send those email tracking things out too so you can see if they open your email more than once.
If they come back it more than once but don't email you, send them another one, but don't act needy or anything, just do it casually like you're displaying interest but too busy so getting an answer quickly is more important than begging for a job.
Alternative tactics: email two people, whoever is hiring and then some engineer hopefully on the team to say you're interested in that position, or just know someone from the team beforehand by (((networking))) somehow.
Jaxon Roberts
how to find a niche?
Lincoln Johnson
>land new IT job for BigCo >NPC for two weeks >commute + day job = 10 hours of my day disappears, but only get paid for 7 of them >bored + tired >>H-hey user, grab yourself a coffee/soda, that’ll fix you right up! >literally solicited the highly addictive drug caffeine to be a more productive worker >quit after two weeks These places don’t take DSE seriously and work/life balance is a fucking meme. I really fucking hated my IT office job as it was soul crushing. Remote work is the only option. Working remotely guarantees you a true work/life balance. I blame you boomers. You fuckers want to keep shit old fashioned. You weren’t granted such liberties, so you deny that to anyone else. IT people are only there to make the place look busy for clients when they arrive. However, the job itself can be done from anywhere if it doesn’t involve security. >b-but much annual leave/bank holidays What a fucking joke. Being an NPC throughout most of the year just so you can live for a few short fleeting days is absolutely virgin-tier. Not to mention every other NPC are doing it; your day gets overcrowded and lines get longer. So much for relaxation and restoration.
fucking reee
Daniel Kelly
That is why you get an internship. If you didn't get an internship, then go to a code camp.
Nathan Hughes
You sound incredibly entitled.
Nolan Butler
>be an NPC wagie like the rest of us, you entitled piece of shit
Hudson Hall
Experience is just an excuse they tell dumb and unattractive people that they don't want to hire you It doesn't actually matter half as much as its made to seem once you're charismatic/good looking and/or have actual good code to show
>tfw socially retarded shut in >Don't even know 2 people for references
I'm currently looking at paid services to just lie for me, god I'm pathetic.
Samuel Cook
go to a bootcamp, that's their primary purpose really.
You'll get references and if it's a half decent one you'll probably even get introduced to people trying to hire directly from that bootcamp. Even if you don't need to learn any of the code you can still learn the "how to get a job" parts and working with other people
Angel Bell
You forgot >X years experience with some framework that barely exists for a year Had to explain that to some employer once, got the most bullshit "experience from the beta version" excuse back, even though that wasn't applicable. Fuck this industry.
Noah Bennett
>implying the HR screening monkey is gonna visit your github, much less know how to read code
Christian Gomez
hell half of the HRs job is automated now. If your resume or cover letter has more than 1 typo or triggered/flagged words it's automatically discarded by a computer.
Michael Torres
This.
Jonathan Flores
someone really needs to tell that lardass that throwing on a shitty suit they doesnt fit you does not qualify as "well dressed"
Aiden Mitchell
Yes, exactly. The only people who can do otherwise are those already rich or who have won the karmic lottery.