Open office or cubicles?

Open offices seem like they would be a good thing for small companies with like 5-20 employees, most of whom know each other or are friends.

But for a massive corporate environment it seems like hell.

This seems like a complete hellscape, I'd rather be homeless than work there

How much would it cost to turn a short-bus into this, I could go on the road.

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Comfy as fuck

Say what you want, but with some carpeting and some wallpaper this could turn out really nice. No idea why you make it look so fucking disgusting on purpose.

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It really doesn't matter though any company these days that can be run from an internet connection and still requires their employees to come to a single building is retarded and deserves to fail. Also non of you would care about working here either.

>tfw you will never work in a small room with no more than 4 cubicles inside with its own kitchen and cr

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Trying to get a remote job right now as I hate open office plans, I hate having to go in just for appearances, and I hate the client site visits that amount to fucking nothing and make my commute 2 hours!

>you will never be able to listen to conservative talk radio in your cubicle as such a perfect volume to both redpill your coworkers and not loud enough for management to ask you to turn it down

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>tfw you will never work where meeting room turns into tekken arcade during lunch break where fags from different division fights

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>tfw started at a midwestern company
>had a cubicle at first, was really comfy
>suddenly the company throws around buzzwords like "agile" and "product driven organization"
>cubicles are gone
>instead of decent personal space I have a small sliver of a desk to my name and absolutely no personal space
>constantly on edge
t-thanks

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probably being a bum has something to do with it`

>beer in the sink

Why are these tech companies just so overtly political?

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Neither, both are fucked up work environment.

Pretty simple, really. They build these machines that monitor what people think and feel and manipulate them using this information into buying products for their sponsors, and governments want this power to manipulate political opinions too. Corporations realise that they could do it too, just manipulate people into supporting government policies that helps them make money.

LibreOffice

the og /deepweb-core/
edgy deep web fags over will suck your dick

Remote is the only true option.

cubicles, any day

because it's how they can make more money. if virtue signaling far-right ideals were marketable you'd see swastikas on that board

>convince media that russians were able to steal the 2016 election by buying $100,000 in facebook ads
>this cause dems to spend $100,000,000 on facebook ads in 2020

Genius

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What is this nightmare

The best option would be a single office with a lockable door. Alternatively the same office but with 4 seats. Then cubicles. The last option would be open shit space. It's literally the worst of the worst.

We have some bullshit hot seat deal going on, which is kiiiind of a failure because most people like their own space and sit in the same place every day. though sometimes you walk in and have no idea where you are going to sit because 'your' place is taken, which kind of blows.

Sometimes people taking your place after months of you sitting there feels a bit like bullying however.

Imagine if you were some kind of naked money man, swinging across all those beams, kicking shit over everywhere, throwing your shit at people below. That would be fun.

Because of their subjective white guilt over living in a town house that was converted into 6 1bed apartments in a rapidly gentrified area that pushed the poorer, probably black people into even worse, even more fringe ghettos where getting a job is even worse because the commute takes up a third of their daily wages?

Nether. I think a mixture of the two is best. Big cubicles with about 6-10 desks in them and bookable private offices are nice as there you have 'neighbours' to keep you company but not overwhelmingly so. Plus you can still get away from noise if you need to.

Human beings evolved to be in smallish groups, rather than an ant farm

I'd rather have a desk in the janitor's closet than work in that place.

How's productivity, though?

Hahaha holy shit is anyone in that office working?

Small, traditional offices for 2-3 people. Maybe 2-3 of these offices connected to each other.

Hahahahaha who am I kidding, this kind of office complex would cost actual money, cannot take that from INNOVESHUN/gender quotas.

almost heaven.

This actually seems pretty okay (with headphones on) aside from how bright it is. I mean did they turn the exposure up in this picture or would I have to put on sunglasses to work there?

what the fuck

West Virginia

You know if you just replace the cubicle material with glass or maybe clear plastic you can have the best of both worlds

Hmm, a blurry glass/plastic. Kinda like the one you see in pic related (from portal 2). Best of both worlds. Stops people from watching porn/whipping their dick out, but lets them do their own thing, and be creative, so long as they kinda look like they're working.

I like this idea.

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How long until Agile comes up with revolutionary Scrum-Cubicles(tm)?

>get hired as scum master for $90k/year
>really don't understand the project we are working on
>not a very technical person
>have no idea what to do with all my free time every day
>once a day ask each employee "is there anything you need?" and tell them I want to make sure they have whatever they need to meet their goals
>don't do anything else all day
>employees tell me I'm much better than the last person to hold this position

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Cubicles are better, but I prefer small cabinets. You and your coworkers, the whole team works together in one space.

what's this agile/scrum shit actually?

I think you mean Scrumicles™

Although I hear there's a new startup also working on their off-brand version, Scroticles™

The bus itself aside, turning one into a literal shithole like that probably costs you nothing more than a few bucks for tools and basic materials, with the rest being already in your possession or being stolen from a landfill.

>Scroticles
just like Scrumicles, but with a glory hole in the middle of the ceiling for turn-based pleasuring of the CTO?

You know those blue haired diversity hires that don't do any work?

Well to give them something to do, we invented scrum, which means you go to a meeting every day to listen to blue hairs talk about pointless shit for 3 hours.

>tfw open office
>tfw hot desks

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Scrum is where you form small teams around scrum masters who act as interface between developers and business.
Then you have little time-boxed ritual meetings for deciding what scope of changes you want to commit to for the next 2-6 weeks, have a small daily meeting about your progress and a retrospective at the end of the development cycle, while the business completely ignores your structures and keeps personally addressing the developers they know for each of their individual issues.

>get hired as scum master
For a moment I pictured some sort of hardcore bdsm slave shit.

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They don't really care about politics. They care about what they can sell and there are only 2 things that cannot be sold: far right ideas and religion.

based, are you russian?

Underrated.

Oh, look. They've got some token Dells.
Must be some sort of equal opportunity thing.

That guy on the bottom right knows what up. It fuckin sucks.

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neither. tech companies that still have people working in a building are shit.

none

Home.

at least it was before I fucked everything up

Normies absolutely love bright lighting

I bet you could attract some of the best programmers just by guaranteeing them a real office with a door with a lock, and a window outside, forever. Even if the salary is low, imagine the comfy.

everyone who works there is a communist homosexual and/or pajeet otherwise they wouldn't live in that shithole

I'd rather have cubicles. Sometimes I browse Reddit or take a quick 15 minute nap without people freaking out.

both of those look terrible. is that actually the norm?
I share an office with the other 5 guys from my team with actual walls.

amazing. I love it.

Work from home.

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>shitposting

>JORDAN
read deep work by cal newport. He discusses the major flaws in a system such as this and why the isolated dedicated workspace is the superior option.

tldr: this workspace is not as efficient

It does suck. You can't focus or work on the phone anymore. It's just an excuse to cut down on the amount of space used

I actually like this idea a lot

I have this at my international company.

I work remote so luckily neither for me

> extreme cost cutting: the floorplan

As a custodian, I see different things than you when I look at these office plans. I notice facebook doesn't give their people personal trash cans, only a recycle can shared with their neighbors. I pity the poor bastard that has to separate that stuff out, because snotty tissues don't get walked over to the large communal trash can, they just get thrown in the recycle can. I know CA has some draconian recycling laws too, so if you just toss the mixed recyclables out with the trash you probably get a fine. The desk layouts are pretty confusing too, if you tasked a newbie with vacuuming they would probably miss a lot because it's hard to know where you've been. It looks like the power and network cables come up from the floor for each "island" of a half dozen or so desks, which isn't so bad but it's a bitch getting the crumbs that build up around the wires when you have to not vacuum up peoples' wires. Seriously, police your phone charger wires, vacuums love to eat those.

Lastly I see this setup hasn't been in place for very long, less than six months I'd guess, because there's not a circle of destroyed carpet under each chair. They could be replacing carpet squares as they wear, though.

>As a janitor
Fixed.
Changing the job title doesn't change the job's status.

I work in a scif
we dont have windows
we have 4 foot cubicles.

Blue Ridge mountain, Shenendoah River.

Probably last scrum master was an obnoxious pos. Last scrum PM I had working for me I grilled hard on methodology, then told her to assume no one knew anything about agile and it was her job to preach it. She did a good job of it. Your manager must be an idiot, bc I'd have spotted that bs and called you out on it. Good luck; I work corporatists and hate it but it pays too well to not do.

nice post, thank you. it's always interesting to see a point of contention from an unusual perspective.

Cubicles

not even a debate

Large cubicles give you privacy and noise reduction and is a sign your company cares at least a bit about you.

Open Office is just a way for the company to save on thousands at your expense.

not bad for smaller companies/spaces.

but a gigantic space like that is utterly retarded. too much noise, no personal space or privacy. i know companies don't care (employees may as well be cattle) but oh well.

>Open Office is just a way for the company to save on thousands at your expense.
>at your expense
>your expense
Your time at the office is at THEIR expense by any and every meaning of the word.

It's the opposite. They see the need for their employees to actually come into a work environment and force them to work in order to get their values worth out of you for the salary/wage they pay you.

Letting someone highly paid work at home while they jerk off and do barely any work is a worse expense to them.

And it also shows they have no trust in their employees furthering my point since WFH is something for people who can be trusted to actually work and not dilly around.

Neither.

Both open offices and cubicles look like a guaranteed way to lose your sanity due to bad building acoustics, air flow, heating, lighting, and having no real guarantee that you can "zone out" and get the job done without someone bothering you.

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>Open office

Naked office

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>Open office or cubicles?
They're both bad
>the one guy with the perpetual cough and refuses to see a doctor
>the obnoxious bitch whistling along to whatever in her headphones but nobody wants to be THAT GUY and say anything to her
>the drama queen who puts all of his international workers on speakerphone
>the asshole Company Man trying to should surf
>the disrespectful boss trying to shoulder surf
>the guy that actually needs to be shoulder surfed
>the person having a bitter spat on their phone with their ex
>the guy who eats at his desk and has fish
Open office just puts this nonsense closer. After a while, it starts to take on a charm of its own...

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wot in tarnation

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This, work at an aviation company and every bit is just like a traditional office except my department is in an isolated office which is the worst because no windows

Actually sounds comfy