PhD in Computer science. Still unemployed for 7 months

What the fuck am I doing wrong Jow Forums? I’ve applied to thousands of places and still NOTHING. I don’t get it. I know the data science/statistics shit that businesses want these days but I’m still not getting anything.
>inb4 it’s your CV
I’ve had my CV and cover letter checked several times by professionals. Everything checks out and I don’t have employment gaps (except the current 7 months unemployed thing)

>inb4 remove your PhD from CV
And leave a 7 year employment gap?! What kind of shitty advice is this?

>inb4 apply abroad
Tried that but still not getting anything. And besides don’t most of these jobs require you to know the local language? They always say this is not a “requirement” but it is “preferred” that I know the language...

>inb4 aim lower
I’m practically overqualified for most low tier jobs so aiming lower wouldn’t do me any good. I’ve applied to both small firms and large ones. I’ve even been trying to get unpaid internships but STILL NOTHING. I spend 13 hours a day sending about 8-10 job applications because I have to tailor each and every one. Many jobs that I qualify for as per the job description I STILL don’t get through. What’s worse is that I don’t even know where I’m going wrong because I always get the generic automated rejection emails with no feedback. NANI THE FUCK?!

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Don't think you're telling the truth!

do you have any experience in the field? I'm not an expert on this, but I'm pretty sure employers want you to know what the fuck you're doing before employing you

I don't usually spout the networking meme, considering that you don't really need much of it and it's overrated, not to mention that it can sometimes not be that easy, even at good schools...

...but how the fuck did you manage to not secure a position during a fucking PhD before receiving the title? Being closer to your supervisors and the academic environment in general should make it piss easy.
This is of course assuming you're not LARPing.

>except the current 7 months unemployed thing
Plug that hole with a project on GItlab or Github.

I started my own business. Now I can fill every "unemployment gap" with: yeah, I was working on my business.

LARP
CS PhDs go for $800k total comp start

Are you sure you're not heavily implying that you're a loner, or that you're a burnout potential, not enough teamplayer or whatever.
Most employers just wants to make sure that they'll keep you long enough, that you have a life (or seems to have one) besides work, and that you will integrate the team without hiccup.

Pajeet

Maybe you need a new approach.
Stop sending resumes and start sending advertisements.

It's because you're white.

If you have a PhD then maybe you already know what some companies are doing wrong and how they should fix it.
You need to market a solution to them, one that involves giving you lots of money.

Because your probably a social retard or your resume isn't getting through the automated system.

Also is it a PhD in some retarded subject like UI or something?

Maybe you're creepy or something?

Ok let's unwrap this. Try removing all the toxic pro-Trump shit you post on social media and that might just work.

Change your legal name to Tyrone. That should at least get you an interview from HR trying to fill the diversity quota.

its because you are lying and making these work threads for the past year

just die in your sleep already

this

Work on games OP. I'm not even kidding

Blame it on the Jews and become a demagogue instead.

Add "I am genderfluid" to your CV

Get a penis extension operation and join the gay circuit with all the gay academics you came into contact with. They're all gay. Get used to eating academic dick and you will become a top tier academic with the best of them.

is a coding bootcamp as good as a phd?

only bugmen do shit like that

recruiters are looking for people with experience and abilities, not knowledge.

This, OP could be a good teacher, he could write books or lecture everyone about anything in the field. Employers just want to get shit done.

>tfw autist
Guess I'll be stuck flipping burgers.

wtf i thought that this was an autist field? are you telling me we have to be normal people?

Go teach. That's what everyone else with a PhD does.

Seems like it.

Oh well, I was planning on killing myself anyway.

Made me giggle

is being a teacher a good way to network?

It's a good way to fuck the lunch lady

do you really seriously have a PhD? man you shouldn't be having any trouble getting a job. do you have a DUI charge or something?

>not having a qt 3.14 lunch lady for sloppy toppy and sloppy joe

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just start the next facebook, fucking retard

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probably a larp

PhDs and everything else about higher education is worthless. All you really need is nepotism.
Where are your friends in high places?

I sometimes get the impression that a lot of people who whine about jobs on Jow Forums aren't quite honest about their situation.

7 years for a PhD and you dont see the problem? Is this what the youngs call "trolling"?

>expecting anyone on Jow Forums to be honest

maybe he is including undergrad?

>>inb4 remove your PhD from CV
>And leave a 7 year employment gap?!
it took you 7 years to get a degree that normally takes 4 to complete?

>he fell for the CS meme
Wrong field, one letter off, CE is where it's at

it still doesn't check out. you need to finish MSc to go to PhD program, right? MSc alone takes 5 years, at least in EU

He clearly says

Not sure if it’s true for CS, but you can go straight from undergrad to a PhD sometimes

how would it take 5 years to get a master??? wtf are you doing that it takes 5 years?

is CS at the grad level still full of spergs?

This. It's what I want to try to avoid I want to succeed without nepotism even if it takes a while. I mean I'm being offered a job by relatives and colleagues but I consider it nepotism.

just take it, those opportunities might not be there later

>What the fuck am I doing wrong Jow Forums?
you got a phd in meme science

Not him, but I think he meant M.Sc.Eng. which is a degree that contains both a B.Sc. and an M.Sc.

Is a phd ever worth it?

If you aren't a druggie then apply to some defense contractors
They are always looking for PhDs that are able to get through a security clearance

>falling for the kike defense contractor meme
have fun wage slaving for israel

This boy doesn't have many other options

an hero

or maybe he should start sending threats

>tfw everyone said you could get a job in webdev being self taught without a CS degree, if you had a decent portfolio
>every single job posting requires at least a bachelors

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This so much. I didn't start getting work until after I put that on my resume. Make sure to work on your bluster. Refluff school projects as jobs you did, etc.

I pray to God this isn't true, I only have a minor in CS

LARP or post diploma

That's to filter out stinky poos and "b-b-b-but I did a Udemy course I'm an expert in my field" faggots. You don't actually need a degree if you have a portfolio unless you're applying to a company with a complicated website.

Your approach is bad. If you have had no industry jobs while in your pursuit of your Ph.D. you will have to tailor your first job to whatever the emphasis of your research was. It might be a shit job for the gubment that only pays $80k. Do that for 2 years and then you'll be able to get a "real" job.

>nepotism is bad
Your philosophy is retarded and full of holes.

You have a sea of candidates. Millions of them.
Hundreds of people apply for one position.

You are a recruiter. What do you do?
1. feed the resumes through the automated HR system that you probably don't even control
2. you still have a bunch of resumes from faceless thirsty new grads
3. you set up an interview with them just to see if the resume is accurate and that they even partially fulfill the requirements of the job description and aren't a complete sperg that everyone in the office will hate.
4. Create a shortlist of applicants, they're all kind of the same--you can only figure out so much about a person in the hour you talk to them and have them solve problems for you
5. roll the fuckin dice, something has to cull the numbers for you.

or
1. you've known a guy for years and you know he's not a sperg and that he's actually capable of doing stuff because you've worked with him on projects before and you cooperate well with each other.
2. Done.
Oh my god how hard was that

You equate nepotism to corruption, everyone else equates nepotism to one of the most effective decision making tools available to humans.

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>7 years for PhD
Yeah, no wonder you're not getting hired. People don't want to hire retards.

PHDs are worthless for doing actual work. Just go work at some uni, spending half your time scrambling to justify your existence for grant money.

You're absolutely right, most people who complain about nepotism are fucking retards who didn't bother to make connections in college. Half of the reason you go there in the first place is for networking with other people in your field of work.

How did you not build relationships with people in such an intimate setting as esoteric CS for 7 years?
Why not just go back to academia? If you were truly aiming for industry work you should've at least taken an internship which would start to connect you to higher figures.

I can understand a recent Bachelor grad being in your situation because they're what, 22-23 and didn't figure out the game yet, but how did you live with your fingers in your ears for so long?

>everyone else equates nepotism to one of the most effective decision making tools available to humans.
This is just wrong. A completely randomized method of all the most qualified applicants is the best. Otherwise how else can you prevent the least adequate applicant from getting a job only because he decided to not master the craft but rather suck ass of potential employers

>only pays $80k.
I guess it's not much for someone that has a PhD but compared to what I make it seems like a massive amount of money.

>Still no diploma for CS
>Working for over a year in industry as web dev with decent pay

Literally just show some skills

are you one of those that thinks meritocracy is bad?