Programming women

If programming languages were women who would they be?

E.g. Lua: fun, dumb, playful, easy, kinda useless

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Lua: keeps her butthole clean

Lua looks pure until you get her in the bedroom and she shows you her metatables

>tfw no haskell gf to deny you sex

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>monads

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>Assembly
Literal Model stuns everyone with her looks, sex is terrific but since she’s anorexic there’s nothing to play with or hold onto. Initiating sex kid a very long process that requires you eating her ass for an hour before she will reciprocate
>JavaScript
You didn’t want to do this, but you agreed to take one for your friend. She’s the ugliest, fattest girl you’ve ever seen, and her personality is awful and inconsistent. She demands to be on top You close your eyes and hope it’s over soon
>C
A mature woman, but she’s aged like fine wine. she doesn’t have time for your childish games, and if you know what you’re doing you’ll have a great time. Also she forces you not to wear a condom
>LISP
A shy girl you met reading philosophy in a coffee shop. She has wild ideas which, if you understand her, are pretty neat. In the bedroom she does things to you that no woman should be capable of, and it confuses you greatly. You either learn to love her strange ways, or run away immediately
>Haskell
Like lisp but the cute female (male) reads Derrida and Lolita at that same time and In bed, her tricks involve a big black dildo. Only a select few enjoy this

> Go
Waifu material. Cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids, and supports you 100% -- so long as you don't want to do anything insane. Not the most attractive, but decent looking. Boring personality.

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>HTML
millionaire
>CSS
Billionaire
>Javascript
Jew

>python

a complete slut who actively seeks to take the virginity of as many men as possible

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>rust
Beautiful, intelligent, and well endowed, she’s everything you could hope for. Her admirers are very annoying and a little too enthusiastic about he maybe. She’s wild in bed but to do anything she makes you wear 2 condoms, latex gloves, safety goggles and a protective smock. It’s annoying and a little much, but once you really get going, boy are you grateful
>go
She’s cute, she’s sexy, but she’s really dumb. The sex is good, but she’s very vanilla, and won’t try anything exciting. You’re satisfied but you can’t help but look at other girls and daydream sometimes

Rust would be a christian girl with a chastity belt

Ah Kayla, you were such a dirty whore.

So Jow Forums's only hope then?

Dart is an all-rounder who's kind of plain and occasionally has innovative ideas. You're satisfied with how far she goes with help around the house and the basics, but you can't help but look at other girls and imagine.

>shell
>sitting on a monitor bezel
>60cm

WHAT THE FUCK? IT LOOKS LIKE A MONITOR BEZEL, IN THAT CASE, THE BITCH SHOULD BE 10 CM AT MOST!

Haskell also has a penis.

>E.g. Lua: fun, dumb, playful, easy, kinda useless
What are the more autistic languages?

>Also she forces you not to wear a condom
Fucking hot.

haskel:strong,hard,serious

C++ is having an identity crisis and contemplating suicide

remember thata japs use ancient technology so she's sitting on a primitive lcd screen with gigantic bezels

LaTeX is also in a way a programming language.... What does she look like? Amble over to for a review.