Post your Jow Forums resumes!

Anyone who walks in with webshit on their resume gets shown the door where I'm at

yeah, i too print out all of my projects code and send it in with my resume

What if I walk in with a tablet that has my resume and some recent projects?

>looks shit

Care to elaborate? I'm open to feedback. Also, a QR code? I doubt there is a high retention on that... But I do see where you're coming from. I just don't happen to hand out fliers by paper often, since everything is through email.

Anything to get past HR, haha :)

Better not have any webshit in your recent projects

What? I mean, that's fine I guess.

Widget? What? I have no idea what you’re trying to communicate with this resume. Can use command line? What capacity? Server? Compiling? I mean it’s a good start user just cut to the chase

fucking dirty niggers

shut up nigger

whitespace/10

everyone please follow this example.. maybe add 2-3 projects with 1-2 sentence summaries and you're golden

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perfect for career fairs and interviews! where you need to be doing all of the talking instead of them doing the reading

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Business fag here so I'm not gonna post my resume, but I'll try to offer you some advice.
To start, the whole thing just looks kind of empty. I understand you're a first year college student, but you need to work on populating your resume by the time you hit junior year. Take on a part time job for a couple of months (even if unrelated to your studies) or get involved in a club. Have something that indicates there is more to you than just being a codemonkey.

Teaching K-8 is actually really cool but you don't draw any attention to it. Write more about how it helped develop your communication skills (explaining advanced concepts to people unfamiliar with it), and your flexibility in the workplace since you had to deal with literal children.

Your skills section is, to be blunt, pathetic. Put at least 2 more bullet points there and they don't have to be anything amazing. Write something about building & maintaining computers/hardware and think of something else. One point is really not enough.

As for your education, put down any awards, clubs, or recognitions you received (as a freshman it's ok to put this stuff down for high school). This is something you'll probably be able to do as more semesters pass and you have time to accomplish more.

Just one last thing that isn't necessarily related to your resume, but I see you had a gap year between high school and college. It's extremely unlikely, but ice heard stories of people being asked during interviews why that was. It doesn't matter if you were a lazy fuckwit or too dumb to get into your college, but you should have a good believable answer for that. A lot of kids say some bullshit about travelling or "finding themselves", but unless your interviewer is into those things they're not going to buy any of that shit.

non-meme advice, thank you user

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I would merge "Skills" and the lists of things you know. Overall nice if no side projects

>gets shown the door where I'm at
As in "This is your new office, sir"?

As in "get the fuck out"

optimistic, i like it, you're hired user.

> taught core programming concepts to students k-8
How did kids in kindergarten take those?

Thank you for pointing out the gap year! In actually, I didn't take one. I wrote this resume at 1:00 AM before applying somewhere lol. I better fix those dates.

I didn't want to write too much in my resume because I've heard too much content makes recruiters run away and that they only give you around 10 seconds. I'd rather they read my resume than just flip over it, you know? Thank you for the feedback! I will take it to heart :)

They didn't. We use scratch because the place I work is a meme that exploits boomers in Silicon valley. Some children actually learned how to draw shapes, move objects, and other things in Processing, but only because we baby them with our "lessons." (Btw the lessons are written by college students still learning CS). Moving on to the next step is just clicking next. There is nothing that verifies they actually do what's inside. Think of a poor man's codecademy.

The older kids are very rowdy and spend more time socializing than working. It's sad to see their parents have to pay extra... The best children are from grades 3 - 5. They work hard, ask questions, and are interested in advancing. The ones younger haven't developed enough, and the ones older are wasting their time.

>you're hired

Working on mine now, I have 3 years exerience as a backend developer who also did front end shit. Im really nervous because all i know is nodejs and meme teir shit. and i just feel stupud as fuck

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I put some non programming related things in my projects section. Do employers like to see some sort of character to the people they might hire or am i wasting my breath putting that shit in there.

- Change Experience to Profession Experience
- Add more to Programming Instructor, maybe something about how often you teach, types of assignments, algorithms, etc
- Change the github hyperlink to a plain text full link to your user account page
- In skills, you need to add a lot more. What do you know in GNU/Linux? What distros do you know? How about maven/etc for compiling? Get creative, put in some buzzwords that recruiters are familiar with
- Put Education at the top - you have little experience, this is the most important experience you have at the moment (and no one gives a shit about high school, if that's the second line)

Hope this helps

*Professional Experience, fuck

Is this you? If so, hot.

Also, only two years of education? Why?

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yeah thats me, Im a brainlet and only went to a tech school for web dev. feels bad.

lol

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could work

this shows nothing else matters other than good experience
but you won't get any until you already have any so *shrug*

Listen up you JABRONIES

You want a job? Sending resumes out aint gunna do JACK SHIT.

Get on meetup.com search some tech meetups near you. Show up, meet like 5 people. they will know of some tech slack channels or some other way of getting in touch with more devs.

If not that, almost every meetup has people talking about job openings. Because you showed up you are already WAYYYY ahead of some JABRONIES just mass sending resumes.

I got a job at a startup making 45k with not even a finised two year degree in fucking web design, got put on backend. Got my job from a slack channel because i went to a meetup, im autistic as fuck. but i went to a small one and they started talking abotu that slack channel and i just said shoot me an invite plz. asked if anyone was hiring in the slackchannel some guy said, hey why dont you come in in tomorrow and well talk.

What do I do if I'm a junior in CE with a 2.03 GPA and the only work experience I've had is warehouses and moving companies?

make some cool little projects and a portfolio site. Go to a meetup, talk with people and show them stuff you are working on.
they need a jr dev and they see you arent reteded
they hire you
come back here and thank me

How are libraries languages you code monkey nigger? So you know like 2 actual languages? Java and JS? No C or python?

>see you arent retarded
but user

>meetup.com
I'm not using a nonfree job recruiting service

its not job recruitment. its a way to network. networking is far superior to slinging out resumes.

make jokes all you want, but i promise you going to a meetup about the language you wanna do and get paid to do is the best way to get a job

stallman.org/eventbrite.html

Oh well then why are you in this thread?
Almost any job you take on will not be compatible with his teachings.

You can always dream

first of all meeting 5 people on a meetup won't be benefitial in any way because they won't even like your kind
they only want marketing bubbly quirky types just the kind they themselves are
the talks are horrible the people even more horrible only positive side the free food they have sometimes and the chance to meet some weird autist that might show up sometimes but it doesn't happen because we've all learned to not go to retarded reddit tier picnics

Is it okay to have that I'm going to uni on a résumé or should I just add degrees I've actually earned?

ok keep blindly sending out those resumes

I read your resume under 10 seconds, and your resume is shit, unfortunately.

looking good user

should i add cursera and edex meme courses to my resume ?

Honestly lad it could use some improvement

Wtf is a widget, can you not describe it a bit more? Find it hard to believe an intern was in charge of something important.

Given it seems like you are just talking around the same subject, cut out the bullet points, have a summary line and an indented paragraph. Your CV looks sparse enough as it is, talk around it a bit.

Surely you can say some more things that are relevant. Do any testing before lobbing shit in prod? Use agile or some other meme bollocks?

Ignoring the instructor thing because no idea what K-8 is

There are two programming languages there, move the rest to "technologies" if you really want to keep them. Makes you look like an idiot otherwise

That skills section looks depressing. You clearly have more than that if you are including all the bollocks technologies above. As for that one thing you did include, at least don't say gnu/Linux makes you sound like a wanker. What are you actually good at? Using the coreutils stuff for dataprocessing? Linux admin? It feels too general and honestly I have no idea if your limit is just launching Firefox by typing the word in.

Education again can be useful to talk around if your experience is limited. Do anything interesting?

couldn't give a shit about your activities on social media, which seems to be most of what you've written. Surely you have something to say about a job you worked at for three years? Full stack!

This man gets a better job than you.

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good point, gunna nuke the facebook shit.
under the job ill list shit i did

A little outdated now, since I've started a new job. But it's the résumé I got my current position with.

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We don't really do this cv shit where I live. I made this one couple of days ago for one international company. It's pretty shitty I guess, since it's my first one.

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you got the job user

Dumb motherfucker, employers always print out resumes and quickly flick through them looking for key words and skim reading. No one likes reading on a monitor. When they see you're retarded enough to not put the github URL on it they'll just toss it in the trash, where it seems to belong anyway.

That's fucking Joseph Redmon, the guy who came up with the YOLO architecture for object detection. Of course he has a better job than 95% of Jow Forums

>lies and bullshit
That's all resumes are. Mine says in plain fucking English with no goddamn bullshit, what I can do and how they can't fuck my privacy and individualism over just because I'm begging for a job.

Thank fuck I gave up begging long ago and I do my own thing now, making enough to get by. Having to beg these fucking dehumanizing shithole places to give me pocket change in exchange for being fucked over made me have a nervous breakdown.

You'll understand one day, kids. One day you'll find out that the entire world is a shithole and you need to fight back.

oh hey good timing i put this one together fairly recently. mainly for gamedev but i doubt i'll get anywhere with it, prob just gonna end up down the webdev shitter eventually. also debating on whether or not to mention my linux autism or if that would even matter, i feel like personally that could be read as another "trying to squeeze too much shit into your resume" thing kinda like my OS line was. i'm also wondering whether or not i should even include a link to my "portfolio" since it's really just a bunch of shitty gamejam projects, i also feel kinda bad for devoting most of my time to making high-effort shitposts since like i got the knowledge for other types of media (music/video/etc) but few things i've made are really safe enough to show

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What kind of defeatist way of thinking, you are showing there user. The world doesn't owe you anything, if you have done absolutely nothing in order to deserve gratitude and compensation, why are you feeling entitled to it?

>oy vey goy you need to strip yourself of everything of value and come to us on your knees begging for a job
>oy vey goy why are you protesting this, you know you don't deserve anything right :^)
the world doesn't owe me anything, and i don't owe you anything user
if i see someone like you burning to death in a fucking car wreck i will not stop to help you, i hope you realize that

>if i see someone like you burning to death in a fucking car wreck i will not stop to help you, i hope you realize that
dude what

nigger, i have suffered for years on end at the hands of abusive friends, partners and family members, and all of them used that exact same fucking argument
>what do you mean i shouldn't have done x i don't have to do anything for you you're so spoiled how dare you
at this point i do not give a fuck if you are innocent or not, if you pull that shit, or even look like the type of person who would pull it, i will not lift a finger to help you

so yes, i would let you burn to death irl if i had the slightest inkling you're the type of person to let people eat shit while spouting that trite nonsense

go fuck yourself, change your behavior if you don't want people to hate you

>if i see someone like you burning to death in a fucking car wreck i will not stop to help you, i hope you realize that
This is why you're not getting any jobs or getting anywhere in life, user. You are an awful, self-centred human being and nobody likes you.

>i have suffered for years on end at the hands of abusive friends, partners and family members, and all of them used that exact same fucking argument
No, you didn't suffer abuse. You're just an entitled, egocentric little bitch.

>go fuck yourself, change your behavior if you don't want people to hate you
Ditto. You're the one that needs to lie on your resume, lol.

oh no, i will help normal people, i just won't help you if you're walking around in business casual sneering at people, in other words if you look like a enslaved business faggot

you started this user, and not just in this thread
i hope you remember this conversation the next time you ignore someone's suffering and let them burn

i wear business casual because it's comfortable and your perception of me sneering is just my socially awkward way of trying to show people that i'm terrified of them even though i actually am because some guy that doesn't even know me is hoping i burn to death at this moment just because i walk funny and have to wear expensive shoes because of it

>if you're walking around in business casual sneering at people, in other words if you look like a enslaved business faggot
First of all, I've never wore business casual to work, ever.

Secondly, are you really so shallow that you're judging people from what they wear?

Based on your shallowness and your sense of entitlement, I'm getting more and more convinced that you're actually a woman.

>i hope you remember this conversation the next time you ignore someone's suffering and let them burn
Your "suffering" about having to suck up to managers is no way similar to burning in a car wreck, you fucking entitled cunt.

>sneering at people,
You're the only one sneering at people ITT, user. You literally told him you would watch him burn to death ffs.

>Go to CV thread
>See people talking about watching employed people burn to death

Yeah, this is why you're struggling to find a job, Jow Forums. Methinks you need to adjust your attitude slightly.

I will never ever need to have a resume in life and i’ll be just fine lmao

Stay NPC you wage cucks

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oh hey, I used that template for mine too. I'd honestly get rid of the non-essentials, remove some of the padding between some of the lines, get it to fit, densely, onto a single page. Remember, the resume is primarily to get your foot in the door and past the initial screening shoah. It isn't going to get you the job on its own. Also re-order your work experience to start at most recent and go backward, like you have your independent project section already.

I like your layout, one quick glance and you can search for the relevant stuff quickly. Please upload the document somewhere

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Woah pal, we said no acronyms. Can you please spell out 'URL' SHHESH didnt think it was that hard...

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It's my own LaTeX template. I have it on GitHub, but kinda don't want to post the link here.

>tfw no references or work experience
Can I just fluff up some university projects and try to pass them off as my "side" projects? I'm pretty sure I'll be stacking shelves in grocery stores the rest of my life.

Why did your masters take so long

>Can I just fluff up some university projects and try to pass them off as my "side" projects?
You can simply list them as "projects".

>I'm pretty sure I'll be stacking shelves in grocery stores the rest of my life.
You probably need to gradually transition into something more relevant. SeeI started TA'ing and working at the university help desk before I gradually transitioned into the jobs I wanted. It took ages, but at least I earned some experience while still in uni.

My live-in gf at the time decided she wanted to fuck our landlord instead of me, and got me thrown out on the streets over night. Had to start working full-time in order to support myself and find somewhere to live, and I prioritised work over thesis writing for a long time.

What package did you use for multicolumn of different widths in LaTex? I've been searching for one and haven't found any that I can use for a resume, so I just ended up using photoshop. The closest thing I've found that might be useful are packages for posters.

geometry, and then used minipage to create the different sections.

The code is really messy as fuck and not easily maintainable, so I'm glad I condensed it all down to a single page.

Looks Danish or Norwegian (?) maybe. In Euroland, both Bacherlors and Masters tend to take much longer than in the UK or US. I did physics and the combined BSc/MSc (which didn't even exist back then) took 7 years. I was faster than most.

Yup, this is quite abysmal. People will think it's part of a practical joke or something. Take a look at this dude and go from there.

I'm Norwegian, yes. The master's is normalised to 2 years (on top of a 3-4 year bachelor's), but since education is "free" it doesn't really matter if you spend longer time. More research-oriented masters' in STEM fields tend to take longer time. The main reason I spent 4 years is however.

>The master's is normalised to 2 years
Same in Austria. The 'norm study time' is 3+2, but it's an exception if anyone's finishing in less than 6. Mostly due to the university (luckily) not giving a shit when you do your exams, or how you pace your study program.

other than your bleak format...
>actual basic shit he thinks counts as "experience"
>just a plain link to github, nothing interesting about it
>he thinks using a command line is a skill that workplaces value (literally just saying "i can use a gui without a gui")
>afraid to uncensor what school allowed him to put frameworks as programming languages
>java is the only actual language of value on the entire resume
the only thing missing from your resume is your picture, pajeet

you should put your phone number on there but put it in binary so people see how nerdy you are

>worked on a framework for distributed high-performance IO in a PCIe cluster
Stopped reading there, this resume is clearly not yours.

Why would it be someone else's?

Should I put a picture of me?

no

> Programming Languages
> HTML5
> CSS
Those are not programming languages, I hope you never get a job