What the fuck is the point of this thing?

It's so some pajeet at google can trigger a fart sound to play every time you're about to cum.

yes in more way than one. I think user was implying goolag gets to spy on you for free after you place this device in your home.

You use it with smartplugs, for which you can setup under Google Home and automate it.

"Google turn on computer"
"Google turn off the heater"
etc

Yeah aside from the whole spying garbage this is pretty cool.

BIG BLACK CAN vs little whyte speaker

Attached: echo plus.jpg (1024x512, 92K)

seeing if they could market spyware and get people to pay for it

Ok Google, schedule my terrorist attack for 23 Dec.

>pressing a fucking switch or button to turn on the computer or lights is too hard

Attached: ff474c45-6f7e-4f31-8ea1-fd8bc17b36a4-mama-619-386.png (619x386, 384K)

>>are required by law
>grab a rock from the street
>paint 4 dots on it
The feds will never find out.

but why

I have Alexa because they were on sale.

I have remote lighting so it's useful. I also get it to change thermostats temperatures. Also change tracks on Sonos when I'm in the gym. It can mess with the TVs too but it's a little crappy at that. Better to use the remotes.

>why
murica.

I use mine to play music, ask questions, and control my Nest thermostat. Highly recommended

It wasn't useful when clap-on did it it's not useful now. People just want to feel like they're living in the future, but when the spectacle wears off they'll just feel like idiots. Not that IoT is a gimmick; that shit's inevitable, but just control it from your smartphone.

I love mine. It's Mickey Mouse. Too lazy to take a photo, so here's the ad!

Attached: 0.jpg (512x512, 31K)

>clap-on wasn't useful
Only if you're retarded. When I was 12, I was using the clap-on in similar way smart home technology was doing. Lights/fans/heater/Audio equipment/etc.

It was a cheap mod that I could do before I had a grasp of programming

Sounds like you never grew up. Well don't let me rain on your happy clappy parade. Keep on clapping for us sinners.

normies paying to give all there information to the botnet.

This image gave me cancer.

"""IoT""" is a gimmick, completely avoidable, and you should never connect your smartphone to any of that crap.

List it on Craigslist as a Google Amazon Echo.

yeah. its actually insidious, and I don't use that word oft.

just buy a ps4 for $200

I think a smartphone is a natural control/diagnostics and stats display device.

None of these devices actually should need to communicate with a server outside of your LAN except maybe for updates, though.

these posts are jokes... right?

>shunning the Star Trek future we all dreamed about

Attached: 27A1F136-0263-4D74-BAEA-9C0B07AE56A9.jpg (1240x690, 177K)

If lack of imagination signifies adulthood, thank god Im not an "adult"

The ship's computer didn't record your every action and use it to try to sell you things.

I use these unironically. They control vizio TVs and android shields really well and I have it hooked up to the lights. Probably most useful when cooking to control things hands free, or when getting ready in the morning like checking the weather or getting up for work in the winter when it's dark and lighting up the room. I know they track and store all the commands but it's not consistently sending shit like a true wiretap. Even if they were they can always be unplugged.

>Not that IoT is a gimmick; that shit's inevitable

I think the future will have two types of people:

Ones that have iot everything, you'll know if your toilet seat is up

And people who have wireless nothing and are learning to read paper maps because they realized how these things are building permanent profiles of you and got rid of all of it.

say that to my face fucker, not online, and see what happens.

Attached: clap clap.jpg (420x450, 41K)

HOME BOTNET

SAME AS ALEXA

ALWAYS LISTENING

>i-its not like a REAL wiretap
yeah, you require a warrant and probable cause for them

I'm loving my Mickey everyday as I look over to it from my room. Weeeee!

>Listening to music on some tiny ass 2 watt mono speaker
Feels good knowing I will never be THIS pleb.

Give these to elderly so they have someone to talk to.

These things are pretty much free. Girlfriend got one included with the pans she recently bought. Told her not to open that shit.

The sounds is amazing. But just in case, I also bought the $300 Google Max, god tier speaker.

>tfw went to my first hackathon a couple months ago
>they were giving out Onions
>had to try it to see what the deal was
>it was mediocre coffee
It didn't that it wasn't even cold.

Attached: file.png (800x750, 157K)

>Girlfriend got one included with the pans she recently bought
IS THEN FUCKING NOTHING SAFE?
THE LINE IS DRAWN HERE.
SHOOT ALL INTERLOODERS SMUGGLING G-DEVICES INTO -YOUR HOME- ON SIGHT.
SPOT AN INFESTED NEIGHBOR TALKING ANIMATEDLY TO THEMSELVES THROUGH THE WINDOW? DOUSE WITH PETROL. BURN IT, BURN IT ALL. OUR LAST STAND IS NOW.

Why? Your smartphone already does it. It doesn't even matter anymore.

To record all audio in your home for building a marketing database about you.

I am not part of the Google botnet... Apple is fine.

>$300 mono speaker
YIKES

"OK GOOGLE" REPLAY THE CONTINUAL AUDIO BUFFER YOURE RECORDING AT ALL TIMES ANYWAY

OR SIRI, ALEXA, WHOEVERS IN THE ROOM

The fuck you on about? The clapper did not distinguish if you wanted to turn off a lamp but turn on the kettle.

The speaker is fucking terrible. Even 2nd gen Echo Dot is better. 3rd gen Dot is the way to go, though the Mini allows you to actually stream your own local music unlike the Amazon devices which try to railroad you into paying monthly for their service.

Yes and no. Simple controls are supported by the phone application but sting commands are via the Home system. Also other things like reading books aloud via a voice command with no button presses.

What the fuck is wrong with you? Using these things as a music output. Shame on you.

3rd gen Dot actually is a great speaker for $1.

To have a smart assistant without the smart phone. Duh. That said, it's an extremely niche use case, and I don't understand why they are so hyped by the tech world.

WRONG
When you sit it vertically, it goes to mono (in anticipation you will be using a second one on the other side

When horizontal, it switches to stereo.

It also automatically adjusts sound settings by detecting rooms. I will be buying a second one.

Smartphone microphones are shit. They definitely can't pick up commands from across the room.

Alternatively, I could use my HTCT 790 soundbar's bluetooth or USB to play music, or just stream Pandora or Spotify through my Roku.

Only if you can't afford a good smartphone. Let me guess, you don't by flagships? And don't talk to me about Samshit or iPoo.

What normie puts their smartphone across the room? Everyone keeps it within easy reach.

Some people actually go outside.

So you have the device you carry with you most of the time setup to always listen and bypass the lock screen?

Not with their smart speakers, they don't.

>carry smart phone outside
>some dumb normie says something
>get triggers

No, but if you're gonna have an always-on device in your house, why not just enable the one in your pocket?

We are talking about smart speakers, dumb shit. Not smartphones.

Okay I've added transpolar all of you lululemon to your shopping list

...

Because my Google Home mini is not at the bank teller.

DICK CANCER

>MFW GOOGLE'S SUPER TUNED SPYMIC LISTENS TO YOUR CELLS MUTATING FROM THE RADIOTRANSMITTER BY UR NUTS

Right, so why have the home mini?
I thought the Google assistant could differentiate between voices.

>know if your toilet seat is up
taking long shits can be a sign of illness, valuable information to healthcare insurances megacorps

if only you knew how bad things really were

Attached: pkkd.jpg (318x500, 32K)

>Flagship
>Not Samshit or iPoo
What are you buying then, LG bootloops, Google's knockoff iPoo? Please.

Attached: giphy.gif (480x366, 2.2M)

Great. That means either:
1. my insurance rates go down because I'm not an unhealthy turd
2. I get more dividends from my investments in insurance companies

>Great. That means either:
>1. my insurance rates go down because I'm not an unhealthy turd
>2. I get more dividends from my investments in insurance companies
why do I imagine you repeating this in a never-ending loop ?

>There's 'people' (and I use that word loosely) blatantly and unironically shilling Google's audio bugs on Jow Forums

The ABSOLUTE STATE of this board. Disgusting. Corporate shills are allowed to operate so openly. Shameful.

No

Privacy is a meme. You and I both know there's nothing we can do to stop the botnet. Unburden yourself from this illusion and enjoy the modern conveniences

Crazy that it's gotten to a point to where instead of getting stuff for "free" at the price of being botnet'd, people now actually pay for standalone botnet.
Girlfriend has one of these audio-telescreens and wants to put it in our kitchen

KNOCK KNOCK ITS BOOMERBOOK

NEVER MIND NO NEED TO KNOCK

JUST PUT THEM ALL IN A ROOM AND LET THEM FIGHT, DONT FORGET UR CORTANA LABTOB EITHER

Attached: fulxXwhRDxx.jpg (1200x1200, 210K)

I have no idea why Facebook would choose now, of all times, to launch that product.

Attached: holoscreened.jpg (923x771, 215K)

Except none of our tech is actually close to it. If you have a tricorder, you get actual readings from sensors on the machine itself.

If you have a smartphone, instead of having a sensor for it, it just asks google what the fucking temperature is in your area.

Without a power outlet, your phone is a worthless brick within 24 hours at best, and without internet access it's a fucking brick not even thick enough to be recycled as a door stopper. As that other user said, all that shit makes you feel like you're living in the future, but you're just being a retarded consumerist whore, and none of those gadgets have any actual value. They don't make you better, they couldn't help you survive, they just forward a shitton of metrics to the powers that be.

they realized, they in danger of getting out-surveillanced. gotta grab that customer data to resell before the competition do. all of it.

>you require a warrant and probable cause for them
Consider this for a second: Warrant requirements are a US thing. A few countries have something similar. Most countries don't, most European countries don't. The country I live in has near-zero restrictions.

These smart-devices scare the hell out of me.

You can disable all the Google stuff on a lot of smartphones. Also, the right response to "smartphone spies on you" is to disable it on the smartphone or drop having a smartphone. Thinking "resistance is futile" and buying more spyware isn't a solution.

>When horizontal, it switches to stereo.
It doesn't matter, not even a little. A small device with two small built-in speakers sounds like mono a few feet away from it, all "smart" and "bluetooth" speakers do. Compare it to a pair of bookshelf speakers a few meters apart and you'll hear the difference.

You have to spend more than $300 to get a nice amplifier and a pair of nice speakers but it's totally worth it. No "smart" or bluetooth speaker will sound anywhere near as good as a $1000 hi-fi setup. That's all you have to spend to get something that sounds magnitudes better than any stand-alone "speaker".

My soundbar and base sounds good enough for me, thanks.

In Orwell's vision, he thought the governments would force these spy devices in your home. He didn't realize how clever corporatists/security agencies are, and how they actually created spy devices that people voluntarily wanted in their home.

My neighbor could have Mycroft AI though, the free as in freedom personal assistant. Your enthusiasm is appreciated, but we have to be sure that friendly fire incidents are minimized.

mycroft.ai/

Remember the "shrek is love, shrek is life" copypasta? Now replace shrek with google and imagine you want that on a daily basis.
My boomer dad is really insistent on getting one but the only reason I've stopped it is because I've convinced my mom it'll spy on her.

So when are you going to undergo hrt?

Attached: aTXgm6M.gif (728x408, 1.07M)

> Right, so why have the home mini?
So I can use it while my hands are full in the kitchen where I do not conduct personal business.

>without internet access it's a fucking brick
If you don’t use everything-as-a-service it basically becomes a PDA. Which is still quite useful.