Resume/CV Thread

post tits

>cs degree
>whole experience consists about maintaining printers

Not sure if you really need to list your sabbaticals? I would definitively drop the one in 2013, since you're just listing years. Otherwise pretty clean resume.

Drop the "relevant coursework completed" section.

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Also, the objectives is unnecessary, everybody writes the same generic shit anyway, so remove it and cut straight to the point.

>(((protonmail)))

I hope y'all glow in the dark niggers are using Latex to make theses CVs.

Of course

Why would I hire someone who solves the first part of the first day of the advent of code using 8 lines, when they could do it in 1?

print sum(map(int, open('input')))

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Lol, you got me. Time to just give up, I guess.

Also, pretty nice solution user. :)

>4 years for a BSc
>4 years for a MSc
hummm.
I would be extra cautious about hiring you, how come you spent 3 extra years for a dumbed down math degree?
You didn't finish your phd?

>how come you spent 3 extra years for a dumbed down math degree?
I worked full time during my studies.

>You didn't finish your phd?
No, I'm currently working on that.

im better, but im not working

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will not hire, all this shit is childplay/palagiated
have aloot wanabe progect menegers like this for sell now

Have you ever tried applying to a big tech company with that? If they knocked you back, then I know I shouldn't even try.

Only half-assedly. My main problem is that I usually encounter recruiters, that aren't very knowledgable when it comes to tech, so they only see that they can check of certain items on their check list and then they want to do screening interviews with me (both Facebook and Google). The problem is that I find these insulting and demeaning, and I usually don't bother (why would I waste my time explaining how to sort a binary tree to some low-level manager when they themselves didn't even bother looking up my Github or reading any of my publications).

However, I was contacted by a couple of startups that found my github, one in New Zealand and one in Texas. Both of them extended an offer, and I was really tempted and almost took the latter one but chose to focus on completing my PhD instead.

*search a binary tree

>they can check of certain items on their check list
I gotta get a copy of that list!

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The last one from Facebook didn't even bother communicating with me and just sent me the list to check off myself.

I replied back and even then she didn't even bother reading the emails and just pushed forward, it was almost talking to a bot with standardised replies.

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>Microsoft
>Convinced team to use modern practices such as version control and pass/fail tests
JUST

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>Currently developing a framework for high-performance distributed I/O
Stopped reading there. Would probably hire you on this alone.

>Nice to e-meet you!

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will not hire, all this shit is childplay/palagiated
have aloot wanabe progect menegers like this for sell now

Yeah, pretty much my reaction too.

tl;dr and take that gay as fuck watermark thing off the top right it made me want to throw the thing in the trash

>watermark
What? It's my contact info...

yea..
present it in a more professional manner or good luck finding someone to hire you,

this i can hire

>present it in a more professional manner
If listing my phone number and email aren't "professional" enough, I don't know what you want from me.

>good luck finding someone to hire you
I don't seem to have this problem, so meh.

neck yourself incompetent recruiter scum

just drop the graphic, i don't see how you can be a software major and not get that.
i work at a temp agency and get resumes like this on the daily and if i see a shitty graphic or tag with contact info it gets filed LAST so.

>baaaaaah why isn't this in a standardized Microsoft Word template, I can't read this or parse it automatically!!!!
A little TeX too much for you to handle?

fuck you and your ramen noodle diet, filth

If they had good knowledge of it they wouldn't be recruiters

no but in a world outside your parents basement they actually dont know or care about your feelings on the subject

>just drop the graphic
No

>i don't see how you can be a software major and not get that.
I'm not a "major", you clearly didn't read my résumé at all.

>i work at a temp agency and get resumes like this on the daily and if i see a shitty graphic or tag with contact info it gets filed LAST so.
This is why I sincerely believe recruiters are incompetent. You're not better than the lazy Facebook recruiter I posted in

seriously, just kill yourself
your brain activity is already at the level of being legally dead, you just need to stab yourself a few times to catch the rest of your body up

go back to your faggot wow private server slut

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o shit i might not have read it because of how distracting and crappy your contact info graphic was, also get used to it because me and a million other employers do the same thing on a daily basis

Unless your company is great at promotion and career pathways then yes.

you should probably hire a bodyguard with how unbelievably facepunchingly stupid you're being
soemone is going to end up introducing a blackjack to your face one of these days and be entirely justified

My rule of thumb is that if the people looking at my résumé are that lazy, they clearly work somewhere I never want to work.

So this is a win-win scenario for us both, trust me.

i wish that was the case but surprisingly no. this is how the world operates, you cant just throw a fit and a punch and expect everything to be okay, so drop the big boy act and go back to your porn session

so in all the places you worked you never noticed how incompetent your co-workers could potentially be? to the point where your HR dosnt give a shit about you or your abilitys?

The two-column format is really clever, I like that.

He's a software engineer and you're stuck being a paper-pusher at a temp recruiter currently shitposting on 4chins. I'm just saying I think I know who I'm going to listen to.

>so in all the places you worked you never noticed how incompetent your co-workers could potentially be
They aren't incompetent.

>to the point where your HR dosnt give a shit about you or your abilitys?
We currently don't even have HR. And I didn't in my last job either.

>ITT faggots working at temp agencies try to inflate their self worth
Lmao

listen his credentials are top notch, I am merely suggesting a way to present them without having his resume brushed in the trash, from experience

>dont have HR
Nigger what? Bullshit.

talk shit but unless you have daddy buy you everything youll find yourself in line here

It's presented clean and structured, next to his name, and it stands out (like it should, because it's the most important after all) because it's in a bordered box. I don't see what's wrong with it at all. I'm actually considering doing the exact same.

Not him, but you can't just be incompetent to the point of screwing up entire industries and expect everything to be okay. Frivolously ignoring resumes fucks over talented workers who are entirely qualified for whatever job it is. People have limits. Destroy their livelihood enough and you'll reach those limits pretty fast.

I won't and I didnt though. I'm not an American though so I dont have to stoop so low.

The office is 10 employee's, where 6 of us are developers, two work with hardware and the CTO and the CEO. And there's 17 employees in total, the remaining seven are 2 off-site devs, a couple of sales and tech sales and region managers. Why would we even need a HR department?

Oh right. Sorry I thought you had a real job.

>why would we even need a HR department?
so you can stick their heads on pikes as a warning to the rest of the hr maggots crawling around that their days of unchecked incompetence are numbered

the point is its there, and half the time its not me calling the shots, i send it to the company they call me with an accept and a reject and 9 out of 10 resumes with a graphic get shit canned

like i said i don't call the shots i just try to convince companies to hire

fair enough, jobs are scams here anyways

as the temp agency, ive never agreed with a comment so much in my life,

Your butthurt is showing. HR does not define what a "real job" is. You're just proving my point that HR and administration are continuously self-serving and inflate their self-worth. Protip: your work is to make sure that the workers that actually run the company are happy.

lol

>the point is its there, and half the time its not me calling the shots, i send it to the company they call me with an accept and a reject and 9 out of 10 resumes with a graphic get shit canned
And as the guy with the resumé, I'm actually okay with this. A manager or boss that doesn't even look at CVs and relies on drones to filter for him, instead of actually looking for talent out there by attending conferences and searching github and open source projects, is a boss or manager I would absolutely hate working for.

I'm not the temp agency user. I just have a real job. You should do a better job of keeping track of who you're talking too. Maybe someone who specializes in managing humans as a resource could help you out.

>humans = resources
Sounds like an Orwellian nightmare.

im offering advice, bigger companys with bigger pay on a higher scale all use the same lacky system. you can be as picky as you want until you cant and then it becomes a struggle.

thats a hard reality I've come to terms with.

you niggers need to talk less about specifics and more about how you made a difference, which is what an employer wants to see

>unironically bragging about being a corporate cogwheel while other user is probably working with the company's core competency and have a degree of freedom, flexibilities and responsibilities you can't put a price tag on
Enjoy your 9-5 cubicle work and dealing with Janice in HR's nagging about those forms you never filled out.

employers need to talk less about bullshit worker shortages are more about how theyre going to fix the incompetent hr departments

>im offering advice,
I appreciate it, but seeing that I continuously receive attention from recruiters all the time, I really doubt that they are as rigid as you're claiming they are. Most of the people I send my resumé to actually commends me on how structured and organised it is.

>thats a hard reality I've come to terms with.
I agree with you, but specifics are often more tangible and concrete and therefore easier to list.

>Janice in HR
>normie meme from late night talk show
Consider suicide maggot

have they offered you an actual job or are you just posting on Jow Forums for the hell of it?

Don't know why it quoted that text. Ignore the greentext.

Anyone with some more entry level CVs, this thread is making me feel like shit

No one cares that you took intro to computer science as a cs major or intro to computers. Your job at staples doesn’t matter. Write your resume in LaTeX.

i guess, i specifically (trained to) look for business experience hiccups. also calling references and playing paper detective. after a year or 2 you start to pick up on discrepancies rather quickly and relie more on intuition

Who do you mean? I'm currently employed.

As for recruiters, most recruiters are usually looking for something that isn't all that relevant. The people that are interesting are usually managers or CTOs that actively look themselves, and I sometimes agree to interview and do the process with them. I got offered a job in summer, which I declined for my current job and in order to complete my PhD.

Man I only have experience as a financial analyst in university in our financial association of the university faculty of economics and management and I have an ok amount of knowledge in using Python, R, C and SQL. We invest with our own money which combined is 20k and we have weekly meetings and stockpitches etc. Got a job offer to work in Dublin As a fixed income analyst for Infosys and I didn't even finish my BS in economics yet. Don't worry.

>Your job at staples doesn’t matter.
With that limited experience, I'd say that it does matter because it shows that you can be a trusted worker. When you have more relevant experience, then I agree with you, only list the relevant stuff.

>small startup
>employed
Lol no

most recuriters need to be hung drawn and quartered
go full medieval on their collective ass

It's not a start up, it's just small. Laugh all you want, but I get to work on interesting stuff and make a decent salary.

Pic related, it's the offer I got this summer that said no to for my current job.

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this one is actually tough, because its right and wrong.
if about a year like the resume stated you only need to put how long, and at the interview you can fill out the details.
if longer then you can put some candid details but keep them short and limited to like 2

>email
>.no

Norway?

thats about as much as a tier 1 store manager
at Walmart makes, congratulations.

>that small and not a startup
Lol sounds like a failed business

What Walmarts do you go to cunt

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Yes

Good for them, I'd say a $110k salary is pretty decent no matter what your job is.

>25 years and going
>failed
It only means that we're filling a niche marked and never hired self-serving admin/HR people that actively bloat management by creating fictitious jobs for themselves and hiring more managers and HR to do the jobs they were supposed to do to begin with.

Very nice.

how does a Norwegian get a offer in the US?

explain that to me. or do you already work in the US?