What fluid is optimal for destroying the phones?

What fluid is optimal for destroying the phones?

My roommate stole money off my dresser and I want to descretly spill shit on their phone for revenge.

Milkshake? Coke? Water?

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cum

dude, we only talk about which linux distro is "better" here since 10 years straight

Lava.

Soak batteries in water in the bathroom sink for a while then pour that shit on it.

I'm sure someone knows what's best.

It's an IPhone 8S so it's somewhat resistant, I'm guessing sticky shit is better?

They stole $300 off my dresser.

The fuck you doing this shit discreetly for then? Steal the damn phone in it's entirety then come back and ask how to wipe it to sell for $300

What would that do?

>Step 1.) Smash it with a hammer
>Step 2.) Drop it water
Sorted.

if it was from a dresser, it requires 2 liters of extra water

I said it. Soak some AA bateries in water to contiminate the water then pour the water on the phone. But now I'm telling him to steal and sell the phone.

It's only the two of us, if I steal it they'll know

I could try and press charges but I'm sorts broke and finding a replacement roommate right now would be rough.

Car battery electrolyte.

The fucks he gonna do?

"Officer! Officer! I stole my roommates $300 and then he stole my phone to sell to get it back!"

SALT WATER

its obvs a woman that stole the money, iphone 8s was the dead giveaway

Feed him batteries in his sleep. If he wakes up, keep going.

alcohol. it evaporates and due to lower surface tension it seeps in easier

Nah, I've soaked a phone in alcohol to undo lake damage. Distilled water is better.

Salt water or Mercury. Pour in crack.

Distilled water lacks impurities, meaning it doesn't conduct electricity.

why not just rub a strong ass magnet?

We're not looking to short with dissolved minerals. Distilled water will corrode things.

Microwave it for 10-15 seconds.
Do it to the replacement phone he gets too.

how about you be a man, and instead of acting like a conniving little bitch, you confront him and get your money back?

You don't want an arms race with your room mate. Just never leave your valuables out, start looking for a new room mate, and plot an absolute doozy of a revenge when he moves out. Just don't do something like trash his phone because you might have to deal with him for quite awhile still. Someone unstable enough to steal money in your dresser is probably willing to slash you tires or destroy your valuables too.

this

quit being a bitch and talk. What's the worst that will happen? He fights you and you call the cops for assault? For all we know you could be a fag not paying his share of the rent so your roomate just took the money. If you're living with someone you don't know and can't trust that's your own fault.

Acetone

cringe

Saltwater. Most waterproof phones can't even deal with it.

What do you think that will do, you fucking retard?

whats cringe is being a beta when someone steals $300 from you and not saying anything. pathetic

This, 100x this. Except turn the screen on and stop the microwave as soon as it dies. Should take like a second or less and it won't look physically damaged at all. Going for 10+ seconds is super overkill.

Create nerve gas, obviously.

And going and going and going

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Use some salt water

microwave fluid

Coke is pretty good, as it has phosphoric acid in it, which can eat away circuitry pretty well.

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My gf's crazy 'Nam uncle told me Coke is only good for cleaning rust off of Jeeps, so probably that.

Holly fuck I love my crazy autistic roomate, he never stole shit from me and he's been like a bro from another mother and another father

go to the hardware store and get some muriatic acid. it will etch the screen. wont kill the phone but it will drive the user insane

Or get helium in it to temporarily break it. It won't work at all for a few days and then it'll mysteriously work again, provided he hasn't chucked it or spent money to get it fixed by then.

ricin

Install vm with gentoo or templeos on it
Put the ios background and make it look similar

fpbp

genius

damage it?

>room-mate is desperate enough for money they will steal 300 dollars

Won't destroying his phone just make him more likely to steal more things? OP you fucking suck at dealing with bad behaviour. If it really was him, just take the money back, right from his wallet. Or get the cops involved or if it's a girl, demand she have sex with you to pay off her debt. The going price for a thieving bitch is 50 per session.

How?

sesame oil
that shit will smell so strongly for the next millennia

Destroying or sabatoging his stuff is only going to make your problems worse OP
confront that shithead, or steal your money back if you have to. change the locks so he can't get inside stop having roomates you can't even trust with your room

by manipulating the flow of electrons until something shorts out

>the virgin phone breaker
>the chad life ruinator

plant drugs in his room and call the police

based and checkpill'd

caption this image

>subliminally messaging TechRax

This will work best. He won't think that you caused it this way, he doesn't have a way to detect it, and the helium could have come from anywhere.

salt water destroys everythin, it's fucked

water + salt + sugar

If it's an iPhone, get some helium. Should break it for a few weeks or so.
Not a fluid, but even more discrete than spilling shit on it.

Remove the voltage regulator circuit from their power supply and have the main feed directly into their phone. Make them think they fucked the phone somehow.

op why cant you accept the fact you're a fucking idiot for tempting the devil and you got what you deserved?
stop trying to ruin other people's life just cause yours is shit

hydrofluoric acid

I knew cringeposters were little beta faggots. You'd let someone steal $300 and not confront them?

Soak phone in his blood.

Aqua regia, when they try to wipe it off their fingertips will melt off

A) I chuckled at some of these suggestions, good topic

B) Ask roommate about it
Maybe they had someone over & that scumbag stole it
Keep in mind that this will alert them to you being suspicious
So if their phone gets mysteriously fucked by lava....well it may not be so mysterious

C) you could buy/borrow a cheap spy camera (eBay, Amazon, PawnShop) & show it to roommate & say it’s been recording your room, & then ask about it

D) I second the “Lava” suggestion

E) White Russian
(Vodka, Coffee Liquor & Milk)

F) Protein Shake
(Protein Powder, Milk, lots of Honey)

Tested by the based
youtube.com/watch?v=FOgsjd5Uxt4