You are mysteriously sent back in time wearing what you have on right now

>you are mysteriously sent back in time wearing what you have on right now
>you are brought to the meeting room inside of bell labs, in the late 60s early 70s
>all of the top engineers are staring directly at you, wondering who you are
>in front of you is Ken Thompson, Rob Pike, Dennis Ritchie, and other top engineers

>you are to convince them you're not a soviet spy with a failed invisibility device, and you are to change the future for the better
What do you do?

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Blow the lab up and make the world a better place.

hand them the systemd source code

I speak in perfect Hindi and nullify their suspicions of me being a Soviet spy.

Tell them to add multiple returns to C

I'm wearing an adidas tracksuit so it's ironic and very difficult for me to convince them I'm anything but a slav spy.

>wearing what you have on right now

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tell them to install void linux

>in the late 60s early 70s

Leave them to it, and go and visit Charles Manson.

Why would I want to change the future for the better?

>you are mysteriously sent back in time wearing what you have on right now
So... no shirt, and a pair of pajama pants.

>you are brought to the meeting room inside of bell labs, in the late 60s early 70s
Well, which year in specific?

>all of the top engineers are staring directly at you, wondering who you are
"I have no idea how the fuck I got here."

>in front of you is Ken Thompson, Rob Pike, Dennis Ritchie, and other top engineers
So... I take it they're working on creating BCPL or C?

>you are to convince them you're not a soviet spy with a failed invisibility device, and you are to change the future for the better
Invisibility devices are impossible, I clearly do not have any Slavic features, and when you guys create the standard library for the C programming language, be sure to make the gets() function take a second argument indicating the maximum number of bytes to be read. It is absolutely imperative that programs not be able to inadvertently write past the end of a buffer of memory. Otherwise the soviets will be able to completely destroy our computer systems.

I would convince them to laugh at anyone who suggested that something called "The world wide web" should be created, and if they ever meet a guy called Tim Berners Lee, they should put a drawing pin on his chair and stick a note on his back saying "Kick me up the ass"

encouraging suicide is illegal

but I'm nude right now...?

Based and redpilled

You still have to convince them. You might get s few wondering eyes from people still in the closet. But given the circumstances, they might listen

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Explain to Dennis that the Unix he helped create will become something beautiful one day. Show them my Apple Watch.

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>*get's close* alright let me tell you about the jews

insta-win. too ez

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Invent JS, everyone is so disgusted by it that they just abandon computers altogether. Then I can live out my days as a cowboy.

That is actually a good idea, especially because it's just syntactic sugar it would be easy to add.
Apart from that I don't know.
Many other design choices of C were kind of necessary for the time they were made in.

find out where bill gates lives & incapacitate him

I'm naked right now so I instantly fail.

I have a good idea.
Convince them to open source UNIX and then plan9.
That might save us all from the OS clusterfuck that happened.

install gentoo.

i only know networking logic so there won't be a ton of help i can provide

>you are to convince them you're not a soviet spy with a failed invisibility device, and you are to change the future for the better
The most implausible thing here is not time travel, but the last part of the sentence. Nobody here has any technical knowledge worth a fucking damn they could communicate to them. They couldn't make a useful product out of anything you'd be able to tell them.

Hopefully this is just bait. These people did make the world a better place.
youtu.be/tc4ROCJYbm0

2edgy, try again plz.

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they knew already the moment you shitted on the aisle

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you know you can return a pointer to memory to any kind of data/sets/object etc.

Yes, but it would be more convenient to write with mutiple returns.
Would probably also lead to less "value-fragmentation", where a specific value is used to indicate a special case (for example null).
I think it would be a good idea. The dudes do think so nowadays too, so I guess convincing them of it would be easy.

>Not knowing the Indians and Soviets signed a treaty of friendship, peace and co-operation in 1971.

Fuck Off commie spy.

>you are mysteriously sent back in time wearing what you have on right now
>you are brought to the meeting room inside of bell labs, in the late 60s early 70s
>all of the top engineers are staring directly at you, wondering who you are
>in front of you is Ken Thompson, Rob Pike, Dennis Ritchie, and other top engineers
>you are to convince them you're not a soviet spy with a failed invisibility device, and you are to change the future for the better
Well, this is embarrassing.

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Part of me would want to tell them that they are making a huge mistake by overlooking security, but if I succeeded in convincing them in the past, I wouldn't have my career in the present. So I'd probably just keep my mouth shut.

Fuck off idiot and stop heap allocating memory for no reason.

why tho

why do people hate JS so much?

No need to heap allocate anything.
It's just tedious to write because you have to do basically this:
int ret1;
int ret2 = function(&ret1);
all the time.
Gets pretty annoying.

That's nice but he explicitly said returning pointers.

I see. I didn't read further than "you can", because I thought it was obvious what could be done.

fpbp

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Terribly designed language that is inconsistent and needlessly complicated.

>JS
>complicated
For you.
It's the overused framework that made it a meme and popular as fuck,

pull out my flagship android phone and show them fortnite.

They will hire you as a super computer specialist.

Convince them to expand the OO capabilities of C so we will never get C++ aka C with Classes.

you are nothing without a degree

>you are nothing without a degree
>this is what millenials have been led to believe

top lyl

I tell them im a time traveller and that tech is going to get better but not really.

>69155201
I'd be more pressed to get a degree if it didn't put me 200K in debt seriously how is that even fair?

oh my god, I'm so sorry! How did this even happen? Could you please get me a towel or something? This is Bell Labs isn't it? I see, could you get your scientists here? I'm from the future and did not make this trip purposely. The mechanisms by which I was transported here are probably worth studying. I can provide you with technology from decades into the future, but you must promise me that you will not ask about where it came from, EVER!

After putting some clothes on, I go to the bathroom and remove the internet connected vibrator from my ass. There's lithium ion batteries, flash memory, gigabytes of ram, a full linux operating system, a wifi controller, and more. This single vibrator radically changes the course of human history.

>I'd be more pressed to get a degree if it didn't put me 200K in debt seriously how is that even fair?

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>kanade
I see a man of the true old culture

I don't want to know what you're doing browsing Jow Forums with a vibrator up your ass

salsa my friend ??

>advancing technology makes the world better
when the robots take your job and murder you, remember to thank these people

>shitted on the aisle
Maybe fix your own broken English first

>What do you do?
when in doubt: install gentoo

>Go find Nixon
>Convince him not to do the watergate because he’s the greatest president of all time and will win in a landslide anyway
>Humanity is improved

>in front of you is Ken Thompson, Rob Pike, Dennis Ritchie, and other top engineers
why are these strange bearded guys hanging out with 11 yo??? I guess I ask to borrow the videophone and call the cops.

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ahaahahah

I'm fapping right now. That would be awesome.

Make everything non-English.

i think it's war games

get out and enjoy free love and drugs and rocknroll. or sign up to fight the gooks in 'nam
computer shit was so utterly shit back then fuck that shit

Just don't wear such degenerate shit.

>>you are mysteriously sent back in time wearing what you have on right now
>tfw i'm not wearing anything right now

Based Ted

On the contrary. Show them typescript and everyone would built everything out of it.

I'm wearing a white shirt, boxers, socks, and nothing else. I am fairly certain soviet spies using invisibility devices would not look like this.
As for Bell Labs, I would tell them to make really sure EVERYTHING is a file (calling upon my vague knowledge of Plan 9 to make sure they basically make that), and then strictly warn Pike that there will be a corporation called Google which will pretend to do many things to improve technology but will ultimately result in immeasurable harm being done to humanity, and to under no circumstances join them or work with them even if at first they seem innocuous and even benevolent.

Also once I'm there I would do my best to get IP/TCP to be designed with encryption, security and privacy by default in mind. Same for stuff like email and DNS.

I am bigger, stronger and darker. I kick the ass of every one of them.

>What do you do?
Start yelling that I am from the future, and you know who wrecked everything and have taken hold of media, the fed reserve and go down the whole list, go on whole world turns to some dark utopia in 60yrs and something needs to be done about it, then quickly ask if there are any Jews in the room, you see where this is going?

Well I don't know much about early hardware / software advances, but I could probably introduce some encryption algorithms to them if they weren't already published yet (des, rsa, ecc), maybe also outline certificates, signing, eap md5 if I remember how it works...