Landed that programming job yet, Jow Forums?

I have transcended the need for work.

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No I am an unhirable dumb jobcel. I'm tired of studying and burned out from shitty professors and difficult classes. Hoping to get into IT

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Bitch I work as a security guard. No one to bother me all night and I can do shit on my chinkpad as I please while getting paid to sit there.

Programming jobs are all shit. My previous sysadmin job was comfy but I wanted to relocate so now I'm a devops which is still good enough + I buy 3 thinkpads for my collection each month

If I don't have a job in July I would honestly suck some dick for at least an internship. As long as he doesn't cum in my mouth and all I have to do is lick

>hiring process is fucked
wanna know how I know you failed your technical interviews?

How bitch

LMAO, just dyr your hair pink, get your septum pierced and start going by they/them. It's really that easy.

Quick reminder Elon wants spaceships with solar panels sent to the outskirts of the solar system where the sun is thousands of times weaker

he wants to send cars to space where there's no roads too, I think it might just be a way to promote his car and solar panel business

>all I have to do is lick
You don't want it enough to work there.

Don't act like you need it and they'll think you'll be worth a shot.

whole lotta coping ITT

Yes, but for ASS400 IBM system using old ass RPG. Programmers for this are rare they are paying me to learn it for.

Do you autists really have trouble finding dev work? I've gone from $60k a year to $130k in 4 years time, and never had the slightest challenge finding positions. Good ones, maybe, but even then, I'd usually have one in less than a week from the point where I started to look. What are you faggots doing wrong?

Inb4 some pajeet motherfucker team "LEAD" starts talking shit about your qualification here on Jow Forums.

yeah, working from home rn waiting to start my first of 3 status meetings

fml

Company closed up shop a few months ago and it's been a bit of a rough job search, but I've got a phone screen next week that I'm feeling confident about.

This. Tech industry is fucking trash

Former recruiter here.
From UK so take as you wish.
Wanna know the best way to get a job without a degree but you got some skills?

HAI MR RECRUITER ME GOOD AT JOB ME HAVE GITHUB YOU SEE NOW?!

Seriously, recruiters do not fuck around with companies. With the people applying? Yeah, if you have nothing to prove that you're worth shit, we don't care. But if you have a good github/projects/something we care and we talk that up to the client.

Basically, good companies use recruiters (both external and internal) to be human measuring sticks.
So get in contact with some recruiters.

Oh and someone once asked me: how much? Free - any recruiter that gets you to pay them is a con artist

This. Are you retards seriously unaware of how easy it is to do this?

>by 2100 nobody will be able to work, machines will displace us
ftfy

That is my dream, or a meter maid because that seems chill AF unless you have to work in some total shithole.

Yes, developing a big system with its own communication protocols, working with senior devs with years in the field. All without a degree.

Wait, what the fuck is an "HR phone screen". They check your phone for problematic content? I guess i should get used to being unemployed then lol

I got a FAANG job lined up after my 2nd year of college. I don't know how anyone can have issues finding a job in today's environment.

>tfw underqualified for career job
>tfw overqualified for menial easy job

I should've just hung out with the "cool" kids with daddys money who more likely could help me land a job in their companies but no.
Thats what i get from college, you dont go expecting to get a job with the things you learnt there, you go there to make friends with people in good places.

good thing im not in student debt, wew. Otherwise i wouldve kys

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>have 9 years of experience
>3 years break for education
I hope this won't be an ISSUE for them HRfags

Same here. I work security and other than my occasional patrol days where I have to walk around once an hour, most of my days consist of me literally sitting and browsing websites. It's about 38k a year and the time flies. I know I'm growing complacent with this dead end job but I don't have the discipline to study. It is to dream job for a neet or something who wants to study on the job but I just can't.

How do u work from home?

Getting a software dev job is piss easy unless you only know some meme shit like Haskell.

I've heard security guards work for 12h a day instead of 8 and wages are somewhat 8h standard. Is this true?

It's not that hard

1. Find a popular project with lots of contributions and big corps behind it.
2. Start contributing small changes - bug fixes, clean up things.
3. Get to know people. This is important.
4. Start working on features.
5. Become a full contributor.
6. Attend conferences for more networking.
7. You'll be swarmed with offers.

Yeah, but now I'm a product manager so I tell zoomer script kiddies and pajeets what to do.

>Why does every company avoid hiring people without tons of experience and education when that's what has happened for hundreds of years?
Because now that most jobbies have been outsourced to pajeetland and chinkland, companies can actually get to be picky with who they hire. You're at their mercy.

I got 2 raises last year :) and i imagine i will get one or two this year

The hiring process became fucked when useless HR drones became involved in the process.
In the past you could be reasonably sure that the person interviewing you would be competent in the field, nowaday it's probably just a useless cunt with a HR degree following a script. Also don't underestimate the role of physical appeareance and personality in the interview process (yes, confident Chad is going to get hired over you most of the time).
Moreover credential inflation means that a degree is almost necessary, even in fields that didn't need it a few decades ago. A degree is treated basically as a very expensive IQ test. Finally the whole job market isn't as florid as it was in the boomer's era, rampat outsourcing is rampant etc. etc.

Oh, also don't forget nepotism.

I treat the fucked hiring process just as another symptom of a decaying west.

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I got a job just like in the first pic. Must suck to not live in a white country.

>Must suck to not live in a white country.

Like what?

yes i did, it took me almost a month to find something after i finished uni because i wanted specifically to program in android, but now i'm here. recruitment process was pretty much like in first image, guy asked some questions, i only knew some of the answers, then i got a job. life is good

We already have enough technology to do so, but we are using it to create more bullshit jobs instead.

Yeah I noticed getting a tech job and getting girls requires the same tactics. Getting a job is like losing your virginity but harder. I should've spent my time mastering attraction/selling myself.

>Landed that programming job yet, Jow Forums?
A long time ago.

Had a job, had to leave because they stopped paying wages. Unemployed almost a year. Overqualified for the one logistics/inventory job I was interviewed for, literally ghosted the handful of times I had a real interview.

>job setting up dairy equipment
>need a Bachelor's degree
>and you must have designed and raised your own barn
Literally when I search for jobs 90% are 5+ year minimum or are senior positions.

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Yeah, they're pretty desperate in parts of the UK though

i hate people and i dont want to get to know them

Which parts, exactly? Asking for an Indian friend.

Bro every pajandeep motherfucker I've worked with either lied on their resume or are fucking retarded

>not working in a trade and doing programming as a hobby or as an aid for your trade

Y'all don't realize how useful programming is in other fields where people don't know about programming. I know a guy who applied this knowledge towards another trade in order to track the work and ended up saving his company a gorillion dollars and is now top executive.

You are never going to get anywhere with that attitude user. A real go getter would deep throat for an unpaid internship which requires a graduate degree.

The only reason this pic is true is because now you have too many people applying for the same job due to lack of societal resources, and companies absolutely need to introduce bullshit requirements to widdle the amount of applicants down. You think it's bad now? Just wait another decade when it's even worse. And it will happen. Because the human population is booming but there is still a finite amount of resources society has to offer to an ever increasing pool of leeches.

How did this field get so saturated? It's not like it's braindead easy, is it?

Yes, over a year ago.
And previous one for 2.5 years.

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See There's a finite amount of resources to go around, in this case jobs, and more and more people are trying to apply to them because there are more and more people born who go on to want to do said jobs.

Go apply for a corporate intern program. They rarely be those on your social skills any more and purely on your grades. Do one somewhere outside a bit city of you want higher chances. Unless your grades are shit in which case suck a dick.

point me to a such a large project which anyone can jump into and actually contribute features

Also more people applying for the same jobs, competition from 3rd worlders, employers trying to find their purple squirrel, fake interviews to meet H1B criteria and general jewry.

Are you retarded? He said you should start out with small changes and if you're too retarded for digital janitor dutiy, you might as well not even bother.

Well what about the "tech workers shortage"?? Is that a myth?

>Well what about the "tech workers shortage"?? Is that a myth?

Yes.

Are you retarded? I asked the poster for examples, not at spergout from you.

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It's "qualified tech workers shortage" not retards spending $45k to go to some no-name university that's DeVry tier garbage.

>It's "qualified tech workers shortage"

Nah, it's "qualified tech workers available at Pajeet's rates shortage".

This is also true. I looked up some companies I was going to apply for and the first thing that came up was H1B visa fraud cases. That's why they have a huge list fo qualifacitons that pay peanuts so they can say they couldn't find someone in the USA for that position

Anything in the CNCF landscape (landscape.cncf.io/) can be used.

Go with Kubernetes as the hype is great now github.com/kubernetes/kubernetes/

fuck you Elon, get off Jow Forums and get back to work

pic related - this is the "we are hiring" board in the start of a conference

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not him but...
quality went to shit, everyone that could went elsewhere from old team, shit manager never bothered with knowledgetransfer...
i remained alone, traded it for full remote, they had to bend and let themselves be gently fucked in the anus...
year later, i regret the decission and plan on moving back from lovely home so i could run away from this shithole

>be europoor
>college dropout because too lazy and undisciplined to finish final paper
>shotgun approach the job ads in my small hometown
>5 interviews in 2 weeks
>all turn into offers
>can't decide which to take
>under time pressure to answer
fuck my life

Zoomers win AGAIN

And at the middle of the conference. A the end it was almost unreadable.
Only a true uber Jow Forums autistic poster can't get hired.

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But everything will still cost money retard

what certs and experience do i need to become a sysadmin?

Literally everything. Look up a full stack developer, that's the entry-level these days if you're not someone's kid.

cringe

>do great in classes
>bombed in my required internship
Now I'm too afraid to try again.

autistic cringe

I'd rather sell drugs than work with those people

i have criminal record for drugs. how fucked am i?

thanks

Not the poster, but I suggest Ubuntu Touch is a good place to start (ubports.com/)

I contributed a design that went nowhere and 2 bugs.

Do it faggot

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Pro tips: don't use indeed or monster. They suck dick and won't get you anywhere. Apply on the company site or (best option) call or email a hiring manager/department manger/owner. Apply for a job you are qualified for, but ignore the written qualifications (e.g. don't apply for CEO, but ignore the ridiculous OP image shit). Write your resume as a sales pitch. Write a cover letter for any/every company you apply for. Sell yourself. Demonstrate a business need that you fill, or a skill that benefits THEM. Don't get discouraged, just keep grinding.

t. just employed at a solid entry level position.

holy shit lol, why do they even bother?

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I agree that it's cringe, but in most of those postings you are talking directly with some manager who is at the conference and you skip the pointless meeting with a braindead HR.

There's a ton of talent out there, and every company is putting in absolutely ZERO effort to get it.

Companies like google have actually put more effort to get unqualified minorities and women into IT than they have expanding training and looking for qualified workers.

It's mind boggling. These companies want people to do work but don't actually want to put in the effort to get them.

Do you call them? Walk in person and shake their hand?
Ellaborate Jow Forumsman

yeah I have a job as a lead developer. I manage CS cucks and give them work that I don't want to do. When they ask me for help I will go over to their computer and close all their tabs and open a new window to show them something they probably hate me for it lol. I didn't even study CS in uni I am math patrician

Are CS Cucks as dumb as Jow Forums says?
Are the bois going to soi-out when you do that (close their tabs)?

Damn right it's a myth.

No I've been trying to brute force through clinical depression since I was a teenager to no real results. I'm in school again now and hope 2020's the year (I wouldn't graduate then, but I can at least hope I've practiced enough to get hired off of a portfolio).

I'm currently learning Javascript and C++ because I have no fucking idea if I want to make apps and webdev like a trendy manchild or focus building a career on technical mastery for the important stuff going on in the background like a partially insane recluse.

Or just network/be social and get a job from a college friend who's dad is a VP at the company.