Apple just added sexual activity to its health tracking app

Why would you ever dive in like that. It could be a troll a wrong message or something else. Why would you reveal your power level to her on such a risky basis.

>he thinks it's real

>not meeting the sex quota mandated by the Apple® Corporation makes you a bad goy
>here, let us lower your iSocialScore™ you fucking incel
>your insurance price will double unless you spend more on iHookers™
anons, the future is so bright I have to wear shades

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>pic

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I'm too busy cuddling my girlfriend to even think about sex.

>girlfriend
Faggot, get a boyfriend

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>sexual activity tracker
>open grindr
Apple is gay and the end of the word is near confirmed.

Does it count the shots?

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>Open Grindr

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This is fake, right?

>pic related
oof.jpg

what a strange future

> we don't serve below 500,000 down votes. No exceptions

Wtf

that's a fairly polite way to say "go eat a dick"

>tfw have to start sucking off guys on grindr to pad my sexual activity high enough to get matches back

;)

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But I'm happy with my girlfriend...

>grindr
>apple trying to "help" people poz and get pozzed

DUDE SOCIETY LMAO
HAVE U SEEN BLACK MIRROR, MIND BLOWN

Rude online behaviour detected.
You're social credit score has been deducted 5 pts.

>wearing any clothing at all while fucking
I can't maintain a boner when I'm not completely naked

kek, there could also be an option to include with whom you were boning. If a lot of unprotected sex was wiith casual encounters the app could inform public health officials of your risky behavior

Oh god now these things can detect my non-incel virginity? Maybe I'm just not interested or haven't met anyone yet to want to go that far. I'm not angry about being a virgin either. That aint your business stupid fitness watches.

That picture on its own looks fake, but it is legitimate to include sexual activity if you're tracking your fitness or trying to gain weight. You are burning higher than normal levels of calories, therefore it should be recorded if that's what you're doing.

Quit making something out of nothing

lmao
dear apple watch diary, i've been fucked in the ass today.

>open grindr
kek

oh no no no

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahajahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>grindr
THE JOKES WRITE THEMSELVES

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iphones are literally AIDS machines.

>open grindr

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Why won't my watch update download, OP?

I'm too beta to leave my girlfriend...

>THE JOKES WRITE THEMSELVES
That image was made as a joke. If someone wrote a joke, it wasn’t written by itself.
Dumb Sataniaposter

Are you not aware that such a system is actually currently in real life implemented in china? People with too low scores can't take the train or planes, they have to take buses, their current car, or walk. They also don't get served in most businesses. "Too low" means "anything lower than baseline" and you can get points docked for any reason at all, from being too loud to dropping your coffee by accident to someone wanting to mess with you.

I want Nick Wilde to knot me and fill me with his seed while I beg for more.

To surfing Jow Forums when someone posts that pro democracy pasta

You could spend hundreds of dollars on a pretty hooker instead of wasting then on a stupid smartwatch.

hnng

kek

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>pretty
>hooker

pick one

also,

>humans
>civilization

pick one

also,

>pick one
>pick

pick one

EMBRACE THE ONLY CURE FOR AIDS ITODDLERS

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i want satania to shoot me in the face and then i die

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>No location for a consent signature

>would you like to import your contacts and update the calendar?

Close your rings by opening your ring

No, I fapped this morning.

Yeah it obviously hasn't been there since the health app came out

I wouldn't be surprised if it suggested to install Grindr if it noticed low sexual activity.

>subjected to an excruciating "best ass contest"
What the fuck, is this a thing? You can't enter a gay bar without an ass inspection?

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ho shit.