>On the dole
>29
>Only ever been working at supermarkets
>2.2 STEM degree from 8 years ago
>Just over £2k in the bank
How the fuck do I get into any entry-level that doesn't require years of experience? Fucking IT helpdesk requires experience and knowledge of other things. I'm fucking dying here. Do I need to spend money on a course or go back to uni (except this time without government funding)?
Freelance and use that as "work experience"
>helpdesk requires experience and knowledge of other things.
do you not have knowledge? Do you actually know anything? Usually places will take the chance that you will wash out if you're just help desk, apply and see what happens. Otherwise make up bullshit for experience, that's what I did starting out way back to fill a resume which led to more legitimate gigs I could put down. Say someone you know well enough to white lie owns or operates a business. Put some shit down like 'on-call technician' helped with hardware/software issues, set up wireless networks, etc.
you need a time machine and friends lmao
IT help desk is cancer and is the bottom rung of the IT world.
lol , that was my last job before i got burned out with a depression , after that cancerous job iv'e been on Neetbux now for more than 10years.
>Freelance and use that as "work experience"
Like how?
>Do you actually know anything?
I don't know.
>Otherwise make up bullshit for experience, that's what I did starting out way back to fill a resume which led to more legitimate gigs I could put down.
What sort of bullshit did you write up?
Or maybe some razor blades.
Sure but I need to start somewhere, nobody seems to be able to give a straight answer as to what certs and what experience and what needs to be in your portfolios or anything required to even start.
im 20 and work in supermarket too OP.
though i didnt go to uni and live with parents. trying to figure shit out. it's all very depressing. i don't want to spend 2hrs/5k a year commuting to London either.
just walk in there and talk about your experience with linux and ricing out your i3 config file
the dumb cunt bachelor of arts psychology major interviewing won't know what you're saying other than the fact that it sounds techy
Find an IT consulting firm like FDM Group. They have such a huge demand for entry-level jobs that they're need to bring in tons of foreigners to fill it
>nobody seems to be able to give a straight answer as to what certs and what experience and what needs to be in your portfolios or anything required to even start
because in tech there aren't strict industry-wide requirements. some companies care about this shit and others don't. you can read the job listing to see if they have strict requirements.
have you thought about creating a personal site/resume? that will show you are somewhat tech-savvy and care a little more than your competition. also you can add any programming/webdev projects if you have some.
my second piece of advice would be to list your resume publicly/searchable on job listing sites. this won't be indexed on google or anything, but your resume will pop up for employees... if you include the right words/phrases. don't straight up lie but include anything you have experience in. you might be surprised how many people reach out to you. recruiters get paid for each hire, so they are willing to give anyone who is a decent fit a try.
good luck
pic unrelated
>pop up for employees
**employers
get a tan and change your name to ahmed mohammad al'mullah and you'll get a job at incredible hihg speed
Look into volunteering somewhere to gain experience. I did volunteer IT work at a hospital after graduating and it lead to a full-time job. The worst thing you can do is not do anything.
>I did volunteer IT work at a hospital after graduating and it lead to a full-time job.
Mind describing your path with more detail?
>because in tech there aren't strict industry-wide requirements. some companies care about this shit and others don't. you can read the job listing to see if they have strict requirements.
There has to be a base or a starting point right? I did maths at uni (what little I remember of it) everything rested on a base modules.
>There has to be a base or a starting point right?
if you can't discern it by looking at job listings and no one can tell you, how does it exist?
What supermarket do you work at and is day or night shift?
It's the green one and it was a night shift.
Why, I'm currently on the dole now anyway?
Good luck even getting entry level jobs, they are given out by outsourced female HR recruiters who treat the hiring process like tinder.
> Graduated College; couldn't find a job
> Volunteered at hospital doing end user support
> Used IT guys at hospital as references when applying for jobs and now have experience to add to resume.
> Got an end user support job at a manufacturing company
Now I'm a sys admin at a hospital.
>I don't know.
Do you have any experience whatsoever, personal or professional? With what?
>What sort of bullshit did you write up?
Like I said. I would fix a friend's family's computer by freeing up space, malware removal, bitch shit but that's all I knew at the time. Eventually did that for enough people that I would get referrals for when people they knew had similar issues, so then my resume had year-year on call technician/consultant. I worked for some tiny (3 employee) graphic design company doing web design but had to fix tech shit on a regular basis, so that became another entry for the resume. As others have said you can seek out temp agencies who will place you in small time projects typically doing hardware replacements or windows/mac troubleshooting. While you're doing all this you should steal some pluralsight/cbt nuggets stuff that interests you, then apply for those gigs. I started out doing this hustle and now (ten years later?) I'm an infrastructure architect working with datacenter compute/storage/networking
I do not miss working for a hospital. what EMR? What do your radiologists use?
>Do you have any experience whatsoever, personal or professional? With what?
I know how to do bitch shit I guess, upgrading, malware removal, saving data from hdds of dead computers, etc.
And I did self-teach java for a month but didn't feel like that was going anywhere.
>I'm an infrastructure architect working with datacenter compute/storage/networking
.....how much?
>Volunteered at hospital doing end user support
You just volunteered?
you sound kinda dumb and hopeless, lol
>.....how much?
how much what? Take the advice itt if you want, otherwise I don't know what else to tell you m8
Look up volunteering IT jobs, people always need desk monkeys.
t. infrastructure tech
Well years of grunt work at supermarkets has rotted my brain.
Money.
>Money.
A lot.
I got my help desk job through a temp agency and then they hired me full time. All I needed was an Associate's degree (I have one in CS) and some technical knowledge, plus be willing to Google the shit out of stuff and be willing to learn from coworkers. If your tech knowledge is rusty or you think some certs might help, you could always do some online courses and get an A+ or something.
>do uni meme
>hate it
>leave and work in a bar for a year
>apply to rising local company
>four months late I'm taking flies around the country staying hotels (all expensive paid) rolling out VDIs to customer sites
>project ends, get offered infrastructure position
Taking it easy, lmao no certs beyond a shitty MS one
Pick the area you want to apply for, cross-reference the technologies, the skills qnd experience they require and dedicate some time to learn them. There is an abundance of free courses, tutorials howtos, etc. Also there are a lot of books on all kinds of it topics. Any book by o'reilly is good.
I'm self made devops engineer with only humanitary high school education.
You can do it, its only matter of dedication and commitment.
Also for the job interviews you can compensate the lack of professional experience with enthusiasm and willingness to learn and develop.
Good luck!
>apply to rising local company
No pre-requisites? Did you uni degree come into play?
I'm sure they took it into consideration, but they needed a body who could:
1. Work for peanuts.
2. Be flexible, happy enough to give up your weekends and work for silly long hours so that the project can stay on time
2. Being very self-reliant as the only support you'll get is phone calls to resolve issues
It was hard and stressful at the beginning, but both myself and the company were well rewarded for it.
For them, a big contract delivered on the cheap and ease.
For me, experience and a permanent job.
What did the job listing say or did you just search it out yourself?
>
>
>Sure but I need to start somewhere, nobody seems to be able to give a straight answer as to what certs and what experience and what needs to be in your portfolios or anything required
Your life isn't a paint by numbers book for the rest of us to fill out for you. Get some agency and decide yourself ffs. The answer to what's required is "everything".
It's not reasonable for you to learn it all so pick something.
They just had "Apply With Us" section and so I did.
But honestly, I'd regard myself as an exception. You should indees volunteer at places whilst working a normal job.
With a STEM degree you should at least be able to figure some of this out.
This. If you want to get into the capitalistic workforce you're gonna have to lie and be deceitful to get ahead. It is the way of capitalism
Helpdesk is shit.
I'm gonna go neet and freelance soon.
t. helpdesk
>Money.
Lol, your main concern should be to get a relevant job, money comes after at this point in your career stage.
2 years of a relevant job should get you to a higher tier if you don't suck, then the money will gradually come....
I was depressed and half-arsed it, I got a 2.2 from 8 years ago. I don't remember shit, I look at my cryptography module work and don't even remember how to decrypt my own coded message.
I was just asking.
just work at an electronic store and see if their repair department is hiring. shit like best buys geeksquad or frys electronics repair stuff.
they literally hire just about anyone that know how to customer service customers.
Did a helpful post just get deleted?
>2.2 Stem degree
was 2.2 your gpa? How did you even graduate?
>- Your job is currently Consultant / Software engineer (in field) for your own freelance company
>- Create webpage for freelance company
>- 4 years and currently working there.
>- create some projects you did
>- Get as many links with other people: family, friends, college, high school what ever, only the number counts, get it above a 100
>
>Create CV with Linkin page as foundation. You need to lie a little
>You need to lie a little
isn't this a whole lot of lying?
Lie, Dipshit. If your """experience""" isnt too farfetched they likely won't even try to verify it.
positions of function tester, manual tester and so on usually don't have much requirements and because nowdays everything is agile and shit you can switch roles later on
or just "junior (...)"
>How the fuck do I get into any entry-level that doesn't require years of experience?
Most like you're defining experience as professional experience. If you've been coding with Java as a hobbyist for the last 10 years. Guess what, you have 10 years of experience in Java. When applying for a Java job, talk about your experience in Java. Tell them when you started, what you've done, what you like about Java and so on.
>nobody seems to be able to give a straight answer
That's because the "requirements" is actually a wish list. If they are looking for a person with 20 years of Java experience and only people with 5 years of experience apply, guess what, they'll hire a person with 5 years of experience. If that person can't do the job, they'll fire that person and that person now has a professional experience merit they can put on their CV. Its really that easy.
Lower 2nd Class. GPA equivalent is somewhere between 2.7-3.0
think again, sweetie
/soc/ is that way
i was btfoing a cuck
lmao what a fucking homo. why do you have the body shape of a woman?
>wide hips
>fat ass
>misshapen thighs
>what are squats and diddlies?
dyel? post body
>fat ass
that's a muscular ass, and women unironically love a man with hip drahve
Damn dude, respect for that form.
This is for a *junior* qa analyst
>Skills & Requirements
>Proven experience in QA, specifically hands-on testing -
>Awareness and understanding of automation
>Knowledge of different types and phases of testing
>Reviewing and analysing customer requirement and system specifications
>Preparing test plans, specifications, conditions, scripts, and summary reports
>Executing test scripts and reviewing results
>Reporting and documenting issues/defects/bugs
>Excellent communication skills
>Attention to detail
>Contributing to the ongoing improvement of quality assurance standards and procedures
I don't even pass the first one. The rest I can wing it.
>Fucking IT helpdesk requires experience and knowledge of other things.
You already have it in your degree you moron, are you not applying for the jobs or what? You're spinning your wheels for no reason.
use your degree to get an junior/associate position in a company
there are literally tons of companies that will hire and train you
when will manlets learn
>fat ass
4u
5'10'' king of manlets reporting in
based
>/nobulge/
should stuff a sock down there or something m8
LONDON
O
N
D
O
N
I WAS IN THE POOL
nice ass
have you considered crossdressing?
i'm wearing the gf's leggings so technically yes, i have
post some photos with stockings plox
Get a PGCE and teach college or highschool m8, they're desperate for STEMies
>FDM
Yikes.
Don't make fun of him, he's another incel that fell for the SS meme.
What's wrong with FDM?
>fell for the SS meme.
Not the user posting himself, but I "fell for the SS meme" and it resolved so much of my back problems and made me notably more healthy.
I'd strongly recommend falling for the "meme"... because it's not one.
Stop working your ass and start improving pecs. Calves maybe. Srs
i'm actually doing a PHUL variant my frienderino
3x5 squat @ 320
3x5 conventional diddly @ 405
3x5 flat bench @ 240
3x5 incline bench @ 200
3x5 OHP @ 140
3x5 pendlay rows @ 215
3x5 weighted pull-ups @ +60 lb
post body + stats
He has an actual healthy and balanced body user, you've got a warped perception of what good heath looks like due to movies/tv, huge pecs and biceps are not a good thing.
Lord above stop talking about men's asses. There's other boards for that.
Well I've not had any firsthand experience with them, but I was aggressively called by one of their recruiters and almost joined them before I did some research on the company.
The things that really made me not want to join were:
>they charge you £20k for their 6 week "training" course if you leave the company within the first year (or two?) which consists of mostly basic shit you could teach yourself in a few days if you're not retarded
>while the salary isn't too bad, there's actually no guarantee that you'll be given placements, especially at first. This can mean that you're out of work and not earning but still contractually employed, and then if you wanted to leave for a job with more stability you're slapped with the £20k charge.
>Stop working your ass
never.
>a PHUL variant
forgot to post program
Upper power
rest
Lower power
Upper hypertrophy
rest
Lower hypertrophy
rest
welcome to Jow Forums, where if you don't like where a thread is going you can get the fuck out
Yeah.
this but especially to this gay ass nigga
hey, I'm not gay. Butts are technology
£20K and no guarantee? Bollocks.
>welcome to Jow Forums
You know there was a point in Jow Forums when it wasn't so gay.
you forgot to do the get the fuck out part
just wanna check these quints
>> 69477777
How do I get an entry software dev job
I don't have anything except a degree
How about you get on topic?
downvote me, faggot
Nice quints.
Shame you fucked up the quote :^(
Yeah, I should add that you don't pay anything for the training initially, it's just done on the basis that for a year or two afterward you're on hand for them whether you like it or not.
Yo, all the information you need is in this thread already. If you don't do anything with it that's up to you just let it get derailed now thread's answered
>every shit thread i post to an anonymous cartoon porn imageboard must stay on topic (the topic is helping ME) until it archives or hits bump limit
how about killing yourself?
I'm gonna find you and fuck you. London isn't that big.
>Sure but I need to start somewhere, nobody seems to be able to give a straight answer as to what certs and what experience and what needs to be in your portfolios or anything required to even start.
Real talk from a sysadmin who makes $130k/yr salary: just jump into helpdesk if you don't know what you want to do yet. You'll figure it out within a year, hopefully, and if you're with a decent company, you can work your way up. Once you start negotiating for a new position, try to get salaried (jr. sysadmin isn't unreasonable after a year at the desk). It won't be amazing pay, but you'll be moving up, and have something to put on the resume/CV.
If you don't want to go into networking, talk with other employees about their interests. Find friends you can relate with on the job, and move forward with those friends from there. Maybe you want to get into programming, maybe you want to get into netsec, who knows, but you'll have friends to compete with and measure yourself against.
Tech is a weird field. People think getting a CS degree means they'll be a programmer with an easy life, buy a house and a wife, and be happy. It's not that simple,, and it doesn't work that way. For starters, a CS degree is probably one of the most BS degrees you can get, but that's another topic.
Life is a series of challenges, you need to figure out which challenges are worth overcoming, and which are worth avoiding. As you move up, you'll find your field in the challenges you enjoy overcoming. After that, you may save up for a place, but you won't just suddenly feel happy, or feel like an adult. It's brief moments of happiness in those successful moments when you overcome a particularly difficult task.
I'm not some high-level tech guru, sysadmin is generally not well received by the public, but I'm happy, I'm good at it, and I earn a decent living. Your problem sounds more like you're struggling with life in general rather than struggling to find a career.
damn are you gay please say yes
I'm in the a similar boat, only:
>not on the dole
>physics grad 2.2
>worked in Hotels only
>5K in stock
>6 years of amateur C, C++ programming (wrote one decent ~80000 lines of code tool) and some game modding
I quit my hotel job to try for entry level programming jobs. 9 months in and not a single interview. I even tried some basic computer building/deployment jobs and nothing. I'm going crazy living at home with my parents.
>I quit my hotel job to try for entry level programming jobs.
This is one of the mistakes you made. NEVER NEVER NEVER leave your current job before you have your next job secured. Employers like to see that you can maintain a job even if it's a totally unrelated field, you'll now have to explain why you up and quit and in a non-direct way explain why you're not going to do that to them.
Get work user, anything. And keep applying for IT work. Also, don't just apply for development, also aim for helpdesk and other support jobs, they are foot in the door work.
nice ass, faggot
>Your problem sounds more like you're struggling with life in general rather than struggling to find a career.
Possibly.
>just jump into helpdesk if you don't know what you want to do yet.
Yeah, I'll probably bursh up my cv and just apply to any of regardless of experience required. I'm not hopeful.
>physics grad 2.2
What were you planning to do after this degree? I picked maths cause I still wasn't sure what I wanted to do at that point and maths is pretty broad.
>NEVER NEVER NEVER leave your current job
I had to leave mine if I didn't want to injure myself because supervisors are retards when it came to safety and common sense.