Bidets are technology.
What's great about a bidet is that i can produce anywhere between the most explosive, the stickiest, or the biggest brown snake no matter the day or time and be confident that in as little as 30 seconds and zero effort my asshole is squeaky clean.
Other urls found in this thread:
Literally the french invented bidets when a lady was trying to figure out a better way to clean her vagina in the 1600s.
I don't understand why americans don't have the nice toilets with the bidet and the foot pedals that come out.
In our loos we have them, and the seat has a warmer too.
it's like a little tiny man pissing at your anus
>being so gay you have to spray shit into your ass
Oh boy, a bidet thread. This will definitely go well...
Posting mine, per usual. Would highly recommend it (it's a BioBidet Slim One, elongated). I have a terrible diet, drink way more than I should, eat cheese every day despite being lactose intolerant, and fuck my ass fairly regularly. The bidet has handled everything that's been thrown at it with ease.
It's also good for fags like me that enjoy the feeling of your anus being messed with in general. :3
>So obsessed with the idea of other men doing things with their bums they think a stream of water can be likened to homosexual acts
Do you think of bukakke when you shower as well?
Weirdos.
Bidets actually don't do a very good job of cleaning your asshole on their own and need to be used in conjunction with toilet paper.
I just have a bidet sprayer, no fancy electronics or anything. Mainly because of how retarded australian laws are the plug placement would have been completely fucked for it. The sprayer had to have a second tap installed as well. that said im very happy with it and i cant believe theyre not more widespread
idk, i just use toilet paper to dry my ass now, i almost never see anything but water on in
>he showers in cum
im not the weird one
i can only imagine how unhygienic 17c french water must have been
>euros
>third worlders already seething at the mere thought of hygiene
Nope, Canuck.
Just get the handheld bidets
lol at disgusting burgers who use paper alone
handheld ones do it great, zero problems
>lactose intolerant
Kill yourself subhuman
Enjoy your acne.
How the fuck do you dry your ass after using one of these? A towel? Do you really dry your ass with a random ass-towel without even washing with soap first?
toilet paper
i'd rather bidet to guaranteed cleanliness and use only a couple of squares of paper to dry than go through 10+ trying to smear dry shit residue around until the paper can't pick any more up
I just installed this myself. Easy peasy lemon squeezy, does the work fairly good, 30€ everything all set and done.
You need a better diet and maybe you need to trim your ass hair so it isn't a forest. I usually use one square to confirm clean, and maybe a follow-up square if I get any amount of shit on the first one. Your asshole shouldn't be caked with shit after taking a dump.
>using toilet paper for drying
Do you just leave the shit there otherwise you tree to ass rubbing retard?
But you won't have the good old 'Murrican stink on you throughout the day.
>How the fuck do you dry your ass
That's what cucks are for.
kek sauce
In Finland these are almost in every WC. They are called as a "pussy phone"
>not just using baby wipes
>Cloggin pipes, wasting money and polluting
It literally is though. Gays buy them to clean their ass after enemas. No one else uses them in America, just neets and gays.
>fuck my ass fairly regularly
Case in point
Nice. We used to have bidets up until the 90s. People used them to just leave the newspaper or magazine and constructors being cheap assess just stopped putting them. After 15 years with only toilet paper or the retards who said "just shower afterwards bruh" people started using wipes and in my city we had a 50m ball of shit and wipes in the main sewer pipe
>buying an expensive and clumsy bidet that splashes literal shit water all over your ass and under the seat
>not just moistening toilet paper with the faucet that's right next to you and wiping with that
Fucking disgusting how some people just use water and nothing else to "clean" their ass. No wonder they always complain about skidmarks on their underwear.
At least use one of these at the end if you're too lazy to wet them yourself, you filthy fucks.
ITT FAGGOTS
>Fucking disgusting how some people just use water and nothing else to "clean" their ass.
nobody uses just water, people use water and toilet paper, or toilet paper then water and then again toilet paper.
What you're doing is what i do in public bathrooms. Wipes are disgusting and should be forbidden.
>taking a shower
No, I'm not gay. Thanks.
So... You take semen baths then?
I wanted a bidet but I didn't want my neighbors to think I was a faggot so I just keep a pressure washer in the closet in my bathroom. Keeps me pretty clean, but the noise it makes is a bit bothersome.
>nobody uses just water
Then what's the point of bidets when you can just wetten the paper yourself? Spraying your ass with water is bound to make a mess.
I also never use wipes. I only suggested them since some people just can't be bothered to reach over and turn on the tap.
Is that a web camera hidden there? Uploading your hard day's work to YouTube, dump by dump?
kek
>Do you think of bukakke when you shower
sure do, I close my eyes and set it on power saver so the flow is more natural like cum flowing over my face.
Not that guy, but how the fuck do you wetten toilet paper?
It starts falling apart at the smallest drop of water.
It would take ages to properly get cleaned with dry paper.
This is how I think of it.
If you grabbed a turd with your hand, would you be content with just using a wet wipe and going along with your day?
Of course not. You would wash your hand with soap and water because the opposite would be disgusting.
How a person can go on with their day knowing their asshole is covered in shit is bewildering.
pull your pants up
>he doesn't fuck his g-spot for the ultimate pleasure, his God-given right as a straight man
I think you're the gay one here, user.
That's fucking disgusting and could earn you a rash.
>paper on the inside
get the fuck out you heathen scum
>he doesn't know about the fulcrum
Fucking plebs, I swear.
>tfw poor
>tfw cannot afford bidet
>tfw just using jet stream from shower instead to clean my ass
no. I have never had a problem with it. It's basically just a slightly wet ass that eventually dries up and you won't notice it anymore 5 min after using it
>bidet that splashes literal shit water all over your ass
It doesn't suck water out of the bowl, dufus. The water is the same that comes out if your kitchen tap.
You can get one for less than $20, hobo-kun. Granted it won't have a heated seat, electric nozzle adjustment, or anything fancy, but still. Cheap ones that just go by water pressure (think of it like opening your tap) are out there and plentiful.
I rather prefer those shower hoses next to the toilets. I don't know how much they cost
I think you can get one that either attaches to your sink or splits from that same water supply for pretty cheap, though they're a "medium" in terms of installation difficulty.
horrible tech.. why does it still keep water in there
>Not that guy, but how the fuck do you wetten toilet paper?
Get strong paper, fold it three times, then just quickly run it under the faucet. Makes it very damp but still strong enough to keep its shape. A dry layer behind it also helps. Uses more paper but it gets the job done.
Doesn't work with 1-ply paper though. It disintegrates when wet like you said.
>How a person can go on with their day knowing their asshole is covered in shit is bewildering.
Agreed. I even dig into my asshole with said damp paper and spin my finger to get every last bit. Too bad I can't use soap in there or else it would probably sting like a bitch.
they are basically the best inventions for the bathroom. Makes cleaning your toilet much easier too
I know about fulgrim?
That's not a bidet, that's a tiny water thing inside a toilet, the amount and pressure of water that thing splashes is nowhere near the water jet required to properly wash the ass.
Pic related, what a real bidet looks like.
Toilets are bloat, just shit in the streets
>blasts water straight at dirty asshole, displacing shit all around it
>ass and seat are now soaked in water with shit mixed in it
>not literal shit water
>Nah bro, your ass is only soaking wet until your underwear absorbs it all!
Sounds like torture.
Calm down, Rahjimbahl.
D E S I G N A T E D
So you should use the Under the Roll style if you have cats, small children, or happen to be a lazy hipster. Got it.
Seitokai Yakuindomo
So, if youre retarded like a childish cat, then you should use this?, ok.
You must be a normal human being to post here.
>retarded like a childish cat
Laffin.
>Seitokai Yakuindomo
does it have any cute loli's?
>he doesn't just shove a tube straight up his asshole to have perfectly clean shits so he doesn't have to wipe or any of that faggot shit.
They know, user, but this thread is solely made to shitpost.
Yes, it's not literal shit water.
How the fuck do you even use this and for what?
t. not pajeet
I have no idea either, in my country bidets are like this. They stream of water is facing your ass properly.
youtube.com
Ausfag here, only ever seen 'em in wog friends' houses, so I'm guessing you're wog?
based desu
>shit on toilet
>get off toilet
>sit on biddet
>open tap to max presure
>point water to ass
>wash ass while water jet hits the anus
>turn off biddit
>wipe water off with toilet paper
???
profit
Japan has been trying to get Americans to buy bidets since the 1980s.
Big problem is lobbyists.
Japan needs to bribe enough people to change American building codes to allow for outlets near toilets just like in Japan.
You can ask an electrician to create the outlet for you but it takes legislation to make it standard across all housing.
>the Japanese have been trying to convince Americans to properly wash their dirty anuses for more than 30 years
Home of the poo, land of the pee
I squirt moisturizing hand sanitizer onto the toilet paper and wipe until nothing comes off anymore.
Unless you got a perfectly concave ass and the bidet can rotate and do a 360 high pressure wash around your asshole that's never gonna do a perfect job. And what happens when a big dollop of shit land on the bidet? I ain't cleaning that.
Soap does not sting m8, it's no different from when you wash your ass while in the shower (assuming you do)
this, but I use soap/body wash and I dry off with my bidet towel
>Putting alcohol on your anus
do you shove a soap bar up your ass what do you mean
no. im white.
The American way.
Literally ottoman had it for ages
>Cloggin pipes
>polluting
are you legitimately retarded?
Never mind your post, but putting the toilet paper roll on "under" is just sick.
It's just comfier this way.
What are you a paki?
Get shitty water dripping down your legs when you stand up.
You guys know about the light bulb conspiracy, right?
Toilet paper companies suppress adoption of bidets in the Anglosphere because a bidet would drastically cut down TP consumption.
>less chance of unraveling in an RV or an earthquake
bullshit
Oh Christ!
Lord help me if my loo roll unravels in an earthquake!
Just use your hand, ffs.
As a hairy asshole man I appreciated the bidet function of Japanese toilets since I arrived five years ago. It's just so much cleaner after taking a shit. Thanks Japan.
A bit cumbersome considering that once you do that wet toilet paper thing your ass is filled with paper residue mixed with shit.
Its a nice workaround to get your ass as clean as possible in a public restroom, but that's it.
Meanwhile with a bidet, a Japanese wc or a WC shower you just wipe a little bit with paper, then shoot the water and then dry with paper. Literally done in 20-30 seconds, and you can get to the rest of your day with the ass clean and no shit stains in your underwear.
If your have shit stains on your underwear without using bidet you might be retarded.
>shit stains on your underwear without using bidet you might be retarded
i never do because i always find a way to clean my ass. But with just toilet paper, once you get your ass sweaty, it's bound to happen.