Go to work

>go to work
>see this
What do?

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edition.cnn.com/2019/01/24/media/huffpost-layoffs/index.html
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duh, become transgender

pull up a chair to the table and sit down

>unzip
get to work

wheel in a whiteboard and test if they can invert a binary tree

>plastic folding tables
>in a professional meeting environment
quit.

Jump on top of the table, unzip my dick and spin around

Plastic tables because everyone got a company macbook. :^)

Turn 360, walk away to another job

I would introduce myself to them, try to find common connections, and give all of them a fair shake at doing their job professionally and competently. I would hope that in turn they offer me the same.

Once I knew them better, I would try my best to work with the best among them. Sometimes you're forced to work with someone who isn't good enough at their job, and talks too much, or complains too much, or tries to shirk their duty. I find that this exact scenario happens with both men and women, because I'm not an autistic incel with confirmation bias towards my hatred of the women who reject me.

Sorry, I must've entered the wrong room.

>forced to work with someone who isn't good enough at their job, and talks too much, or complains too much
Sadly that's all of them.

Is this meeting needed? Or can I get back to work?

Is it just me, or do women love to have heaps of meetings that end up as massive waste of time.

>Is it just me, or do [insert any large, bureaucratic organization] love to have heaps of meetings that end up as massive waste of time.

Here, I fixed it so you were still correct, but without the misogyny created by no women wanting to fuck a loser with a shitty personality

>unzips dick

This post made by tranny gang

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Sorry, just your average married dude, married to a beautiful asian doctor, with one kid and a dog, and a lot of women banged in college, all made possible by going through life not being a shithead blaming others for my own insecurities.

quit and leave the kitchen

Cant bring up someones insecurities considering you married an asian girl

Sure thing basedboy

>married to a beautiful asian doctor
lel

Brrraaappppp

>married to a beautiful asian
nice

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>beautiful asian doctor

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Turn 360 degrees and walk away

Prepare with plenty of entertaining anecdotes and jokes for the daily fika - all attention is going to be on me

and now, we wait

>go to work
lol

>and a lot of women banged in college
The fact you felt the need to add that highlights just how insecure you really are.
Either this is entirely a fabrication, or you're painfully discontent with your life as it stands, quite possibly both.
You have my pity.

I'm telling you dog, shit was so cash. Dont hate the player, hate the game.

Kill myself for working for Huffington Post
>No seriously, that pic is the HuffPo editors room.

Leave before one of them falsely accuses me of something.

Say hi to the group and start doing my job.

Wake up from my nightmare.

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Nailed it. A happily married man would have no reason to mention it. Also
>asian wife
LOL projecting much?

Pick one of them to be my Claire Underwood. Then proceed do some of my "dark arts magic" on them one by one while maintaining the illusion that this office is The Office. This would need me to do a Game of Thrones-esque "fuck them one by one for various ends" type of relationships. Don't be mad, it ain't personal. They do this on The Empire and it certainly works. Once me and my Claire rose the ranks, it will be time to dissolve this "Republic" like how Senator Palpatine did.

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Are these programming gowns?

Ask to speak to the man in charge

>sitting at the head of the conference table
>anyone on video conference sees my face but only a side profile of the women
>all women in attendance at the meeting turned to me, for my expert opinion
I don't see the problem?

>not pulling up a table and sitting at the chair
Poor form, user. Poor form.

>Ladies we took a beating last quarter, you need to step up your productivity and get some results or we'll need to let some of you go
I dont think I used enough buzzwords

Fire them all

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edition.cnn.com/2019/01/24/media/huffpost-layoffs/index.html
Let's hope they know how to code.

Imagine being this assblasted

i lay off

women are much hard working than men and easier to work with. especially stem girls

Wonder why everyone replaced the computer that the company made with their direct competitor

put sticker on camera

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>"So I have all your applications to be my girlfriend here. I've had a quick skim through them and you'll be glad to hear - you made it to the next stage! All of you."
>*excited murmuring*
>"So we're now going to go round the desk. I want each of you to tell me something a bit more personal about yourself. Something you didn't list in your application. And then we'll proceed to the kissing test."

Start plotting in my head how I will fuck all of them

Fucking idiot if you turn 360 degrees you will be facing the same direction.
:^)

Lurk more faggot

>unbunzips dick

turn 720 radians
moonwalk trough the wall

>What do?
Try not to smile knowing that they all just got laid off in the latest downsizing.

Jeez, wasnt the smiley with the carat obvious enough for you?

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ThinkBull all those bitches

Do a 360 and walk away

T'was the joke

*ahem*

Ladies, I have an announcement to make...

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*audience hushes*

no that's not what you're supposed to say you're supposed to confirm that women suck REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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The only correct answer.

Sit down and try to be seen as a helpful, non-threatening man. I will fare best in that environment by being passive and helpful without being a doormat.
It's actually easier than in a room full of men, where I would be competed against more directly.
That's not to say women don't compete with men, but it happens significantly less often to me, anyway.
I think biologically men and women are extremely similar, but (unfortunately) societal conditioning renders the sexes very different. I'm not a sexist and I don't think men are more capable in STEM than women, but the sex of the person I'm talking to influences the things I am mindful of.

flex and say
BOW YA SHITS

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Weren't they all laid off, though?

-bash: unzip: command not found.

Kek I think you might be wrong desu, my mum is like 45 and has worked in tonnes of different offices with she says every female manager she's had has been a complete cunt so she prefers working with men

this, also those 4 women next to you want to suck your cock (lick your clit) whatever

>falling for bait

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Unironically this.

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Fucking hell. Is this what estrogen overdose does to you? How can you be so beta?

Undick zip

>untars dick

>I will fare best in that environment by being passive and helpful without being a doormat.
>passive without being a doormat
Might as well try to go upstairs while walking downstairs

assblasted

based

dont try to argue with smelly incels on Jow Forums my dude, you succeeded in life, dont waste your time here.

lol, kinda makes me feel bad for women who actually mean good. For all the shit men take at least we never have these kinds of problems.

I don't like to be around that much dangerous WiFi radiation.
I quit immediately

>unrars dick
NOTHING PERSONNEL GIRLS

Hello ladies!

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Do you start every conversation by calling the first person you make eye contact with a faggot and push over their shit?

You can act passive without being submessive, those are still two different things.

emerge unzip
>Calculating dependencies
>Emerging dick

sudo apt-get remove dick

update-alternatives: installing surgery, hrt, vagina-shim as alternatives to dick

"Hey, here's a joke girls - how many women does it take to bring me my coffee? Because right now it looks like 13 too many - get back to fucking work."

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What programming language do i need to use to be able to handle a beautiful woman like this???

ffffff yikes, would not want

Resign before the company goes bankrupt.

Kek, I knew you were baiting, that's why I baited too and you just fell for it.

Start stripping, and collect the dollar bills.

My job