SCRUM Master here, AMA

SCRUM Master here, AMA

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How agile are you really?

Can we hold off on these questions until the 16th minute? Thanks.

How old are you?
What do you make?
What's your background?
Do you prefer it to what you used to do?
Would you recommend it?

It's the god tier IT job.

>no skills required
>respected any hint that you have a clue what is going on
>respected just for asking others "do you have everything you need?"
>not even expected to look busy

So which IIT """""university""""" did you graduate from you dumb animeposting pajeet?

This, fucking professor from one of my college classes for "Intro to IT Management" (it was an elective credit my first yea don't ask) was a SCRUM master. From how he described it and how he taught he made 100K+ for having surface level knowledge of just about anything tech related, then being a project manager.

Why do we have stand-ups every day.

Is scrum master a real job? I'd kill for it. What quals do you need

Do you know how to suck literal cock?

Do you fart in empty wine glasses & delight yourself with your own stink?

why are images getting deleted from this thread?

Are you cute

Is this an actual job? I thought just some random dev in the project would be elected to manage scrum shit like sprints and stand ups.

Frogposting is literally banned.

At my company it helps if you're an obese woman. Are you an obese woman?

cause of that guy posting clownfrogs?

What is SCRUM?

What level?

99% of scrum masters either don't understand scrum or purposely sabotage it.

that's not necessarily the SM's job. if you ever had one you'd appreciate him whenever he's sick or on vacation.

Stupid rules some managers are selling to companies and which you have to follow if you're working as a sweatshop "coder".

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Sukuramu no masta!

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So this is what programming is like.

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buzzword bullshit, like agile was until everyone got sick of it. so some jackass tacked more bullshit onto agile and called it SAFe, and now every middle manager is trying to do whatever that is so that they can appear to be relevant. meanwhile, code and product quality continues to go down the shitter.

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Have you heard how during the heyday of Stalin, the soviets used to advertise shit social projects like it's the second coming of christ itself for the soviet people?

It's that, but made by some guy in the army, the very pretense of working instead of actually working brought to life in your office just to piss you off, because you choose CS as your major because "you wanted to make useful software" and the world laughs in your face for choosing it. Nobody wants useful shit, not your boss, certainly. You secretely suspect he gets off on charts. Then you proceed to inflate your times and post on Jow Forums again, there's no saving yourself from the misery that is your life. You aren't even sure if your constant complaints are part of the system, maybe it is all a huge performance.

thanks for that i needed a laugh

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pedoweeb.
bwhahahhah
Too many weebs infesting from their containment boards.

/a/ is barely weeb. It is basically populated with people like you.

BASED

Everybody low key knows you don't do jack shit and are there to appease management.

>see IT traineeship
>ask what them they teach you
>no programming
>just agile and scrum certificates
ah nice

what is SCRUM and why do all the info sessions at my university mention it?

It's a play that happens at various times during Rubgy.

>SCRUM Master
please die

>does the weeb laugh
>but i'm not a weeb i swear
hah, check out dis weeb

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It runs old dos games

This
It's not a real job. Shared a room with a scrum master for 2 months, all he did was attend meeting were he just had to listen, and draw shit on paperboard.

Top kek

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nice!

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if u work for government

Testing 1.. 2.. 3..
>its just stock user pepe for reference

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m-maybe >w

Is it normal that looking at this makes me want to kill myself?
>SOLUTION TRAIN
help me

>pic
That looks so lean, holy shit.