ITT: technology that Americans can't use or didn't know existed...

epic image saved straight from reddit my friend

Imagine hand drinking from the same basin that you wash your ass, and babies, and you've just imagined being Europe.
No wonder their females have mustaches, and they all universally smell like shit.
t. Frenchman

I first saw that on /mu/ desu

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The fuck is that, a water fountain?

imagine taking a shit and then smearing shit all over your ass with a piece of paper, thinking you just cleaned yourself. that is what being an American is like.

ass cleaning thing from france

What the fuck are you talking about? Only women use it.

t. Frenchie

>bottled water gives you excellent taste in anime and manga

brb incorporating straught microplastics directly into my diet

>IQ devastation

You know, devastation is a pretty great word. I think I'll use it more. Thanks, user.

I'm an american with a bidet and I find the concept of bottled water appalling. Unless you live in flint just drink from the tap, use a brita if you're concerned about taste, and quit fucking destroying the earth by shipping water around unnecessarily and bottling it in plastic. You're doing it wrong.

imagine taking a shit and then hiking your ass up to the sink like a fucking zoo animal to have a jet of water splash your little hair-encrusted dingleberries all over the place, thinking you just cleaned yourself because a little bit of water kills bacteria so much better than toilet paper right?

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also you don't smear your ass with the toilet paper, you bunch it up around your middle finger and JAM it right up there and wiggle your finger around and repeat until it comes back clean am i right guys

>fingering your ass every time you take a shit
jej, Americans really are faggots. They did invent pegging, after all.

No, he's right. I ran out of toilet paper for awhile last month and being a lazy NEET and it being 4 deg F here, I just started rinsing with my removable shower-head jet on high pressure. Then, when I finally went out to buy TP again, it was disgusting. Duvet + TP combo is the only way to go; duvet first, then dry with TP.

My diet isn't shit, so all of my poops are clean little packages that just fall right out of my ass and done.

>drinking flouride and anything else your municipality want to throw in your water

... user why are you wiping your ass with your mum's bedspread?

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so you dump and then waddle over, pants around ankles, to this separate bowl hoping no dingleberries fall off during your trek? thats disgusting iibh

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>inb4 europoors pretend they own vehicles

>technology that Americans can't use or didn't know existed
>OP picture literally branded "American Standard"

Definitely

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I thought that thing was for ladyparts

I put it in R for racing mode, duh. That's why it's separate from the rest of it

Detachable shower, lol

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burger here, I have one of these

>clean
You will never get your ass clean by just shoving a piece paper on It. You are just spreading the shit around to the point you can't notice anymore.

So you never sweep or mop your floors?
You never scrub your sink or tub?

owned

>water kills germs
I'm guessing bidets don't spritz your butthole with Lysol?

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>Doesent have beaver telephone

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it's not about killing germs you retarded cuck. it is about effectively removing residual shit from your ass crack.

>thinking the bidet is just spraying your ass with water
American education everyone

>American standard
>not actually standard in America

Amerishits don't use water filters either
drink straight out the tap
then complain about the estrogen in the water or some shit.

Bidet's and toilet paper are both total shit. I have always just used baby wipes. Wiping your ass with dry toilet papers is the fucking worst thing ever I don't even feel clean after and adding water to the equation and then wiping with regular toiletpaper that dissolves in water just sounds like a recipe for getting covered in shit.

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>Hi kids, today we're going to waste taxpayer dollars telling you all about this strange toilet device that squirts water up your butt that you'll only ever encounter if you visit some stinky backwoods European hellhole, doesn't that sound fun and educational?

TP is a meme
what you actually do is use a handheld bidet, clean your ass, then wipe it with what I call a bidet towel. I have a pair of those, washed once a week and used in rotation.

Are all Yanks this snooty or is it just the larpers online

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Ignoring that that looks like a urinal, Americans phased out the use of the drinking fountain in the 1970s after the Jews successfully desegregated us.

either
>can't afford toilet paper
or
>too much of a squeamish pussy to put a finger anywhere near your butt for basic fucking hygiene
Which is it?

>bidet towel
even with water being shot up your ass there is still going to be shit residue bound to end up on that towel.... that you re-use several times
i cant imagine the smell of your bathroom

Hard to get a point across when all you're gonna do is spaz out like a high school jock.

So you wipe your ass with the same towel multiple times? That sounds unhygienic.

Like I said, it's a handheld. It takes no more than a few seconds and it's totally clean. Not once in 20 years has that scenario happened with me

>I have always just used baby wipes
RIP in peace user's septic tank
>having a single ass towel that is washed weekly
gross

One towel a week, then another while the first one's washed and drying. Since my ass is clean and I have solid personal hygiene it's not dirty at all.

1. Drill a well
2. Buy a distiller
3. Buy the distilled and spring water the gallon buckets that aren't that visible or bendable. this means there are little plasticizers in them.
4. Collect Rain waiter.

Conserving precious bodily fluids is not a meme either. Ancient Greek for wanker, Malaka, meant soft brain from too masturbation or even sex as it was used back then. Weak people indulge animal passions.

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>mfw i was the skinny quiet nerd that everyone thought was some spooky hackerman and bugged to copy homework from
If that's what you consider "spazzing out like a highschool jock", then I think you just proved my point.

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I'm just asian
My voice just never changed and my ex gf had more body hair than me

>>thinking the bidet is just spraying your ass with water
Is that not what it is?

Everytime i shit i use an enema bulb to clean my asshole and then i take a shower. If you do anything else you're disgusting.

Well it's got nothing to do with toilet paper or an aversion to fingering my asshole but you knew that already.

Mmmmmnope, those are pretty much the only 2 options, unless you just take pleasure in having water squirted up your butt.
I know I do.

>clean
You will never get your ass clean. That's the business end of of a shit factory.

The bidet is for WASHING your ass with your HANDS and SOAP and then you fucking DRY it with a dedicated TOWEL

It’s like saying that when you wash your hands you are just putting them still under a water stream like wtf

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>The bidet is for WASHING your ass with your HANDS
That sounds fucking gross. I don't do that with my bidet.

>wipe it with what I call a bidet towel. I have a pair of those, washed once a week and used in rotation.
out of curiosity when you have guests over do you all use the same ass towel?

That’s because you are using a fucking amerilard joke version of the bidet. That’s how it’s used in civilized countries, if you just spray your ass with water doing nothing I can agree that it’s fucking useless

>when you have guest taking a shower do they use your same bathrobe?
I mean, is there a need for such stupid questions?

Because she's a ewer

My bidet works fine, thanks. I wipe, press a button, and my toilet sprays high pressure warm water at my asshole. It's definitely a lot cleaner after using the bidet.

I'm not going to rub my hands all over my ass after a fresh shit. I don't care that I'd be in the process of washing them too. By the same token, I won't visit a farm and stick my hands into a pile of cow dung, even if I can just wash my hands right after. Go be a barbarian who wipes his ass with his hands elsewhere.

>washed once a week
Change them daily, like your hand towels, you disgusting animal.

A guest that's going to use your shower is a rare guest that's staying for a long time and was probably planned well in advance. A guest that might use your toilet can be literally anyone and is going to be a lot more common and likely on shorter notice.
If someone knocks on your door, do you quickly rush to prepare them an ass towel before you let them in, in case they want to use your toilet?

>duvet

>>everyone
Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
I use toilet paper, there's never shit stains in my underwear, I don't have hemorrhoids and I've never gotten pink eye, so ... I don't see what all the fuss is about.

If they are not staying and it’s a one-time thing they just wipe their asses with a paper towel and call it a day. It’s not mandatory you know

You do realize that first you wipe your ass with a paper towel in order to remove most of the shit and AFTER you finish the job cleanly with a bidet? Fucking retard, keep living the American dream I guess

You think toilet paper is a meme, so you keep your bathroom stocked with paper towels instead?

>You do realize that first you wipe your ass with a paper towel in order to remove most of the shit and AFTER you finish the job cleanly with a bidet?
Obviously? And what does that have to do with you eurocucks fingering your shitty asses?

Paper towels or toilet paper it changes fucking nothing it was just an example Jesus Christ if you see in the photo posted before there is toilet paper bed to the toilet

So if instead of washing your hands with soap you just had a high-pressure water spray which of them would sound more clean to you?

>TP is a meme
>what you actually do is use a handheld bidet, clean your ass, then wipe it with what I call a bidet towel. I have a pair of those, washed once a week and used in rotation.

w t f?

>do you quickly rush to prepare them an ass towel before you let them in

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Don't get me wrong, I'm sure soaping your ass makes it technically cleaner, but nobody holds their ass to the same standard of cleanliness as their hands. I'm not going around greeting people by touching my asshole to theirs, or picking up my eating utensils with my asshole. Frankly, just using toilet paper alone is enough ass-cleanliness, but blasting some water at it too to wash it off is nicer. soaping it up with your hands is absolute overkill, and has the added consequence of rubbing your hands (which are actually important to keep particularly clean) all over an ass that has recently taken a shit. I don't know why you have trouble understanding why civilized people might have an aversion to that. Maybe in Europe you use your assholes to interact with your environments, like an extra appendage, and it's more important for you to disinfect them. Do you have separate dispensers for hand sanitizer and ass sanitizer?

Yes if your eyes weren’t covered by fat you would see that on the bidet there is a dedicated soap dispenser. Also going out with a dirty asshole can be very problematic because rubbing shit in your ass continuously during the day can cause infections (would you leave your penis dirty during the day too?). Lastly I can’t even fathom you equating putting your hands in a pile of shit with washing shit residue from you asshole with fucking soap like you wash dirty hands or during a shower, but that’s American critical thinking at work I guess. Oh yes, you are supposed to wash your hands after a bidet so I guess it’s better being less hygienic in critical parts of your body for you

And this attitude, lads 'n Jow Forumsents, is why autoimmune diseases are rampant in first world countries. Enjoy your lupus.

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>you would see that on the bidet there is a dedicated soap dispenser
I don't remember ever mentioning your soap dispensers. Maybe you're referring to when I talked about hand sanitizer? Do europeans not understand the difference between hand sanitizer and soap?
>going out with a dirty asshole can be very problematic because rubbing shit in your ass continuously during the day can cause infections
There is certainly not enough shit on anyone's ass to cause an infection after wiping diligently and cleaning with water.
>I can’t even fathom
I know you can't sweetie. The concept is probably a bit harder for you to understand than the programming your television license gives you access to. Don't worry too much about it, and take your hands off the keyboard so you can put them back in your ass.

Autoimmune diseases are not rampant because someone cares about keeping his asshole clean, they are rampant because (((doctors))) like to bombard people with potent medicines even for a fucking clue
And guess who are the countries that do it?
China and the USA, subhumans working together like clockwork

>hand/ass sanitizer
What? I answered talking about soap dispensers because I never thought someone would be THAT stupid. As mentioned before, if you find yourself in a situation where you can't wash your ass then you make do with only toilet paper and wash it once you get hold of a bidet. Why are you talking about hand sanitizers? They belong either to an hospital or in a small bottle that you carry around when you go outside if you need to quickly use your hands for something that necessitates them being in decent hygenic conditions.
Can you please stop making retarded claims? It's getting annoying

Doctors don't make people wash their hands with antibacterial soap ten times a day. People are worried far too much about germs, you need to stop coddling your immune system. You should be DE-sanitizing yourself-- bowls of dirt at every sink instead of Purell, go roll naked through a puddle when it rains, really wriggle down into the mud, MMMmmmm... Look at me for example, I'm absolutely filthy, and I haven't been sick in years.

Nobody here is talking about washing his hands 10 times with antibacterial soap. The only one retarded enough to bring up actual hand sanitizers is that retarded amerilard fellow. I'm just talking about taking care of sensitive parts of your body with plain water and normal soap, nobody is "coddling" their immune system

>Why are you talking about hand sanitizers?
Because apparently in Europe you hold your asses and hands to the same expectation of cleanliness, so surely you also use ass sanitizer in addition to hand sanitizer?

I know how to use a sink faggot.

How many towels do you own mate, no one changes their hand towels daily
it's like changing your pillow cases daily
if you're not a germ infested rat, once a week is absolutely alright.

>If someone knocks on your door, do you quickly rush to prepare them an ass towel before you let them in, in case they want to use your toilet
kek

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But soap burns my bumhole. :(

isn't there a doctor somewhere who hasn't showered in years, yet doesn't smell like shit somehow?

>you hold your asses and hands to the same expectation of cleanliness
what? I don't pick up food with my ass and I don't touch other people with my ass so I don't see why you would say it. I just want my ass to have zero shit residue and smell nice during the day instead of being a stinky irritated mixture of sweat and leftovers of yesterday's dinner. You are making too many assumptions buddy, typical of ignorant know-it-all americans.
That's why soaps for bidet are more delicate lol, you don't use the same soap that you have for your hands, r-right?

Yuro overengineering a solution for washing your ass when there's already a shower in the same room