Helpdesk stories

>Be me.
>Work helpdesk.

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Oh so ur one of those sheepish cucks that thinks there actually is hope in the american financial system. Keep dreaming punk

>be helpdesk
>receive support ticket
>wait 5 minutes
>mark ticket as resolved

>Higher up manager in company has wife.
>Wife works part time remote/at secondary company office.
>Be Windows shop.
>She has Mac.
>Has to use x application via RDP to do job.
>Set her up with RDP for x application, verify it works.
>2 months pass.
>MY APPLICATION DOESN'T WORK.
>Teamviewer in and start application.
>It works.
>Credentials all saved from when I configured it.
>User thanks me, and acts like I saved the world.


How in the fuck do these people get out of bed in the morning? Her job is literally to do work in x application via RDP. How did she get away with doing nothing for 2 months?

Part 2:

>Higher up manager wants us to send Windows laptop for wife because Macs are gay.
>Send her laptop.
>Sign her in to Office, put shortcut for RDP server on desktop.
>Weeks go by.
>HOW DO I RUN APPLICATION??!
>Teamviewer in, and start RDP.
>Remote to x application server.
>It works.

Bitch didn't do her fucking job for three goddamm months, and nobody said anything.

What the fuck

Attached: WHATtheFug.jpg (150x200, 20K)

>How did she get away with doing nothing for 2 months?
Are you new to holes?
It's how they live their whole lives.

>Financial department uses x financial software to do job.
>Contracts support out to local company.
>Sends us tickets that I literally have to forward to local company.
>Do absolutely fucking nothing else for this, just forward emails.
>Local company works directly with users in financial department.
>Literally no fucking point in this.
>Local company closes tickets with no responses.
>Have to constantly hound financial department and local company for updates.
>Literally adds hours each week for everyone.

what the fuck. I'm literally Tom Smykowski

Fix my java path on my vm pls. I'll buy you a beer later.

Nigger what?

I'm IT, not CS.

How the fuck do I get a help desk job ? I'm desperate. I have a cs degree

I have to go through IT help desk to get it fixed. I would have done it myself if they gave me access rights.

>Implying CS=IT

Just prove that you have some experience.


Pay the admin off to give you admin access.

>Being a dev.
>Not having admin access.

wut

How don't you have local admin rights?

Experience in what ? I'll master excel. What job can I get

>Experience in what

Problem solving
fixing the computer make the macihine GO

I do that a lot ever since I was a kid. I was an early pirate

Changing the Java path is well within the realms of having IT do.
t. IT who has literally had to do that before. Thanks, Navy.

>Do absolutely fucking nothing else for this, just forward emails.
user, you should capitalize on this and automate it with some scripts. Imagine the "work" you could do while being paid.

Their organization set it up so developers don't have local admin rights. I didn't think I would have to educate people on basic technology concepts on a board specifically for people who know about technology.

anyone want to hear navy IT stories?

I'm squinting my right eye drunk mode. I have work in 4 hour AMA.

I'm a field services technician working on the NGEN contract as a private contractor. Go on.

Go on...

>Be application dev
>IT guys work a cubicle over
>Take an old Thinkpad T420 into work for use as a testing environment
>One of the IT guys immediately gets friendly
>Fawning over the laptop
>Cracks a sly grin
>"Hey user, you don't happen to spend time on a certain mongolian basket-weaving site, do you? You look like a man who enjoys private trackers. ;-)"
>Internally cringe, give him the blankest stare I possibly can
>"A mongolian-what? I have tracking disabled through uBlock"
>Awkwardly laughs as I maintain confused eye contact
>Slinks back whence it came
>Doesn't bother me again
For the love of god please don't do this.
This place isn't to be shared in meatspace.

Things that happened

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Unfortunately, I have seen with my own eyes the cancer that has destroyed Jow Forums
Zoomers have no shame

Nah that shit happens. Happened to me. I can't fathom bringing up this site without cringing. I don't know why people just can't play it cool for like two seconds.

I'd call bullshit but I've had 2 encounters similar to this

All of you faggots listen up
Jow Forums stays on Jow Forums. I don't want to talk about it in real life and will play dumb

>t. THE FIRST RULE OF FIGHT CLUB
fuck off with that faggotry. this place hasn't been le seekrit clubhouse for like 13 years now.

>uuuh i'm so ashamed i got to FOUR CHAN
>better not SOCIALIZE with anyone lest they think i'm an antisocial dweeb who goes to a website on the internet

oh my god you lilly-livered faggots nobody fucking cares IRL
seriously fuck off back wherever you came from

>Teamviewer
The absolute state of wintoddlers.

>Ashamed
More like you're all cringy fags
At least the ones who bring it up
If you have so little to talk about that you have to bring up memes on Jow Forums that's sad

>Work help desk for a finance company
>Help a bunch of boomers with their computers
>pretty slow paced, might do 3-5 basic tickets in a day
>pays $21
Living pretty comfy right now

it's 2019 brah. the actual news is now just reporting on shit that happens on twitter.
at least Jow Forums memes are funny and original.

>mfw a junior developer quit because we wouldn't let him access our network with Windows

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L1 tech stories

>Help my monitor's speakers don't work
>Check monitor specs, no speakers to be found
>Problem description: no sound, Solution: no speakers

>Help my monitor isn't working
>Ask for more details
>I can't use my mouse to click on the monitor's menus!!1

>Help my laptop just stopped working, I sent it for repair and now they're quoting me a price for the repair wtf?
>Check repair log, technicians typed in all caps:
>LAPTOP APPEARS TO HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY SUBMERGED IN WATER, WATER INGRESS IN ALL COMPONENTS INCLUDING LCD
>Customer continues to feign ignorance

Many such cases

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>work helpdesk at my uni for my last semester
>hated everything about it
>dropped out, got an internship
>got hired full time, make what I used to do part time for 2 weeks in half a day

on topic
>only one scantron machine on this end of the campus is manned by the help desk
>dipshit coworker starts "cleaning" it
>leaves it half fucked up and goes off for lunch leaving me alone
>prof comes in needing some exams graded
>try using scantron, only takes one at a time, spits it back out saying it can't be read
>prof gets angry (as he should), tell him I don't know how to fix it and he should come back later
>dumbass coworker comes back and unfucks it
That dude pissed me off so much. Like, why fucking break what isn't broken. It maybe spit back one sheet after 50 sheets. It's fine, you just run that one sheet after you moron.

based

You are a faggot but he didn't properly say it.

So you are both faggots.

Best way to talk about Jow Forums irl is dropping the latest memes.

>Working at reference desk
>Someone asks an interesting question
>Research and come up with fantastic answer
>Look up
>Question asker is being hauled away by security

Oh no wait that's Wikipedia

>editing env variables requires CS level knowledge
wtf am i reading

dafux wrong with that kid? Just use whatever shit the company uses, who fucking cares? If I worked for a company that for whatever reason decided to use mac or linux, I couldn't give less of a shit, now shut the fuck up and let me write some shit code

while doing tech support in university for a small IT department, a professor asked me if we had WinZip licenses (we didn't)

this was in around 2014 btw

lots of similar things happened but I forgot, it was madness

dean of our CS department fell for a javascript popup "YUO ARE HAVING A VIRUS PLS DO THE NEEDFUL CALL THIS NUMBER" scam and demanded we format his desktop

What are the other options?

TigerVNC

> No repeater functionality
This lady couldn't even open a shortcut, you couldn't expect her to find out what her local IP address is in a reasonable timeframe and that's assuming that she was connected to a LAN the poster had access to.
> VNC
Shitty protocol compared to proprietary offerings, even TeamViewer.

>VNC
Consider suicide

>and that's assuming that she was connected to a LAN the poster had access to.
Not hard to enable port forwarding.
>Shitty protocol compared to proprietary offerings
lol
t. pajeet

Again the lady couldn't even open a shortcut.
But whatever, you've obviously never tried to set up or even use remote desktop software in a professional environment, so your opinion doesn't matter anyhow.

Nah, I'm just not retarded. If you couldn't explain it to her properly, that's your fault. Learn better English and be more personable.

>fight club shit
I'm not sure you understand what you or I are talking about. Probably should quiet down over there.

Not literally how, just "Wow, I can't believe they don't trust you enough to give you basic control over your own computer"

I'm not the person who posted the story actually, but you make a lot of assumptions a lot of which tend to prove false in the real world, not to mention that you unironically recommended VNC for corporate use. This is less you might not be retarded but you have no idea what you're even talking about right now which is no different desu.

s/This is less//

If you worked in a company that does anything more than punch numbers you would know that VNC is the superior option.

>How did she get away with doing nothing for 2 months?
might be that she just hasn't disconnected the thing for two months.

>rural client calls up
>"the screen has gone nigger again"
>walk him through checking his monitor cables to get it turned on again

got that in the second or third week on the job, it was all downhill from there

AnyDesk, after TeamViewer fucked me over and denied me access because they detected commercial use I'm never using their garbage ever again.

How Fucking flagrantly abusing free team viewer sessions that that happened???

realvnc/vncviewer

msrdp

Don't mind that idiot. Team viewer just werks. Vnc is hassle and users (especially women) are unbelievably inept

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Literally only used to control my computers at home. Using more than two devices probably counts as commercial :^)

>Vnc is hassle
Pajeet detected.

Not much, since it counts an amount of unique connects for an indefinite periods of time. So, 20 connects over one day - ding dong bannu. 20 connects over one year - ding dong bannu.
You'll have to change two things to get a new clean ID:
- Kill your teamviewer processes
- Change your Windows folder install date with Attribute Changer
- Change your MAC address in the driver properties of your NIC
- Reboot

but doesn't I.T install and set up rdp on machines as they're assigned? do you guys really expect people who can't figure out why they don't have sound without speakers to install and setup whatever flavor of rdp you use?

Thanks but I already fully switched to AnyDesk and am as happy as can be with their service and security.

Probably not the guy you were talking to but I make remote access as simple as possible for my users. Like double click the short cut in the desktop easy.

that's what I like about realvnc, it can be set up to require no user interaction to connect. you just need to know the computer alias and the credentials it was set up with.

>Be me
>CEO wants new office opened in a month
>Network guys scrambling to get in Comcast fiber. All Cisco shit ordered and configured
>"We need you to get us that 90 in TV for the conference room, all PCs and everything else included"
>"Kay, no problemo"
>Get 3 quotes as required, order from one I wanted anyhow as it was lower cost and delivery on time
>New VP of IT, guy with the worst accident possible cancels my order
>Livid as fuck
>"You did not go through me for these things. I dont know these places. I wants quotes from walmart."
>"Approve the order I put in or talk to the CEO, COO or HR. I dont give a shit. My order needs to be put in the next 3 days to make it on time."
Already was applying for new job and was hired, still as principle I wanted to complete the job
>HR brought me in. I got written up
>Dragged both to CEOs office
>Explained to her any delay with the order today or tomorrow will result in her showing the board a new office with a empty desks and no conference room because they cant understand she had ordered it done by a specific date and refusing to sign a PO order and writing me up for refusing to slow it down doesnt help
>HR and new IT guy sweating
We got it done on time. New VP of IT lasted another 18 months after that.

Why does his monitor say l

Accent, not accident. Indian. Fuck never working under any of them again.

>working on helpdesk in an internet-based project
> constantly dealing with people trying to scam me/social engineer me to giving them free premium accounts
> all the time dealing with liars
> Why the fuck they are like this?
> Last ticket. Some fag asking on price
> Why did you increased the price?
> How can I explain to him that he is an idiot and due to his VPN he paid a fucking VAT?
> Demands refund for VAT...
> Because I am not an asshole, I help him...
> HE reviews me on reviews site as an asshole who is passive aggressive.
>feelsbadman.jpg
>mfw, I almost lost the job because of him.
> Yup, Helpdesk is a place of love.

Yeah and how does that work on client machines like laptops that they take everywhere?

do you not use company issued laptops?

I sure do and I have them vpn in. Team viewer is used on phones and tablets. Rdp in to laptops and computers. Literally no reason ever to use vnc

>New job, being the new guy I was planning to just listen
>Talking with other help desk together at meeting
>"We need more Nvidia cards for the PCs as they are requesting dual displays"
>"But we just ordered 22 of them, where did they go.. (chat when on like this)"
There are no CAD or any of that in this type of business
>Speak up first week after they stopped "Wait, these are just for dual monitors?"
>"yeah, so we can plug in 2 monitors into a pic" (assuming I was dumb)
>"But all these desktop towers have display port adapters along with VGA, how much are these cards?"
>"$90 each"
Explain to people that had been there 3+ years about display port to VGA cables being $10 and working with onboard VGA to allow for dual monitors.

>PC not pic
I got tons more, would have even more but took winter off for my health. Last job was amazed that I could build 20 laptops in a day when the other guys took 2 per day. Once I showed them how they went a bit faster with less work.

SPICE you spicy shitnigger

>be helpdesk
>some lady calls up saying that she cant get an example example of the pdf she is trying to find in explorer
>teamviewer in
>press 1 button
>be worshipped like a god

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahah and the other 99% of the company will fuck of the PC beyond repair. Fuck you needy nigger

4channel is a family and advertiser friendly site now user.

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This is my dream.
People always think there won't be a need for help desk in the future but zoomers are just as bad at tech as boomers.
If it isn't a smart phone they don't know.

Not an IT guy but at my work place I am known as the computer savvy guy so they always ask me to fix their shit.
>Boss calls me down to his office and demands I drop everything right now.
>Rush down.
>Hey user something strange is happening with my laptop.
>I am trying to write an email and the words just keep going across the screen.
>Explain to him to get to the next line he just needs to press the enter key.
>Treats me like a genius for the day.

>user this printer is broken.
>Open it up and find it is just a paper jam.
>Fix it in two seconds.
>Treated like a genius.

>Managers huff and puffs at me that the computer is broken beyond repair.
>Ask her what is wrong with it.
>IT JUST WON'T WORK WE NEED A NEW ONE!
>Show me what you were trying to do?
>She tries to open google chrome.
>Won't open.
>Fix it with task manager.
>Treated like a God for the day.

It always amazes me how tech illiterate people are.

>boomers never learned to deal with tech
>zoomers won't bother learning anything beyond social sites and vidya
The few that grew up during 2000 will be the last techsavy generation. Feels good.

>this thread
>teamviewer everywhere

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>Work.
Sorry, can't relate.

Start with asking for some internships, unpaid if you have to. Take the experience you get from that and put in on your résumé and then try to apply for a position.

Should I get certs on top of my degree? How hard is A+ and Network+? How far do I have to go on certs to get something ?

Certs are a good thing to do in your off time, but most employers will still greatly prefer prior work experience. I'm Network+ certified but I took the older version of it, which is supposed to be much easier. I know nothing about the newer versions. A+ I think is such a shitty cert but it might be useful to you in help desk world. Basically the types of material you'll study for A+ will include all sorts of silly details about decades-old legacy connectors you'll never ever see in the real world like their transfer rates and the number of pins on the plugs.

In my city A+ is extremely desirable so much so the city sports sora classes and exams. Guess I'll get it

>>uuuh i'm so ashamed i got to FOUR CHAN
>>better not SOCIALIZE with anyone lest they think i'm an antisocial dweeb who goes to a website on the internet
>oh my god you lilly-livered faggots nobody fucking cares IRL
>seriously fuck off back wherever you came from

came here to shit post and watch chinese drawed porn ANONYMOUSLY not spew retarded memes in work

I have a few from years back, I'm not certified nor did I complete college because they're memes and wastes of money.
>Be working at major hospital (4k+ employees) on night shifts
>always running around because I'm the only on-call tech while 1 or two people work the phones
>get a call to the financial office says a whole line of stations are not connected to the network
>suspicious.jpg
>run down there after 20 minute walk because the campus is fucking gigantic
>main secretary tells me no one's been able to get on the network for the last 2 hours at any of 8 stations in the middle of the room
>start tracing the stations to the bridge
>seems fine
>start checking each stations rj45 connections
>get to the middle station and the whole fucking assembly has been kicked and smashed into the wall
>stupid fucking clerk bitch mustve been playing footsie with the damn wall outlet for days and it finally collapsed into itself
>pull that shit out of the wall and plug it back in repairing the case with some masking tape kek
>put a huge do not kick the outlet sign on the monitor at the station and leave

>few weeks later
>make good friends with a dude at the helpdesk who's taking calls
>we both discover we mutually know people that were involved in a huge drug bust
>hearty keks were had and I offer to smoke him out
>walking around the campus at 3am smoking a joint good times
>fast forward two weeks
>he's fired and was arrested for stealing tablets from the storage room
>pretend to act surprised such a thing occurred
>go about my business and play dumb to him being a maniac

this

based

devilish

capitalism is totally efficient user it just werks

>sysadmin
>emergency stand-by for end of the year
>forget about it, get wasted like it's 1999
>3 AM helpesk calls, servers down
>20 minutes to wake me up
>20 minutes to make me understand what's going on
>no idea where I am, no idea where my laptop is
>19.5 minutes groaning at the guy how to log on my account and run recovery scripts
>ticket closed 30 second before breaching SLA
>back to ethanol coma
>two days later realize there's resolved red alert on my name
>piece together the story
>helpdesk turns down reward in booze
>buy the shift lunch and enough candy to give them diabetes