Office things that piss you off

>Debugging code
>In super deep thought
>coworker comes over to ask me a super simple question that they could have figured out themselves with a google search
>Takes 20 minutes to get back into the groove

>someone interrupts your work instead of emailing you to come over to their desk so you can do it when you have a moment

I would have killed myself long ago.

>Send someone an email asking them to come over to my desk
>user, you're right next to me!!
>Next time, interrupt them personally and ask them to look at something.
>user, don't interrupting me, I'm focused!

>You're poison running through my veins

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That's to prevent phishing

>requirement to use bureaucratic purchase system to order 50$ item for trial
>realization that item is from new vendor not setup in system yet
>new vendor will take accounting 3 weeks to setup
>new process requests "purchasers" to negotiate pricing on behalf of company so you can't make the purchase yourself and verify details
>interrogated about why the company can't seem to innovate in your department

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>having Skype for business
>fuckers email or call me for tiny questions anyway

I shivered at the "sushi from japan"

it helps to listen to music while in deep thought.
when you go back to listen to music, it's easier to get back into deep thought

it sucks anyway though

hahahahahahah wage cage stories..

hahahaha faggots, you all have no lives and are used as robots for no cause at all

hahahahahah kill yourselves all of you, nobody will even know you did hahahahAh

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no, she just could never help herself not to call you when she sent an email.
even if it wasn't important.

I can't program and listen to music at the same time unfortunately.

Thanks for the tip though

>open office plan
Yeah no thanks I will work at another company.

No thanks i'll prefer my cage thanks

>reply to email with detailed explanation of the bug
>retard doesn't read the whole email thread and asks again
>have to explain the whole thing again, but can't copy paste original email because I'll look like a dick

Very informative.
When did I sub to your shit blog again?

npc talking to npc

real human beings don't write blogs you idiot

For me it's
>Person sitting next to me Skypes me instead of getting up and talking to me in person
>They're a literal boomer

>cage
You mean privacy? Dumb ass.

I do this because sometimes I'm lazy and don't want to talk. it's useful

>Finance Director Prints out an invoice
>user could you scan this and send it back to me
>i've literally told her how to print to PDF 8 times now
Oh well Job Security I guess.
Any IT bros here? did the TLS transition fuck you up last week.

2 songs lmao try 20 secounds

No, I mean cage. Idiot

>"so-and-so is out of pocket this week"

This hit too close to home. It costs about $500 in labour to get the approval to spend $10 on basic parts. Some people have started paying for it with their own money and then trying to claim it back as an OOP expense, but I'm not fucking doing that. And forget about spending $50-100 on a tool that'll make the job take a tenth of the time, "we don't have the budget".

Our finance department refused to switch to anything that doesnt mail invoices and accept check over mail.
I understand why, but it's fucking annoying calling a vendor and telling them that when you are buying shit like GIS software as a trial for one person.

Fucking hell this.
>company spends hundreds on literally useless and pointless bureaucracy
>I want to buy a 50 bucks part
>Nah sorry not in the budget

birthday presents
always devolves into kissing ass for the boss and whoever organizes it buying good stuff for their friends
and guilt tripping you to fork $10 or more monthly

told them to go pound sand after I got a company pen and a card, not even a chocolate

This thread makes me happy I have my own office, don't have to deal with purchasing BS and don't talk to my coworkers unless I have to.

it's a multi-billion multination. I understand why too but it makes me cry. We have sysadmins filling out reqs in SAP when they should be... I dunno administering systems or something. And because it's tied to logon you can't kick it down to helpdesk peons.

>Haven't been given anything to do
>Something comes across my desk from another department
>It's fucked, so I spent a few hours marking it up to send back to them
>"user, what are you doing? We don't have a cost code for that!"
It costs them the same amount to employ me even if I'm just sitting on Jow Forums, but they hate me finding my own work to do because it's too hard to "find the budget".

*multinational - sorry rageposting

>laptop charger breaks, verify it with multimeter, something like fucking 2 volts coming int.
>ask If I can purchase a replace and expense it
>no user, what if it doesn't work
>um it's 15 dollars, and I can just keep the receipt
>no
we are about to onboard someone and I bet you they forget I told this about a month ago and i get yelled at.

glad i'm a tradesman that gets to work with my hands all day around real men, not onions based office drones. you're all pathetic.

There is a reason why I stopped working for big companies. Fuck big companies and "startups".

SO YOU LIKE REAL MEN, DO YA? ;-)

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>accountant/office administrator comes into our office (large office shared by 5 people)
>looks at my desk, "oh you have a wired keyboard and mouse, I'll order you some wireless ones"
>tell her it's okay, they work fine
>she gives me a "wtf" look, like I just called her a fucking retard
>meanwhile we're using 10 year old computers that struggle with daily tasks, and ordering stuff for R&D requires like 3 stamps of approval

>Hey user, you're an electrical engineer right?
>That means you're good with soldering and stuff, right?
>I need you to spend the next three months building a test bench for me.
>No, you won't get any choice about how it's actually designed, and everything will have to be approved by me before you build it
>Also I have no idea whatsoever about engineering and will tell you to do things in terrible ways because it makes me feel better
I can't imagine what it's like being a tradesman, the lack of control is unbearable.

electrical engineer != tradesman. I think you mean electrician unless that was the point.

learning to read a blueprint is a virtue and absolves you of a lot of responsibility if the EE fucked up and signed off. it's not until you hit 35 and have a family that you understand how nice it is to turn off your job when you go home.

>alright, let's do this...
>another day as a slave developer with insulting salary
>come on, just like that this day will be over
>*puts on earbuds and start working*
>"hey user, i barely hear you talking y'know haha"
>"guys do you ever see user talking? hahah"
>"user did you watch that new show on Netflix?"
>relax, one day this nightmare will end, just act cool...
>"oh i haven't got time to watch it yet hahah, i'll check it out this weekend after college, i heard it's funny hahah"

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user I've done both, I do IT and Sysadmin work but I used to do installs and pull cable and do line work. It was fun climbing, going through attics and having old bitches grab my dick and ass.
That's because being on projects pretty much means you a cog in the system, when you are doing shit freelance you often walk client into your choices. When you have a PM or CM over you forced to do what they want.

You could talk to them during lunch or coffee break
Or you can go after office and have a drink
Maybe some qt3.14 from your office likes you
Chicks like smart developer dudes

That's my point. I'm an engineer, but they thought that means I should fucking swing screwdrivers all day.

>it's local culture to get coffee for everyone in the room.
>some people never offer, but never pass either.

lol if they have an engineer building a test bench for 3 months there are bigger problems afoot. like maybe you could give them a design and offer to help the tool and die / millwright / machinist (depending on bench type) but if they want you to do the labor I would be pushing back on that shit hard - if only on the cost of your time.

>Team-building exercise where you have to make a tower out of uncooked pasta.

>refuse to get standing desks for anyone
>give in and get standing desks for people who get doctors notes
>everybody knows its a scam
>300 doctors notes
>have to figure out how to explain in a roundabout way to new hires in my team that they need to talk to their doctor about whether standing desks are right for them

I already have been pushing back, and they literally don't give a fuck.

>Hey, so I needed something to pull the outputs to power/ground so we wouldn't get fault codes
>So I just put in some 10k resistors so that it wouldn't sink too much power
"No, that output drives a solenoid! You need the actual solenoid to simulate it properly!"
>That's part of an assembly that weighs 50+ kg and costs thousands of dollars
"Okay, then just use a resistor of the same value!"

So long story short, today I'm planning to put in a 25W resistor because my boss (who has an engineering degree) doesn't understand high school concepts.

>who has an engineering degree
Did he win that wrestling down three grandmas at the local wallmart?

Beats being a pathetic neat and it's not wage cucking if the pay and job are good

>4 years at my current web dev job
>no one has even once initiated small talk with me
life is hard being a literal subhuman ogre

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>Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment.
>Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment.
>Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment.

He has a scar showing that he's had literal brain surgery, so I'm putting his retardation down to that.

How fucking akward to date your coworkers

None, I work with 99% males and 100% of them are white and right wing. Everything is cool beans. Texas is the last bastion of humanity and western civilization.

just because you know you have cancer doesn't mean you can fix it lol

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the 1% wymen is the cleaning personnel and the receptionist on the 1st floor.

yeah this is reserved for shit jobs only. anything that even smells of career is too long haul for these risks. unless you work in marketing where the laws of space and time don't apply and your value is in your ability to schmooze, lie and deceive

I hate those songs. I hear them every day when driving to work.

C O P E
O
P
E

MORE YOU FUCKING LOSER

>get to the office whatever time I want (sometimes 9am, sometimes 11m)
>leave whenever I want (sometimes 5pm, sometimes 7pm)
>boss is chill as fuck and in another country
>coworkers are bros and everyone respects me
>started ordering dildos to random people in the office as a prank
>retarded internet company perks like free bananas and yoghurt

Now if only I could be paid market average...

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why are there two mouse pointers?

>New office job at a small IT department
>Fresh team composed of young lads
>Have a schedule taking turns choosing the music on the BT speaker set
>The team gets divided in two factions
>Full shit hip-hop Drake-like songs VS full weeb anime OST songs.
>Put some Jamiroquai and Casiopea when it's my turn.
>Both factions: "WTF is that shit user, that sounds like trash".
>Bring my Xiaomeme Sports Mini wireless earbuds ever since.

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because screenshot of the photo. I ain't posting metadata from phone camera on this shit

sometimes I forget half the people here have nothing else

Lol keep telling yourself that

>get a really interesting looking email
>Open it because fuck it it's not my computer
>Was actually a phishing test from corporate and I failed
Fucking hate this shit every time it happens. Waste of my time.

I hate office itself.

nothing is ever perfect user. do not forget that.

>company uses archaic piece of shit software systems that haven't been maintained since the late 90's and are full of bugs
>90% of my software projects involve writing some addon or proxy system that interfaces with said piece of shit software in order to fix a problem with it
>like trying to cure cancer by attaching tumors to your tumors

I'm the only one in my office with my own wired keyboard and mouse, everybody else has a good moan about their apple peripherals being flaky pieces of shit and they won't replace 'em.

>Hey user why don't you come have a coffee break with everyone?
>We are going out for lunch. Do you want to come?
>It's John's birthday and he brought cake! There's some for you too!

>hating your coworkers

That one project manager who sends you messages like this:
>Hey user, can I ask you a question?

>get a call from a client
>hi user I just mailed you something, did you look at it yet?!
>email arrives just as I take the call
>complicated request for a quotation involving multiple commercials, photography and involves retouching and cgi
>user we really need a quick quotation!
>didn't even read it yet, wtf do they think?! That I'll just sperg out a number?
>me: yeh yeh, I need to check it with the guys first, be back end of the day with the quotation
>client responds with a slightly disappointed oh..

And then you make a long disclaimer of what-ifs which is mandatory when dealing with these people.

This sounds like hell

Your lower salary is compensation for the vastly more desirable work environment. Quit your bitching.

My company sends those emails out on a random basis, but it works out to be once every month or so. If you fail more than 3 times in a 12-month calendar period, you have your internet privileges revoked. Which means you basically can't get any work done. Which means you get fired.

My coworkers.

The longer I work in this industry the more I'm convinced of the need for a nuclear fueled dark age.

Destroy the Sonos or kill your co-workers. Either way you'll be making the world a better place.

i know that feel way too hard

At which point I would have simply played Merzbow, Whitehouse, Consumer Electronics and Brighter Death now.

If they want to play the audio equivalent of fucking diarrhea I'll play noise.

or
>cleaning bitch moved my mechanical keyboard and I gotta realihgn it

EVERY DAY

fuckin bitch better not be cleaning it with chemicals

fuckin dispise coworkers that just come up and plop their laptop down on my desk and decide its time for me to work on their shit with them. like what the fuck do you think I was just doing right when you came up?

no joke this guy asked me how to enable this setting that I had previously explained to him last week in the exact same scenario. I told him to scroll up in his chat and I even had screenshots XD

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i was the only guy that liked metalcore at my old office :*(

this. after realizing I was the odd one out at 3 offices in a row I figure Im best off just working remotely from home

try some NURSE WITH WOUND .
youtube.com/watch?v=NbfxNoYxMhI

This dude in the white shirt makes my back uncomfortable

I don't know how people can focus on programming, while there is music playing.