Job interview

>Get to a job interview
>See this
>What do?
also would like general advice for job interviews and what to do or not to do

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Answer their questions and ask questions I have

based boomers

Interviews are mostly there to make sure you aren’t an axe wielding psychopath. So long as you don’t spill your spaghetti, whether or not you get the job depends on whether someone else got it for nepotism.

This doesn't make sense. A psychopath is much less likely to spill spaghetti since they're more calculated and can fake their emotions

this. and remember - the "ask questions I have" part is not optional. You are not asking questions to learn the answers (although that's a nice extra), you do this to show them what your thought process and your concerns about the company and the position you are applying to are. For the love of god, don't be the guy who aces the technical quiz part but just accepts any shit they throw at you.

>just accepts any shit they throw at you.
like what? also when is it proper to talk about salary and how do you ask them to give you more than they are offering?

>you do this to show them what your thought process and your concerns about the company and the position you are applying to are
I asked how the cafeteria food is like there, what does that say about me?
They laughed and immediately went from serious interviewing mode to friendly coworker

>lay out an expansive argumentation about qualifications, field and labor market situation for what wage I'm demanding
>they just go "yeah alright, that's kinda what we were expecting, too"
FUCK, should've asked for more.

here in Eastern Europe they just start talking about it on their own, literally "oh and btw what are your salary expectations?" at the very end of the interview, then they write the number down and never call back.
dunno how it works in other cultures though

good for you I guess. Was the HR person still present at that time, or were you just with the manager and the technical interviewer?

I asked the HR lady and technical interviewer. Manager wasn't there

Did you fuck the HR lady?

No, user

me before

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me after

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Pretty much this. I interview people all the time just to make sure they aren't complete nutcases on a surface level, then the real boss decides who he likes the best and also based on the salary they are asking for. It's a job seekers market now so you get some pretty high asking numbers.

how do I find out what salary I should ask for?

It’s appropriate to talk about salary after they extend an offer. In general, negotiation favors the person who can wait the longest: at this point they’ve already sunk cost into interviewing you (flight, hotel, labor) and you have a number to work from. Anything else should be indefinite numbers.

Basically better to stay unemployed than whore yourself out for less than market rate.

Research beforehand what the average salary in the area and field is, or even better, the average salary of the company, then use your unique education/exeprience/skills as argument for something higher

Thanks. I just got past round 2 of the interview process. I'll see if they fly me out. Not sure.

how could you even find out the average salary at a certain company? I get it when they're gigantic like google or microsoft, but how do you find out about the average company?

glassdoor fucking genius. or glassdoor positions similar to it with companies of a similar size. are you retarded?

How do I get paid cash in hand so the uni I dropped out of don't steal any money from my bank account?

What the fuck should I ask? They already told me all about the hiring proccess, and the salary range, and what does the company do. I do not know what to ask.

doesn't have shit outside the US

be a stripper

"so you understand why I'm asking 20% above that, perfect."
Selling cars was the best training in learning how to get people to do whatever the fuck you want.

share your wisdom user

never justify price, ever.
"That's what I charge."

go sell cars for 6 months to a year. The moment you have sales on your resume is the second you set your value at a minimum of 6-figures when negotiating with a business owner. When you're able to imply your ability to make decisions around cash-flow and not from within the narrow scope of the commodity you're producing, you make it clear that you're not going to be a pain in the ass to deal with because you understand that most important thing is revenue generation. You're effectively selling the future value of some "wiz-kid" idea you may come up with that exponentially increases their revenue.
1. Never apply for an entry level position. Meaning when you show up for the interview do so under the impression that you're going for a lead role, this is done by...
2. Maintain control of the conversation. Don't fall for their bullshit white board questions asking you to solve a problem for them. Respond with you don't think for free. Always ask them deep questions. Ideally stump them. The second they can't answer a question directly is when you throw their bullshit back at them with "Hmm, interesting."
3. For this I charge around [1.5x - 2.5x the going rate] When you give them the number you say it confidently, not in a smart-ass 'nothing personal kid' sperg way but straight up and follow it with silence. Don't break the silence or eye contact when you say it. They'll object and that's when you apply objection handling that you learned from in field experience.

>he actually tells them his salary expectations

lmao

ask about the role

Prepare questions the evening beforehand. Write them down on a notepad. Have the notepad in front of you when you're interviewing. Read the questions on there you find relevant for the situation and write the answers to them next to them. Don't forget your notepad, interviewers get intimidated by them and it shows you're seriously interested in the role.

Ask one or two questions if you're nervous (otherwise more), then look through your list and say "I think you answered most of my questions already".

Possible questions:

Does the team work with scrum? Or similar? How do you work together?

What version control system do you use?

Could you tell me how much front end and backend id be doing for this role?

Could you talk a bit more about the product you're making? specifically..

How is work/life balance? Work from home for part of the week? What else do you do to help members of the team achieve a good work life balance?

this is just off the top of my head but usually I spend half an hour or so before the day of the interview to think of questions and write them down.

this just sounds like "be an arrogant and overconfident prick" which will result in them just ditching you for someone way cheaper

and this is exactly what anyone who makes less than what they're worth thinks. They project their inability do be assertive as "professionalism" or "courtesy" and frame the guy who gets what he wants as an "asshole"

It's also the mentality of someone who not only undervalues their skillset but even their time. Not to mention the inability to extrapolate an argument given that there's no reasonable way, due to the character limits, to properly describe, in depth, the exact steps needed to be taken in order to follow this through.

I used to think car salesmen just acted the way they did because it was their job and they were doing it the best they could.

More and more I come to realize they're actually just assholes in real life. I don't think you don't deserve your pay, or that you're not competent. Good on you user. I'll do me.

>look up the average salary
>ask for more so you have some room to negotiate

Also never accept their first offer

>and how do you ask them to give you more than they are offering?
If they make the first offer always respond with "that's a bit below my expectations" and throw out a number

I'm afraid of accepting the first offer, since currently I earn less than one half they may be offering. How can I ask for more if I earn so little?

Thank you, I'm goinf to think about some question to ask. In the first interviews they explain everything I need to know, so when they asked me if I have more question I reply: no. Then they asked me: are you sure, are you pretty sure? And I reply: no. After the interview I felt I just justed it bad.

They don't know how much you earn user, and if they ask you're not going to tell them because that would be conveding ground in the negotiation

>Never accept first offer

"Hi user, thanks for coming in and meeting with us today. Your qualifications and experience are very impressive. Can I offer you a tea, coffee or water?"

"Sorry cunt, no deal!!! REEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"

kek

But they did, in the first phone interview. I felt ashamed of my monies, that I inflated the number a little adding savings, utilities and end-of-year-money. Still little money, tho.

Ask them the following:
Who the fuck are you?
Why the fuck would I want to work for you?
If they don't have acceptable answers, run, don't walk. Fuck corporate kikes and their goddamn sweatshops.

Same as you dude, for a management position, salary's better. They dig programmers with business expertise. I'm gonna say no to the offer as soon as I fly in.

Where do you live, Afghanistan?

I JUST WANT A FUCKING JOB FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

I dont like programming. I dont like computers. It's literally just a means to an end so i can get enough money to stabilize my depression in order to find out what i actually enjoy in this rotten fucking piece of shit life. And then i need to sit there and be enthusiastic and happy and joyful. I wish i could just suicide, that sure as hell would've made things so much easier, but nooo that i can't say cuz they'll throw me into the fucking mental institute again where i'd get drugged out of my mind with untested shit, im on my own.

Fucking hate interviews. Why would anyone force an introvert do something like that? It's literally worse than torture. Absolutely humiliating for me to sit there like a fucking pawn begging for them to accept me and then get rejected over and over again since I have 0 experience applying value to myself, even if I doubtlessly could get any job done better than any fucking idiotic plebian drone around me given only half or a third of the time to practice. If i only were brave enough to argue my own worth instead of depending on others to realize it for me, or if I only had enough will to live that i wanted to become anything other than alive. Or if only i had gotten a solid drug addiction as a kid or better yet asked for help before shit became so bad that no one no longer knew how to so. Pathetic. Just pathetic.

two old white men in charge? I'll breathe a sigh of relief honestly.

>I have 0 experience applying value to myself
Fake it 'til you make it, user. It's what i do.
pretend you're shilling your BFF and switch the pronouns around.

also i recommend >>Jow Forums. shit's been tough for me too lately.

Just bee yourself, user.

You just proved yourself to be exactly the type of person interviews try to filter out.

Depends on the interviewer, I've had some interviews where the interviewer starts asking questions about subjects he has no knowledge of or "I forgot about X application, its been a while haha...". to which most of are outdated unsupported applications that our teachers decided to skim past during our courses

if that doesn't work

>1. Never apply for an entry level position.
retarded advice, fastest way to get a form rejection letter or nothing at all
>2
sounds retarded, but I think it's probably good advice. I've been in interviews where i just looked bad because of their retarded scoring system, them nitpicking over shit that doesn't matter and trying to look like know it all faggots.
>3
yeah no ones going to pay you 2x the going rate for the vast majority of positions

Huh. I just realized my last interview was just like this.
Act like a normal human being, you'll be fine
>don't be logical

>Huh. I just realized my last interview was just like this.
same, I got double teamed hard

>interviews try and filter out calm logical people who think things through
ALL HR AND RECRUITER SCUM MUST DIE KILL THEM KILL THEM ALL SLAUGHTER THE FUCKERS STAB THEM IN THE EYE BASH THEIR HEADS IN THEY DESERVE ALL THAT AND MORE GODDAMN DRAINS ON THE ECONOMY RUINING PEOPLES LIVES DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEE

Applying for "entry level" positions is the fastest way to get rejected because they are all a ruse. They don't actually exist. All allegedly entry level jobs require years of industry experience these days.

no one is going to give a jr a sr level position just because they applied for it. there's 100 applicants per position

Pass with flying colors like all the others. *dabs on cucks*

I literally got a phone call today saying I got turned down due a junior role because I don't have enough experience, I don't even know why they bothered calling, maybe they thought I had done experience secreted away

based

>what not to do
drop pants, display wang
>what to do
drop pants, display vag from gender transition surgery, explain how transitioning helped you understand how much women and non-cis people are discriminated against and how realizing that made you a better developer

Don't give retarded answers
Be able to talk about things you did in previous work places and explain the decision making, pros and cons of technologies, etc.
Find some topic you're excited about or interested in and focus on it when you can.
Really, don't give retarded answers, such as
>so user why are you looking for a new job
>hurrrr for the money, doh

>giving honest professional answers is bad
KILL ALL HR AND RECRUITER SCUM KILL THEM ALL KILL THEM ALL LEAVE NONE ALIVE LINE THEM UP NOOSE AROUND THEIR NECKS READY FOR A LONG DROP AND A QUICK STOP

same here user. You're not the only one

turn 360 degrees and walk away

people play games with this too much. and it really only works in the small business environment because corporate HR at large orgs have formulas to do this shit. data mine all the salary sites and you will get a realistic picture of what you should be paid, and try to get that or a realistic number more than it without being a dick, and that's it. if they offer less than what you are worth then you can walk away guilt free.

and you can't even negotiate until you have real experience, no hiring manager is going to negotiate with a child that has no proven experience.

>unable to work with people
user, we will get back to you if we have an opening for you.

>somebody literally tells you all you need to do
>freak the fuck out instead of accepting the suggestion

Spergs like you are why getting jobs is so easy for non-retards.

HIRING MANAGERS NEED TO DIE SLICE THEM APART THROW THEM IN A GODDAMN WOODCHIPPER SCUM THAT LOCK APPLICANTS OUT OF THE WORKFORCE FOR FRIVOLOUS REASONS DONT DESERVE TO LIVE

I can work with people just fine. HR, recruiters, hiring managers, and other assorted dreck aren't people. They are disgusting filth that needs to be killed so they don't do even more damage to society. Your response only helps prove my point, you HR faggot. Stay right there. I'll get a knife.

You're hired! When can you start?

>it can't see the problem with encouraging dishonest unprofessional behaviour just to get hired
HR filth detected. Kill yourself before someone else finds you and does it for you.

Every day I thank HR for keeping nutjobs like this away from me.

I was like you when I graduated college, and now I'm a 30yo boomer and I have to actively avoid applying to positions because I'm guaranteed to get interviews for anything I apply for, and people are constantly trying to recruit me. it gets better but you're going to have to eat shit for a few years.

HR are a million times worse and deserve every bit of violence possible. Don't fool yourself.

>I can work with people just fine
Not if you can't get a job!

>Job interview
>boomer hiring manager
May as well just walk out the fucking door. boomers are the fucking WORST. The level of entitlement they have is off the fucking charts.

HR just facilitates boring interview and onboarding paperwork. I never have to interact with them. Potentially crazy teammates, I would have to interact with every day.

>rolls in the whiteboard

It is impossible to even "eat shit" because hiring is broken. HR filth have reached such levels of abject incompetence that nearly anything I could think up would be too good for them. I was all enthusiastic and easygoing when I graduated college. Now I'm also 30 years old and no matter what despite trying everything HR assholes continue to ignore my applications. There are many others in the same situation through no fault of their own due to HR faggotry. KILL ALL HR AND RECRUITER SCUM.

So you're a 30 year old with no qualifications, you and wonder why nobody wants to hire you.

lots of big orgs hire temp/contract employees instead of permanent employees, so a good way to get in is through a temp agency, work somewhere big for a year or two then use those connections to get a permanent job. the sooner you accept reality, the sooner you'll stop eating shit.

>graduate in middle of "recession"
>nobody will hire you for an actual job
>work service sector to make ends meet
>pay for schooling
>go for interviews at 33
>oh you have no experience goodbye

an entire generation of kids literally fucked over for life

Did you bother to get internships while in college?

If you were forced to apply to thousands of jobs, each time getting declined for transparently bullshit reasons, while your government persecuted you for being unemployed and your family told you it was your fault then you would be a little crazy too.

I have multiple qualifications you disgustingly fallacious faggot. Qualifications don't help getting entry level jobs. You need experience for that. HR AND HIRING MANAGER SCUM MUST DIE.

Dude, you gotta sidestep HR, appy direct to the department or to a specific manager. Getting a job is your goal. Preventing you from getting a job is HR's job.

>preventing you from getting a job is HRs job
Which is why hiring is broken and those disgusting drains on the economy must die. Are we finally all on the same page here?

Did you not get internships in college? Why would they hire someone less experienced?

How is your government persecuting you for being unemployed?

>user mentions graduating college
>"oh so you have no qualifications then?"
You must work in HR.

College produces a shitload of incompetent undergrads.

>how is your government persecuting you for being unemployed
Standard Australian government policy. If you dare to be unemployed for longer than 6 months you'll be put into unpaid forced labour that achieves nothing except waste tons of time thus making it even harder to get a job. They also periodically try and introduce various other measures designed to turn the long term unemployed into slave cattle. Never mind how they sabotaged the tech sector as that's technically a separate issue. Aust govt is corrupt bullshit from top to bottom.

lolwut. Do they do that even if you decline welfare?

>moving the goalposts

Already mentioned internships a few times. Did you get them? Undergrad w/o internships or some sort of experience will obviously be passed over for someone with some sort of experience.

If you decline welfare then you're technically not unemployed, just not participating in the workforce completely. The government doesn't give a shit about you then, but you'll just starve instead because lolnomoney. And no, before you try and assert bullshit, welfare is explicitly not payment for the unpaid forced labour because if it was it would be subject to pesky minimum wage laws.

>>giving honest professional answers is bad
How did you infer that's what I said?
You should totally give professional answers, but don't make a fool out of yourself.
I'll be even more specific:
>be professional
>answer technical questions
>explain your rationale when answering technical questions, think out loud
>if you happen to know the answer, say so
>if asked technical questions about your previous positions make sure you fucking know what you're talking about, or say you don't know, for example
>why did you choose to use database x and not y?
>in other words, brush up on the technical aspects of your previous jobs as well, probably deeper than you went into in the job itself
>don't shit talk your previous employer
>don't tell them you're there only for the money, you can suck dick for that
>emphasize what you like and what interests you
>DON'T be dishonest, just focus on what's important to (You)