Hey Jow Forums, lets make a thread for patents that never really made the cut; I'll start with this
Patents
Logan Bell
Adam Jones
freepatentsonline.com
"Apparatus for facilitating the birth of a child by centrifugal force."
Daniel Lewis
freepatentsonline.com
"Paddle wheel rotorcraft"
Angel Edwards
freepatentsonline.com
"Mouse device with a built-in printer"
Cameron Cruz
freepatentsonline.com
"Device for moistening the adhesive coating on postage stamps and envelopes"
Jayden Hughes
freepatentsonline.com
"Bird Diaper"
Chase Morales
I don't like that the bird is making bedroom eyes in the figure.
Jackson Lewis
Zachary Bell
There was a Hungarian tinkerer guy appearing on a late night talk show with a device just like this.
Nathaniel Brooks
Holy shit, these are hilarious.
Jason Young
Nathan Robinson
is that apple?
Luis Gutierrez
jej
Parker Green
how the fuck can you patent how to swing on a swing? what the fuck is wrong with America?
Ethan Cruz
>what the fuck is wrong with America?
Where do we start?
Cameron Bailey
What exactly did the """""""inventor"""""" intend to do with this patent? How do you market, or even enforce a patent like this?
Aiden Bailey
please return my sides
Nicholas Ramirez
Image for the birthing centrifuge
Landon Wright
Behold, my revolutionary bird swing
Chase Myers
James Evans
but it fucking works tho
Carson Fisher
Patents can also cover methodology.
Henry Clark
Shitty understanding of how patents work and why you'd use one. Even if I had a patent for all versions of folding phones, do you think that I would have any way to enforce Samsung and Huawei to pay up?
Caleb Cruz
Not with separated paddles. It's like, layers of bad design.
Gabriel Green
excuse me sir can you tell me how my sides exited the solar system?
Christopher Robinson
If you have a (valid) patent you have a legal right to enforce it.
Your way to enforce they pay up is by them participating in the local market. So they're concerned about court rulings.
Carter Russell
It's like, the get rich quick scheme your great grandpa told your grandpa about.
"You'd better patent your idea, my old man got the idea for a radish picker stolen from right under him! The guy that stole it is a millionaire now!"
Kayden Scott
A civil court case
Adrian Cook
"Method of exercising a cat"
Joshua Jones
This is what patent trolls do, though.
Jose Long
I'm dying at the idea of the baby coming out at comical speeds.
>Ready? 1, 2, 3 VWOOOF *splat*
Dominic Murphy
The machine malfunctions and the baby is thrown out of the womb at 50 km/h and gets diced by the vagina net
Lincoln Reyes
this is some fucking zodiak killer shit
Justin Bailey
You are asking to be sued.
Parker Morgan
I'm afraid this one made the cut. These are good when you want to take your parrot outside. They get startled easy. When they get startled they fly off where they can get in to all kinds of problems. Catching poop is a happy accident.
Eli Reyes
Centrifugal force.
Alexander Thompson
It's coming.
Colton Sanchez
someone patent this
Owen Roberts
Using centrifugal force to harvest chicken eggs. Put the chickens on swings and just spin them around as the eggs pop out in all directions
Blake Brooks
It'd be like that scene from The Last Starfighter.