What would you do if your were the Microsoft CEO?

What would you do if your were the Microsoft CEO?

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use the billions in research funds to write a decent os based on the BSD kernel

Force all employees to use toilets

this, holy shit. Did you ever check a microsoft support forum thingy? It's poo in the loos all the way down, and no matter what the problem, they always suggest the same fucking crap. I don't even. Why is this allowed?

Chill out, collect some cash, then retire and spend my time drawing pictures and dancing.

I would buy an island and contract eastern european pimps to fly in nubiles for my pleasure island.

I would make Windows open source and do whatever the fuck I want with the money I made

Aside from being fabulously wealthy?

I would continue on the path that Microsoft's already on. Everything would be software as a service. Lock people into subscriptions for office and enterprise software.

I would focus on building a better windows to facilitate this and feed some open source projects like kubernetes.

I would also do operating system research and release my findings to the public.

Hire moot away from Google.

shit in the street

terminate all contracts with pajeets and pajeet companies. to make up for staff loss, open source most of windows (quirks and compatibility workarounds stay closed).

Have sex with cute femboys all day.

Build a space ship and leave.

Grow hair.

lock down windows
ban win32 apps
ban steam
ban spotify
ban netflix
ban itunes
disable KMS activation
charge $199 a month for the privilege of using windows
run boner pill ads in the settings app
forcibly update every win7 pc to win10
laugh all the way to the bank as ni/g/gers STILL use windows

Fuck up every machine running Windows 7.

Donate some billions to the GNU Project.

Fire all Indians

aidsmoby is doing pretty well for himself i see

Enslave linus torvalds. Force him to use a windows pc for the rest of his life. He also gets electroshocked for unapproved behavior.

Buy Jow Forums, hire moot, force him to clean these shitting streets.
Also I would name it Microsoft Jow Forums, and Microsofts 4channel. Then rename it Jow Forums- Windows and technology. And /v/- Xbox.
After that I would just spend most of my money on hookers and blow, try and liquidate as much as I can and enjoy the wealth until I get fired.

>Push hololense harder
>Get rid of the microsoft versin of chromium. Just copy chromium
>push way more funding into bash for windows
>push way more money into mono
>really try hard to eradicate visual basic

Make SP3 for Windows 7, fuck it MS already released DX12 and a version of Edge for it, might as well add VR support and some other features from win10 people have deemed good.

>fire pajeets
>fire women
>fire minorities and trannys
>hire all white giga chad programmers
>eliminate adds/botnet from windows 10
>bring back the classic shell interface

I think that's a start.

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Find the Wives/ (of age) daughters of Apple/Google/Sony Execs. pay them large sums of money to have sex with me saying shit like " I fucking love xbox, Fuck me like Apple fucks their customers, Fuck me so hard I start to like Windows phones" etc. Then live stream it to Mixxer. This would be my entire replacement for marketing.

2018 is legitimately better. I can press the windows key, type what I want, and it will come up instead of having to traverse multiple levels of dropdown menus.

I'll keep that feature. Just get rid of flat cancer.

>company loses 90% of employees
>productivity is at an all time high

>Fire the Indians
>Make a new initiative to reprogram Windows from the ground up (and actually write documentation this time) so it's not the 30GB clusterfuck of poo we have now
>Hire an on-site corrupt psychiatrist to freely give out desoxyn prescriptions to any employee who requests one
The road ahead will be tough but the meth will push us through it

* Add a package manager to windows
* Add "wineprefix"-like containers to windows
* Add support for better filesystems, like zfs, ext4 and btrfs
* Ultimately, build "windows runtime for applications", which is basically wine but it works
* Make a custom linux distro built around it
* Pay Apple to build a graphical interface for it
* Research genetic engineering
* Release the nekomusume virus into the water supply

and rebuild windows part

wow, that picture comparison really makes you think

Ask the CIA, NSA and FBI to financially support me and allow my tax evasion scheme and in return can gain access to my customers data

continue it on the path it's on for a few years
retire

Sue Apple into the ground. Make sure they run out of business within the next 5 years.
Then do the same with Facebook, Google, Yahoo, Yandex, DuckDuckGo, Amazon and every other big tech company.
Then shut down Microsoft.

Fuck technology.

Leak Win7 source code