"ugh, I literally can't wait for PHP to die!"

So what's the problem?

You're contradicting yourself moron.

Ride the tiger.

shut the fuck up, faggot. you stole that from here:
webonastick.com/php.html

Jow Forums isn't social media, and everything that actually matters can easily be a static webpage, no JS required. The fact that you need content blockers like uMatrix to browse the modern web shows how cancerous it is.

>*writes shit code*
>"why didn't PHP stop me!"

No shit, you think I'd write that out myself when some other person has done all the work for me? Also grats on linking to a page which explains why PHP is shit, way to shoot yourself in the foot.

Retard, it's about logical consistency. The same code written under most other languages would output uno.

>Jow Forums

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Yeah sure it can be a static web page, or you can provide a decent end-user experience where they don't have to GET and entire fucking page of HTML every single time a graph needs to update.

> steals someone elses example code
> tries to pass it off as their own
> no_source.png
> you sure shot yourself in the foot duuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh
LAMER
A
M
E
R
...one day you'll get computing skills to come up with examples of your own.
>Also grats on linking to a page which explains why PHP is shit
you probably should have linked to it instead of pretending to know stuff about things you know nothing about, you sad and pathetic fucking
LAMER
A
M
E
R

you can see his stripes but you know he's clean

ITT: retards, lamers and lamer fucking retards that don't know anything about PHP.
javascript for everyone! the levels of clueless fucking faggotry here is off the fucking charts.

>pass it off as my own
Where did I say it was my own code retard, you seem to think I give a single fuck about going through the process of copying an url and linking the source material.

Also, great argument fagtron, you really convinced me with those hot opinions, good job proving literally nothing and letting the evidence of a shit language sit there.

Make it a native application, then.

Oh yeah, I'll create a native application, then have the end-user install it just to update a graph. Great idea. Any more hot tips detective?

> muh retardation
> muh larping pretending i know things
> muh copy and paste skills are second to none
100% retardation: confirmed.

>great argument fagtron, you really convinced me with those hot opinions, good job proving literally nothing and letting the evidence of a shit language sit there.

I like PHP.

What are the alternatives? I have no idea.

Attached: 50a.jpg (470x595, 201K)

Format it properly and PHP's stupidity becomes even more apparent
print(
$foo == 1 ? "uno"
: $foo == 2 ? "dos"
: "tres"
);

I've been programming for 10 years and php definitely should not die. You literally just copy rajeet code and get mad when shit is fucked.

/thread retard

tu quoque fallacy and ad hominem, just because user didnt provide the source doesnt mean the criticism is invalid

LMAO can you imagine if every website was a fucking exe or app that you had to download and install?

Wanna browse 4chinz? Download this whole program because some user declared JS to be cancer
Youtube? Fuck that, now you just copy and paste web addresses right into MPV.
Measurement converter? Totally better to have the input sent all the way back to the server and then a whole page re-rendered.

>if foo is 1 {
>} else {
>"uno"
>if foo is 2 {
>"dos"
>} else {
>"tres"
>}}
its "tres".

You would make a native application for the "end-user experience" instead of trying to emulate such features in the browser with huge convoluted JS frameworks, and to give users control of their device and the programs they run instead of having everything behind a restrictive web interface.

But you're not a real programmer, hence the rise of Electron.

Javascript
Elixir
C#

All of the above are strictly better than PHP

You sound like a massive dumb ass who doesn't understand the real world outside of your mom's basement.

>Picture of an idiot
>Text of thing I don't like
great content guys

just use asp.net you bunch of autists

JS? Lmao you are dumb. Elixir maybe one the same level C# is just dog shit.

wow it prints "dos", mind blown.

>huge
>convoluted
>frameworks
>a fucking graph

Web dev for 14 years, php blows, deal with it.

Yeah no, no end-user is going to do that, you have blatantly poor understanding of what makes software useful and what it should be used compared to websites from an end-user standpoint, the kind of developer who will only ever work for other people and never make anything useful themselves.

Where did you get the else after the first if statement and then have nothing, but even though "dos" is declared in the same way, it would print if foo = 2.

>enterprise/silicon valley bubble
>all fueled by sheer consumerism and ignorance, aka people who have no idea what technology is and just want to tap their phone screen
>real world
Is pic related the "real" world?
>1,077,216 weekly downloads
No, this is cancer, and anyone developing for this ecosystem isn't a real programmer. The "real" world is selling user data and ads and tracking their every habit - I understand how it works just fine, doesn't make it good.

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>no codetags

Attached: daffy_duck.jpg (719x719, 62K)

Webmonkeys will defend this.

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Wow, there are shitty developers out there, who would have guessed. But because there are many shitty web developers out there, all of them and every web application must be shit.

PHP only blows if you copy pasta which you do.
/thread

Wow how many times have you posted this today?

Composition/division fallacy, just because there are shit web developers does not mean all web developers are shit, check yourself out because you're not smart, not a good developer and will never produce anything useful to anyone with your attitude.

A thread died for this. Christ.

A thread that nobody, including you, cared to keep alive.

36

what's the problem with PHP?

HERE GUYS LOOK AT MY WEIRD EDGE CASE NOBODY EVER ACTUALLY WANTED TO USE.

You can just find that for literally every language.

A lot of things, just do some of your own research and you'll quickly see.

Even if it was a great language, the best, it's already too late for PHP, the era of mobile computing killed it. It became unsustainable to get entire pages of HTML instead of having the client handle everything due to bandwidth limitations. Anyone complaining about its death and the use of JavaScript doesn't understand how we got to the point where we are today and should be ignored because they have no concept of what makes software successful.

PHP isn't inherently bad. It's just poorly designed/maintained. Naming isn't consistent at all which makes for a frustrating development experience. Not saying other languages are perfect. They all have their faults, but I have had better experiences in web development with other languages.

>JS
>not infinitely better than PHP
ok retard
got any more retarded remarks?

>nobody uses nested ternaries
I bet you use mutable variables with if-else blocks like a full-blown pleb.

Considering ternaries are retarded.

Yes I do

nested ternarys are gay as fuck. just use normal if statements

Nodetards do one single thing right: See that PHP is an absolutely unsalvagable fractal of garbage misdesign and now you retards go
>HURRR, if the node people hate it, it MUST BE GOOD! This makes so much sense! I love having a library with an unusable standard library that has inconsistent naming and argument orders by design because the function hashing function was originally strlen and where functions do 3 destructive, different things depending on which arguments it is passed and weak, dynamic typing that is designed so that even if I pass in complete and utter garbage, instead of just erroring, it just keeps going, doing the wrong thing. I love that.

You probably believe PHP 7 "fixed everything" because you can now have return type declarations and type hints like C could 40 years ago.
Fuck off.

I've seen so many classic, pure HTML pages load in milliseconds on my mobile phone and so many shitty SPAs, even those made by google (ever used the Firebase Dashboard?) that take forever to load simple sites even on my desktop.

I really have no idea who benchmarks these sites and determines them to be fast enough or even faster than plain, native HTTP navigation, but their methods are flawed.

>t. thinks making an HTML with some CSS is the full extent of web development

No. There's one simple reason it can't, and it isn't even the terrible syntax and the absolutely awful standard library:

PHP and its entire ecosystem (all libraries) are designed for the ancient (fast)CGI model of handling web requests:
Web server takes request, dispatches it to a handler service, the handler service starts from zero and has to build up every class, every singleton, its DI container, all the services needed to handle the request, connecting to an SQL database and preparing the statements and only then the request can be handled and a response sent.
And what happens after the response is sent? The process gets destroyed / restarted, so all that work has to be repeated for every single request.

This doesn't scale.

Web Applications written in any capable language, like Go, Java, even JS with Node just start their own web server, do all this preparation work to create the services, they just connect to their SQL Database once and keep that connection, as well as all prepared statements and then they just run a classic event loop like any normal web server would, accepting sockets, handling requests, sending responses, doing non-blocking I/O etc. No need to tear everything down and build it back up with every single request.

PHP can't compete. It will never compete. PHP is a babby language for people who are so afraid they can't manage memory, even in an already garbage collected language, that they'd rather make the computer do 30x the work on every single request.
And for what? Developer convenience over user convenience? NO! Using PHP isn't even convenient. The language is a mess.

React and Node makes more sense to me, just update the virtual dom with some json data on the client, much more efficient depending on the context

>*20% of sites use wordpress*
>*70% of web runs on PHP*
>"i-i-it can't compete!"
virgin cope

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>20% of sites use wordpress
Yes. You recognize those sites because they look and feel like they're from the 90s and perform like ass because there are megabytes of CSS all overriding each other. You also recognize them by their regular, terrible security holes, a feature PHP practically encourages with its design.
>70% of web runs on PHP
Yes. Small sites that in the Nu-Internet where everyone just goes to social media never get any visitors and websites like Wikipedia which could be written in bash with a sleep 20 in every single page and perform just as well because all the pages are actually served from a cache due to being static.

Retard cope.

>*perfoms like ass because of megabytes of CSS*
>php is slow because of the CSS!
>"only small sites use PHP, Facebook and Wikipedia don't count!"
t. rick & morty superfan

You said "*20% of sites use wordpress*" As if WordPress is an example of amazing PHP software when it's actually complete and utter garbage. And it's not just slow as fuck because of the megabytes of CSS and JS an average WordPress installation spits out as soon as you install a Theme and a couple of plugins.

>only small sites use PHP, Facebook and Wikipedia don't count!"
I explained how Wikipedia works, you absolute fucking retard, holy shit. It literally doesn't matter performance-wise how they generate the content. Read what reverse proxy caches like Varnish are and about edge side includes instead of embarrassing yourself here.

And using Facebook as a pro PHP argument is absolutely ridiculous, Facebook had reached the absolute end of PHP scalability over a decade ago, which is precisely why they created their own language, Hack, to fix PHP's many, many shortcomings.

Good lord. I can tell I am speaking to a PHP developer here.

>4chinz? Download this whole program because some user declared JS to be cancer
I already phonepost through Clover and Overchan. Might as well install a desktop client, like qtchan, good idea.
>Youtube? Fuck that, now you just copy and paste web addresses right into MPV.
Literally better than Youtube though. Especially if you have an extension/binding for that.
>LMAO can you imagine if every website was a fucking exe or app that you had to download and install?
Pic related: *blocks your path*

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>social media
It absolutely is social media. We all think it's of a better or more palatable form, and its intrinsics are vastly less personal. But its core use is exactly the same as all other social media.

>wordpress

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It's not about speed, it's about bandwidth. Did you even read the post?

>This doesn't scale
t. someone who doesnt know how widely used drupal is
please explain why it's the go-to choice in higher-ed if it's so slow
>connect to their SQL Database once and keep that connection
bottleneck
>No need to tear everything down and build it back up with every single request
not maintaining server-side state means it's harder to exploit
>It will never compete
>It will never compete
>It will never compete
cope
once the meme.JS hype dies and people realize how trash that ecosystem is, they'll come back to the tried-and-true system where real work has consistently gotten done, rather than downloading a fucking odd number checker a million times

>it's not about speed
akamai.com/us/en/about/news/press/2009-press/akamai-reveals-2-seconds-as-the-new-threshold-of-acceptability-for-ecommerce-web-page-response-times.jsp
sorry you havent gotten the memo yet

>>php is slow because of the CSS!
PHP isn't shit because of its raw performance, it's shit because it's an extremely insecure mess of a language. The sole reason it's still relevant is technical debt and sunk cost.
That said, it's nonexistent outside of webshit. A tumor that doesn't metastasize is manageable. JS became the bigger pile of shit after clinically insane Bay Area faggots made it general purpose.

There is so much wrong with this post it's hard to know where to start.

PHP 7 with Laravel is ok. Not good, but it's ok, I wouldn't mind working with it, in the end a language is just a tool.

>once the meme.JS hype dies and people realize how trash that ecosystem is

Won't ever happen, because webshit is a ghetto. It's where people end up when they are too lazy and stupid for anything else. They want Javascript everywhere because they like what makes it shit, it's a language that lets mongoloids wangle random bullshit together with no coherent design and somehow end up with a functioning website.

what's funny is you can write
#!/usr/bin/env perl

my $foo = 1;
print(($foo == 1) ? "uno" : ($foo == 2) ? "dos" : "tres");
print("\n");
and it works as expected.
I think there are quirks to every language though and generally you should avoid writing weird shit like this anyway since it's how you bump into unexpected behavior

>people seriously defend PHP of all things
Fucking niggers,the only saving grace of PHP is that it's such a fucked language that people made things like Haxl and Hack that transpile to it, so you don't ever have to touch that steaming pile of shit.
Anyone who worked a considerable amount of time will tell you that PHP is the biggest fucking disgrace to the web ecosystem, the only reason it's still in use today is because of legacy systems.
JS is infintely better, because the language design alone is far superior to PHP. Creator of PHP even admitted on twitter that he has no fucking idea what he's doing with PHP.
No, is-odd package is not an argument. If it were then no language with a package manager today would qualify as a "serious" language by that measurement. Anyone can publish anything on package managers and eventually sneak in some retarded code into some other one with high user count. Fucking retard.
The only real reason anyone on this board would hate on JS is because they are crossboarding niggers from /v/ just going with the Jow Forums contrarianism hivemind without giving a second thought to what they are actually spouting.

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is-number(36);
>true

Javascript is bad too but not like PHP. If you start a project today and use PHP you are an idiot. If you start a project today and use Javascript I wouldn't say the same

>fractal
stopped reading right there.

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node is also bad though, just somehow more versatile than php.

Perl is pretty consistent if you use strict;. It has a bad rep because of smartasses intentionally writing line noise programs.

The only real fault of Node is not adopting Promises and ES6 features sooner.
The callback APIs are really awful.
Ryan Dahl is such a fucking coon.
>guess promises are just a silly feature, we gonn have none of that!
>leaves node
>makes deno
>haha guess I made mistakes!
no fucking shit, retard

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>Jow Forums isn't social media

It's a site where multiple people talk to each other and socialize, with the ability to post media.

that's the fucking definition of social media.

>It's a site
It's an imageboard. Just because newfags treat it as their stomping ground doesn't make it social media.

>You probably believe PHP 7 "fixed everything" because you can now have return type declarations and type hints like C could 40 years ago.

No, I believe that because it killed the old insecure MySQL commands, it has better OOP support, because it is 2-3x faster than 5.x branch, and because it killed off some of the old type mixing stuff.

Jow Forums is how social media should be actually.

He was thinking about this famous blogpost. " PHP: a fractal of bad design" from 2012. I can't link it because Jow Forums thinks I'm spamming.

>social media - websites and applications that enable users to create and share content or to participate in social networking.
Its the literal definition of a social media site

>I've seen so many classic, pure HTML pages load in milliseconds on my mobile phone and so many shitty SPAs, even those made by google (ever used the Firebase Dashboard?) that take forever to load simple sites even on my desktop.

I once wrote an imageboard that can load 400+ post threads in less than 0.1 sec to load and has all the frontend functionality. compared to that, 4ch takes seconds to load all the javascript shit, and 8ch sometimes takes half a minute.

Yeah, but that’s because m00t was a tranny loving faggot who couldn’t program.

>complaining about PHP while posting on a chinese cartoon forum that was written in PHP
OH THE IRONING

/thread

?> is redundant

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>email is social media
>contributing to a remote git repo is social media