2019

i need this in my life
it washes your ass from below right?
jesus just imagining warm water washing your sressed out asshole immediately after shit is making me diamonds for some reason

few days ago i had to shit while i was showering
luckily my bathroom is small and toilet is actually almost under my shower so i just sat naked while water was pouring on me and took the shit , there was no smell, no mess, it was cleanest shit i have ever took, and i felt clean and happy that i even got erection

Helps when u dont eat much and got low body fat. Good posture. Good diet. Yes it is possible.

Americans wipe Canada's forests down the toilet. Overweight people overeat. How fat is the US?

user i think you might be gay

>2019
>he still uses paper

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dude what the hell

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NO ! thats not how we're remembering it

>no fats or sugars in your diet.
I have plenty of fats and sugars but I still get that perfect shit occasionally.

>Americans wipe Canada's forests down the toilet
americans are parasites of this planet

unnecessarily overcomplicated
just use a hand shower

i get the diet part, it is important but what about actual positioning? does that matter?

>hand shower
A what now?

he probably means the mobile shower that you hold in your hand

I've used wet wipes since I was born 26 years ago

what else do you suggest we make paper out of?

>2019
>we still have an ass to wipe
this is the real problem

but its still a paper just wet and you smear the shit even more when you moist it
this
why isnt our body more optimized, all those guts and shit, its too primitive

>2019
>still obtaining your nutrients from matter

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chew five gum every day

unless you have your asscrack regulary bleached wet wipes is the only way to properly clean your shit from your asshair

i was actually pointing at the fact that we need to involve physical contact with shit to wipe them with our hands
there should be more cleaner way so we never have to see, touch or smell the shit and the shit itself remain around our asshole for a minimum amount of time

>what is a bidet
>what is a hand shower

yikes

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>asshair
oh my god this nasty thing is whole another level of problem and literally deserves its own thread

why the fuck do we have hair on asshole , what a cruel joke
how do we fix this forever

>what is a bidet
too expensive for the average working class
>what is a hand shower
not as effective in cleaning shit as a wet wipe. I've done my tests. even with high pressure, hot water, my asscrack isn't as clean as with wet wipes.

I am not indian or american or someone from big country, one thing really makes me curious is, do the people mentioned above use water? specially people in big countries, I have they directly wipe with paper. how is it possible to properly clean without water? dry shit is bound to be stuck on your body.
what we do is we have like mini showers which we use to fire water on ass for lot of time then we use paper to wipe.
its pretty clean

>how do we fix this forever
the same way we fix any skin issue, laser surgery. but its expensive to get it done on the whole body. so waxing / bleaching once a month is the way to go

who needs a bidet when your ass is rapidly dripping blood after a few wipes

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>too expensive for the average working class
its literally a small sink
>even with high pressure, hot water, my asscrack isn't as clean as with wet wipes.
arent you using soap or something while washing it with shower? dont tell me you just point the water at asshole and wait for it to clean itself lol

>arent you using soap or something while washing it with shower? dont tell me you just point the water at asshole and wait for it to clean itself lol
and how the fuck is using a disposable rubber glove+soap+hot water more convenient to clean your ass with, than a few wet wipes?

>not washing your ass after a wipe with a bidet or in the shower

yikes

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Yes. It's called the ghost shit.

It's mostly about not having your sphincter slice it off and staying between type 3 and 4 of the Bristol stool chart.

because we are talking about end result here, which is actually cleaning your asshole instead of just smearing the shit all over with paper/wipes

>its literally a small sink
a small sink that needs to have the bathroom routed appropriately to even have acsess to your water pipes. if it wasn't planned in already, it can easily cost 1k ish to get it installed. but you would need a big enough bathroom to begin with. and guess how many wet wipes you can buy for 1k

>so waxing / bleaching once a month is the way to go
if you want your boyfriend to be happy

fucking fag

>Bristol stool chart.
>it actually exists
im sorry i doubted you

but you initially claimed:
>is the only way to properly clean
which is plain wrong, as shower or bidet can also, and much more sanitarily
with wet wipes you still have f*cal matter splattered all over your bum

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>because we are talking about end result here
not for me. convinience is always a part in everything.

>>what is a bidet
>too expensive for the average working class
untrue, everyone has it in Italy, even in Naples which is basically a planet on his own completely detached from reality

every home in countries where it was accepted as a normal thing had them and near the toilet seat
space is a premium today, not 60 years ago

>but you initially claimed:
true. my bad.

I was thinking about how males and females take shit.
I mean females by nature have wider hips and bigger asses , of course fat men included.
So imagine how do they even shit? I mean literally cant spread their cheeks so they have minimal mess.
Their shit unironically needs to squeeze between the cheeks too!! Oh my Lord in Heavens imagine the mess and the process of cleaning that.
Also females have another hole not a centimeter away...

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>disposable rubber glove
what are you a fucking pussy? clean your body faggot

when i adopted a raw vegan diet, there was barely any residue on the tissue. this probably could be the same on a raw or even rare or even medium cooked meat diet too. the amount of tissues we use depends on our diet.

but how and when is it ever convenient to have literal shit on yourself, especially in a place that doesnt get much air and it sweats a lot smearing that shit even more and breeding bacteria and mushrooms

I'll forgive you only if you stay hydrated and consume good food while avoiding sugar.

xc

im already on it chief

offtopic: how does one decides to shift his medic career into researching human shit and assholes
amazing, i hope its a part of researching the guts system so they dont have to say they are the doctors specific for assholes and shits

>every home in countries where it was accepted as a normal thing had them and near the toilet seat
>space is a premium today, not 60 years ago
true. and I've never claimed otherwise. but housing prices only go up, to the point we have the middle class of our country already complain about it weekly in the news

>but how and when is it ever convenient to have literal shit on yourself
you can still gauge what is more convenient
>especially in a place that doesnt get much air and it sweats a lot smearing that shit even more and breeding bacteria and mushrooms
that never happens for any normal human being.

>Be me
>28yo
>Not a stick figure, but not extra thicc either
>Spine and hip issues due to drunken shit parents beating me to within an inch of my life when I was a baby before finally being removed from their custody.
>Had to have parts of my spine fused at 17
>First hip surgery at 16, second at 19, last at 24
>Literally can't bend far enough to wipe my own ass
>Used wipes and TP on a stick to get the job done for years.
>Vacationing with foster family in Hawaii for 20th birthday
>While on the toilet, see that the shower in my hotel room has a detachable shower head.
>Gears turning. I wonder...
>Finish up, flush, strip down and get into the shower.
>Take the shower head, bend down and position it and OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING.
>Try each nozzle setting. Discover the high pressure setting is the best.
>Never felt this kind of clean before. Almost as if the water got right up in there and washed it out a bit too.
>For added clean, grab a rag, soap it up, put it between my legs and go back and forth. No mess left on the rag! Holy shit!
>Rinse soap off. Feel even cleaner than before.
>Make sure that bits of shit all go down the drain.
>Wash the shower head with soap and rinse it off.
>Ass towel goes into the used towel bin
>Feel fucking fresh and more clean than I've ever felt before for the entire day.
>This becomes my go-to for cleaning
>After getting home, buy one of these shower heads for myself.
>Still have to use stick and baby wipe every so often, but as soon as I get a chance, a couple quick minutes in the shower is all I need.
>Always keep a pair of pliers, shower head and hose with me when I travel. Most hotels don't have them
>Eventually get to try a bidet. Gets me clean, but still don't feel as clean without soap.
>Singing the praises of a detachable shower head to anyone who bitches about wiping.
>Can change the world if everyone knew.
>Stop wars and all that shit.
>Fuck yeah Hawaii.

*2080

Yeah though there's probably some residue on the inside.

Wait, are you telling me that non-detachable shower heads exist? I never seen one (but I'm not from USA).

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They're the norm here in the states. More common but detachables are gaining popularity. I knew they existed as a kid, but I didn't even see one in person until I was 20.

I'm almost 190cm tall and my shits would clog this fucker on the first casual morning dump.

does your height implies that your shits are long as well?
wtf

I own a BioBidet BB-2000, and yes, the feeling of having a nice warm stream of water wash your ass for you is unmatched. Its like a watery massage, but for your asshole.

No homo.

ikr?
you lucky sob

>202X
>Not having the biological marvel that is the horse anus

braap

This is why I think the most useful application of a teleporter type technology would be a surgical implant so you no longer have to deficate. The pieces of shit left behind make there way to the portal vein and recirculates in your system. You'd probably be much healthier without all of that shit lingering on the inside. Even if there is barely any residue, microbes are still going to be recirculating.

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Warm isn't acceptable. Will make odors more noticeable for a while. Also opens your pores. You don't want that.
Cold wouldn't be gay or sexual. Warm water is incredibly gay.

the problem is that shit is not moving by itself, it will not just going to slide towards the portal
the muscles are helping with this, and for muscles to work they need to sense the presence of shit so you still have to have shit in your organism
it needs to be removed way before it reaches the intestines but the problem is our body is extracting nutrients in guts so we need somehow to modify our food to be only made of nutrients with no waste, so we wouldnt have any shit at all

Japanese toilets actually don't clog that much because they're quite well designed to flow your shit out rather than shove it out.

You still need toilet paper, unless you have some other way to dry your ass.

I just mean the last portion of it after everything has been processed.

i feel that most toilets in the world do not have proper vacuum handling, vacuum is the hidden master here for taking the shit out, not the stream of water

my stupid toilet often cant take away my shit because its sometimes big or its bent and clogs up
the vacuum would pull it so hard it would go out in a second and water is just there to moisturize the process and wash the residues of shit in upper parts of toilet ( but you already should know to aim straight to the pool of water instead of shitting the walls of toilet that you have to clean with a cleaning brush)

AND thats another thing for fucks sake, those cleaning brushes, you literally brush your shit from walls of toilet and then that shit remains on brush
am i supposed to clean brush afterwards? of course not
we are really wasting too much time and resources into basic shitting and its a fucking 2019
those fucking pajeets shitting in the street and never turning back are literally less hassled than 1st world people with high-tech toilets

oh my bad, i thought you wanted to eradicate shit completely forever

Are you a horse?
If you aren't, I have bad news for you.

this is the second post about horses
what is so special about horse assholes or they just have stronger shit pressure than us when ejecting?

>fire water on ass
what?
so what i understand from your post is, you guys use some sort of bidet or something?

balkan muslim detected

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this is beautiful
its really genius way to eject shit and self clean yourself
its so simple yet genius

Best shit I ever took was in a shower with a clogged toilet drain.

A good 10lb of shit squatting. It was amazing.

Turns out the shower drain was on the same line as the toilet (and the sink) though and the clog was past both so it backed up.

Thankfully the ex was at work and I had time to get it snaked out and all cleaned up before she got home and started screaming over the bathroom covered in shit.

Why don't we have this yet?

We do.

You're meant to squat to shit which does it perfectly.

Toilets are designed wrong, from a ergonomic view point.

no man, to be perfect part of our intestine should pop out, eject shit, and retract inside with all the shit residue and thus keeping your outer asshole and ass clean and untouched
but it doesnt...it doesnt...

Humans adopted to toilets... Meanwhile Indians....

I love to shit on the pooloos man but sitting toilets are just wrong. Squat is the natural shitting position.

>he doesn't even eat electricity

[email protected]

>You still need toilet paper, unless you have some other way to dry your ass.
There are models with blow dryer.

why not just a tube that inserts into your butt and gently sucks the poop out?

that will dry out your asshole skin and make you develop dandruff in your asshair
you will then have to use shampoo on your ass

youtube.com/watch?v=R-o7YG3x0DI
like this but for shitting

I've never taken a shit without wiping and then washing my ass in the shower directly after
AMA

And before you ask, I follow a strict routine of shitting once a day in the morning before doing anything else. I avoid shit food so there's no emergencies

What you mean your mom?? lmao

yes and they play nice music so no one else is disgusted because you sound like an animal.
>still using flip phones
>future toilets
>ethnostate
i want to live there so bad

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Squat while shitting and you wont need to wipe your ass

1 ) what about when shitting outside of your own bathroom
2) how do you shit every day? you force it or it comes naturally? are you smoker?
3) i shit every 3-4 days, am i fucked?

How barbaric.