What tech do they have at Area 51?

What tech do they have at Area 51?

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coffee machines

mops
buckets if you're lucky

anal probes

that one dildo that fitts your mom.
pretty advanced tech i guess;
the stargate

Nothing of value. It's just a decoy to draw attention from their real secret military base.

Glow in the dark vats

Ok, what tech do they have at the "real" secret base?

VR porn

If I knew that it wouldn't be much of a secret base, would it?

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this

Used to have experimental airplanes. Nowadays it's probably a giant storage facility for buttplugs.

Scramjets and other experimental high altitude aircraft.

I bet they have computers there

Woah

Intel CPUs without ME

Ha

WHAT?!

Stuff you'll se at an airshow in 2059

Military personnel here, we have a t.v. in the break room.

A b52?

Fuck probably. Probably using it to test anti spaceship missiles and launching them from altitude in a B52

Probably this. Considering all the UFOs that keep showing up in the news. Any and all aviation tech they want prevent other countries from knowing we have.

satellites
spy planes are obsolete

Not high altitude stealth uav bombers

Elvis

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That one space technology scale capable of weighing your mom

Intel's 10nm process

which distro do the ayyy use?

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Linux Mint XFCE (X-Files Complete Edition)

OS X

ayybuntu

The same thing you find on the Model 2 arcade boards.

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Comfy early 3D

That was released two years before the N64.
Arcades were absolute monstrosities back then.

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Based on how every other government agencies work, they are probably still running Windows 98 on some legacy systems there

Yggdrasil

This

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>What tech do they have at Area 51?
Windows XP machines with 1280x1024 monitors.

I just can't imagine a top secret facility having any modern windows machines. I bet they do but still it feels weird.

They are the last known buyer of floppy disks batches

No way. It's almost certainly some hacked together COBOL abomination from before recorded history.

espresso machines

LGR did a video on the IRS system and it's quite terrible.

They have illegal monitoring tech on private land

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Alex Jones

an AI that generates rare Pepes

bio-engineered cat girls

Idk but it's definitely proprietary.

imagine getting the succ from alien

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windows 2000 nt and sun systems devices most likely. Now that most aeronautical reasearch is done through privet groups in-house they don't really use it for anything more than storage these days.

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They used to have stealth aircraft that didn't even work.

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That explains it

it's just a giant conspiracy theory bait area. they probably fly some experimental shit there, but it won't be anything exiting.