How you holding up, anons?

>trackball
Just resting my hand on the mouse makes it tingle and in a few minutes hurt, so I doubt that will help me.

Pretty good, I became a wizard today

The world is against us from before birth.

You can make it user, get some help if you have to. I was

>mid 30s
>great marriage
>dream job
>dream about sucide every day

Therapy helped

I'm not feeling well so i buy usless expensive shit on Amazon like a depressed woman.

suicidal since teenage years, i'm 30 now.

you're all gonna make it anons.

London etc

happy birthday bro

>family is mountain savage hobbits with 50 iq that are disappointed that i'm not an orc like them

Appalachians also, I take it?

Buy a motorcycle
Either your life will improve greatly or you can always an instahero at 250km/h into a wall.

Ignore this fag Buy a bicycle instead. Going fast and far with your own body power will make you feel great, and if it doesn't you can also an instahero going down a steep slope

i had a little 50cc scooter doing 80km.h, i felt great on it. Maybe you're right i should get a full size motorcycle.

> Jewish conspiracy is why i'm not a winner

>Marriage
Found your problem

Only fags who like to wear tight shorts and women do cycling. Mountain biking is the only acceptable form of riding a bicycle.

Only fatasses and closet faggots are against proper cycling attire

i'm on pills (valium & co) i might kill myself with the bicycle too, don't underestimate me user.

>Just turned 25 10 days ago
>Finished BSEE degree 2.5 years ago
>Spent a year and a half in depressive state (this will make sense in a second)
>Got a job almost a year ago as a data engineer in a good company
>Good Salary
...
>Wait for it
...
...
...
>Mexico

go for it user, i'm sure Mexico is great. I live in Paris and it's a shithole.

Not great, I'm incapable of change. I keep thinking that I might very well be better off dead.

Just acknowledge that you are a little faggy bitch, who is afraid of riding a motorcycle. Probably one of those faggots that post crying videos about nobody respecting them on the roads.
In the past a man had to know how to ride a horse. Motorcycles are horses of the 21st century. Only little faggots raised by single moms don't like them.

>Family is degenerate
>i became degenerate
Heh

family should always be your top priority.
It's better to be a degenerate, whatever that means, with a loving trusting family of degenerates than alone with nobody to trust and nobody loving you for who you are

Did you get decapitated yet?

>tfw no remaining family

I don't love or trust them par say.. but i gotta admit it's convenient to visit them when i'm feeling alone. Usually they want me to help them with shit though, and some of them i visit regurly just like me being around because i'm a decent listener and they can't live alone.

I always told myself friends are a choice and family is not. But i don't know which one is more important if you look at it like that

>mfw I wish I had degenerate parents but I have decent boring ones

>35
>good job
>married, two kids
>big apartement in the suburbs (europe)
>faithful wife
>nice car
i actually can't complain at this point.

>30
>Had good job
>Decent money
>Was just coasting along
>Get incurable cancer
:(

>winter is over
>the leaves are growing and the flowers are blooming again
>getting warm
>graduating in a month
>no job but have a car
>moving out soon
>started to learn to play guitar a few months ago, kind of shit at the moment but slowly getting the hang of it, want to start a band with friend
>everything seems to be moving too slow but every day flashes by so fast
>everything moving like a fucking rollercoaster
>fallen in love with a girl I met online and met irl multiple times
>it'll never work out because she lives in another country

well, this sucks. all the best, user.

Thanks.
Hopefully I can get back to programming but my mental state is worse than my physical state.

Graduating college in a few weeks, I've got a job lined up and have already secured housing, but I still feel this constant nagging dread that I've missed something important and everything that is going well for me is going to come crashing down soon.

Also I need to learn how to drive and get a license within a few months.

wish you the best user.

>being dragged down by your social surroundings
Lmao, guess I'm fucking lucky to only have about 5 true friends. The rest are just transient associates.

TIME TO BE PRODUCTIVE user

>Just one more catalog refresh, maybe there's something new
>Wow, haven't visited [board] in a long time
Okay, just gonna check my youtube subscriptions first
>Really soon now, just need to browse Slashdot/Hackernews for 10 minutes
>FUCK IT, I'll get motivation if I play a round of CS GO, Dota etc etc

Oh fuck it's time for bed.

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stand up straight, shoulders back, arm parallel to ground and straight at side. place palm of hand flat on wall with fingers straight, if not flexible enough lower arm a little bit. once you're there, slowly tilt your head to the opposite side. best stretch i've ever used

understandable. how long do they give you to stay with us?

>not going over there and beating her to submission

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Fucking crazy how much time can pass that way heh. ADHD is a nightmare.

as having crippling depression I miss my 56mg ritaline. This shit was so effective.

>28
>no friends
>no job
>live at home with mum
>have car
>no gf virgin
Least I have a decent pc gonna get into vr when index comes out and Zen 2 and forget about the real world

Don't do long distance user, I fell in love with a girl online in another country (transatlantic), wasnt even looking for it, visited each other mulitple times. I recently finished it after 4 years because there was no chance of either of us moving due to visa rules etc. Probably one of the crappiest feelings in my life.
Id 100% say breaking up with someone is worse than getting broken up with, especially when you know its not because of something either of you have done other than be born somewhere else

>29
>2nd year bachelor's
>working a shit job
>sleep 4-5 hours a day
>degree is a shit
>professors can't teach
>Invested a lot in the degree
>Haven't learned anything, I already knew most of it
>Can't get into programming, but I understand it
>Lost motivation for everything
Let's hope it's I'm 'in the dumps of times' and this mood will go away.
I hope you folks are doing better than I am.

Till about September.
Im on an inhibitor though which has halted progression. So its hard to tell now. But apparently it wont work forever.

What you're doing the day ?

wew, that's heavy, i'm really sorry. i hope you can make the best out of your time, whatever is possible and you see fit.

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Dealing with pain from the metastatic parts they cant remove, nausea from the medication and possibly the disease and just trying to keep myself a little happy. If i can get everything under control i hope to actually do something more productive with my time.

Thanks. i guess it is nice that i have time still, but yeah its hard to be motivated when youve been given a time limit.

run from the "cure", travel to mexico
youtube.com/watch?v=gWLrfNJICeM
youtube.com/watch?v=jKqlTr9pC7k

>26
>went back to school
>depression came back
>failing all my classes
>hate my major
>I feel like I'm too dumb for school and too dumb to get a real grown up job
>I feel like I will be stuck in my shit minimum wage job for the rest of my life
>still no gf
>still a virgin
>little to no friends

Just hope I can figure out what I want to do with my life. I've taken career tests and also personality tests, but none of those tests are helpful.

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fuck that's hard.

i had a friend who got installed an electrical chip for the pain in the lower back for colorectal cancer, it worked pretty well.

i am ready to kill myself at any point in time. shitposting keeps me alive at this point

>>went back to school
I sure hope you didn't take a loan for that or you might as well have just shot yourself

my left eye is fucked and can only make out hazy shapes

you have kids and you're still shitposting here?!

Mine too, I was born that way. It's a bad feeling having half vision.

this would be true only if you were born in Africa or Asia

Lol its incurable, what cure can i run from? I might watch your wacky looking videos though, however im pretty sure what my doctors say is correct.

Yeah i have a few doctors trying to help, but its a cat and mouse game where they want to solve my pain just enough that im not a zombie or do any more surgical procedures as anticancer meds reduce recovery of any cell, even good ones.

Figured out how to be a Bloomer.
Life's great.

it was fine but some ash burned it and now I get fucking headaches because the visual input is so fucked

How the fuck can you deal with this shit?

I'm American, bro. I had too.
So far $11K

The meds aren't working and I feel like shit and I have no motivation to do anything besides sit around and eat

When I was a kid, I bled from it. I'd wake up with crums of blood holding my eyelashes and keeping my eyes closed. Docs would examine me, baffled and shit (This was early 90s). I never had two working eyes, so I don't know. I am sure you're having it worse than I am since you've lost something, I've never had it.

stopped medication after almost 10 years
this feels so fucking weird and the changes that happen to me are tilting me towards an existencial crisis

I lost my eye when I was 13 in a tragic fapping accident, along with my first full beard.

You get used to it. Wear a eyepatch, make "arr!" noises at kids that stare (bonus points for hobo beard and kraken breath). Shits cash.

>37
>High IQ burnout voluntary NEET.
>All I do is drink and masturbate.
>Did the girlfriend+job thing for awhile. No bueno. I'm comfy being the king of my own basement.

Pro Tip: Get a dog and or a cat. Bros before hos. Literally.

Bonus Round: Install Gentoo, it'll take up your free time and assist with disassociation from reality.

medications are like any other drug, a lot of them are habit forming and you get withdrawals when you go off

It's going to be a good day.

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Got a border collie and two cats and lemme tell ya, they make things bearable.

>depression is so erratic that i get to believe for weeks at a time that i beat it this time
>commit to things, get apartment, a job maybe
>seven months in without no warning it happens again. i want to die, but to actually kill myself takes resolve
>withdraw, turn off phone, stop checking mail, delete facebook, stop eating, stop going out
>live off of expired onions
>gonna lose the apartment

Attached: haha i hate myself.jpg (500x733, 141K)

Often I wake up with blood on my sheets and some strange wounds

>I am sure you're having it worse than I am since you've lost something
honestly I don't know about this but right now I have a fucking headache and feeling lightheaded from time to time

Anyways I wish you the best bro

>tragic fapping accident
I demand more information!

also I always wanted to be a pirate

cats are shit! get a fucking dog! or a service pony

>almost 30
>work in logistics with great salary and coworkers
>the only working person in the family
>halfway through CS masters
>no time to sleep/play vidya/go on dates/see friends/travel due to meme degree I want to get and other tech related interests
>have car
>own appartments
>haven't touched woman in 8 years

not bad actually, but I only relax when browsing Jow Forums. pretty much 80% of online activity happens here when I have time.

it's a scam bro

The thing is that when your whole fucking world changes from one moment to an other it makes you really think about what reality is and what exactly you are.
Sometimes I wish for the times I was nothing but suffering so I can be sure I am still me.

maybe I should get a cat, there are some new born kittens I can get from a family member

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i tried getting of benzos several times (xanax, seresta and valium), the withdrawals were crazy, you feel pain everywere. I should have stick to codein.

I know, but I have no idea what else I can do. I would hop on the learn2code meme, but I'm too dumb to code. I can't even understand web dev.

>tfw getting burned out doing IT work
I love technology but not as a career choice

All the best dear user.

Ill pray for you user

well you have to absolutely not exceed your ability to pay off the loan, as you can not get rid of it even by bankruptcy. you're tying a noose with an anchor around your neck. your sexual market value as a man with unpayable debt will be below zero. and most of the schools are money laundering operations that siphon loan money from the government and dump the students with worthless degrees.

professorconfess.blogspot.com/
blog author suggests it will be cheaper for most to directly hire a private tutor.

you need to reduce the dosis and to find something non-chemical that improves your life to replace it with
A waifu (preferably a pony), a family, a hobby, a goal or something else

even if you were that dumb (which is questionable) find a fucking savant sydrome
also apply yourself, your problems might not be the ones that are obvious

I'm 33 without any marketable skills or family. I woke up one morning and I've been studying language and programming nonstop for the last two months to try to catch up on life, hoping I'll have a shot at a good job and decent colleagues by the time I'm 35.

If you're younger than me, you have no right to be a downer. If you're 26 or whatever, you don't know how valuable you could be making your time. DONT end up like me.

I have crippling depression.

Get two cats, then they can keep eachother company. Make sure they're the same gender though.

>Make sure they're the same gender though.
I want to jerk off to them mating though.

Christ. I'm sorry user. Seek treatment if you can afford it. You are worth it.

On a hopeful note: My high school teacher was able to bounce back to remission from stage 4 leukemia even after her body rejected a perfect marrow transplant.

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take small mangeable steps bros
It might sound silly but you are here for a reason. 13,7 billion years of constant trial and error led to you being here. You can do it.
I believe in you and that you can make this world a better place.
It might be a rough journey for you but there is a path.
Do it!
Do it for her!

>tfw some people actually like to cycle, they don't have to. They have never had to relie on a bicycle to get to and from work all year in the snow, sleet, hail, rain, hurricanes for years and years and years...

Fed up with the retards at uni and considering dropping out and killing myself. So as always.

>13,7 billion years
Then why does the calendar only say 2019?