what the fuck would you do if the nsa shills busted your door open while you are trying to bust a nut with your computer left open?
/fucko/ thread
Adrian Ward
Brody Rivera
i fap with phone
Adrian Anderson
why would the NSA be interested in the computer of the average Jow Forums user?
Justin Richardson
im trying to create a scenario dong head
Gabriel Garcia
Cum with both hands in the air
Thank fuck I can jerk off with my feet
Xavier Flores
if you think a three letter agency might bust down your door at any moment, you should have your whole disk encrypted and always be in range of the power button.
Carson Hill
Well, I'm sure everybody involved would be quite embarrassed.
Ryan Bennett
Wow! I though these threads were dead since years ago.
Wyatt Flores
Would they confiscate my loli?
Caleb Harris
I modifed my source to explode with a fucking buttom press
Aiden Sullivan
they would bust in your door ask you to toss you those files big fella
Ryder Green
>shelter
I came here for shitposting not for feels
Matthew Nelson
Close the lid and boomerang the laptop to the wall.
Carson Scott
My entire system is encrypted and the boot device is on an external USB, then I just do CTRL+Shift+Alt+W which launches:
dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sd* bs=1M count=1 && melt-the-disks && poweroff
melt-the-disks is a script that tells an arduino I've setup to create a spark using 2 wires, which will set fire to a piece of paper then the thermite in the apparatus directly above so it then melts through all my drives destroying all the data.
I delete the filesystems first just as a precaution to make things more annoying for anyone trying to recover the data if the thermite fails.
Caleb Allen
ask them why they so rude then laugh as they find not a damn thing on the computer cause ther is nothing on it in the first place
Easton Collins
Normal etiquette is to walk out as the self destruct sequence opens with a L-O-U-D countdown over the loudspeakers. There is just something that makes people pause and think as the tannoys scream
TEN!
NINE!!
EIGHT!!
...
Jonathan Hill
so if i got physical access to your system all i would need to do to fuck you over would be to type "melt-the-disks"?
Matthew Johnson
Yeah and then I'd probably beat the shit out of you.
Tyler Gomez
>poweroff
>waiting for services to graciously turn off at times like this
Do not wait, just fucking kill the beast.
echo o | sudo tee /proc/sysrq-trigger
Hunter Johnson
First thing I would do is to try to literally body slam my dogs and pin them to the ground to immobilize them so they don't rush at the agents to greet them, cause they're really friendly and love visitors. And you JUST KNOW those fucking glowies are trying to take out all the good boys they can
Thomas Moore
>Dumbass dog is running at you full pace after you kick in a door to a possible terrorist's house (let's face it why else would they be kicking in your door?)
>Greet it with scooby snacks
Is this really what you want them to do? What if the dog had laser eyes and dynamite strapped to it?
Parker Garcia
How certain are you that you'll be fast enough to pull this off?
Jonathan Bennett
Because it takes 2 doors to get into my house, and after I hear the first one get knocked in I'll have plenty of time.
Ryan Campbell
>be NSA
>browse /fucko/ threads (because of course)
>see a fag holding active thermite in his house
>query the NSA database to find user's IP.
>tell the penetration team to get me the ssh password.
>instruct the surveilance to tell me when user leaves the house.
>ssh root@ip
># melt-the-disk
>house burns down
>user loses everything
>mfw no one will know it's me.
Christian Robinson
>ssh password
What kind of amateur do you take me for?
Asher Powell
Kill yourself yakumo
Thomas Brown
what does /fucko/ think about fedora gnu/linux?
Isaiah Rivera
It's not Qubes.